Between the narrow alleyways, the Violets marched lethargically.
The Violets staggered as they searched the desolate, gray landscape.
Some dragged swords or spears along the ground.
They resembled a ragged militia.
The scraping sound of metal on the floor grated on everyone’s ears, but no one paid attention.
“How stifling…”
No. 71 instinctively tried to remove her mask.
The masks we wore only had holes for the eyes.
Wearing them for extended periods felt suffocating.
Nearby, No. 14 grabbed 71’s hand as she tried to pull the mask up to her chin.
“What are you doing? Did you forget the rule about hiding our faces outside?”
“This is a dungeon! No one’s going to see!”
The two bickered briefly, but when the surrounding clones gave them pointed looks, they fell back into place.
These days, our hunting trips often played out like this.
We moved mechanically, fought, got hurt, died, and resurrected.
In the process, it felt like something inside us was being worn down.
Just as sawdust scatters when carving wood or stone dust falls when chiseling rock, my drive, my passion, was disappearing.
Was it because we were tired?
Pain could be distributed, but fatigue couldn’t.
Not feeling pain and maintaining vitality were entirely different matters.
This caused disputes.
In the past, we rarely quarreled like this.
To combat this issue, we swapped consciousnesses with other Violet units—either those waiting in the Violet Network or stationed in different areas—at regular intervals.
It was a measure to prevent mental exhaustion.
Even so, the switch to my internal motivation had been turned off long ago.
The Violet leading the formation spotted a human-sized figure moving among the ruins.
It was a beast, twice the size of an adult man, walking on two legs.
“Oh, a beast spotted.”
“What kind?”
“A Growler. What should we do?”
“Do we really need to get close to fight it? Let’s just shoot it.”
All the Violets moved in unison but silently, encircling the creature.
They stowed their spears and swords and took out cloned crossbows.
Without a word, we positioned ourselves and aimed at the beast.
We braced the stocks against our shoulders and placed fingers on the triggers.
The glowing red dot at the center of the square sight aligned with the creature’s torso.
We imbued the bolts with magic.
Unlike our swords, it took us some time since we weren’t used to this weapon.
The bolts were tinged with red magic.
At the synchronized moment when our minds aligned, we pulled the triggers simultaneously.
The strings of the crossbows snapped lightly as over twenty crimson streaks flew toward the beast.
The creature’s broad ears twitched as it heard the twang, and it turned to look our way.
But it was too late to dodge.
“Kwaaaah!”
The glowing red streaks engulfed its body.
In less than a second, the magic imbued in the bolts burst like fireworks.
The beast collapsed to the ground, resembling a porcupine.
The Violets pulled back the levers under the crossbows to reload before cautiously approaching the beast’s corpse.
Thin smoke rose from where the bolts were embedded.
“Ah, now we can’t sell it.”
One of the clones grumbled.
The Growler’s body, caught in the crossfire, was utterly ruined.
Unlike other lesser beasts, its hide could be skinned and sold at a high price.
Though I didn’t know how to skin it myself, there were people near the dungeon entrance who would do it for a fee.
But with holes riddling the hide like this, it was destined for the shredder.
“Why didn’t you speak up when I suggested shooting earlier?”
“You’re right, but… it’s such a waste.”
The Violets retrieved the bolts.
Some were damaged or broken by the magic and seemed beyond reuse.
Bored, a few clones poked the corpse with their swords.
Others hacked thoughtlessly at its head with axes.
Beasts were strange creatures.
When alive, their tough skin felt like stone, even when slashed with concentrated sword energy.
But once dead, they turned soft and pliable.
“What are you doing?”
“Look at this, the blood’s black!”
“You’ve seen it before. Stop wasting time and let’s go.”
“Not taking anything?”
“Whatever. Let’s just eat.”
As everyone began retreating, one clone stared blankly at the Growler’s severed head before casually kicking it away.
“What are you doing? Hurry up!”
“Uh… okay.”
Watching the head roll away wasn’t as amusing as expected.
I let out a weak laugh before joining the formation, expressionless as if nothing had happened.
Why am I like this?
I had been doing bizarre things I wouldn’t usually do.
Each of us moved to the desolate outskirts of the ruins where no one was around, not even beasts.
Tonight’s dinner was rations.
We each took a spot and pulled the string attached to the ration packs.
Steam rose from them.
When the time was right, we tore them open and poured the contents into disposable paper bowls.
“Spaghetti.”
“Yeah, spaghetti.”
I twirled the fork and shoved the pasta into my mouth.
It had tasted good the first time, but it grew blander the more I ate it.
Had I grown tired of it?
“I’m done eating.”
One by one, the others abandoned their food.
“What about beer? Vodka or whiskey sounds good…”
When someone suggested it, we all took out the alcohol we had bought a few days ago from our inventories.
But even that was unappealing.
“Should we call it a day since it’s tough?”
“Let’s do that…”
Leaving the half-eaten food, we trudged back toward the exit.
After walking for a while, I felt a rumbling sensation in the distance.
The ground trembled.
“What’s that sound?”
“Probably an armored vehicle or truck.”
Trucks occasionally came through the dungeon to transport minerals or beast corpses, so the noise wasn’t unusual.
But this sound was far too loud.
The vibrations grew closer.
“Wait, what’s that noise?”
“There! Look over there!”
Amid the roaring noise, something massive moved through the ruins and approached us.
“Could it be… a Crawler?”
“It looks like it.”
Realizing what was happening, we panicked and began sprinting away.
The gigantic figure burst through the walls, revealing itself.
It was a massive beast resembling a caterpillar, about the height of a three-story building.
The Crawler, the dungeon’s sole mid-tier beast and the boss monster of the tutorial, had appeared.
It should only be found deep in the canyon—why was it here?
We shot our bolts at it.
The magic-imbued bolts flew but bounced off its metallic, glinting hide.
No. 9 and 23 approached with swords.
The Crawler trampled over them effortlessly.
It felt like we were the ones running into its path, not the other way around.
We were utterly powerless.
“Let’s run…”
We fled desperately.
The Crawler sped through the canyon, kicking up dust that was visible even from afar.
“Let’s take… some time off.”
“Yeah, let’s do that…”
Starting the next day, the dungeon team stopped working and holed up in the lodging.
We were exhausted.
Recently, we had been lying around idly, neglecting our assigned tasks.
Even the clones attending classes would quietly slip out once their attendance was marked.
“Hey! Are you not paying attention?”
While swinging my sword aimlessly in the air, Frederick approached me.
I braced myself for a scolding as he inspected me, but surprisingly, he spoke with an uncharacteristically cautious tone.
“···Hey, jerk. Are you sick?”
“Huh…?”
“You look like a corpse. Are you feeling unwell?”
Did I really look that bad?
Lying limp in the dormitory out of sheer laziness, Daphne called out to me from under my bed.
“Rugilinn? Are you asleep?”
“I’m not.”
“Then can I come up?”
Before waiting for my reply, she climbed up the ladder.
Just like the other night, she half-hung on the ladder and reached out, as if to check my forehead with concern.
“···What’s wrong?”
“I thought you might have a headache.”
“No. I’m fine…”
I didn’t have a headache.
I just felt drained.
Bored.
Weary.
I didn’t want to move.
“Did something bad happen to you? Can I help with anything? Maybe bring you something to eat…”
“···Too much effort.”
“What? I didn’t catch that…”
“···Annoying. Just leave!”
Why did she keep pestering me?
I didn’t feel like responding anymore and pulled the blanket over my head.
Through the layers, her disheartened voice came through.
“Sorry, Rugilinn. I didn’t mean to disturb you when you’re tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Her footsteps descended the ladder.
Only then did I realize my mistake.
What had I said?
I carefully peeked down from the bed.
Our eyes met.
She looked troubled.
The moment I saw those clear, blue eyes, a wave of shame washed over me.
“···I’m sorry for snapping.”
She gave me a kind smile as she heard my apology.
“Sometimes, when you’re exhausted, it’s normal to get irritated by someone talking to you. Rest well for now.”
I lay back down and thought about it.
I didn’t even have a reason to be angry, yet I lashed out. What’s wrong with me these days?
We sat in silence, lost in our own thoughts.
It wasn’t just about overworking.
Like clothes soaking in drizzle, the exhaustion crept in gradually.
No, the word “exhaustion” felt insufficient to explain it.
Why was this happening?
Nothing particularly terrible had happened.
-…I think I know why. Why we—and the others like us—are like this.-
The second me, lying silently, finally spoke.
-What is it?-
-How many times have we died?-
-I don’t know. I never counted…-
How many times had we died? How many injuries had we suffered?
As I tried to count and recall, a wave of overwhelming fatigue unlike anything before surged over me.
It hurt.
My arms trembled.
My head throbbed.
When I came to my senses, I realized I was trembling uncontrollably.
Finally, I understood.
I knew I hadn’t forgotten.
I couldn’t forget.
-We remembered it all. Even if we didn’t realize it…-
That statement resonated with all of us.
I had died countless times.
My neck severed, my head blown off, crushed, my chest pierced through.
Unluckily, I was dragged among the beasts and torn limb from limb.
Even with pain dispersed, having my stomach ripped open and my entrails spilling out was a strange sensation.
Losing limbs became almost routine.
After gaining the ability to disperse pain, we fought more recklessly.
Injuries increased despite our improving skills. It didn’t hurt, so we threw ourselves headfirst.
By then, losing a finger or toe wasn’t even considered an injury.
Yet, somewhere deep inside, it must’ve left a mark.
Was I breaking down?
Maybe I just buried it.
The sense of something missing or blood draining from my body was unpleasant and I didn’t want to recall it.
It was an experience I had never had before this life.
Something no ordinary person should endure in their lifetime.
-To be honest, we’ve lacked a sense of purpose or will for a while. With how we treated our bodies, it’s no wonder we’ve lost motivation.-
-Should we take a break?-
-Yeah… Honestly, we’ve pushed ourselves too hard. Let’s take some time off.-
That sounded good.
I wasn’t invincible.
I needed to handle myself with care.
Fewer deaths.
Fewer injuries.
Now that I knew the reason, I could see the solution.
-For now, let’s skip school for a while. Slack off. Pretend we’re tourists here.-
-Yeah, since we’re stuck in this game world anyway. No need to live so seriously. We’ve earned enough money. Let’s just enjoy ourselves!-
With a positive outlook, a ray of light appeared in the shadows of our minds.
-From now on, let’s relax! Buy a game console, set up computers at home. There are decent games here, too!-
-Hehe! Let’s open an internet café!-
Maybe becoming a girl after being possessed made me this restless.
If it had been the old me, I might’ve taken this more positively.
Of course, as a man, I had never died or lost limbs.
But I prided myself on having lived diligently.
I studied hard and applied for jobs to build my career.
Unfortunately, I often didn’t even pass the initial application screenings.
-Before possession, weren’t you on your way to an interview?-
-Yeah, I was applying as a temporary administrative support to match my major.-
Thinking about the past, we chuckled quietly.
Who would’ve thought an air conditioning unit would kill me?
-If I knew I’d get possessed, I wouldn’t have prepped so hard.-
-Exactly! Who even preps their introduction? “Hello! I’m applicant number 10···” Wait, who was I again? I can’t remember.-
-Are you stupid? Applicant No. 10···-
-Come on, that’s our name.-
-Our name? What do you mean? Our name is Violet.-
Everyone froze.
Suddenly, nothing came to mind.
What?
-Hey, why is everyone quiet?-
The first me spoke slowly, but even she sounded confused.
What was it? Why couldn’t we answer?
Why?
I remembered everything about life before possession.
The school I attended, the military service, what I did after graduation.
My likes, my birthday—I knew all of it.
But my name…
-Wait. What was our name?-
-We’re Violet!-
-No, I mean our real name! Before we were Violet!-
We screamed silently.
I couldn’t remember my name.
What was it?
My name. I couldn’t remember.
Why? Since when?
I knew I had forgotten something.
I thought it was insignificant since I remembered everything else.
But I couldn’t recall my name.
I’m Violet.
That’s true.
But I was someone else, too.
A man in his late twenties, a Korean.
Those memories were there.
Who was I?
“What was my name?”
Out of all things, I couldn’t remember my own name.
The realization left me stunned.
Finally, I understood what I had been missing.
“Ah….”
By the time I came to, tears were streaming down my face.