After the dramatic return of the runaway Evil God-chan, we started preparing for a trip.
“A trip? Out of the blue?”
“Yeah. I sent Bennet a letter and got a response. Turns out there’s a festival happening in a place called Trumpethall, the Holy City. Sounds like an invitation to drop by, so I thought we’d go.”
“⋯⋯Why does it only ‘sound like’ an invitation?”
“He worded it kind of vaguely.”
Fair enough. The Academy was a place that taught you how to fight, not to write eloquent letters.
In a fantasy world teeming with threats to humanity, it was no surprise that combat skills were the meta. Especially for someone like Bennet—a former Dark Wizard and now a Hero candidate.
Who had the time to read books and improve their writing skills when there was a constant risk of getting your skull cracked open? It was far better to spend that time swinging a sword a few more times instead of reading.
That said, the letter was clearly an invitation to come pay a visit.
The fact that Bennet didn’t answer my question about juggling two love interests at once hinted that it was the kind of thing he would prefer to discuss face-to-face.This was a golden opportunity. After the grueling battle with the Succubus Queen, we desperately needed proper rest.
“⋯⋯Isn’t lying around like this right now restful enough?”
“There’s a world out there your information blob of a brain could never comprehend.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, meat sack?”
I wanted something more immersive—rest that wasn’t just collapsing onto a couch, but something exhilarating, like plunging down a water slide at a theme park.
And Trumpethall, where Bennet was currently in right now, was hosting the Hero Selection Tournament during its festival. The entire city was abuzz with excitement. Maybe we could make some good memories there.
Plus, I could help Bennet out if he needed it.
And maybe get some expert advice from a seasoned master at juggling two relationships.
While I daydreamed about these plans, Pink-Haired Lesbian voiced her concerns.
“But Crazy Wizard, do you really think⋯⋯ this will just be a festival? It’s a tournament to choose a Hero. Politically and physically, it’s bound to stir up massive changes.”
“Hero stuff. From what I read⋯⋯ they’re noble figures who emerge during times of crisis. Apparently, one showed up a hundred years ago or something. If one shows up now, isn’t that a good thing?”
It didn’t seem like these Heroes were summoned from another world. Instead, the Goddess chose someone, bestowed them with power, and sent them to fight evil.
By that logic, the Goddess wouldn’t pick some egotistical jerk, right?
Surely, she knew better than to pick someone who was hungry for power and would abuse their gifts, hoard wealth, or treat their position as a license to build a harem or something. Even the Goddess would know that it would just backfire if she chose someone like that.
I still wasn’t sure what went down with Tara, but⋯⋯.
When I shared these optimistic theories, Evil God-chan gave me a smirk like she was looking at a kid who still believed in fairy tales.
“World in crisis my ass⋯⋯ kekkek. Are you an idiot? Do you seriously believe that nonsense?”
“Charming words.”
“A Hero isn’t anything special. It’s just someone who gets a big dose of the Goddess’s power, and poof—they’re a Hero. The Goddess, unlike me, is pretty dumb and straightforward.”
“That—you’re talking about that ‘ Thing ’ right? Watch your tongue. If you start spouting nonsense, I’ll personally ensure you take a dip in the Sanzu River”
I gave her a firm warning. Evil God-chan waved her hand dismissively, but she couldn’t hide the trembling of her body. She understood my warning was serious.
Just as I had a black box, Evil God-chan also had one—a tightly sealed vault of memories. I knew that it contained countless secrets of the world and invaluable information⋯⋯
But the reason I hadn’t torn her apart to extract intel about the ‘ Thing ’ was simple.
The ‘ Thing’s ’ power thrived on belief, and grew stronger the more people thought about it. It was kind of similar to my Illusion Magic.
The paradoxical truth was that the more you uncovered about it, the harder it became to fight. In other words, if Evil God-chan tried to share information, I’d be better off covering my ears.
That was why I warned her. If she dared to say something like the ‘ Thing’s ’ full name, I would cook her alive.
Evil God-chan narrowed her eyes, deep in thought. She seemed like she was choosing her words carefully. After a brief silence, she finally spoke.
“The Goddess and the ‘Thing’ are separate entities, but they share the same origin. You could say they’re of the same species. Naturally, they have many traits in common.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
“So, conversely, by studying the Goddess, you can safely learn about the ‘Thing’ without suffering any backlash. You’ll understand it later.”
I ran a quick check on myself. Was there any unusual activity in the dark hemisphere of my mind? Nope. No abnormal growth in the mass of the ‘Thing.’ The monitoring module also showed everything within normal parameters.
That meant she had really given me a ‘safe’ hint.
I prepared my battle stance and asked.
“⋯⋯Why are you being nice all the sudden?’
“Dad, aren’t we family now? I was just trying to get along better. And, you know, I don’t want to get hit by 3000 Times Sensitivity again.”
It was a blatant lie.
This creature could endure 3000 Times Sensitivity, excruciating torture, or any form of physical punishment. Her pain tolerance was on a completely different level from ours. It was a polar opposite of my fragile mental state.
That was why I targeted her pride and humiliation instead of physical suffering. Acting like she couldn’t take it? It was a clear lie.
“Stop lying. What’s your real reason?”
“Trying to hedge my bets.”
Arrrrrrg. Yuna hissed threateningly.
“Explain. Before Yuna fires her death beam.”
“You are a fucking monster, plain and simple. I can’t claim to know everything since 93% of my memory is locked inside your head⋯⋯ but even the remaining 7% of data is already big enough. But nowhere in my knowledge exists a monster like you. So.”
Evil God-chan explained that after observing me closely, she couldn’t determine whether the ‘Thing’ or I would ultimately win.
Now that her consciousness was severed from her main body⋯⋯
She decided to hedge her bets, choosing to back both sides rather than going all in on one. She added with a smirk,
“You’ve got clear rules. When someone helps you, you’re compelled to return the favor. So, I’ll throw you a hint now and then. So, embrace me. Raise me.”
“So⋯⋯ if your main body wins, you’ll merge back with it. But if I win, you’ll just stick around here?”
Tick.
Evil God-chan snapped her fingers, though there was no sound.
“Exactly.”
I could see why she would make this decision now. If it was the old Evil God-chan, it would be the start of endless torment the moment I won.
She was created to derive pleasure only from doing evil deeds. If I defeated her and kept her under constant supervision, she would have to spend every second of her existence in unbearable boredom and pain.
Wouldn’t that feel like being trapped in an endless empty white room? So she had no other choice but to hope for the main body to win.
But now, she had tasted kindness. She had taken her first step into the light. Only then did she realize with certainty that if she switched to kindness meta, she could still have fun under my rule.
How adorable. Even small changes like this were a good sign. I casually suggested she take the plunge and switch sides entirely.
“Hey, nobody rewards fence-sitters. If you’re going to bet, go all in.”
“I’ll decide after seeing what you do. Why would I gamble everything on an incomplete fool who hasn’t even reached Sublimation?”
“Aheet, shit⋯⋯! What do you want from me, you brat! 『Tickle Seizure』!”
“What the, heuhat, hell, is, thiiiis⋯⋯ Puhahahahat!!”
How dare she get on my nerves.
Leaving the laughing, flailing Evil God-chan behind, I returned to packing for our trip.
===============================================================
This time, I properly filed the Strategic Weapon Relocation Application.
Sublimation-level superhumans were required to submit the application to the Imperial Family a week in advance, specifying their intended destination and duration of stay. Until now, Yuna had simply been sneaking around.
This was the overwhelming advantage of Illusion Magic.
Tower Masters from the other towers—the Red Tower, the Blue Tower, or any other—would have no choice but to submit their paperwork, because their substitutes would get busted pretty quickly. But the Purple Tower? With just one use of ‘Illusion Magic’, everything was handled perfectly.
Of course, the Purple Tower was the most powerful in terms of utility magic.
This time, however, Yuna decided she wanted to play by the rules, get permission, and enjoy herself without any nagging worries. She wanted to make an official appearance, attend parties, and so on. So we submitted the paperwork.
When I mentioned it, Yuna’s face crumpled as if she were about to cry.
“Does that mean I have to wait an entire week⋯⋯?!”
“Of course not. We’re traveling together, so we’ll all leave at the same time.”
But Evil God-chan wasn’t on board.
“Hey, so we’re postponing the trip to Elmest Estate for a week?!”
“Obviously not. If we wait that long, that boy—or whatever—might disappear. So we all need to leave now.”
We decided to set off early, trusting the application would get approved later. Surely, Irid would take care of it, right?
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
“No, seriously. We’ve accomplished enough that they’ll probably just approve it. Just think about it.”
What were the achievements of our party?
As a result of the Purple Tower Master sneaking into the Academy, the Dark Wizards were wiped out, an insider was persuaded, and a new faction of the Church of the Goddess was established.
When the Purple Tower Master infiltrated Crownhall, she dismantled the drug distribution network under Duke Red Flavor, persuaded another insider, and then paved the way for the Magical Girl who now ensures the capital’s safety.
We even defeated『Virgin Who Drinks Pleasure』.
So, here’s what I think:
“If we just act like something urgent came up and leave early, they’ll assume we uncovered some Dark Wizard activity in the Holy City or something and cover for us. Easy!”
“Wow⋯⋯ you’re, uh, really something. Scammer.”
But come on. There was no chance of finding Dark Wizards in the Holy City—the headquarters of the Church of the Goddess. So we would enjoy ourselves, have our fun, and then leave saying, ‘ Oops, guess there wasn’t anything there~ ’.
“That said, we need an official identity for our dear Eternal Dark. Any ideas?”
“Didn’t we already decide she’d be the illegitimate child?”
“And who’s supposed to play the wife if I’m saddled with a kid?”
As soon as I said that, a small hand tugged on my sleeve.
“W-Well, since you made her with me, wouldn’t that make me your wife⋯⋯?”
Yuna mumbled shyly, looking up at me. Her rapid heartbeat was so loud, I felt like I could hear it.
Or maybe that sound came from me—maybe it was my own heart racing.
Then, someone grabbed my other sleeve. I turned and saw Yuri Lanster gazing out the window⋯⋯ pretending to do something else. She said nothing.
Normally, we would hold our hands and interlock our fingers. But now⋯⋯ sleeves, huh. Did this mean we were getting more close?
Watching all this, Evil God-chan made a face like she was about to throw up.
“Bullshit⋯⋯.”
“What, jealous? Should I set you up on a blind date? Since you’ve got ties with Namgung Cheonghwi as Hee Yeonghyeon, why not give it a shot?”
“How dare you bring up that young one!! There are lines you don’t cross! Say that again, and I’ll bite your crotch!”
“I dare you to try, you fucker!”
While Evil God-chan and I were growling at each other, a quiet voice came from the direction of Pink-Haired Lesbian.
“May I b⋯⋯.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯!!”
A dirty joke. She’s about to make one!
She was going to say, May I bite too. I turned to look at Pink-Haired Lesbian in excitement. Was she finally doing it? After so long?
“M⋯⋯.”
Her lips parted hesitantly. Maybe it was just me, but her ears seemed slightly red. Was she out of practice, or just shy? I silently encouraged her. You’ve got this, Pink-Haired Lesbian! Go for it!
Lewd jokes had always been our thing! A badge of our friendship! Weren’t they?
But recently, Pink-Haired Lesbian had gone quiet, so much that it made it awkward for me to even bring up such topics. Still⋯⋯ I dreamt of the day we would go to ogle at waitresses in short skirts.
“You can do it Pink-Haired Lesbian. I believe in you⋯⋯!”
“M⋯⋯ nothing.”
“Kuaaaack!”
My delicate heart shattered into pieces. So we weren’t that close after all? Not yet⋯⋯ or something⋯⋯ this was hard. Building this kind of friendship slowly was harder than I imagined.
Just as I was moping in disappointment, Yuna suddenly blurted out.
“C-Can I try biting it too?!”
“Tower Master, that’s not your character.”
“I can change too, right⋯⋯?!”
Her face was as red as a ripe tomato. Despite her embarrassment, she’d clearly gathered a lot of courage. Feeling touched, I hugged her and gave her lots of comfort.
“Thanks for cheering me up. You didn’t have to go that far. You’re adorable.”
“Aauu⋯⋯.”
And I quickly set her back down.
“⋯⋯?”
Yuna tilted her head with a question mark hovering above her head. She looked like a baby whose milk bottle had been snatched away after just one sip.
I wanted to hug her more, but…
Lately, I have been gradually loosening the grip on my emotional suppression mechanisms. That included not using the Sexual Desire Suppression Module. So, prolonged physical contact could lead to trouble.
I maintained a safe distance.
“⋯⋯Ah ah, Eung. I see⋯⋯ hehe.”
When I explained my reasoning, Yuna let out a relieved laugh with a relaxed face. I almost cast Sexual Desire Suppression Magic on myself.
After thirty minutes of discussion, we decided Evil God-chan’s official public identity would be that of my relative. Kind of like a cousin.
Even with the aggressive personality, it fit the role perfectly.
With that settled, I finalized our travel plan.
“Our first objective is to reach the Elmest Estate. After cleaning up Evil God-chan’s mess, we’ll head to Trumpethall in Holy City to enjoy the festival.”
“Sounds good. I’ll get changed into my travel outfit.”
“Outfit⋯⋯ should I try wearing a d- dress?”
“Wait, what about your lectures? Aren’t you still a professor?”
About that part. I had already arranged for a substitute to take over. While I enjoyed my life to the fullest, she would temporarily take over and teach the Academy students.
===============================================================
“Hello, Academy students! I’m Luce, and I’ve been studying at Purple Magic Tower for six years now⋯⋯ I might not be as skilled as your senior, but I’ve got lots of neat tricks to show you. Say hello, darling♥!”
-Greetings, students. For the next month, we’ll be teaching the 『Countermeasures to Illusion Magic』 course. Please don’t fall for my honey’s charm.
From the lectern, the substitute professor flaunted their sickeningly sweet relationship, eliciting groans from the students.
Among them, Selvier stammered in disbelief.
“⋯⋯That’s an illusion.”
“W-What do you mean, Selvier? What’s an illusion⋯⋯?”
“Third Prince. That, ‘My Darling’ is an Illusion.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯?!”
And so, as the Crazy Wizard and party departed on their journey, a special horror episode had begun in the Academy.
***
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