It wasn't until two days later that Charlie finally received news about Anya.
Anya had committed suicide.
Before her death, she suffered inhuman abuse and torture. Similar instances had occurred before, but never this severe.
The moment he received the news, Charlie felt as if something had struck him hard, and he curled up in his seat, trembling.
Immense guilt and fear consumed Charlie.
...
...
Wen Xishu's fall finally came to an end.
He suddenly found himself in a dilapidated attic, with numerous scattered books in the distance and a dusty, thorn-covered piano.
And not far away, there was a diary covered in dust.
This diary once had light, but the dust had dimmed its glow, threatening to dissipate at any moment. Yet in this gloomy place, it immediately caught Wen Xishu's attention.
Wen Xishu discovered that the letter in his hand suddenly shone brightly, and the light began to spread toward the diary.
This was a kind of guidance.
Wen Xishu seemed to understand something.
He tore open the envelope and handed over the page of the letter.
The dim light slowly merged with the intense glow.
The words in the tattered diary began to reveal themselves.
October 19th.
"I've actually heard some things about Charlie. Those people are really bad; I can hardly imagine… whether he will be able to accept kindness from others in the future.
I like Charlie. Recently, I've found that I seem to have regained the courage to live as long as Charlie is around, and those pains seem to stop hurting me once I confide in him.
The candies in his pocket are really sweet. I want to be best friends with Charlie. I want to walk with him forever, and I want to always see him in my view."
The diary illustration is of two embracing sparks.
October 22nd.
"Dad went crazy again today, and mom is hospitalized again. Maybe people like me are born to bring misfortune? Mom keeps saying it's all because of me, all because of me…
Because of me because of me because of me because of me… it's all because of me."
The diary still has illustrations, but it's more like swirls twisted from countless "because of me."
October 23rd (morning).
"I really… can't hold on. I miss Charlie so much, I want to see Charlie, even if he takes me away… or just gives me a hug. I really want to see Charlie."
The diary has no illustration.
There's only evidence of a girl's tears once soaking the page.
October 23rd (afternoon).
"I'm sorry, I'm such an unfortunate person. How can someone like me dare to hope for a hug from you? I've heard, the freak and the lunatic are together.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I've implicated you to be a freak.
I'm sorry… but I desperately want to hug you, I'm almost at my limit, Charlie, I'm losing strength. Why are you retreating too?"
A massive, deepening whirlpool dominates the entire page.
October 26th.
"This world is so frightening every day, but even if I shut my eyes, there would still be nightmares, right? But I seem to know how to escape the pain, I should have done it sooner."
The illustration is countless dust particles resembling the remnants after sparks have burned out.
On that day, Anya committed suicide.
Actually, Anya suffered from illness; in such an environment, she had long since developed severe depression. Light had also appeared in her life.
But Charlie, as that light, also had his painful memories.
Perhaps that hug could have brought a significant change in the girl's life. Yet Charlie's own experiences prevented him from taking that action.
Knowing all this, Charlie blamed Anya's death on his own incompetence and was engulfed in immense self-reproach.
If he could have stepped forward at that time, would Anya have survived?
If he had tightly hugged Anya, would their lives have changed?
But everything was too late; life doesn't allow "ifs."
A retreat during cowardice could create a lifelong regret.
The Hanged Man thus emerged, burying his remorse for Anya and the pain of the sparks' departure in a clock tower guarded by countless hanged men.
He began to deeply loathe this world, and loathe himself.
Wen Xishu had experienced much misfortune and suffering, misunderstandings between the An Family Brothers, Jack's protection and purity toward Jennifer, Xiaotong and Xiaoxing's mutual redemption.
He had witnessed countless emotions when doomsday arrived.
He thought he was someone who had experienced the storms, but he didn't expect the story of these two children would still leave him feeling blocked.
In the end, Wen Xishu laid flat the apology letter that had never been sent and was impossible to send. That letter, with blurred words, finally acquired new content.
"I always claimed to want to redeem you, but I can't overcome my past wounds. I'm sorry… Anya, I'm sorry, I really want to be lifelong friends with you; I want to see you every day in the future."
"I'm sorry, I haven't done anything. You won't forgive me, and please never forgive me."
Wen Xishu sighed deeply.
He knew what to do. He laid the letter flat, then placed it into the dusty diary.
The light from the letter gradually dispelled the dust on the diary.
This confrontation with the shadow of mourning, Anya, also came to an end.
"I've always been curious why this story didn't contain elements of doomsday; now, I seem to understand."
"Anya, Charlie actually cared about you so much; without you, even if this world didn't have doomsday, it would be doomsday for him."
"Charlie, Anya never resented you."
"You ask Anya never to forgive you, but actually, it's you who cannot forgive yourself. But Anya has already forgiven you."
Yes, Anya has already forgiven Charlie.
Wen Xishu now fully understands that with the shadow of mourning, Anya's attack, as long as you don't avoid or retreat, you can see the past of Anya and Charlie.
Several times, Wen Xishu thought he would die, but ended up surviving.
That terrifying impact merely opened up a path to Anya's heart. Even if it turned into a monster, it still wanted to be honest about its inner feelings.
In this broken attic, there was the mother's piano, the father's books… but these things were all covered by dust and thorns.
Only the diary.
After Charlie's apology letter arrived, the dust on the diary was removed.
"You have always been Anya's only light, Charlie."
Wen Xishu knew that saying these words was meaningless, but he hoped the child in the Land of Dust could hear.
He also realized how to break through the wall of rejection, to find that self-loathing child.