Late at night, a drinking party broke out at the dormitory.
“Ugh…”
I wanted to get drunk.
I wanted to get drunk quickly.
I wanted to forget everything.
If I could, I would have downed bleach just to numb myself.
If I could bleach my mind, turn this suffocating heart into a blank canvas, and erase everything, I’d sell my soul right now.
“We… we are Violet, right? You’re that Violet, aren’t you? The first one?”
No. 2 looked at No. 1 with bloodshot eyes.
She flipped through the pages of her mind repeatedly, only to realize she couldn’t even remember her name.
When, and where, did she start forgetting her name?
It was like realizing you’d lost your wallet but having no clue where it had dropped.
“Maybe you forgot it at the entrance ceremony?”
“That’s impossible.”
“Was it at the lab? I don’t know. When exactly did I forget?”
The moment we became aware of our oblivion, we were trapped in a blind spot of thought.
Realizing we’d forgotten our names made a fatal suspicion, long buried in the corners of our minds, rise silently to the surface.
A doubt emerged among us.
“Are we really the beings we believe ourselves to be?”
“What nonsense is that! No. 1 is here! No. 1 proves our existence!”
“…Maybe it’s just an illusion? You don’t even remember your name.”
“Maybe it’s something we momentarily forgot…”
As No. 2’s voice trailed off, No. 45, who had been gulping vodka like water, couldn’t suppress her anger and slammed the bottle onto the floor.
—Crash!
“What are you doing?”
“Forget? You idiots! Get it together! It’s not forgotten—it’s erased! We’ve tried deep breaths, discussions, all sorts of things, and it just doesn’t come back!”
“If we associate differently…”
“Stop it! Association? What kind? We’ve already combed through everything, from our IDs to our old memories!”
No. 45 cried out in frustration.
Some of us lowered our heads, while others silently gulped down their drinks.
It was as if someone had maliciously erased our names from all our memories.
If only it had been just our names.
Sadly, we realized that other fragments of memory had disappeared along with them.
The impressions of people we’d met over the past two decades had faded.
Whether the memories were good or bad, they were blurry.
It felt as if someone had cut pieces of film, thrown them away, and haphazardly spliced the rest together.
Should I at least be grateful that I still remember my parents’ names?
“…Of all things, military memories are still intact.”
No. 3 forced a grin, chuckling dryly.
After a feeble laugh, we all took another drink.
No. 7 slowly opened her mouth.
“I’m not sure when it started. Was it after the entrance ceremony, when we died and awakened to a new unique ability? Or was it even earlier, back when we were dragged to the lab?”
“So, are we saying that we’re actually lunatics who mistakenly think we’re someone else? Wow, amazing, and now we’ve added dissociative identity disorder to the mix.”
“That discussion already ended during the first meeting…”
“We might have to revisit the assumptions from the first meeting, given how our memories have become unreliable!”
“Aaah!”
The Violets began noisily shouting, raising bottles and cans.
Unable to take it anymore, I found myself yelling.
“Everyone, be quiet!”
No. 1, who had been sitting silently, stood up and shouted.
After taking some time to calm everyone down, the other Violets finally quieted down.
“There must be another reason. Let’s go over past events one by one. For instance, try recalling what happened right after the possession.”
“Right after the possession, we were taken to the lab. Those thugs dragged me in, and then…”
“What happened after you got into the lab?”
“Well, I was lying down… there was a bright light… Ugh!”
The headache that struck during nightmares slammed into me again.
I quickly used pain distribution, but since all the Violets were suffering, it was barely effective.
“Argh… What the hell happened back then?”
“I don’t know, but the Laplaxia bastards must’ve done something weird to us.”
Barely escaping the pounding pain, we once again lost our motivation.
We pulled out every last drop of alcohol left in our inventory and drank it all.
“There’s nothing we can do…”
My vision spun.
The world swirled.
I felt slightly better.
Relaxed. Sleepy…
When I opened my eyes, the faint light of dawn peeked through the curtains.
The room was a mess, filled with overturned bottles and cans rolling on the floor.
Some of the Violets were sprawled across tables and chairs, while others had collapsed right onto the ground.
The air reeked of alcohol, regret, and despair.
Groaning, I forced myself to sit up.
My head was pounding, and my throat was parched.
It wasn’t just the hangover—it was the weight of the unresolved truth that pressed on me, heavier than any intoxication could numb.
In a haze, I stepped over the scattered debris of the night’s chaos and stumbled toward the window.
The dawn sky was beautiful, its pale hues a stark contrast to the turmoil inside.
For a moment, I wondered if I could leave it all behind, let go of the doubt, and accept things as they were.
But I couldn’t.
The truth was too heavy, even for Violet to bear.
No. 1 staggered out of the dormitory.
“Ugh…”
The effects of drinking alcohol on an empty stomach yesterday were harsh.
My stomach twisted on its own and rebelliously emptied its contents.
After emptying even the stomach acid in the restroom outside, I turned back, only to find Kalia waiting in front of the dormitory door.
“Hey, Violet. I came to talk about what I asked you for yesterday… Wait, are you okay?”
“Hi, it’s nothing…”
As I tried to open the door to go inside, Kalia grabbed me.
“Nothing? Look at you. Wait… what’s that smell? Did you drink?”
“Hehehe… Just a, a little?”
Kalia sniffed a couple of times and quickly caught on to my state.
I was busted.
“A little, my foot! Looks like you had several bottles. What the hell did you do last night?”
Kalia pulled open the dormitory’s main door.
The rusty hinges screeched, and light streamed in, revealing the mess inside.
The Violet clones were sprawled across the floor in a chaotic state, surrounded by empty liquor bottles and beer cans.
Kalia clutched her head.
“…Unbelievable. Was this some kind of party?”
“No, I just intended to drink a little…”
“Violet! Does this look like ‘a little’ to you?”
Without giving me a chance to explain, Kalia folded her arms and glared at me before stepping into the dorm.
She clapped her hands with a spark of mana in each palm.
The sound echoed like a firecracker going off.
“Alright! Everyone up! Wake up!”
“Ugh… my head hurts…”
“This is worse than a pigsty… Did you rob a liquor store? Sure, there are a lot of you, but still, this is…”
One by one, she went around shaking us awake.
“Ugh… I feel awful…”
“My head hurts…”
“Who told us to drink so much?”
The Violet clones got a scolding.
Eventually, Kalia handed out a peculiar drink to each of us.
She called it a hangover remedy, and just one cup of it cleared up our misery in under five minutes.
Amazing.
The technology in this world is definitely more advanced than on Earth, and I could really feel it.
Under Kalia’s watchful eye, we cleaned up the messy dormitory completely.
After finishing the cleanup and having breakfast, we sat down to rest, but I could feel her gaze scanning us.
Why isn’t she leaving?
She broke the silence bluntly.
“…Violet, I noticed this before, but are you sick? Did something bad happen at the academy?”
“No, nothing bad happened at school. Everything’s fine! I’m just…”
“Liar.”
As I slowly tried to back away, she gently placed her hand on my shoulder.
“I’ve noticed since our time at the lab, Violet. You’re bad at lying—it’s written all over your face. Don’t even try to dodge it. Just tell me honestly. Did something bad happen at the academy? Is someone bullying you?”
“It’s not like that…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Whoever it is, if it comes down to it, I’ll personally go and teach that bastard a lesson. I’ll wreck them completely…”
Kalia cracked her knuckles for emphasis, her fists glowing with a pinkish-purple flame that matched her hair.
The sight made me chuckle.
“Hehehe…”
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, I’m just grateful.”
We sat together on the small sofa inside the dorm’s storage room.
“Really, nothing bad is happening at school, right? I didn’t say this before, but honestly, I was worried about you at first. I thought you might struggle to adapt or get involved with weird people at the Awakener Academy. But you seem to be doing okay now…”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s not because of school.”
“Really? So, nothing’s wrong at the academy?”
Her concerned eyes made me hesitate. I didn’t know how to explain the reason for my lack of energy, my forgotten real name, or any of the strange things happening to me.
“It’s just… I’ve been tired. We’ve been busy lately, you know? Hehe…”
“Well, if you say so…”
I gave a faint laugh to gloss over her concerns.
Kalia’s expression tightened briefly before softening again.
“Hey, Violet.”
“What?”
“I don’t know what’s troubling you, but if it ever gets to the point where you can’t handle it, tell me. Anytime. Got it?”
She gave a reassuring smile, trying to put me at ease.
Suddenly, I felt like trying something.
“Then, could you hug me for a moment?”
When I asked, Kalia hesitated for a second, then opened her arms and embraced me. She was taller than me, and it felt sturdy. Warm.
Seeing me being hugged, the other clones started to stir.
“Wait! Kalia! How can you hug No. 1 only?”
“Me too! Hug me too!”
The other Violets, wobbling on their feet, gathered around Kalia, encircling her.
“Hey, hey! Violet…! Or, uh, how should I address you all? Which numbers are you?!”
“Hug me! Hug me!”
“Fine! Geez, I’ll hug you all, but get in line first.”
After hugging all the dozens of Violet clones, Kalia finally managed to leave the dormitory.
“…Don’t forget. If you need help, you must tell me. Got it?”
“Got it!”
“I will!”
The scars still remained deep in my chest, but being held by someone else’s warmth made me feel a little calmer.
Thank you, Kalia.
I can’t tell you everything right now, but I’ll be honest with you someday when I get the chance.