Cheongwol kept walking forward.
She didn't want to leave Han Seojin's side, but her flowing tears were too humiliating.
She wanted to hide her shameful, ugly appearance.
No, perhaps she wanted to pull away just a little.
She hoped that by leaving, he would realize how angry she was.
It was his fault from the start.
It wasn't a feeling she could calculate with her head.
If she divided it up precisely, it might turn out she was the one truly at fault.
But she didn't want to think that way.
I'm sincere, but you're not.
I want to be friends with you, but you're pushing me away.
Fine, then I'll leave.
"Go back to Emei Mountain first. I'll handle things myself."
Cheongwol said.
From the start, while he wasn't by her side, she had felt something.
Perhaps she was born with the fate of having to kill people?
Without Han Seojin, killing people felt far too easy for her.
That's how broken she was, so maybe even Han Seojin was instinctively pushing her away.
...Even so.
Even so, she thought she could endure it if Han Seojin was there.
That regret made her tears flow even more.
Enough.
Don't think about it.
She wanted to argue, but her logic fell short.
She wanted to get angry, but she couldn't.
She wished he would hold her back, but she knew he wouldn't.
Cheongwol took a deep, heavy breath.
Like a child who had cried for a long time, her breathing trembled as she inhaled.
"...Hoo... Hooo..."
Finally exhaling that deep breath, she said her farewell.
"See you later, Own—"
"Kyaa!"
At that moment, Cheongwol's body floated up into the air.
When she came to her senses, Han Seojin had her slung over his shoulder like he was kidnapping her.
Cheongwol was startled, but her pride remained unbroken.
She continued her tantrum even more fiercely at his actions.
She flailed her arms and legs, hitting him.
"Let me down!! Where are you taking me!! I don't want to!!"
"Stay still."
She even grabbed his hair and shook it. Something that would never normally be allowed.
"I said let me go!"
"...Ow ow..."
The moment he groaned, Cheongwol was startled and let go.
Even so, she quickly resumed her struggling.
"Let me down right now! The owner hates the sight of me most right now!!"
But the more he refused to let her go, the more wildly her tears flowed.
Her feelings of resentment amplified twofold.
"You always...! You always hate just me!! You always tell me not to come see you!! But you meet other people just fine!! Did you think I wouldn't notice?!"
"...I knew. I'm sorry."
His apology only made Cheongwol's tears flow more.
"Don't lie! You're not even sorry!! You're just trying to brush it off with words again! Nothing's going to change anyway!!"
Han Seojin, with her over his shoulder, started walking and whistled back without turning.
At that, the donkey started following him on its own.
"Let me down! I said put me down!!"
Cheongwol kept struggling.
She hated it. But she didn't hate it.
It was a moment where complex emotions coexisted, just like when they played around together.
"Be quiet."
Han Seojin no longer listened to her words.
He just silently kept walking.
****
I threw Cheongwol into a nearby stream I had spotted.
She immediately shook her head and surfaced.
Red blood washed away in the clear water.
I jumped into the stream as well.
Just the donkey.
I had to leave the donkey behind.
Cheongwol's resentment, surprisingly, stemmed from the distance between us.
Her vibe was that she was sincere, so why wasn't I?
It made sense.
I thought as I walked.
I was looking at Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol, but to her, she was Thousand-Year Flower Cheongwol.
Of course, she was already killing people, but it felt like she hadn't done anything to deserve this level of dislike from me.
...And thinking that way, I realized I had been at fault too.
That future hadn't happened yet, but I had judged her based on it already.
Right now, Cheongwol had every right to feel wronged.
I stripped off my upper garments first.
"...Eek."
Cheongwol averted her eyes and turned her head.
Embarrassing, like a strip show.
I didn't expect her to be happy seeing my body.
The problem was that Dang Soran had seen it.
If the distance issue flared up again later and Dang Soran teased Cheongwol about seeing my body, it would be a disaster.
...Damn! What the hell am I doing...!
But we had to wash anyway.
It was just a mindset of doing it together.
"Why, Wol-ah."
"..."
"The issue is distance, right? People build bonds while washing their bodies."
As the blood was swept away by the stream, the violent atmosphere between us faded too.
Talking while covered in blood had been too brutal from the start. At least it cleared away that gloomy mood.
"..."
"..."
Even so, Cheongwol didn't move.
She kept her head turned, arms clasped over her chest, covering it.
Her face mixed anger and shame.
The textbook picture of being sulky.
"...Come here."
In the end, I gave a command.
It wasn't SM, but it was that kind of order.
"...Come here, Wol-ah."
Cheongwol blinked very slowly.
Her face full of dissatisfaction.
But then, she slowly started walking toward me.
"...Pervert. Dirty guy. In the end, you just wanted to see my body."
"That's not it."
"I hate this moment right now. I hate it so much. I hate you so much right now, Owner. It's been 47 days since we met. What is this?"
As Cheongwol came halfway to me, I went halfway to her.
Then, I gently pressed down on her shoulders.
Cheongwol glanced at me cautiously but slowly lowered her posture.
Only after she knelt did I sit down in front of her.
"...First, let's wipe off the blood."
I started scooping water to clean her face.
Wiping away the hardened blood.
Normally, in SM couples, after intense play, the sadist cares for the masochist.
Sometimes with kind words, sometimes massaging the body, sometimes cleaning it.
This wasn't exactly that situation, but I cleaned her diligently with a service mindset.
Sharp eyes that fluttered when touched.
Cherry lips that yielded to pressure.
Smooth, pretty forehead.
Soft cheeks begging to be pinched.
Delicate ears that needed careful cleaning.
Silk-like flowing hair.
Slender neck that made one want to plead with it.
I cleaned them all one by one, as if they were my toys.
Things she could do herself, but I did them all for her.
And with each touch, Cheongwol's expression gradually softened.
The angry look faded, but the resentful one deepened.
She started sobbing again, sniffling.
"Like I said, nothing changes like this. It'll be the same. You still hate me."
"What's making you so upset?"
Cheongwol sobbed even louder at that.
"Sniff... You didn't even get my gift...!"
I pondered for a moment, then accommodated her complaint.
Restoring trust.
"That hairpin, I actually received it. It was expensive... but it didn't have my personal touch. I'll make your gift myself. That would be better, right?"
Cheongwol looked at me as if questioning if it was true.
I nodded.
I kept wiping her face, and in the meantime, Cheongwol's body drew even closer to me.
"...And you'll still have Dang Soran's scent on you. I can't do anything about that... but I'm your friend... I hate that..."
"If there's a way to handle it, I'll look into—"
"—Take my energy too."
"...Huh?"
"Learn Emei's internal energy cultivation method. That'll settle it."
"...Isn't that only for nuns?"
"There are versions men can learn."
"...Okay, then."
Cheongwol's body came even closer.
Her face drew nearer.
For a moment, even in this situation, I thought she was pretty.
"And get rid of the 10-day limit. Why push only me away? I should be the closest to you..."
I no longer had reason to keep that promise.
I nodded to this as well.
I might regret this moment when I woke up tomorrow.
Even so, it felt like this was the only way right now.
Cheongwol's crying kept bothering me.
"...Really?"
"Yeah."
"From now on, even if it's not 10 days, I can come to you?"
"I said yes."
The sniffling Cheongwol... glanced at me, then leaned into my arms.
"..."
There was no time to stop her. Nor the atmosphere for it.
I couldn't suddenly push her away while consoling her.
The moment she leaned against me, she sobbed again.
That voice flowed straight into my ear.
"Sniff... Hic..."
Like pouring out all her pent-up resentment, she kept crying.
After crying for a while, she slowly calmed down.
During that time, I had been cleaning her hair and neck.
"...Punish Dang Soran too. She did something bad. Ah, no... Just don't meet her."
"What do you want me to do?"
"...When you meet her later, ignore her like you did to me in the basement that time."
"...Ghost her?"
"Ghost her? Whatever, do that."
"Got it."
Whatever it was, I planned to pay her back anyway.
"...And don't make a girlfriend. Until my heart demon is gone."
Cheongwol whispered.
"Talk sense."
I drew a line there too.
Cheongwol looked annoyed but didn't press further.
Before long, she rested her head on my shoulder.
"Finally..."
"Yeah."
"...Stop pushing me away, Owner."
She whispered in her most serious voice.
With emotions underlying it that I couldn't even fathom.
It felt like my heart stopped.
Because I had been pushing her away.
Unable to bear that weight, I tried to lighten the mood with a joke.
"...Stop clinging. I can't stand clingy girls."
Cheongwol didn't take it.
"I'm not joking. Stop pushing me away. ...You're my only friend. It hurts so much when you, of all people, push me away."
"..."
"What did I do wrong to deserve this?"
At her final words, all the things she had already shown me.
And the countless situations she might show in the future flashed through my mind.
The fall of the Holy City.
The battle in Zhongjing.
The Mount Hua Sect massacre, and Shaanxi's end.
Shaolin Temple's abbot assassination.
Countless main and side characters meeting their end at her hands. Countless innocent citizens.
Sons and fathers. Daughters and mothers. Boys and girls. Children and elders.
"Don't dodge. You're pushing me away like it's a habit."
Countless lives that would be trampled by her loomed before my eyes.
I could see the heavy karma she would accumulate.
I could almost hear the horrific screams and cries she would draw from people.
I could see Cheongwol standing unmoved before it all.
"...Huh? Owner, what did I do wrong—"
"—I hate you for killing people."
I blurted it out without thinking.
It was my unfiltered true feelings.
"..."
"..."
Cheongwol froze.
So did I.
A heavy silence flowed between us.
I realized my mistake too late and moved to fix it.
"...No, of course I'm grateful for today—"
But before I could finish, she grabbed my hand.
"...Then, if I don't kill people, will you stop pushing me away?"
"..."
Was that even possible?
It shook the foundation of my beliefs.
Could I make Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol escape the Seven Heavens because of me?
Did I have that much influence?
"..."
Was Cheongwol just saying it, or was she sincere?
I couldn't imagine a future where she didn't become Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol.
Just moments ago, hadn't she brutally dismembered people?
Yet, the Cheongwol before my eyes felt so vivid.
The emotions she showed were so transparent.
Her warmth was gentle, her tears cold.
This was her, here.
Not the one in the novel.
The novel's her was calm even before screams.
But the Cheongwol before me cried like this.
"...If you don't kill."
I promised her sincerely.
Probably one of the rare moments I wasn't acting in front of her.
If she could remain Nun Cheongwol, not Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol...
"Yeah. Then I won't push you away anymore."