Chapter 190: I don’t want to lose
Aizel’s one-sided questioning continued after she regained her composure.
How did I manage to slip through the Demonic Rift so quickly, how and when did I realize she was a regressor, and so on, all of which were difficult questions to answer.
Most of all, the question of what happened to the curse was one that I was deeply troubled by and eventually she came to the conclusion that it was the tears of the dead.
Of course, I couldn’t just say, “You must be mistaken.”
I struggled to explain myself, but my vague answer didn’t stop her from pursuing me.
She just wrapped her arms around my waist and conveyed that she didn’t want to let go anymore.
For the moment, it felt good and so Aizel continued to talk in my arms.
“…I asked him if it was the first time we met, and do you know what he said?”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘It’s an entrance ceremony, it’s natural for everyone to be new… Hmph… Well, I laughed because he wasn’t wrong… Zetto came to me like that, like a meteor that suddenly fell from the sky… This is where we saw the fireworks last time, remember?”
“I remember. You said it was your favorite place.”
“Well, it’s been a while since I’ve been there, because it’s kind of lonely to go alone.”
“Well, maybe we should go together next time. It’s quieter there, which is nice for me.”
“Together… Just the two of us, like last time?”
I nodded at her question.
“…Yeah, okay.”
Aizel was telling me a story.
As if I should remember.
As if she wanted me to remember.
“Again… again… again…”
Memories from the previous installment that I don’t remember.
“…Zetto said he liked the scent of the Orbison back then, too, and I thought that was really interesting…It made me realize that you hadn’t changed, that you were still Zetto.”
I listened quietly and filed away the memories as she recounted them.
It seems like a lot has happened.
Maybe I was a little closer to Aizel than I was in this episode and her behavior was different this time, probably because she didn’t feel the same way last time.
When she stopped crying, her voice conveyed a sense of loneliness.
It’s no wonder she walked a lonely path, not understood by anyone in the world.
I could only hope that by sharing her memories with me, her loneliness and emptiness would be alleviated.
“…It happened.”
Aizel’s lips close.
“You won’t tell me more?”
Aizel shook her head, as if there was still much left to tell.
“Well, there’s a lot I’d like to tell you, but it’s too much, and today’s not enough, and there’s plenty of time to come…I’ll make better memories with Zetto… It’s enough for now.”
“Good enough… I see.”
I responded with a smile.
No longer a regressor, Aizel had time to make memories, and there was tomorrow.
“Are you still going to attend the Academy?”
“Yes. I have work to do.”
“And what is it that Zetto needs to do…?”
“…I don’t know.”
Happy ending.
I vaguely hoped for that.
But as I listened to Heneryes talk about this and that, I thought more about it.
After all, just like in the game, graduating from the Academy isn’t the end of the story.
I wondered if I could reach a happy ending if I broke the ‘chains’.
I’m not sure yet.
After a brief silence, the door to the infirmary opens.
Squeak.
I see familiar faces.
Amon, Lucia, Crank, and even Orphele, who was quiet and didn’t talk much.
“…I guess I’m done here.”
Aizel made a point of leaving since she didn’t want to interrupt the others’ reunion.
Aizel didn’t seem impatient, that was a nice change.
Part of me wanted to make her smile more, as sad as she was, as lonely as she was.
I was chatting with Amon and the others, who had been looking at me wistfully ever since.
“…How is it that you can laugh as usual?”
“Haha, didn’t a miracle happen, I have to smile because it’s a good thing.”
“Mr. Zetto…! You’re still going to attend the academy, right? Without Mr. Zetto, our A class would be… Class A is….”
Lucia’s sobbing voice drew everyone’s attention to my left arm.
Even though I was miraculously resurrected, I couldn’t shout that everything was fine and they were worried in their own way.
“Don’t worry. I’ll still be attending the academy.”
“Are you going to get a prosthetic hand?”
“…Well, I’ll have to.”
“If you run out of money, let me know. House Caligus will assist you. The Lord of the House has a favorable impression of you, so it shouldn’t be too much trouble.”
“I, my Windless…!”
“…”
Orphele quietly placed a hand on my shoulder.
“I… I… yeah, do you have any bread you’d like to eat?”
Crank, who was looking around and scanning the atmosphere, spat out those words.
“Haha… Thank you all, but I’ll take that as a gesture. Ah, I’d like some bread, I’ll be sure to share it with you next time, Crank.”
“Uh, uh…! I’ll make sure to have only your favorite breads…”
“Phew.”
Lucia burst out laughing at Crank’s shaky response.
The sudden mention of bread broke the frozen atmosphere.
I realized that it was better to laugh than to be serious.
We continued to make small talk.
“So, what about the others…”
I trailed off.
“Maybe soon…”
Just as Amon was about to say that I heard urgent running down the hallway, she reaches the door, which is now wide open, and shouts.
“Zetto…!”
“…You’re just in time.”
Amon shrugged.
His eyes caught sight of her finely braided red hair and the red flower in her eyes was about to burst into flame once more.
***
It had been a long time since I had slept so deeply.
I had met Zetto in my dreams.
He had come back to life like a lie, breathing calmly, and was hugging the Saint.
Well, after opening my eyes and seeing my father’s worried face, I quickly realized it wasn’t a dream.
I had fallen unconscious after the funeral due to the shock
That’s what my father said.
Fortunately, not much time passed.
“Ha… Ha…”
I was running down the hall and I didn’t look back when I heard that I was going to meet Zetto.
Now I was at the end of it.
“Zetto…!”
“…You’re just in time.”
There was already a guest and her gaze was fixed on him.
‘Zetto’s alive.’
She let out a ragged breath and looked at him.
It was an outrageous miracle, the stuff of storybooks.
Soon, those who had come to him first left the infirmary.
As the door slams shut behind them, I suddenly remember my father’s words to me before I came here.
‘This time, don’t miss it.’
It was a miraculous second chance.
A chance to keep him.
A chance not to lose him.
A chance to undo a wrong.
A chance I thought would never be given to me again.
I dove straight for Zetto.
I hugged him tightly, not wanting to lose him, not wanting to miss my chance.
“…Zetto…”
His warmth was warmer than the morning sun and hotter than any flame enveloped me..
“I said I’d be back.”
Zetto’s voice whispers in my ear, the voice I’ve wanted to hear for so long and tears threatened to burst from my eyes.
At the same time, I felt a sense of emptiness.
I groped for Zetto’s body.
There was nothing there.
Suddenly, I lifted my head.
“Zetto…your arm…”
In my frenzy, I didn’t realize it.
Zetto had kept his promise, but he hadn’t come back whole.
As if to prove it, there were still bandages around his eyes, and the sleeve of his left arm was empty.
“Haha…I guess I couldn’t come back all the way.”
Zetto flashed me a nonchalant smile.
He’s trying to look like he’s fine since he didn’t want to worry me.
“…Well.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I knew a little bit about him now.
“…Hmph…”
But I couldn’t comprehend the pain he must have endured, the anguish, and so the tears fell.
“I’m sorry I scared you, Ms. Yuri.”
“…Not at all. You didn’t have to. Zetto shouldn’t be sorry. Just the fact that he survived…”
Just that I was given a second chance.
Just that I can hold your hand right now.
“That alone should be enough…”
“…”
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you… I’m sorry…”
It pained me to think that I would never be able to take back my last words to him.
He had always meant the world to me, and I couldn’t accept that I had ended it on the worst possible note.
“I didn’t mean to be cold…”
Zetto grabs my hand and brings it to his cheek.
“…You’re so warm.”
Everything melts away at the sound of his sweet voice. My blurred vision, my frozen mind, everything… melted away.
“I know where you’re coming from.”
“I…I got angry at Aizel.. She didn’t do anything wrong. I blamed her…”
I cried like a child who had done something wrong.
In his arms, I felt like a fool and told him everything.
“It must have been hard for you.”
Zetto stroked my hair and continued.
“But it wouldn’t have been any different if it had been Ms. Yuri instead of Ms. Aizel.”
Even through my sobs, Zetto’s voice was so clear that I could hear his sincerity.
“I would have saved Yuri, no questions asked, no hesitation.”
I wondered if Zetto would have made that choice if I had been in Aizel’s place.
I wasn’t sure.
“It’s just that this time it was Ms. Aizel.”
Zetto consoled me, as if he could see right through me.
“That’s what Ms. Yuri is to me.”
The tears that rolled down my cheeks were either tears of sadness or tears of joy, I couldn’t tell.
The tears flowed like rain through her memories, never stopping.
Zetto was still gentle and kind.
His embrace was cozy and comforting, and I didn’t want to escape.
“That’s what Zetto is to me, too.”
“…”
“So… Strong enough to protect you, strong enough that you don’t have to come to my rescue… Strong enough…”
She wanted to be strong enough to protect this moment, this future with him.
“I won’t let Zetto put me through this again…”
The momentary loss was so painful but her determination burned stronger.
Zetto, who had been stroking my hair, replied.
“…Then I guess I’ll just have to wait patiently.”
“Yes, Zetto, wait patiently.”
“Do you have to come to my rescue?”
The corner of Zetto’s mouth twitched upward.
“…Yes.”
Even with that answer… I was well aware that Zetto was far from the word ‘docile’.
So it was only a matter of being strong enough to catch him at any moment, even if he had to leave my arms.
I never wanted to lose that innocent smile etched into my focus again.