The conversation being diverted from himself, in a sense, helped calm Cass down. He was able to stop his shaking and slowly was able to look around him and see the people around him as they were.
He’d been avoiding it since that sticky, terrible feeling had filled his chest. Since he felt like he was losing his control. Since Cassian had taken the reins from his hands and made his own choice.
Cass did feel a little betrayed by his actions, but at the same time, they were both involved in this mess and Cass had been making the choices for them for a long time. The man was absolutely allowed to make some decisions. Cass just...was used to being in control. It had been a while since he had taken over. Almost two months, actually.
With that understanding inside of him, Cass glanced around at the others. He was in Lucian’s lap, yes, but he was only halfway in his lap. Edgar was also in Lucian’s lap and Cass hadn’t really examined how that had worked. He’d been too caught up in his own feelings, his instability taking over.
Edgar was on one leg, while Cass was on the other. Lucian had his arms around their waists, holding them tightly but not painfully tight so that neither man had to be afraid he would fall. The reason why he was unable to look at Edgar clearly was because Cass was sitting with his back to the room.
When he was speaking to Lord Ridgewood, he would have to turn his body in such a way that he wouldn’t be able to look at Edgar and Lord Ridgewood at the same time. Edgar was essentially behind him.
Lucian, however, had been in his line of sight the whole time, but Cass simply hadn’t been paying the man any attention. Lucian looked pissed, pained, and pressed. His long hair was slightly tangled around his shoulders, his facial hair making his handsome face look more severe as he didn’t smile. His orange eyes were pucks in his face, the dragon aspect of them so prevalent that there was no way he would be able to hide it.
Cass hadn’t noticed it at first, but the man felt huge. His whole presence was filling up the room. He was in control, he was always in control, but Cass could tell he was doing his best to do so.
When Lucian noticed that Cass was looking at him, he swallowed and forced his expression to soften slightly.
"Hey, Cass. What’s up?" Lucian asked softly, his voice a little raspy. Cass could hear the roughness there, feel the dragon there in his voice. That only made the fact that he was speaking to him like a startled animal all the worse. Cass wasn’t even offended at this point.
Cass glanced down, sighing, before shaking his head. He then turned to look at Edgar.
He had to shift slightly in Lucian’s lap to get a good look at the other man, and when he did, he found a man stoically staring back at him. Edgar was spectacular at hiding his feelings. He’d been trained on Duke Vespertine’s knee, after all, and there was a reason that Edgar and Cass had traded barbs before their relationship had taken this...turn.
Edgar, despite being as emotional as he had been before now, looked calm. Relaxed. Not a hair out of place, his collar perfect. He didn’t look like he had been a pillar of support for him until Cass told him to be nice.
The only thing that gave him away were his bright blue eyes. The room was a little dark, so Cass could see how bright and reflective they were. Like a bat’s, or a cat’s. Cass stared at him next, feeling Edgar stare at him as well.
He could feel the tension growing between him, but Cass didn’t know what it meant. Was Edgar mad at him? Was he sad? Cass was feeling a fluttering in his chest that he wasn’t quite sure he could pin down.
Flustered, Cass broke eye contact first, unsure but it was Edgar who reached towards him and grabbed Cass’ chin, stilling his movement.
"You don’t get to just stare at me like that and get away easily." Edgar told him and Cass blinked. Stare at him like what? Edgar scanned Cass’ slightly confused expression before a smirk touched his lips. Cass let out a soft, surprised sound as Edgar reached for him, pulling him closer to him on Lucian’s lap. Edgar’s hand on Cass’ waist was burning hot, a surprising thing since Edgar was normally at a relatively human temperature.
"What?" Cass asked, a little shocked, before his brain started firing. He’d heard that phrase before. That was a rather dangerous phrase, and while Cass was sure Edgar wouldn’t do anything, he wasn’t completely sure. "I-I’m not looking at you like anything." Cass argued, then winced at the sound of the words leaving his lips. Was he a damn idiot? How many times had he’d read those lines, and how often had that gotten the protagonist nowhere?
Edgar’s gaze, bright and warm, scanned Cass’ face slowly. Cass felt his mouth open slightly as his gaze nearly burned when they got to his lips. He could not be seriously thinking about that while they were in this situation, and on Lucian’s lap. Cass felt his face warm.
"You cannot be serious right now." Cass hissed, and watched as Edgar’s eyes curled up as the handsome man’s face cracked, turning even more devilishly handsome. Having looks like his had to be illegal.
"What? You’re newly awoken as a true sex demon, and we’ve been having really serious conversations. I’m sure you’re hungry. What do sex demons eat, Cass?" Cass was at a loss for words.
"I-I am not hungry right now. I have no damn appetite. Who would have one right now?" Cass could feel his fluster growing as Lucian shifted under him. Cass nearly fell over, having to flail his arms around, slamming hands down on Edgar and Lucian. He then groaned, closing his eyes. What in the world was he doing?
"Even if you don’t have an appetite, you should probably eat. It’s been a few hours since you last ate." Lucian said, concern in his voice. Cass wanted to snarl at him.
"I’m not hungry! I really am not! I haven’t even been feeding that side of me for this long, do you think I need to overindulge now?" Cass was annoyed, embarrassed, and just...overwhelmed. Lucian patted his side comfortingly.
"Yes, while that could be the case, you’ve put on good weight since you started your blended diet. You have some meat to your bones now, Cass. I really think we should be feeding you three, balanced meals every day, with regular snacks in between." Cass’ face couldn’t be redder.
"What are you now? My fitness coach?" It was a low blow, especially since no one in the room knew what it meant. Lucian frowned at his words.
"What does that mean?" He asked and Cass just grew more frustrated.
"It’s someone who is annoying and tries to micromanage your diet and physical health." Cass told him and Lucian seemed to ponder that for a moment before he started nodding.
"Then maybe I am your fitness coach. I care about your fitness and your health. I’ll cook for you too. I’ll do anything you need me to do. After all, I have to make it up to you." Lucian said gravely and Cass felt his chest ache at the sincerity there.
It was getting overwhelming. He was getting overwhelmed.
"What, exactly, do sex demons subside on?" Lord Ridgewood asked and Cass jerked his head towards the other man. He was sitting on the couch, his face carefully composed as Cass lit up like a damn light.
"Gideon, what happens when two people have sex?" Lucian asked, and Cass appreciated he wasn’t snarling at the man. However, Lord Ridgewood looked a little confused.
"A baby forms?" Lord Ridgewood said and Lucian slowly grinned. Cass wanted to pray to a higher power.
Both of them? Both Lord Ridgewood and Lady Ava?
"Here we fucking go." Edgar muttered so quietly that Cass was sure only the three of them heard it. "Gideon, you took sexual education prior to your marriage, yes?" Edgar asked and Lord Ridgewood nodded.
"Yes, but it might have been lacking. My brother informed me that Fiona would be a better teacher, so while I understand that the penis and the vagina are involved for traditional heterosexual intercourse, I am unfamiliar with the other things that go with it." He made a thoughtful expression. "Though, I am aware most acts are done naked, but not always, there appears to be quite a deal of thrusting of some sort, but I am unfamiliar with the rest." Cass almost felt bad for the man.
He had pined after another man and had no idea what he would even do with him if he got his hands on him. Cass couldn’t help but look at him with pity. He felt like an expert given how much he’d read.
"Maybe I should lend you one of my books." Cass said and Lucain burst out into laughter.
"Cassy baby, that’s like asking a hatchling to fly when they just developed their wings. He’s too new to read the stuff you read. He won’t even understand it." Lucian teased and Cass glared at him.
"I have softer stuff. It’s fluffy. Light. Easy for a beginner like Lord Ridgewood." Cass said, defending himself.
It was only one book, but it counted!
Lord Ridgewood looked interested.
"There are books on this kind of thing? I thought they were outlawed." Lucian was shaking both Edgar and Cass as he laughed. Cass flushed.
"Cass has access to things we don’t because of his demon lineage, Gideon. That includes raunchy books that make me see stars. The fact that Cass can read them without flinching is a talent." Cass flushed.
"They are not that bad! I’ve read worse before." Cass protested and felt Lucian’s hand squeeze him, getting his attention. When Cass looked back at him, Lucian had an eyebrow raised.
"What I read was tame to what you’ve read before? My goodness, Sweetness. I’ve really been letting you down." Lucian’s smile was slow, seductive, and had Cass’ heart racing loud enough that he knew the other man could hear it.
Annoyed, Cass reached out and smacked his pec, knowing that Lucian wouldn’t care. He just tossed his head back and laughed.
"If you want to hurt me, you’re going to have to hit me harder. That was just a love tap, Sweetness." Lucian told him, his orange gaze sparkling. Cass just wanted to crawl into a hole.
Now they were just making fun of him instead of interrogating him. He didn’t know which was worse.