"I was willing to be forgiving with Edgar, because, after all, it’s Edgar." Cass said, his voice cold, harsh. "I didn’t even mind, since I myself have a hard time resisting Edgar. However, I have to draw a line somewhere." Cass spoke and watched as Lucian swallowed thickly. "You don’t like Gideon. Not as a person, a human, or even a companion. You’ve never spoken of him in a positive light. You’ve, in fact, wanted to keep him away from me for a long, long time." Cass bent slightly, his face coming in close to Lucian’s.
Lucian flinched.
"I am beginning to think, given how we’ve spoken and treated each other before, that the more you say you hate someone, the more you want to fuck them. Am I wrong?" Cass asked, his voice deadly quiet. Lucian made a soft noise in his throat that sounded suspiciously like a whimper.
Lucain’s grip on Cass’ arm tightened and Cass felt his jaw clench the more that the silence hung between them. He was just suggesting it, but the more that the words hung between them, the more Cass felt his heart squeeze.
He slid his gaze towards Gideon, who looked like he was getting blindsighted by this whole interaction. In fact, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Cass couldn’t blame him. Cass didn’t want to be here either. He didn’t like the uncomfortable feeling in his chest, the way it was making him feel.
He fucking hated dealing with these kinds of emotions, because the more he looked at Lucian’s stupid fucking face, the more he wanted to shove him, push him over and hit and slap him. This was only made worse by the fact that Lucian could fucking feeling his emotions.
"Am. I. Wrong?" Cass asked again, punctuating his words and Lucian swallowed.
"It’s not true for Gideon." Lucian finally said, his voice whisper soft. Choked. Cass rolled his eyes, the laughter leaving his lips nothing close to kind.
"Just Gideon huh?" Cass’ voice sounded amused, but no one bought it. "I can’t fucking believe you. You talk a good talk, Lucian. I’ll have to reevaluate my belief that you’re a shitty liar." Cass told him and Lucian paled.
"C-Cass, no! That’s not-I’m not-" He was tripping over himself, trying to speak and Cass let out a growl of frustration.
He glared at the damn dragon, his gaze flaring a bright, disturbing red as frost began to form on the waterglasses around him. Edgar sucked in, ready to interfere soon if things didn’t resolve soon.
"Then what is it, Lucian? What the fuck is it? Because from where I’m sitting, it feels like everything you fucking said yesterday was a damn lie so that you could have your way with me." Cass told him, the words pouring out from a part of Cass that hurt.
Really fucking hurt.
Why? Why did it hurt so much? Why was his gut twisting like he’d been stabbed? It was goddamn Gideon of all people, a man who had pleaded for Edgar to forgive him, soaking wet on the front steps of this very house. Cass knew where the man’s affections were. So why did that make him react like this?
Fuck Lucian.
A loud sound tore out of Lucian, startling everyone. It sounded like a roar, caught in the throat of a human. Lucian tore his hands away from Cass, as Cass realised the man’s body was flickering. Twisting.
It was the first time that Cass had seen something like this, and despite the moment, the anger and hurt that was filling him, Cass felt concern for the other man fill him too. A weird trio, something that made this moment feel too fucking real.
Cass watched as Lucian spun, moving down the length of the room, his body twitching, the magic waves coming off of him distorted and strange. Unfamiliar.
That was when Cass noticed his hands were shifting and it wasn’t an illusion. Lucian was switching rapidly between his semi-shifted form and his human form. It was clear when he turned, spinning on his heel and making his way towards Cass.
His expression was grim, his face highlighted with scales and sharp, dangerous horns showing up before fading away. Even his shape shifted, growing a bit bigger, a bit taller and his mouth shifted. Large, sharp fangs descended and then faded.
Cass’ surprise stole his breath.
"I can’t say anything because that’s who I used to be." Lucian growled, the vibration from his words filling the air. He was holding onto his human shell by the tips of his claws and Cass was surprised. He’d never had issues before now. So, why get this emotional now?
"Who you used to be?" Cass repeated, not processing the words in the slightest. Lucian let out another growl, shoving his hands into his hair and letting out another annoyed cry.
"Yes! I was loose with my affections! I didn’t give a fuck, or I gave them too freely. Whatever you want to call it, I will accept the label. I viewed anyone who rejected me as a challenge to chase, anyone who chased me as a good bedmate. I wasn’t a good partner by your standards." Lucian huffed, spinning and continuing his pacing.
Eating was forgotten, and the ice had faded from the waterglasses. At least for the moment.
"And you think you are now?" The words slipped out, hanging between them. Cass flinched, knowing that he probably should have held his tongue at the moment but he couldn’t help himself.
The look that Lucian flung over his shoulder was hurt. Very hurt. Those big, reptilian orange eyes were unmoving, unflinching. Cass sucked in.
"I am doing my damn best." Lucian told him through gritted teeth. "I truly am, and I am aware I am failing. I fail over and over and over. But if I was my old self, I wouldn’t have even tried to go this far in the first place!" Lucian roared. "None of you see how hard I am trying because none of you know what I used to be like! This is hard for me!" Lucian roared, coming to a stop and thudding his fist against his chest. Cass watched on, stunned into silence.
"I am not saying that you are not worth the effort, because you are. I was not lying when I said I wanted to be yours. I want you to be mine. I am trying to be open and understanding to your confusing human ways, but you aren’t lenient with any of my things!" Lucian declared.
Cass opened his mouth to respond, closed it. He couldn’t argue since they hadn’t really discussed what Lucian might want. They had been rather focused on Cass and what he needed. Cass swallowed.
"That doesn’t excuse you flirting with-"
"You like him!" Lucian exploded, cutting Cass off. Cass sat there, stunned. Lucian pointed a finger at him and Cass watched as it switched between a claw and a finger twice before Lucain spoke again. "You like him, and I am trying to abide by the rules of this new human society, like you wanted! I have known dragons who have killed those who have looked at their bond partners before, but this society is different. I am trying to be inclusive, trying to appease you, knowing that everyone will fade in the end and it will just be you and me." Lucian growled.
Cass felt like he’d been punched in the gut.
"I-I-I don’t-" Lucian’s responding growl to Cass’ words were dangerous. Very dangerous.
"Open that pretty little mouth to lie and I’ll be the one pissed." Lucian told him. Cass shut his mouth. Sure, he had liked Gideon. He’d liked him as a character when he’d been reading this world as a book. He thought that he would have gotten along with him, maybe even friends. Cass hadn’t felt that way about this Gideon, had he?
This Gideon was standoffish, dangerous. Had reported him to the High Priest, tried to have him killed. Well, it was actually far more complicated than that, now that Cass knew more of the truth, but that didn’t-
"He likes Edgar." Cass told Lucian, leveling him with a look of indignation. Lucian let out a cruel laugh.
"You think I’m a damn idiot? He’s got two pretty men around him, and he’s always been gay, like you! Of course he’s been checking you two out. He’s just been allowed to pine after Edgar because they were allowed to know each other and weren’t allowed to do that with you because you were the enemy. You aren’t the enemy anymore, Cass. You’ve already said it. You’re his fucking owner, and he’s a loyal fucking dog." Lucian huffed, smoke curling from his nose and lips. "I’m not as smart as you when it comes to books, but I’m far smarter than you when it comes to physical things." Cass couldn’t exactly argue against that.
Each sentence felt like a blow. Something that Cass hadn’t considered, registered, or noticed. Lucian’s gaze curled cruelly, his expression twisting as he came to a halt.
"You throw around accusations, blaming me for doing something you don’t like, you wouldn’t want, and yet I am trying to keep the peace. Trying to make it so that I don’t kill the people that you care about. You talk a big game, Cass, trying to be mean and cruel, but your heart is too big. I’m not surprised you’re a hero. You and Fiona are cut from the same cloth." That was one of the worst insults he could have said.
Cass felt the blow to his bones, his body shaking at the words.
Edgar’s soft gasp punctuated the words, making it hurt more. Cass felt his eyes water slightly.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do, Lucian? Huh? What the fuck am I supposed to do when now is the first time I’ve heard any of this? About how you’ve noticed all of this? You’ve said it yourself that I’m physically dumb, so how could I have noticed any of this without someone telling me?" Cass asked and Lucian huffed again.
"How can that not be the same for me then? How am I supposed to know when you don’t open your mouth and tell me? You keep all of your thoughts and plans to yourself, Cass, instead of relying on us. I’m not even going to be here for two whole months and I just-" He cut off, clenching his hand tightly. He looked away, taking a few deep breaths.
Cass sat there, stunned. He was in shock, shaken to his core. Lucian had been watching him this whole time. Watching everyone, actually. Noticing the changes because he had experience in that field. He’d truly wanted to make everything work with Cass, but had gone about it wrong.
Because he was a dragon who had lived for centuries. Had habits ingrained into his being that Cass couldn’t even begin to understand. To live for that long as he was previously and Cass...Cass had asked him to change.
And he was trying.
The twisting pain and anger in Cass’ chest shifted, changing and Cass felt like such a fucking idiot. Did that make any of this okay? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t think the answer was yes, but it did make things complicated. Very complicated.