Sam was sniffling as he stepped into the room and Cass couldn’t blame him. Cass kind of wanted to sniffle too, but someone had to keep themselves together.
As Cass closed the door to the room behind him, he watched as Lucian and Byron turned and rapidly moved towards each other. He watched as Edgar’s arms went up in a placating gesture and he closed his eyes.
What he didn’t see, he didn’t have to know about. Edgar could handle it. Or he knew he could send them outside. Cass had other things to worry about than two dragons fighting.
Cass turned after the door was fully closed to take in the nervous, clearly worried man who had been at his side since the moment he’d woken up. A man who thrived on Cass doing bad things, a man who liked to dress Cass up as a Villain. A man who had stood up for him against people who legitimately terrified him, but he hadn’t backed down.
A man who did not forget how they had treated Cass before he came back, and after.
Cass felt his lips curl up into a bitter smile.
"Should we sit, Sam?" Cass asked softly and watched as Sam shook his head.
"I...I don’t think that’s necessary." Sam spoke. He sounded absolutely miserable. Cass couldn’t exactly blame him. He looked miserable. His lips were trembling. He was clearly trying to keep it together.
"Sam, you’ve been lying to me?" Cass tried to sound firm. Tried to sound big, bad. The Villain that Sam clearly was trying to make him out to be. Instead, Cass sounded weak. Sad. About as heartbroken as he felt. Sam bent in half, his hands wrapping around his stomach.
"I’m sorry, my Lord. I really am. I never meant to lie for this long, but after some time I just...I got scared. I got so scared about how you would react. I know you aren’t the kind of person to judge one’s background, but it wasn’t logical. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I just-I like being by your side and I was worried that you would get rid of me if I proved to be an issue." Sam was rambling, speaking directly to the ground than to Cass.
His words were coming out so fast that it took Cass a second to realise and process what he was saying. Sam was keeping his background from Cass, but Cass had to speak to him about a far more serious issue.
"I don’t really care where you come from, Sam. Not really." Cass let out a heavy sigh. "But that isn’t what I wanted to speak to you about." Cass watched as Sam’s body jerked.
"What did you want to speak to me about, my Lord?" Sam asked, his voice trembling. Cass thought that he needed to sit down, even if Sam didn’t, but he couldn’t move. He was frozen in place. He didn’t think his legs would carry him over to the couch. His nerves had gotten the better of him. Cass took in a deep, careful breath before he let out a shuddering breath,
"Sam, do you remember giving me my medicine before I went into the dungeon?" Cass asked softly. Sam jerked his head up, his face full of confusion as he heard Cass speak.
"Of course, my Lord. I gave them to you in your rooms." Sam said and Cass felt his face twist for a second before he controlled himself again.
"You didn’t forget to give them to me?" Cass asked and Sam shook his head.
"No, of course not. That’s a very important thing for you. It was at the top of my list of things I needed to make sure you packed. In case something happened. Why? Was it missing?" Sam asked, looking horrified. "Did you think I forgot to give it to you? I’m sorry, my Lord. Did something happen inside of the dungeon that meant you needed it?" Cass closed his eyes. He couldn’t look at him when he asked his next question.
"You didn’t...hand it to me outside? When we were just about to leave?" Cass asked.
"No, my Lord. I did no such thing. Why? What’s going on?" Sam asked, sounding more and more confused. Cass covered his eyes with his left hand. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to suspect Sam any longer.
"Sam, that day I left for the dungeon, you came up to me outside of the manor and handed me more medicine. There was a point when I was inside of the dungeon that I needed some. Nothing major as I can recall, but Lucian suddenly threw the tin away from me suddenly as soon as he smelt it. That was when we realised that there were two tins. One was normal, and one was poisoned." Cass slid his hand down his face, covering his mouth.
The look on Sam’s face was one of horror, before a light went off from behind his eyes and that was about as damning as anything ever could be. Cass felt his chest tighten as Sam literally fell to his knees, pressing his face against the ground, his hands above his face on the ground.
"I would never do something like that. It was not me!" Sam cried. "B-But, I might know who it was." Sam sounded terrified. He started crying before Cass could even get a word in. "I’m so sorry, my Lord. I’m so, so sorry. I never wanted to put you in the line of danger. You have every right to suspect me. You should suspect me." Sam was sobbing on the floor and Cass wanted to join him.
"What’s going on, Sam?" Cass asked and Sam sobbed harder.
"I-I, it’s because of who I am. What I am, my Lord." Sam sobbed, shaking as he lay as flat as he could against the floor. "I’m a demon, my Lord. A demon who was tasked with keeping an eye on you by the demon king." Cass felt like the world had shifted on its axis.
Sam was a demon? He had been a demon this whole time? And he had been spying on him?
Cass hadn’t thought that this would be as big of a blow as it was, but he felt like Sam had just punched a hole through his chest. Cass exhaled sharply, his feet stumbling back until he slammed up against the door. His hands were shaking, his breath coming in rapid breaths. This was...
Cass felt a hot trail of a tear run down his face. Fuck.
"You were spying on me?" Cass asked in a broken whisper. "For the demon king?" Sam’s body trembled against the ground. He wasn’t looking up, couldn’t see Cass’ face.
"No, no! As soon as I got here, as soon as I met you I knew that I couldn’t do that to you. You...You aren’t like the rest of us, my Lord. You...you actually care about your people. Even when you were your old self, you always did. You just...had a tougher time showing it." Cass felt his face drain of colour.
Old self? His old self? What was Sam saying? What was he implying?
Cass slid down to the ground, his body trembling. He had known that Sam knew a lot about him. That was bound to happen when someone spent that much time with you. He knew that Sam was bound to find some things weird about him. After all, Cass had taken over his old Lord’s body.
He wasn’t going to act exactly like him, but to hear that...there was a chance that Sam knew more?
"What do you mean ’old self’ Sam?" Cass asked, his voice rough. He was having a hard time speaking past the part of him that just wanted to flee this conversation now. Sam didn’t raise his head still.
"W-Well...Lady Ava isn’t the only one who can sense those kinds of things." Cass closed his eyes. So he’d known.
He’d known that something had changed. Probably better than most that something had changed. Cass wanted to run away. He wanted to get angry. He wanted to yell at this man.
"So, not only did you lie to me about your origins, you used the fact that you knew so much about my constitution as a way to become my personal servant, found out all of my secrets, and then gave that over to the demon king?" Cass rasped and that was when Sam raised his head up off of the ground. He had expected Cass to be up still, standing on his feet.
When he saw that Cass was on the ground, his knees up to his chest from how he’d fallen, his hands braced against the door as he had tried to catch himself, he looked anguished.
"My Lord? Are you alright?" Sam asked, dragging himself closer. Cass raised his hand up slightly and Sam stopped.
"Answer the question." Cass rasped and Sam swallowed thickly, tears pouring from his eyes.
"No. No, my Lord! I didn’t-I would never tell the demon king that about you! I never even told him about your symptoms! I told them nothing, just your-your food preferences. I told them nothing else." Sam’s eyes poured tears. "You were always so nice to me. Cold maybe, distant, but you didn’t belittle me for being dumb. You never beat me for no good reason. You...you learned to trust me. You liked my tea. You let me pick out your outfits. You didn’t ask for hard things for me to do. Why would I...why would I ever betray that kind of trust? I like working for you. I like you, my Lord. Whatever skin you wear." Cass closed his eyes, his face turning ugly as tears poured from his eyes.
"You can’t say that, Sam." Cass told him. "How can I trust you after this? How am I supposed to trust you? I sniffed Byron out, you had the perfect time to tell me then that you were here from the demon king. It was a perfect time to do so." Cass whispered brokenly. Sam sniffed. Cass heard the sound of him pulling himself closer to Cass and Cass flinched as a hand touched his shoe.
"My Lord, you had just...come back. I had no idea how sensitive you would be to that kind of information. I had no idea, so I stayed my tongue. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry over me. Please." Sam begged and Cass let out a wet, angry laugh.
"What am I supposed to do then? I just found out that you-you were lying to me, to get closer to me. For the demon king, and...it hurts, Sam. This really hurts me. I thought you were on my side." Cass whispered.
Sam’s eyes were overcome with emotion as he watched Cass’ shoulders shake silently.
"I am on your side." Sam told him. "I’ve always been on your side." Sam insisted, but Cass just shook his head. He couldn’t hear the man say it right now. He didn’t believe him.
Cass had a hole in his chest and Sam had made it. Cass had no idea how he was supposed to fix something that so damn big. This was the reason he didn’t want to talk about this. Why he never wanted to poke this hornet nest.
He had a feeling he would always end up like this. Like Cass, like Cassian had always known the answer. No one just worked for Cass because they wanted to. Everyone were fucking spies.
No one actually liked Cass for who he was, just what he could offer.
"Get out." Cass rasped. "I can’t stand to see your face right now. Get out of my room." Cass sounded weak, because he was weak. Sam looked terrified.
"I-I don’t want to leave you alone like this." Sam told him brokenly, tears still streaming down his face. Cass glared at the man.
"You knew this was the outcome when you didn’t tell me right away. Out. I can’t bear to see you right now." The order tore something deep inside of Cass, but it was what he needed to do.
Cass needed to be alone right now.