Chapter 176: Look, we’re not so different, you and me
It was like he had sprung a leak. Cass wasn’t able to stop himself from speaking now. "I-I spoke to the gods. I honestly didn’t even really believe in them before this. I think of them actually as a nuisance. If I was meant to die, just let me, you know? Anyway, I just-" Cass had to stop to swallow the saliva pooling in his mouth. He was so fucking nervous.
"Anyway, I spoke to them. They wanted to make a deal. Said that they saw how this world ended, and that I needed to help prevent it. I didn’t get it. I’m just some guy, why the hell did they want me? But I-" Cass swallowed nervously, his eyes watering.
There was another trope. Another thing he could do. Something that could hurt him greatly, but might be able to save him from being killed as a demon. It might erase him though, and he wasn’t sure if he could do that.
He let out a shaky breath and Lady Fiona’s grip on his neck tightened. He couldn’t tell if it was in support, or a threat. Either way, it spurred him on, his guts churning.
"So they sent me to another world." Cass whispered. "Another world where I lived as a regular human. No magic, no nothing. No money, no parents, but I had a sister. She was-" Cass choked on his tears. "She was a lot like you. You remind me of her." Cass whispered through his tears. He raised a hand, wiping them away with the back of his hand. "I lived with her for a long time, over 20 years. Did everything I could for her. She was due with my niece or nephew relatively soon and then-" Cass hiccupped.
He hated this. He hated making it sound like they were just a dream. They weren’t. They were real. They meant something. Fuck.
"-The gods made a mistake." Cass whispered. He wasn’t going to throw them a bone. They didn’t need any favours from him. "I was supposed to live 30 or so more years in that world, but someone killed me early. And then, I was back. Back here, back to everything, but I had been living the life of someone else for so long it was hard...it was hard to be back."
Cass pointed towards the room. "This was how I died." Cass told her. "A falling beam from a construction site. That’s how I died. Pathetic, isn’t it?" Cass wanted to laugh, but his words only came out as a whisper. He was getting quieter and quieter as he spoke. Especially as Fiona said nothing. "Please talk, Fiona. I can’t handle you not talking. I never gave a fuck about demons and holy powers or any of that bullshit before now, but I know I haven’t been behaving normally. I know this sounds like a fucking lie, but I’m not. They forced me into forming a contract with them, those fucking fuckers. Even after they took everything away from me, twice." Cass whispered.
"I...I just don’t know what to say." Lady Fiona’s voice was confused. Rough. "I guess...I’ve never met a hero who disliked the gods as much as you do. I don’t think I hold a candle." She admitted and that made Cass snort.
"Trust me. I think I’ll win that contest for a while." Cass muttered. "Probably forever." Cass breathed, his heart in a lot of pain. "Do you...Do you believe me?" Cass asked. Waiting. Waiting for the verdict.
"I think it was a good idea to make sure no one else was around." Lady Fiona said after a long moment. "I can’t say Ava would have a positive reaction, but knowing that she watched your soul leave, and then come back...she probably would believe you. Gideon and Eddie? I don’t think you should ever tell them this." Cass nodded. He agreed. Temple-goers probably wouldn’t react well to this.
"Okay." Cass whispered and Lady Fiona sighed. Her hand tightened on Cass’ throat again.
"Lucy is the wild card. I don’t know how he’s going to react. He’s been so damn smitten with you recently..." She let out a small moan. "Oh fuck. We can’t tell him that he killed you, can we?" Cass shook his head. "He wouldn’t leave you alone if he discovered that." Cass nodded in agreement. They had had a conversation like this before, but now it held...more weight.
Lady Fiona sighed. The silence hung between them, thick. Heavy.
"So...you had a sister?" She asked and Cass swallowed.
"Yeah. Older. We were...we were orphans." Cass told her and Fiona huffed.
"Join the club." She muttered and Cass shook his head.
"You’re not an orphan here, Fiona. Just...hidden." Cass muttered and Lady Fiona used the grip she had on the back of his neck to tilt his head back. Her gaze was narrowed.
"What do you mean?" She asked and Cass glanced away. It wasn’t exactly like others couldn’t tell. As soon as Fiona had been brought before the royal family, Cass knew that others might have connected the dots.
The crown prince certainly had.
"Fiona...you have the same eyes." Cass mumbled. He knew it was slightly incoherent, and from the look Fiona gave him, she didn’t make the connection.
"I have the same eyes? What the hell does that mean? Who do I have the same eyes as?" She asked and Cass closed his eyes.
"I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell you. There’s a reason I didn’t tell you before now." Cass said and she growled. It sounded like an imitation of Lucian’s, and Cass smirked. It was pretty cute.
"Cassian. Tell me. If you have known all this time who my parents are, then you should have fucking told me!" She was angry, and Cass could relate. He let out a deep sigh.
"I can tell you, but I don’t think it’ll make you happy. Pretty sure your Mom is either passed away, or she abandoned you." Cass admitted and Fiona’s eyes blazed.
"So who’s the piece of shit who didn’t take me in? Hm? Who is it?" Cass felt bad, but he couldn’t exactly not tell her at this point. She held his life in her hands. Again. Or it had never left her hands in the first place.
"You’re related to the King, Fiona. Blood related. He’s most likely your Father since you share the same eyes which can only be passed down through blood. Which means, you have a higher claim to the throne then the current crown prince." Fiona looked ill at Cass’ words. He couldn’t blame her. He felt ill himself.
"What?" She whispered and Cass swallowed.
"Sorry to pile a bunch of secrets on you. My lips just feel a bit loose." Cass told her. He knew it was a lot to take in. He’d nearly died trying to get all of the information that was owed to him from Lord Blackburn.
Lady Fiona stood there, staring but not at Cass, through him. He let her, even as worry gnawed at him. Eventually, she let out a long, drawn out sigh.
"I get it. I see it too." She muttered. "Okay. Alright. Okay." She took a few deep breaths and Cass and her laughed as they both had similar reactions. It took some of the tension away from Cass, but he was still on pins and needles, worried about how she would respond.
Fiona didn’t leave him in suspension for too much longer.
"I...I understand where your concern is coming from. Honestly, I don’t really know how demons really occupy another body. I know as a hero I should have looked into it, but we’ve always had Ava and Eddie around so I never really bothered. With that said..." She trailed off. "You have the hero’s mark. And as a fellow hero..." She inhaled before exhaling quickly. "I get it. It feels...it’s always overwhelming. I don’t...I didn’t like it when I was first called on as the next hero to slay the demon king." Cass couldn’t breathe, worried. "Plus, if what you’ve said is true, it explains some things." She muttered.
Cass nodded slowly. It did explain some things, that was sure.
"I...I believe you. I mean, I can’t exactly deny it when we’re literally in your other life’s life. Even if it was the end of it." Fiona said and Cass felt his eyes water with relief.
"Oh fuck." Cass exclaimed, covering his face as more tears fell. Fiona started to panic.
"I’m not Lucy. I’ve never been good with tears." Fiona whispered quietly and Cass let out a laugh.
"You’ve been good with Ava’s." He shot back, teasing, and she huffed.
"I was lying. I was just trying to look good in front of her." She protested and Cass continued to cry. "Oh god. Lucy’s coming over. He looks pissed. Please, stop crying. I’d rather not get beaten up by my husband." She said, worried and Cass felt the words spill out of his mouth.
"Then divorce him. You don’t even have romantic feelings for him." Cass said and Fiona froze.
"Cassian. You know I can’t-"
"Who said you can’t? It’s just this country, isn’t it? Fuck it, Fiona. Why are you letting a man who you didn’t even know was your father control you? The nobles here don’t even respect you! Half of them know who you are, and they still don’t respect you. I know you get better treatment when we leave this country to close dungeons. Just...fuck this country, alright?" Cass spewed, before he froze.
"I can’t leave you guys here. It’s not fair for you either. You don’t think I haven’t noticed how they book events when you can’t attend? Do you think I haven’t seen that either? Why the hell would I leave you here, when I now know that you are in fucking danger?" Fiona whispered angrily and Cass raised his eyes, surprised by the anger in her tone. In her face.
"What?" Cass asked, shocked, and Fiona finally released his neck and Cass swayed. She caught him by his arms, making sure he didn’t fall off of the pallets.
"I know a lot of your secrets, Cassian, and you know mine too. Why the hell would I abandon someone who I realise has been looking out for me all this time without asking for a damn thing?" Fiona asked, her eyes watering. "Fuck. Cassian, I can’t even begin to understand whatever hell you just went though. No fucking wonder you’re having a breakdown. If I had to-" She cut off. "I was lucky. I only had to deal with auditory hallucinations when I had my dirty laundry aired. The demons didn’t even give you that luxury. I can’t-no, I won’t abandon you when you still need help." Her voice firmed, and Cass looked at her, hopeless.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He hadn’t even considered that she’d want to stay married to them! And it was to protect him? No! Get a divorce so that he could protect himself! They couldn’t even talk about this more because Lucian was getting within earshot. Fuck!