Kyle focused on the terror again and again, becoming more familiar with it. Unearthing the full scale of pain took some time, but learning to live with it would take longer.
The feeling of dying was one of the worst feelings anyone could experience. It represented the end of everything.
It didn't get easier for a long time. It was just as hard as it always was.
At least, that was how Kyle felt.
'It doesn't feel easier, but I can tell that it has become easier,' he thought. 'I can confront the feeling more frequently. I don't need as many breaks anymore.'
'It's just as intense as before, but it's not as exhausting anymore. The weight hasn't decreased. It's just that my muscles have become stronger.'
'I can take more now.'
Centuries passed, and Kyle became more comfortable with the feeling of death. The hardest part was already behind him.
Kyle simply looked forward with a forlorn expression. The terror of death had turned into a companion who came and went.
'I know I'm not actually dying, but it still feels so real,' he thought.
He sighed in silence.
'I've been confronted with death before, and it always felt different. Whenever I fought for my life, I was using this feeling to fuel my conviction. Terror can be a great motivator.'
'When I intended to sacrifice myself for Swamp Dragon and Manny, I've also confronted death, but it felt more... exciting. I was fine with dying, but I still wanted to give it my all. I wanted to see what I was capable of when I let go of everything.'
'When that Investigator appeared in front of me, I had also confronted death. Back then, I thought back on my life and found some things that I've regretted. I wished that I had spent more time with my friends, but I was also fine with everything ending.'
'Now, I also feel a mix of regret and acceptance, but it's different. They are the same emotions, but their origins are different. In fact, they're the opposite.'
'Back then, I regretted some parts of how I've lived my life and accepted that I would die. Now, I accept how I've lived my life, but regret that it ends. I want more. I don't want this to end. I mean, it doesn't, since I'm not actually dying, but feelings, you know?'
'I wanna see more. I want to experience more. I want to grow stronger. I want to actually make a difference.'
Kyle scratched the back of his head. 'I planned on starting something with Star Genesis, but it still hasn't worked out. However, that's my fault. I was never truly honest with her until I wrote that letter. Yes, I'm honest with her now, but my dishonesty still hurts her.'
Kyle sighed. 'Also, this entire Ayuvar thing is making it difficult. I don't even have an opportunity to spend time with her since we're all so busy. Well, maybe I'll get an opportunity in the future.'
He closed his eyes and focused on the pain again. 'For now, I should focus on my power. I know what I want and what I should do. My life isn't over yet. As long as I keep living, everything can be changed.'
More centuries passed, and Kyle slowly started to move again.
He still felt like he was asphyxiating periodically, but he had gotten used to it.
Finally, Kyle stood up and looked at the world above him.
For a moment, his Energy Sense encompassed the Mortal Empire around his chosen mountain.
His Energy Sense was always active. Technically, he always saw the Mortal Empire and the surroundings, but he wasn't truly looking at them. Like a Mortal in a city, looking for a friend in a crowd of people, Kyle's perception usually washed over countless living beings without truly perceiving or remembering them.
This time, he actually looked.
He could see all the facets of life as his Energy Sense encompassed millions of Mortals.
A newborn child and a dying old man.
A loving husband and a lonely man.
An overworked man and a sedentary man.
A young genius, who still had all the opportunities in front of them, and a former genius, who had no more
A hard-working yet poor man, and a lazy yet rich man.
A hard-working rich man and a lazy poor man.
Rejection and acceptance.
Good and bad.
As Kyle looked at all of these facets of life, the feeling of death gave them much more weight. He could relate to the old people and the warriors, and he could see the hidden dangers in the futures of the young people.
The world became more colorful. Not all of the colors were bright, but there were more of them.
'I still have a couple of millennia to go before the Sixth Refinement ends,' Kyle thought. 'There's not much more I can learn in isolation. The chaotic storm of Energy makes it difficult and dangerous to practice my Law of Hammer. There are no adequate Law Wells. I can only focus on the Major Laws of the Aspects.'
'But maybe...'
Kyle looked at the countless Mortals.
'I can also learn something about the world.'
'I can crush mountains and bend reality, but how much do I actually know about what it means to be a human?'
'Will knowing more about humanity increase my power? I don't know.'
'But I want to do it.'
Kyle slowly floated upward, and his body started to change. His muscles became less pronounced, and his clothing became dirtier. His height reduced, and his equipment vanished.
As he reached the surface, he looked like a young man who had just traveled through the wilderness.
Then, he slowly walked towards the nearest village.
Step by step, Kyle's aura changed. The chaotic storm of Energy still surrounded him, but it never interacted with his surroundings. Despite its immense power and speed, the Energy didn't even move a falling leaf to the side.
The black aura around Kyle became weaker, but it was still there. He couldn't truly get rid of his True Sin Aura, but he could somewhat suppress it. Sadly, this wouldn't work against Transcendents and stronger. At most, he could fool Mortals.
The fact that Kyle could somewhat suppress his True Sin Aura was already remarkable. Most people couldn't suppress it at all since they didn't know how. A True Sin Aura was not truly part of one's body, after all. Even though it had been assigned to them, it didn't belong to them.
A True Sin Aura was a warning from the world to others. The world was the one that created the True Sin Aura around someone, not the person.
As Kyle kept walking, his Energy Sense became smaller and smaller until it fully vanished.
He started to breathe, and for the first time in an eternity, he became hungry and thirsty.
His body adapted to his wishes, and Kyle felt it was difficult to keep walking through the wilderness.
Moving was starting to become exhausting.
Yet, Kyle's mind kept operating normally. He could adapt his body, his Energy, and his senses, but he couldn't change the speed of his mind.
During each step, Kyle thought of countless things and analyzed everything he saw.
Eventually, he reached the closest village and stopped near its entrance.
His mortal self had no belongings, community, friends, family, or connections.
He was supposed to live like a normal person, but...
'How?'
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