Cass felt a little tongue-tied. He wasn’t even sure what to say. The anger was still there, as well as the hurt, but it was significantly dimmed in the face of Lucian’s own anger.
He was right.
Cass hadn’t considered how hard it would be for him to ’be human-like’. He might have, once, but he hadn’t dwelled on it for any considerable amount of time. He’d been so full of his own worries, justifiably so, but everything had come to a head when he’d suggested showing Gideon a good time.
Cass had snapped. There had been something inside of Cass that just couldn’t handle that suggestion. He probably would have been fine if Edgar had suggested something like that, but Lucian? Lucian was-
He didn’t like when Lucian did it.
"I want to apologise." Cass spoke softly. Lucian froze, his body pausing. He was caught in his semi-shifted state, horns, claws and fangs on full display.
"What?" Lucian asked, stunned and Cass felt guilt fill him.
"You’re right. If I haven’t explained any of this, then how are you going to know? But I’m also right, because you didn’t explain either. We’ve had...truly awful communication." Cass admitted, feeling embarrassed. He’d never had to worry about communication before because...he’d never really had to do it.
His sister knew him, knew what he was like. Their bond had taken years to form, and his brother-in-law had been informed by his sister what was the good thing to do, and what would be bad. Cass never had to worry about that.
Then there was Sam and Lord Forsythe. Hell, even Byron. Cass hadn’t really needed to explain himself to them either. They just...kind of accepted anything he did. Sam had to explain himself, so did Byron and...
Cass felt his cheeks warm.
He’d made everyone else explain themselves and he hadn’t. He had kept everything inside until he’d burst and now...he was still feeling the aftershocks of that damn thing.
Cass ducked his head, sighing heavily. He stared down at his lap, his crossed arms and twitched. Swallowing thickly at his own issues, he shivered.
"I’m sorry Lucian. I...I overreacted without considering why you were doing what you were doing." Cass said softly, afraid to raise his head when he was speaking because he was a bit worried about what kind of expression Lucian would have. "I’m not good at this." Cass admitted, feeling strange and vulnerable. "I’ve never...fuck, I don’t even know what we are, what any of this is. I’ve never had to deal with this before. No one wanted to date me before, and I didn’t want to date them either. I’ve never felt these kinds of things before and I..." Cass trailed off, his mouth feeling dry. Shit.
"Sweetness." Lucian’s voice wasn’t closer, kind of what Cass had feared. Instead, it was soft, full of an affection that made Cass wince. "You don’t need to apologise to me. I just appreciate you speaking to me about this." Lucian told him and Cass shook his head.
"No. I was wrong, and you were right. I wasn’t considering all of the things you’ve been doing, all the work you’ve been putting into...this." Cass gestured vaguely with his hand before tucking it against his body again. It felt a bit like a shield to have his arms against his body. A forcefield. Protection.
Cass felt the dragon approach, his magic still swirling in the room. Complicated, confused, but feeling more like Lucian as time passed. Cass flinched when he placed a hand on his upper arm, giving it a squeeze.
"I shouldn’t have lashed out like that." Lucian spoke softly. "I was just...emotional. I couldn’t take this reaction from you. I don’t think I would have taken it well at any point. For you to say that I was cheating on you, and with Gideon of all people? It’s like Sam accusing Byron of cheating with that hussy he spoke of." Lucian told him, disgust in his voice.
Cass flinched, thinking of the poor Mr. Collins who didn’t deserve that kind of attack. He didn’t even know what he’d done to deserve it either.
"I wouldn’t rule it out, though." Came Edgar’s thoughtful response. Both Cass and Lucian looked towards the other man. "We haven’t even asked Gideon his thoughts on this issue. Lucian could be right and if we don’t ask him, we’ll never know." Edgar said. Cass realised he was staring at Gideon and Gideon was surprised that the others were looking at him again.
His eyes were wide, his face slightly flushed and his mouth was flapping like a fish on land.
"I, uh, w-what-" He kept floundering, his expression confused and embarrassed. It was the flush to his cheeks and the way his gaze kept darting between the trio that had an uncomfortable feeling settle into Cass’ gut.
Lucian might be right.
Lucian let out a huff, snorting and smoke poured from him. Cass scrunched up his nose at the smell from his smoke. Edgar’s shoulders moved with his heartfelt sigh.
"Oh Gideon." He spoke softly and Gideon’s mouth slammed shut. He dropped his gaze, clasping his hands in his lap like he was about to pray. He looked guilty, very guilty and Cass couldn’t exactly say that he shouldn’t feel that way.
"Was what Lucian implied true?" Cass asked the new Saint and Gideon swallowed.
"I don’t want to lie to you." He muttered and Cass jerked. Lucian spun with a loud ’ha!’. Edgar stiffened.
"So then don’t. Tell the truth." Edgar told him and Cass could tell that the man was feeling his own pretty intense emotions. His expression was stone. Hard. It was the same mask that Cass had seen from the man when he’d woken up, with a little less of the bitterness mixed in. Oof.
Gideon looked like a child about to be scolded but he took a deep breath, glancing up at Cass and Edgar for a moment before he dropped his gaze. He looked like he’d done something wrong.
"I...I don’t have feelings for Cass but...I could see myself developing them." He admitted. The sound that came out of Lucian was a mix of triumph and anger.
"I fucking knew it!" He cried. When Cass looked at him, the man looked livid. His orange eyes alight with dragon fire. His horns catching the light and glittering. His scales shimmering with each step. Lucian’s dragon teeth were too big for his mouth, jutting out and making him look big. Intimidating.
Cass twitched and tore his gaze away.
"You could develop them?" Cass questioned, curious since he was at the center of this. Gideon’s shoulders hunched.
"I know I have no right to do so, but the more we interact, the more I realise that I clearly misjudged you. I also...enjoyed our conversations in the library before everything went to...shit. You have interesting views on things, and your opinions shifted how I viewed the outcomes of the books I was reading. Even if they were brief, I enjoyed them." Gideon admitted and Cass felt something warm stir his chest.
That wasn’t at all what Cass expected.
"It doesn’t hurt that he’s prettier now that he’s not scowling at everyone, right?" Lucian barked, annoyed that he was right. Cass turned to Lucian, giving him a confused look.
"I still scowl." Cass defended himself. Lucian rolled his eyes.
"You could scowl more for my peace of mind. You keep attracting damn flies. They think you’d taste so damn sweet, and since we didn’t get to the sex demon part of the book, I’m sure it’s only going to tell us you’ll continue to do so. You, unfortunately, need that damn knight around to keep you safe. When your guard is dropped." Lucian told him and Cass felt his face warm.
"I-I have magic." Cass defended and Lucian narrowed his gaze.
"You don’t use it as much as you used to." Lucian pointed out and Cass flinched.
"You don’t." Edgar remarked, seeming a little surprised by the realisation. "Is there something wrong with your magic again?" Edgar asked, worried. Cass shifted.
"Nothing is wrong with my magic, I just...sometimes forget that I have it." Cass mumbled. Lucian suddenly ducked towards Cass, surprising him as his fangs rubbed against Cass’ forehead as the man pressed a kiss there.
"Adorable." Lucian murmured, and that made Cass’ face burn. Lucian rose to his full height immediately. "Which means that Gideon has no fucking hope of not falling for you. He’s already got one foot in the door. He’s probably just being an idiot and ruminating on his feelings for Edgar that everyone knows he has but he thinks he’s hid well. Just go on a fucking date with him. Suck his dick. Figure it out. You just aren’t allowed to fuck my bond while I’m away and not there. If you do?" Lucian snarled. "You can kiss your fucking dick goodbye."
"You didn’t say that to me." Edgar muttered and Lucian scoffed.
"What? After you keeping moaning and groaning about how you want Cass’ cock inside of you? Why would I worry? You going to go fuck him, Edgar?" Lucian asked. Edgar huffed, crossing his arms as he glared at the dragon.
"What if I do?" Edgar asked and Lucian rumbled.
"Bottoms should know their place." Lucian warned. Edgar’s face warmed, Gideon’s jaw dropped and Cass raised his hand and rubbed it over his face.
"No one is fucking anyone, alright? Calm down, both of you." Cass said, tired. "But I do agree with Lucian on one thing, you two?" Cass said, gesturing between Edgar and Gideon. "You need to figure it out. I can always feel the tension between you two, and while I like to be in the know, that doesn’t mean I’m going to tolerate this kind of tension when I’m the only buffer." Cass told them seriously.
Edgar glanced at Cass, confusion on his face and Cass raised an eyebrow. He turned to Lucian.
"When are you planning to leave?" Cass asked him and Lucian flinched. He sighed.
"Soon. I was planning to leave soon." He muttered and Cass hesitated.
"Can you...wait?" Cass asked and the room froze. A slow rumble started in Lucian’s chest as he turned, his expression warming as he looked towards Cass. Cass felt his face warm and he shifted in the seat.
He couldn’t exactly tell them outright that another dungeon was going to form. That they would be called once more. He just...didn’t want to do it without Lucian. That was it.