Chapter 393 - 135: [I Always Knew There Was Something Off About Him!]
Until he grew a bit older, he realized he actually didn’t have to endure such things, and he began to fight back using the simplest and most direct method: strength and fists.
Then, he became the one who was alone.
Throughout his elementary school years, Chen Yan lived under the rumor that "his father was a murderer who was executed."
Chen Yan didn’t know where this rumor originated from.
But it was certain that the child who started this rumor did not have the intention of "I hate you, so I’m going to make up this rumor to mess with you," probably just for "fun."
And the children who spread the rumor did it just for "fun" too.
Chen Yan resisted, using his fists.
But fists can silence one person, two people, but they can’t make a group of people shut up.
You beat one person down, and more will talk behind your back, even more aggressively.
Later, Chen Yan became indifferent.
You don’t play with me, then I won’t play with you.
It wasn’t that he didn’t make friends with others.
It’s that he... didn’t want to be friends with the world.
If I don’t have any expectations of you, and I don’t have any demands on you, then there will be no conflict.
·
According to common logic, an experience like Chen Yan’s would easily lead him to develop an antisocial personality as he grew up.
But fortunately, there was an elderly lady at his home.
When Chen Yan ran home with reddened eyes, angered by the rumors, and asked the elderly lady, "Where exactly did my mom go?"
The elderly lady took a puff from her pipe and told the story of the "White Fox."
This story particularly excited Chen Yan, who had been reading tales of the supernatural that summer!
My mom isn’t a bad woman who abandoned me! My mom is a White Fox! A beautiful, magical White Fox!
But his indifference towards the world, the cold heart that doesn’t want to make friends with the world, couldn’t go back.
The elderly lady could only teach Chen Yan principles: Don’t bully others, but if others bully you, you can fight back with all your strength!
Not bullying others was to hope that Chen Yan would, at the very least, adhere to a bottom line of kindness.
If others bully you, you must resist, hoping that Chen Yan would be a courageous person.
The elderly lady also taught Chen Yan many principles.
Like understanding gratitude, like repaying favors owed...
But principles, in the end, are just cold principles.
Chen Yan, who no longer wanted to be friends with the world, just saw these principles as dogma-like exists.
He was willing to follow these principles, because of the elderly lady.
Not because he truly believed the world was beautiful.
·
When Chen Yan was sixteen, he almost made friends with the world again.
At sixteen, he liked a girl—or it wasn’t so much a lovely kind of liking.
Generally speaking, it was mostly just a young boy encountering a girl who seemed lovely, and then being instinctively attracted to the opposite sex.
The girl’s name was Linlin.
Actually, looking back now, it could’ve been Linlin, or Fangfang, Huahua, Feifei, whatever. It’s just the nature of a teenage boy being attracted by the opposite sex.
Not even knowing each other’s personalities, where’s the true love coming from?
It’s just hormones, that’s all.
That girl was like many girls in adolescence, with a young and beautiful body, youthful and naive perceptions, innocent and somewhat foolish personality.
The girl might have initially been attracted to Chen Yan’s appearance—sixteen-year-olds already understand the importance of looks. The girl sent some signals to Chen Yan, and Chen Yan received these signals.
Then Chen Yan, like many boys falling into naive emotions during adolescence, got carried away.
Then, once again, he found himself in a state of "having demands on others."
His demand was simple: he wanted to be friends with the girl named Linlin.
Not thinking much about it, just simply wanting to be ordinary friends.
Initially, things went quite smoothly.
Chen Yan and the girl used to walk home together after school, used to exchange novels.
And during the holidays, they agreed to hang out, go shopping, have fun together.
Later on...
·
"What happened later?" Lu Sisi leaned against the headboard, and her little legs under the quilt gently rubbed against Chen Yan’s legs.
"Later, it’s simple, probably some boy who had a crush on her wasn’t happy, so he started spreading rumors that my father was an executed criminal, my mother was a bad woman who remarried and abandoned me, and made more stories, saying my father was a fugitive, my mother was locked up in prison..."
Chen Yan shrugged, with an indifferent tone, laughed: "Anyway, just like that."
Lu Sisi frowned: "And she..."
"She just distanced herself from me." Chen Yan smiled and said: "We didn’t make anything clear, at most we were just classmates who got along well plus ordinary friends, but with such a scary background on me, she gradually distanced herself. I noticed, and since that’s the case, I didn’t bother her anymore."
"Do you blame her?" Lu Sisi asked.
"No." Chen Yan still smiling: "I didn’t really like that girl anyway, honestly speaking it was just the hormones of adolescence, if it wasn’t her, I would be attracted to other girls at that stage either.
No real emotions, she never really touched my heart, so I wouldn’t feel sad."
Lu Sisi was silent for a moment, then sighed: "No expectations, so there would be no disappointments—is that what it means."
"I guess so." Chen Yan nodded.
"But, I’m angry!" Lu Sisi suddenly puffed up her face.