Chapter 448: A Demon’s Embrace
Looking at her with tired eyes, I found myself losing all strength in her embrace.
Letting her do whatever she wished with me.
With a gentle smile, she continued holding me close.
"Life has never been kind to you, my dear Frey... This is the first time I’ve ever seen you break like this."
"I’m tired, Sansa. I’m tired, and I can’t keep going anymore. This life has taken so much from me... all that’s left inside is emptiness, alongside a burning flame that keeps devouring me. And I don’t know where to unleash this searing fire..."
Listening to every word I spoke ..
Sansa held on to me even tighter.
"Why didn’t you let me finish it?" she asked softly. "I could’ve given him a merciful death. Then you wouldn’t have needed to stain your hands with your closest friend’s blood."
Hearing that, I found myself laughing again...
She really had tried to end it instead of me.
More than once.
But I never allowed her to.
"What happened to Danzo was my fault. Mine alone... and the responsibility is mine to bear. No one else’s."
"Why, Frey? Why do you torture yourself like this?"
"Because I’m a sinner. And this is my punishment."
"Even if it means losing yourself... and surrendering to the fate you’ve been running from all this time?"
"That’s right."
I answered without hesitation.
As I lay down on the bed beside Sansa,
I stared at the ceiling, lying on my back, while she lay beside me, gazing at my face.
"Tell me, Frey... would you die with me?"
Hearing that strange question, I turned toward her.
"Die... with you?" I asked unconsciously, and she nodded softly.
"Look at me. I’m a filthy demon who finds pleasure in the suffering of others. Even your agony right now, tearing you apart, I find it enticing... and beautiful."
Placing her hand over my face, Sansa smiled warmly.
"For me... I’ve already lost everything.
To the world, Sansa Valerion is already dead.
But there are still some eyes that see me as I truly am."
Her cold fingers wiped my tired eyes, and she let out a light laugh.
"You’re the only reason I keep going, Frey.
Even when I’m a filthy demon contradicting all that is alive...
So if you ever find yourself unable to go on .. If life tortures you beyond what you can bear .. Then let’s die together !"
"I can drown us both in my shadows.
We’ll die at the same moment...
A peaceful, gentle death.
An escape from the horrors of this world."
"Die together..."
I repeated quietly... and smiled as well.
What she said really did sound beautiful.
A perfect escape from all this suffering and torment that had torn me apart until now.
"We could do it someday... somewhere far away, where no one can see us."
Without realizing it, I followed along with her suicidal thoughts, causing her to nod.
"Someday... but not today, right?"
"..."
I didn’t answer.
I just stayed silent.
Dying now, here with Sansa...
Was that even possible?
To begin with, the Engineer would never allow me to die. So there was no point in even trying.
But for some reason, I felt that wasn’t the real answer.
"You can’t die, can you?"
As if seeing right through me, Sansa spoke quietly.
It was as though she had known this from the very start.
"That’s only natural, Frey.
You still have so much left to live for...
So much, really..."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to deny her words, but she was already several steps ahead.
"You have your sister, Ada."
"You have other friends .. just as precious as the one you killed with your own hands."
"You have a dark fate waiting for you in the future, and a destiny you’ll battle against, trying to change it...
You have so many things that keep you from dying, don’t you?"
I stayed silent.
Because I couldn’t deny her words.
Even if I lied to myself, claiming the Engineer wouldn’t let me die...
I couldn’t lie to her.
Because deep down, somewhere within me...
I refused it.
I refused to die.
"Then live, Frey.
Just as you’ve always done.
Perhaps the future still holds tragedies far darker and crueler than anything you’ve faced before...
But you’ll endure. And you’ll keep moving forward."
"...Sansa."
"You’ll suffer greatly, Frey. But at the very least... you won’t be alone."
"I’ll be with you, always. I’ll be your strength .. and your demon who torments your enemies."
"The Ultras? Let’s kill them all! Let’s go to the battlefield and slaughter them one by one!"
"We’ll keep moving forward.
And if one day, you decide you can’t go on any longer ..
Then you can reconsider my earlier offer.
Dying together in the end wouldn’t be so bad.
But let’s find a beautiful place for that, shall we?
I don’t want to die in the middle of a battlefield, covered in blood from head to toe."
Sansa kept talking without pause, pouring out all her wild thoughts.
I suppose, in her own way, she was getting back at me ..
After I had unloaded all my misery on her these past few days.
But hearing her ridiculous talk about suicide now...
I found myself laughing unconsciously.
The trembling that had overtaken me eased slightly, And for a brief moment, I regained a part of myself that I thought I had lost.
"You really are a demon, Sansa."
Perhaps others saw her as nothing but a filthy creature, spreading death wherever she went.
But to me... she was like a sedative.
A calming presence that kept me whole through the darkest nights.
I was truly grateful to her.
Because of her ..
I could still keep going.
It seemed she could see my thoughts clearly, Because she smiled at me and nodded.
"Finally... you should really stop showing me this weak side of yours. Otherwise, you won’t like what I’ll do next."
In response to her playful warning, I could only sigh and smile at her.
"Yes, my lady..."
In that moment, I realized how tightly Sansa was holding onto me.
Lying side by side, she wrapped me in a firm embrace.
"You’re not running away this time..." she whispered, as we slowly drew closer.
"I won’t,"
I replied softly, as our breaths intertwined one last time before our lips met for the first time ..
Bound together in a long, stolen kiss.
Sansa was fierce... as if she had been yearning for this moment for a very, very long time.
As if she were trying to draw something out of me.
I didn’t have the strength to push her away,
So I simply let her do as she pleased.
And so we kissed, passionately, for a long while...
A first kiss, then a second... then a third...
"Come to me."
Without even realizing it,
Sansa had become something irreplaceable in my life.