As soon as Yuna learned about Evil God-chan’s disappearance, she flailed like a child caught with a cheat sheet and began apologizing frantically.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry⋯⋯! I didn’t realize I hadn’t taken her with me—I was in such a hurry⋯⋯!!”
“No, this is on me. I was supposed to supervise⋯⋯ It’s my fault I didn’t notice until now. Still, it’s not too la⋯⋯ la⋯⋯ it is too late, but.”
“Euaang!”
Leaving her abandoned for two weeks would definitely be catastrophic.
Neither of us had been thinking clearly. We had already lost a week worrying over Yuri’s collapse, and after that, we had been running around trying to resolve Yuna’s I Hate You Shooting Incident .
Somehow, in the whirlwind of it all, Evil God-chan had just slipped through the cracks.
Although I had implemented several safety measures, Evil God-chan was still a fragment of a far more dangerous ‘thing’. For all I knew, she could have found some unimaginable way to bypass her restraints.
If that happened, we wouldn’t just have a little mishap on our hands. It would be Cthulhu Season 2—only this time, in the real world. I couldn’t let that happen. Declaring a state of emergency, I sat down on the magic circle in the Academy’s underground chamber.
Yes, it was the same emotion-amplification magic circle I had been using since the dawn of time.The first step was to pinpoint the location of the『Golden Headband』. By intensifying and releasing specific magical wavelengths from the Academy, I could create a signal that most objects would naturally disregard.
However, the signal would trigger an internal mechanism when it encountered the『Golden Headband』, forcing it to broadcast its current location and status. If Eternal Dark was still within the Empire’s borders, this would help us locate her.
If she had already crossed the border or discarded the『Golden Headband』 somewhere in the wilderness⋯⋯ that would mean I would have to go on an extended world tour to track her down and capture her.
I knew better than anyone how dangerous she—because her malice originated from the same source as mine. The most insidious aspect about that ‘ Thing’s’ malice was its unrelenting nature.
It didn’t follow a cycle of committing evil, feeling satisfaction, and then resting. Even if it could feel some twisted form of joy, it lacked any sense of fulfillment. It was just ceaseless hunger, always demanding more and more⋯⋯ spreading malevolence endlessly.
It was like a virus designed solely to commit atrocities.
Since her existence stemmed from me, the burden of responsibility was mine as well. I had to catch her.
Yuna, overwhelmed with guilt, eagerly joined the search despite being so remorseful.
“I’ll amplify the signal as soon as you give the word!”
“Okay, I’ll count to three. One, three.”
“Euet, eet! Don’t mess up the count⋯⋯!!”
────!!
A sound resonated—not one heard through the ears but felt through the skin. Like ripples spreading across a still lake, the magical wavelength expanded outward from the Academy. The spell had been successfully activated.
The question now was whether the『Golden Headband』 would respond.
We waited anxiously for thirty minutes. If two hours passed without a response, it would mean she had crossed the border. I tapped my foot impatiently, stopping Yuna from biting her nails out of nervousness.
Then, finally, a response came. Both Yuna and I leapt to our feet and rushed toward the magic circle.
“Analyze! Analyze!”
“Should I check the location first, or the status?!”
“Check the status! I’ll handle the location!”
While Yuna fed the encrypted data into an analyzer, I mentally brute-forced my way through it. The outcome was unexpected.
“⋯⋯? What the—why is this brat heading back to the Academy?”
Her movement pattern was odd. Instead of lingering in populated areas to wreak havoc, she had been cutting through forests to return directly here.
She had made a brief stop at the Holy City, but her stay there was absurdly short. Why didn’t she run away? What could this mean?
No, there was no way she was returning so peacefully. There was definitely something more to this.
I crossed my arms and scrutinized the monitor. While I was thinking about how to interpret this, Yuna approached and asked.
“Hey, what’s this ‘good sticker’ parameter? It says 2⋯⋯.”
“That went up? That counter only increases if she does something… good.”
“Her⋯⋯?!”
What.
That couldn’t be right. I mean, sure, I had embedded a conscience into Evil God-chan’s core, but I never expected it to actually work even by a slight chance. I hadn’t even started the Kindness Corruption Plan yet.
“Could it be less dangerous than we thought? The dragon scale at 『Nest』seems to indicate Eternal Dark’s help. Although she might not be entirely redeemed, perhaps she’s changed a little.”
When Safety-Violating Pink-Haired Lesbian said this, both I and the Tower Master immediately fired back with rebuttals as if triggered.
“Yuri, its because you don’t know about that ‘thing’⋯⋯!! I’m telling you, she’s evil incarnate, straight from the beginning! Back then, when I just wanted a decent TRPG session, she sabotaged everything, pulling stunts with Niolle and Tara⋯⋯!”
“Pink-Haired Lesbian, you absolute fool! Why would you lower your guard? Don’t you realize how evil she is?! You’ll get stabbed in the back and die! You gotta be careful!”
“If you were tortured with 3000 Times Sensitivity, I think anyone would reflect on their past actions.”
“No, no, you’re wrong! Tower Master, we need to fortify our defenses immediately! We have to install at least four magic cannons and set traps that will annihilate any army she brings!”
Yuna and I transformed the lab into a fortress. We installed barricades, deadly traps, and informational bombs. We stockpiled everything. We even bought and wore sturdy armor.
We checked her location regularly and confirmed that Evil God-chan was indeed heading straight for the Academy.
By early morning, after nearly completing the lab’s fortifications.
I detected『Golden Headband』 approaching. She was close. Three⋯⋯ individuals were detected in total. Even if she had only brought two companions, we couldn’t afford to relax. And then──
Thud.
The moment the door opened, I triggered the trap without hesitation.
“You sons of the bitches, y’all lived just fine without me unti── ahpupup.”
“How do you like that, Espoir de Eternal Dark! This is my special sticky fluid, designed to capture you! Surrender now!”
“Give up! Give up and surrender!”
“Huff! You crazy bastards—I come back peacefully, and you pull this shit!!”
Phase 1 of suppression was a success. The target was temporarily neutralized. The fluid was inspired by the Queen’s stomach acid, so it had the effect of dissolving the target’s information.
Evil God-chan’s dress began to disintegrate. Since it wasn’t real but a manifestation of information, it was proof the fluid was working.
But we couldn’t afford to be complacent. Just as I prepared to proceed to Phase 2—beating her into submission with an information-baton.
I locked eyes with two onlookers standing outside the lab who were looking at me and Tower Master. Senior Scarface and Beauty Mark Guy.
Their gazes shifted⋯⋯ from me, to the baton in my hand.
Then to Evil God-chan, sprawled on the floor, entangled in the sticky fluid.
Their expressions were… filled with disgust, as if they were staring at human garbage.
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
“No.”
It was all a misunderstanding. I wasn’t sure what they thought was happening, but it definitely wasn’t that. I was justice and Evil God-chan was the villain. What I was doing was the right thing!
“⋯⋯So this is why she hated Esteemed Junior. I’m disappointed, Esteemed Junior. I don’t know the full context, but regardless of the circumstances, treating your child like this is…”
“Step back, Crazy Wizard. She is still my client. The quest isn’t complete yet, so if you harm her further, I will act to protect her.”
Child? What child?
Okay, technically, it wasn’t wrong, but no ! That wasn’t what this was! I wasn’t the type of person to rip apart their child’s clothes and beat them with a stick! It was all a misunderstanding!
I was just trying to save the world by sealing away an evil entity bent on plunging the world into chaos!
“I, I was doing it for justice⋯⋯!! Tower Master, please, say something.”
Ppyororong.
Yuna had already turned into a butterfly and fluttered off.
I lowered my gaze to Evil God-chan with trembling eyes. Our gazes locked, and I could see seething anger in her eyes.
Through a series of blinks in Morse code, she sent me a private message only I could decipher.
-How dare you forget about me? After I fought so hard against the Queen and helped those people affected by the Succubi, you dare to forget? And now, when I return peacefully, this is how you welcome me?
“I-I am⋯⋯.”
-You’re dead.
“In my defense, you have a record of doing⋯⋯!!”
Was this really just a misunderstanding? Had Espoir de Eternal Dark actually turned over a new leaf?
What was she planning? No, let’s not get scared. Evil God-chan was powerless here. I still controlled the『Golden Headband』, and I would win if we fought. What could she possibly⋯⋯
“Heuk. hicc⋯⋯ heuuck.’
What was that sound?
The saddest, most heart-wrenching sobs filled the air. Tears welled in Evil God-chan’s eyes, spilling down her cheeks. I felt my reputation shattering into pieces.
I needed to stop this. But how?
“Heuk, I-I just wanted to be praised by my d-dad, euk, kkeug⋯⋯.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
“I’m s-sorry, Dad. Don’t hit me⋯⋯ sniff, I’ll stop, crying, don’t do thaaat⋯⋯! Please, I’ll even lick your boots if you want, just⋯⋯!”
It was a devastating attack I couldn’t defend against.
That stare hurt.
Senior Scarface’s⋯⋯ that-that gaze. A glare filled with utter revulsion, as though I was the lowest form of scum on Earth. It pierced me over and over.
“⋯⋯Trash.”
Ah.
Today, I socially died.
===============================================================
That day, I agreed to become Evil God-chan’s chair. She climbed onto my back as I lay face down, her expression brimming with uncontainable joy and excitement.
Having spent her life as the one receiving the hits, she seemed to be overwhelmed by the rush of dopamine from finally being in control.
“It’s just a joke. Don’t take it too seriously, Lorei and Rowillen. This is how we usually mess around, so there’s no need to worry. Right, Dad? Answer me.”
“Yes. Eternal Dark-sama.”
“Good boy.”
Evil God-chan patted my butt as if rewarding a pet. Despite the humiliation, I had no choice but to swallow my frustration and rage.
If I impulsively fired the 3,000 Times Sensitivity Beam in retaliation, it would cement Senior Scarface’s misconceptions about me forever. This wasn’t the time to act rashly.
I⋯⋯ was a bit sorry too. I didn’t know she would work that hard.
I cautiously asked.
“Hey, Eternal Dark-sama, about that misunderstanding about you being my illegitimate child, could I maybe clear things up by explaining that you’re actually my familiar⋯⋯.”
“Dad, do you hate me that much? So much that you want to disown me?”
“Fuck⋯⋯.”
“Uh-uh, tsk. Language.”
Evil God-chan smacked me lightly on my butt again. This brat⋯⋯!
But the more I endured her antics, the sooner the misunderstandings would fade. For now, I had no choice but to bear it.
Ack!!
Sweating under the weight of karmic retribution, I noticed that Senior Scarface and Beauty Mark Guy seemed to relax a little. The disgust in their eyes had faded, leaving behind only faint traces of skepticism.
“I always believed in you, Esteemed Junior.”
“You weren’t believing in me, Senior.”
“How could I in that situation? I walked in and saw someone tearing clothes apart and looking ready to start swinging a club as I opened the door.”
“So, that was because⋯⋯ god damn it.”
Actually, she was a fragment of a terrifying entity residing in my head—a creature composed more of data than matter, an information-lifeform. Apparently, during her prime, she had wrought havoc across the world, leaving countless dead in her wake.
According to Yuna, acknowledging or validating her existence too much could make her dangerous, so it was best not to talk about her. You understand, right?
I couldn’t tell her all of that though.
I will… I will deal with you after the guests are gone.
“Thanks. Rowillen, Do you need any extra pay? I can squeeze some cash out of Dad right now.”
“No need. Uh⋯⋯ are you really okay? If this isn’t a joke and you’re in danger, you can tell me.”
“I’m fine. Lorei, thanks to you too. I got back to the Academy pretty quickly thanks to you.”
“I was just doing the job I was paid for. No need to thank me. The incident at the inn was fun.”
The three people exchanged a simple goodbye. Evil God-chan waved them off with complete indifference, and they marked the quest as completed before leaving the Academy.
In the now-empty laboratory, with 7% still on top of me, I muttered almost to myself.
“Sry.”
“Say it properly.”
“I’m sorry.”
“⋯⋯You actually said it?”
Evil God-chan’s voice sounded genuinely surprised but⋯⋯.
Still⋯⋯ effort deserved recognition. Good deeds warranted a reward. If she had worked hard, I couldn’t just dismiss it outright. That’s a rule I had to uphold.
So, I had to apologize. Sure, I had disciplined her for a reason, and I didn’t regret that. I’d still stop her from doing anything evil in the future.
But for now, I would need to give her a “good job” sticker, wouldn’t I?
===============================================================
Evil God-chan sat on the chair, her head tilted slightly downward. Her long hair cascaded on either side, exposing the delicate curve of her neck. Around her neck, there was the『Golden Headband』.
I connected to the『Golden Headband』 to read through its stored data. It contained a detailed log of her actions, emotions, and experiences.
I skimmed through it.
The moment she felt betrayed when she was abandoned.
The time she gave that boy a hard time.
The instances she spread gossip about me.
The day she rescued the waitress at the inn.
And I⋯⋯ realized something surprising: her consciousness was far younger than I had expected.
That ‘thing’ she originated from was ancient, likely over a century old. Because of this, I had assumed Evil God-chan, as a fragment of that ‘thing’, would have a similar level of maturity and malevolence.
But whether it was due to the separation process, the corrupted data I had dumped into her, or some other inexplicable factor…
I don’t know the reason, but she wasn’t as mentally hardened as I’d thought.
At her current stage, she could still be influenced. Education and guidance could shape her. Even individuals with psychopathic tendencies could lead normal lives with the right upbringing.
I had assumed her malice was unchanging, which was why I had disciplined her so harshly. But if there was a chance she could change…
Then.
Maybe she deserved a chance too.
“You know, Crazy Wizard.”
Evil God-chan’s voice emerged softly from behind her dark, violet-tinted hair.
“What?”
I responded gruffly. I knew that she would exploit any sign of weakness in my tone.
She hesitated briefly before speaking.
“Did you know? Somewhere out there, there’s a boy dying because of my schemes.”
“⋯⋯Hm?”
“This 『Golden Headband』 is full of loopholes. You idiot. I exploited a security flaw to trick some fool from the Elmest Estate. I swindled a ton of money for my living expenses!”
“Aha, is that so?”
Evil God-chan launched into a story about a deal she had made with a boy, throwing in exaggerated boasts about how evil she was.
It looked like she was trying to deny any good intentions behind her actions. Her words kept getting increasingly convoluted as she struggled to hide her embarrassment.
A good Samaritan, huh?
Her behavior was clearly in a gray zone, but…
But her actions were undeniably kind. She had seen someone in trouble and called 911—so to speak. She could’ve just walked away.
Pure selflessness is noble, yes, but also tragic. I valued the kind of kindness that came naturally, within the bounds of one’s capacity.
So⋯⋯ in any case, this was a good sign.
“Oh, our sweet little demon spawn, you’re finally learning to be human!”
“Heuyat──?!”
I hugged Evil God-chan tightly and ruffled her hair aggressively. She flailed and protested loudly, but based on the data from the『Golden Headband』, she kind of liked it.
Even Evil God-chan could be won over by compliments!
“Stop!”
“Ack!” In the end, she bit down on my hand, hard, her embarrassment and irritation reaching their peak.
***
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