Episode 89: Partner (9)
[Depth: 550.24 m]
Yeorum did not want to appear childish.
What happened before was because she had been too emotional – she wasn’t in the right state of mind back then. So she had to stop acting like a child now but…
It wasn’t her intention to tightly grip onto Yu Jitae’s hand. Her hand was doing so on its own accord.
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[Depth: 600.24 m]
The surroundings became narrower.
Water molecules intertwining as hooks physically blocked light and began to block mana on top of that as they drew deeper in. And as the walls of darkness closed in, the visibility that had been 5 metres before was now as little as 2 metres.
His will was conveyed over the touching hands.
‘Do not kick your legs too much now.’
‘We are in the flow. The current will bring us down there on its own.’
‘No need to get anxious.’
That was what his message roughly meant.
He must have felt her anxiety through the touch. Maybe she should let go of his hand…
Why are you holding my hand so tightly?
Oh my, do you like my hand that much?
…For her to say that, it was obvious that she was the one holding tightly onto his hand.
The reason was simple. The dense condensation of water-attributed mana made her body chilly as if she was buried in snow naked, and Yu Jitae’s hand was the only source of warmth. It was like touching a warmer in winter and it was thus hard to let go.
…What a joke.
Make up a better excuse next time.
Coward bitch.
Although she didn’t want to admit it, she knew the truth. The anxiety was making it impossible for her to let go of his hand.
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[Depth: 648.99 m]
The visibility was now only 1 metre.
Walls of darkness nearing in from all sides enveloped her. Yeorum felt her heart thumping loud and clear, and felt as if the surroundings would suddenly devour her.
Ahh, I want to leave… wasn’t it around here that I felt the same thing last time?
It was then. Her body suddenly craved for air. Her diaphragm spasmed but she couldn’t crouch her body, so she closed her eyes and used her other hand to block her mouth and nose.
It was cold and excruciating. Her body shivered.
Guess what I’ll do when I go back?
I’m never turning the lights off again at night…
It was around this point that a portion of Yu Jitae’s upper body was devoured by the darkness, no longer visible. But his will was occasionally transmitted over the clasped hands. Are you alright? Is it hard? Are you using your mana well? He showed concern for her.
Yu Jitae wouldn’t be able to see it no matter what expression she made now, so she drew a circle at the back of his hand with her thumb.
How could Yu Jitae be so fine…?
I can tell it’s cold for him as well though?
I can also feel his heart being stifled and his diaphragm contracting .
So why isn’t he in pain?
Why are you pretending to be tough…
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[Depth: 700 m]
A visibility of around 50 centimetres. It was here that Yeorum had given up before.
A lot of things were devoured by the darkness. Looking down, she couldn’t even see her legs and over half of Yu Jitae’s body was also unable to be seen.
Yeorum gulped. Fortunately, she could still hear the sound happening inside her body despite the surrounding silence. She pointlessly tapped her teeth one by one with her tongue.
It didn’t feel good.
She closed her eyes. It felt better to close her eyes instead of staring at the gradually approaching darkness.
Countless memories resurfaced when she closed her eyes. Memories of her meal; memories of harassing Yu Kaeul; memories of the first time she read a shoujo manga… Yeorum continued her trail of thought and let it go its own way as a temporary relief from the frustration.
Out of nowhere, memories of her youth also resurfaced.
There was a time when Yeorum was as small as Gyeoul. Back then, she was with other hatchlings.
The mother that was supposed to feed them was enjoying herself playing with the father, while the father had no interest in weak individuals. Therefore, it was always her youngest unni that found food for her.
‘Hey. Eat this.’
But ever since Yeorum was a baby, both her dragon form and her human form were small and skinny. She wasn’t an experienced eater and had trouble putting food into her mouth.
Her youngest unni berated her whenever that happened.
‘Ahh so annoying. Just eat it.’
‘How come you can’t even freaking eat properly?’
She was admonished everyday, during every meal. Yeorum endured all of it but one day, she became so upset that she threw the food on the ground but was then bashed by her youngest unni as if there was no tomorrow.
Until then, it was her youngest unni that protected her whenever other sisters were about to hit her and it was the first time Yeorum was hit by her youngest unni. She felt betrayed and sorrowfully complained.
I’m still a baby.
I don’t feel like eating. My mouth is small and I can’t swallow a lot.
Weren’t you the same when you were my age?
But after hearing what she said, her youngest unni made a scary face, and grabbed her by the hair to bring to an isolated cave. She pushed her into that dark place, forced her mouth open and shoved a bunch of food into her mouth.
At the same time, she said to her.
Do you want to stay a punching bag after 10 years?
Spend a 100 years as a punching bag?
No-one’s gonna wait for you to get bigger.
No-one in the world gives a damn about you being born late like a retard.
Do not talk back to me ever again.
Eat everything you’re given and make that peanut body of yours bigger.
If you don’t wanna die.
Yeorum felt sad back then but later realised that she had said all that for her sake and the two of them continued having a good relationship. And after that, Yeorum started to eat more.
It was just that kind of a memory.
Nothing much; just a random memory…
Meanwhile, Yu Jitae was still holding onto her hand. She wondered, what was he thinking about…?
The faint emotions that she sometimes felt were all those of frustration and suffering.
He did not feel fear.
He was not in a fluster.
Thus, Yeorum was able to relax herself yet again, reminding herself that since Yu Jitae can do it, she can do it as well.
There was no need to be scared…
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[Depth: 804.02 m]
Visibility: 10 centimetres.
Her body was buried in darkness and it was suffocating both literally and emotionally.
She lowered her head, but couldn’t see her chest so she raised her other hand and touched it. Fortunately, it was still there.
All her other limbs were all still there. In the process of checking her body, she touched the wound on her lower stomach and it gave her relief.
The pain made her realise that she was still alive…
With her arm stretched out, she could not see her own hand let alone Yu Jitae’s hand so she pulled his hand all the way until it was right in front of her eyes.
She hoped this would stay visible.
But after going deeper by another 50 metres, even his hand that was right before her eyes began to be eroded by darkness.
Gradually yet endlessly.
That frightened her so much that she had to twitch her fingers and fortunately, Yu Jitae twitched back in response. If she didn’t even have that, Yeorum might have escaped already from the frustration.
Following that, another memory resurfaced.
And Yeorum buried herself in that memory.
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[@tph: 90$.%&]
Unable to handle the pressure, the artifact eventually began to malfunction.
Approximately 900 metres in depth, thought Yeorum.
How long has it been since she came in here?
It took about 10 minutes to travel 50 metres, so it was probably about 180 minutes so far…
Until now, Yeorum had already gone through approximately 20 or so of memories that had left her with a strong impression among the 15 years of her life leading up to the Amusement. Short ones were a few hours long while longer ones were about a day long.
Therefore, she thought it had at least been a week since she came in.
It was at least thanks to Yu Jitae’s hand that she had a slightly better touch at reality. Last time, she thought it had been 2 weeks despite only being 700 metres deep.
And she was able to tolerate this thanks to the experience she had gone through and when it was her first time doing it without any prior knowledge, she was really close to dying. However, that didn’t mean that it wasn’t painful to put up with this training. Yeorum was pained by this unending stress.
Darkness had long devoured the world. There was nothing to be seen, and no sounds to be heard.
She tried blowing her lips,
But heard nothing.
It was the same even when she slapped herself on her cheek. Her head turned but there was no sound from it.
With both seeing and hearing gone, it was only the sense of touch that remained with her.
Everything in the world disappeared, leaving behind only herself and Yu Jitae’s hand.
Pain, exhaustion, temperature, frustration. These continued pushing her mind into a corner. Whenever she woke up from her reminiscence, Yeorum felt an explosive urge to suddenly run away.
Her mind wasn’t stable. Her body trembled and her heart furiously thumped.
Whenever that happened, she grabbed even tighter onto Yu Jitae’s hand. That was the last measure Yeorum could resort to, in order to not escape from it.
Something similar happened again.
By the time she realised it, she was pressing her sharp nails into the back of Yu Jitae’s hand.
Ah, fuck.
Sorry…
She thought to herself that continuing like this wouldn’t work and decided to think of every reason why she shouldn’t run away.
1. Because she had to become stronger.
2. Because there were words she had yet to convey.
3. Because she had to be happy.
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14. I want to go to Las Vegas again.
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52. Because I have to fill 3 carriages with handsome and fit men to play with.
53. Because that’s what youngest unni wanted to do.
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127. Live long and gamble for as long as possible.
…
Like that, she scraped up whatever she could and came up with 900 reasons.
The artifact showed a 4 digit number before becoming completely useless.
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Depth, probably 1200 metres or deeper.
Yeorum thought to herself.
Why.
Why wasn’t this ending.
Why, why, why…
Why is it still going?
Ah, fuck.
I’m about to go crazy.
I’m dying here…
Yu Jitae.
Are you there?
Are you alive and well…?
She moved her fingers and he responded. It was fortunate that her sense of touch was at least still there.
But damn, why aren’t you sending anything these days?
Say something to me.
Nn?
I’m about to die here…
Yeorum raised her nails and scratched the back of his hand.
And was shocked.
The back of Yu Jitae’s hand was full of deep wounds. It seemed that she had unconsciously raised her nails during her mindless wonders.
Ah…
Yeorum caressed the back of his hand with her finger. She felt extremely sorry.
It was thanks to this that she was able to endure it for so long and yet it must have hurt for him.
What if he let go? She suddenly became anxious.
But there’s no way that Yu Jitae would let go of her hand right?
Why?
Because it’s Yu Jitae…
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It was after a long time that Yeorum regained her consciousness. It was because an unbelievable emotion was conveyed from Yu Jitae’s hand.
He was in a fluster just then.
Why?
What is it?
What is wrong?
Immediately after that, the mental connection she had with him was cut.
Yeorum was startled. She added more power to her hand, wondering if there was a problem with her sense of touch now.
But no, it was fine. She could still touch his hand, and moving her other hand she touched Yu Jitae’s wrist.
She could still touch his wrist as well.
Nothing’s wrong right…?
But why is he suddenly like this…?
Why…?
What’s going on…?
…
What’s happening…?
…
Meanwhile, his hand trembled.
Wait, is it his hand that’s trembling? Or is it his skin, or his bone?
Ehng? Why is he trembling though? There’s no way he’s scared or anything so…
Amidst her confusion, a foreign texture was felt over her fingers. Thick fingers – the coarse callus, his joints and his fingers scraped past her hand.
After that, his hand softly slithered away.
Yu Jitae –
He let go of her hand.
Huh?
Huh……?
Yeorum couldn’t believe what was happening.
What happened just then?
Huh?
Why is my hand so cold…?
Nnn…?
Uh? Huh? Am I dreaming?
She reached her arm out. Nothing met her hand.
She reached for a different place but yet again, her arm grazed past nothing.
Stuck in darkness, with absolutely nothing to be touched. The moment she realised that, Yeorum felt stifled.
Darkness was devouring her.
No, right?
It’s a mistake right?
You didn’t intentionally let go, did you?
Yeorum desperately worked her brain.
Although he wasn’t scared or frightened, Yu Jitae was also in pain. From time to time, bombs of pain also made it through over his hand, which was probably from a diaphragm spasm.
Yu Jitae was also in pain.
It’s not just me.
Ah.
Fuck, alright.
I was way too reliant.
I was whining about him acting like a teacher and yet here I am treating him like a teacher.
Let’s not be overly dependent.
We’re this deep already.
There is a current anyway.
I’m going down without having to do anything right?
Since our physical conditions should be the same, he should be around 3 metres away from me no matter how far he is.
You’re there aren’t you?
I know. About 3 metres in front of me. Around there, ey?
Letting go – it’s to make the training harder for me right?
I’m sure he must be regretting it after letting go as well.
Holding my hand was probably a relief for him too.
I know, I know.
…Right?
Yes. It’s all part of the training.
I trust him.
I only have to withstand it.
…
But you know…
If you were going to let go,
Couldn’t you have given me a signal at least…?
No, no no no. Let’s not think about that. It’s fine.
…But,
It’s not that hard to give a sign…
If you at least undid your fingers one by one…
…Or if you told me from the start that you were going to let go.
I would have prepared myself then…
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Why…
Why did you let go?
Nn?
Why did you let go of my hand?
Nnn? Why did you do that?
I thought we were partners…
Are you abandoning me…?