Chapter 185: When the body finally gives out
"T-T-Tw-" Cass felt like a broken record player. Two? Two dicks? What the fuck? Why the fuck? Why had that never been brought up before? Why hadn’t Fiona known about it in the original book? Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
That was-nope. That was too much. Cass couldn’t do that. That was-
"Relax, sweetness. Do you think I’m such a monster that I would introduce them both at the same time? I’m a gentleman. I wouldn’t do that. You don’t strike me as the kind of man who likes that kind of pain in the bedroom." Lucian’s voice was downright criminal in Cass’ ear. "Besides, we’re in a dungeon. I’m not so foolish as to do anything like that when danger lurks around each corner." His voice dipped lower. "Like how thin the tents provided are. We have some big ears nearby, and I want to keep the sounds you make to myself."
The sound that left Cass’ throat was between a strangled choking noise and a gasp. Cass couldn’t pinpoint it as he tried to suck air into his lungs.
"W-We aren’t-that’s-" Cass made a soft whimpering noise that had Lucian pressing closer.
"Does that scare you? Mm. There’s no need. Did I ever tell you the secret to how dragons are able to copulate with any species?" Cass wasn’t sure he wanted to hear. He felt like his head might explode if he did.
Why the hell hadn’t he been like this with Fiona in the book?! If he had, Cass would have at least had some kind of warning. Instead, he hadn’t expected this kind of behaviour at all!
"N-No." Cass managed to say, his whole body trembling as Lucian chuckled.
"Our semen has an aphrodisiac in it. Helps everyone relax." Lucian’s words washed over Cass and he was pretty sure he was at his breaking point.
Lucian, as if able to sense it, pulled back. The places where he had touched Cass burned flame hot and Cass swayed at the loss. Lucian came around the front, crouching down before Cass again. His orange eyes were dancing, his long hair slightly falling forward, covering Cass’ view of his chest.
Cass was trembling, his hands on the book looked like they were vibrating. His face felt hot and he felt overstimulated. He wanted to be anywhere else. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. If Lucian did, Cass was going to flee.
He felt no shame in it. This was overwhelming. He already had a crazy day, and he was for sure blaming Vespertine. He’d practically made a prophecy, and hell, Lucian felt like he was here to help complete it.
"Cassian? You should close that book of yours and put it away. Fiona’s going to come over here in a few minutes to help you get ready for bed." Lucian told him, his orange gaze warm, his lips turned up. He was behaving as if he hadn’t just shaken Cass to his very foundation with his words.
With how he had touched him, how he spoke to him.
This was completely different from reading words on a page. Cass felt like he was on an emotional rollercoaster and he had no idea how to get off.
"I feel like a toy." Cass mumbled and Lucian’s eyes widened.
"A toy? How so?" Lucian asked carefully, leaning in not quite far enough to invade Cass’ personal space again, but the threat was there. Cass flinched.
"I feel like all of you are just tugging me in separate directions. You’re all just..." Cass trailed off as he felt his eyes fill with tears and then it was done.
He couldn’t stop them again.
Lucian’s face crumpled as he realised that Cass was crying. Soundlessly. Tears fell and splattered on the book. Lucian grabbed it, yanking it out of the line of fire before he shifted forward in his crouched position. It wasn’t an attractive move and made him look like a crab.
The small bit of humour made Cass’ shoulders tremble but that was about it. Lucian reached up, pushing Cass’ thighs open as he reached up, cupping Cass’ face as he tried to brush away the tears with his thumbs.
"Sh. Don’t cry, sweetness. I feel like my hearts are going to burst. You’ve already cried so much today. You’re going to be dehydrated." Lucian cooed. He was being soft, considerate and Cass closed his eyes, dropping his head. Lucian’s hand held up his head. Cass felt weak. He felt tired.
He was just...everything was coming down like a hammer and Lucian seemed to sense the shift in him. He moved in closer, pulling Cass against his chest.
"Oh Cassian. It’s okay." Lucian murmured and Cass shook his head. His face had been shoved into the crook of Lucian’s shoulder, his arms at his side while Lucian hugged him, pulling him up.
"I’m just tired." Cass said in a weak voice. "I’ll be fine in the morning." He didn’t sound strong to himself, but Lucian didn’t call him out on it.
"You will be fine in the morning." He echoed, his voice warm and Cass just tucked his head into his shoulder.
"I want to go to bed." Cass whispered and Lucian gave his whole body a squeeze.
"You can. I’ll help you. Fiona needs to wrap your hands first." Lucian told him and Cass made a face.
"I want to skip tonight. I’m too tired. I just want to go to sleep." Cass knew he sounded pitiful and Lucian let out a deep sigh.
"Fine. I’ll do it instead then. You can just sleep and I’ll wrap them. No complaining if they aren’t as perfect as Fiona would have done." Lucian grumbled. "I’ve never had to care for someone while they were injured. Dragons either heal quickly, or die." Cass couldn’t even look at that statement at this moment, too focused on his own issues.
Lucian carried him over to where the tents were and Cass could hear everyone else speaking, asking about his condition but Cass didn’t respond. He couldn’t.
Lucian’s body was warm. Warm enough that after Cass had given himself permission, he began to nod off. It felt comfortable to be carried around by him, his head resting somewhere safe, his breathing shallow as the voices of the others faded slowly into the background. Even the light jostling from Lucian moving around couldn’t deter his sleep.
Cass was sure he made a noise of complaint, of anger when Lucian tried to do something, but he couldn’t remember what. All he could hear was the soft chuckle from Lucian, a voice calling in the distance and the hum of Lucian’s voice as he replied.
That was okay.
He tried not to think about how calming Lucian’s presence had become to him as time had progressed. How he didn’t hate it as much as before that Lucian was able to tell what he was feeling. How it kind of felt like a little secret between them. Lucian didn’t always react when Cass felt a surge of emotions. He sometimes just sat back and let Cass handle it himself.
Cass was a little bit amused by how their dynamic was changing. He didn’t know if it was a good thing. Cass still had plans to leave. He had to. It wasn’t like Fiona could leave. This was her story, her place. Even if Lord Blackburn had helped her create it, owned quite a bit of it, that didn’t change the fact that she was supposed to be the main character.
The main character in a romance novel where she felt feelings for the healer, not the four men she was married to.
Cass let out a snort, almost asleep and heard Lucian chuckle.
"Something funny, my Lord?" He asked and Cass snorted again.
"Mm." He replied, fully thinking that he’d actually said words. Lucian chuckled, working quietly on getting Cass undressed from his stuffy clothes. Cass didn’t notice as Lucian took off his outer layers, helping him get down to the flowy white shirt that was the base of his outfit. Lucian made sure there wasn’t anything sharp that would dig into him while he was asleep, helping him remove his shoes as well.
"That right? I’m sure it’s hilarious then." Lucian said quietly, his smile permanent. It was such a simple act, such a domestic one. But it was special. Cass was letting Lucian take care of him while he was at his weakest point.
His true, weakest point. Lucian wasn’t going to forget this moment. Not now, not ever, but he was glad that Cass would.
Cass made a soft noise, a soft sigh, and couldn’t notice how the other man paused, making sure he hadn’t disturbed the other man.
Cass didn’t know that Fiona hovered just outside of the tent flaps, the medicine she’d been given by Sam in her arms along with the bandages. It was only a few moments later that Lucian opened the tent flaps, holding out his hands.
"I’ll take it from here." He said, his voice quiet, warm. Fiona stared at him anxiously.
"Are you sure? I don’t mind helping." She said and Lucian shook his head.
"He’s out like a light. I don’t want to confuse him, and he’s used to my touch." Lucian didn’t say it in a bragging way, just making a statement. Fiona scanned his face, trying to get a read on the other man.
"Lucy, be careful with him." Fiona said quietly and Lucian let out a snort.
"Am I not? This is unlike me, Fiona." Lucian told her and Fiona’s lips turned up slightly before her expression dropped again.
"I know. I remember how we met. I’m just..." She trailed off for a moment. "He’s not lying about his life, about what he’s lived. He’s...fragile. Especially right now. Don’t push him too hard. You might break him, and I’m not talking physically." She warned and Lucian didn’t brush off her words.
He nodded, solemn.
"I know. I noticed. He’s..." He reached up, touching his chest, his hand over one of his hearts where he felt most of Cass’ feelings. "I know." He murmured quietly and Fiona nodded slowly. She didn’t need to say it, but she wanted to. She wanted to look out for Cass, and didn’t need him to know about it. It wasn’t for some kind of bragging rights. She just thought it was the right thing to do.
"Okay. Then, I’ll see you in the morning. Don’t worry about your rotation, or Cass’. Eddie, Gideon and I will handle it." Lucian nodded, glancing at Fiona for a second before he turned back to the tent, his arm full of medical supplies. Fiona let out a soft sigh before she turned and headed back to her post near the fire. She was the first rotation for the night.