Chapter 387 Fighting To Stay Alive.
Rowan watched him for a while, Andar was not at his limits yet, but he was fast approaching, he would give him a few moments before he decided to intervene.
The girl Mira had a great technique for handling pain, but with Rowan's experience, it was not enough. The pain Andar was going through was on a scale of magnitude higher than what the technique she was impacting could handle.
Rowan was also partly at fault for this because Andar's physique was made to be very sensitive to all sorts of energy, everything that passed through his body would be felt far more deeply than everyone else.
For Rowan this would not be a problem, he craved such a thing, it would make his goal of understanding all forms of energies straightforward, but for the fragile mind of Andar, it may be too much.
What Mira was teaching Andar was to detach himself from the pain, and leave it behind while preserving his mind and mental faculties, this would not work for someone like Andar whose body was tens of times more sensitive than normal.
Also, Rowan did not believe in this approach to handling pain, his character had always been one that was intensely adamant and with his Empyrean bloodlines, his stubbornness had slowly been transformed into an unshakable faith in himself, that at the least could be judged as arrogance and at the most as fanaticism.
Rowan believed nothing could break him. Not pain, not despair, not loneliness, not failure, not loss…
Everything would come and it would pass, he would not back down from the fight.
Let the waves come, let them crash and churn, he would always remain, as unshakable as a Divine Mountain. He wanted to impact this character to Andar yet he wanted to be subtle, drastic changes would not work.
Rowan knew that they were most likely being monitored and he could not make extreme changes to Andar's character without inviting suspicion. What he could do however was to direct Andar's awareness about how to cope with the pain.
This situation was the best opportunity for Andar to change his mindset and grow. Finally deciding it was time, Rowan released a single spark inside Andar's mind — Rage!
It was just a spark, but that spark should carry enough power to light up a forest.
Then something happened that made Rowan astonished and even his main body far away stirred a little.
Andar's total life experience was short, and although it could not compare to the suffering and the harshness of Rowan's own, there were still lessons to learn, and sometimes children were the best receivers of experience, for their minds were still malleable and prone to change when stimulated.
This boy had been rejected by his mother on her path to find power, and although the Alchemist his master tried to hide the truth from him, Andar was not deceived for long. For all he knew his mother left him, because he was a failure, and her future was better off without him in it.
He understood then that in this universe, the only bargaining chip you had to play with was your personal strength. His mother understood it, and she left him behind, his Main body understood it. It was the reason he was fleeing to another galaxy as he grew his powers.
It was the reason his master had concealed him and paid the costly price to bring him the opportunity to come to the Trial Zone, it was all to give him the opportunity to stand on his own two feet and grow his personal power.
His Limit Breakers pushed beyond their limits to bring him here.
Mira used all her Scripts and followed his directions, just to bring him here.
Everyone had paid and contributed so much, just for him to be here.
Was he willing to fail just like that?
Experience was the best teacher and what was a better experience than death and suffering? When Rowan died his response to death and setbacks was to grow stronger, it was to make himself a fort against every pain and trial to come his way.
Andar's mindset was different from Rowan's, and even if he was a program, in a manner of speaking, he was possessing Rowan and he was his person, with his thoughts and feelings.
He was Andar with all the experience of Rowan, but he was free to choose if he would utilize that experience or fight against his setbacks by himself.
Rowan had given this new incarnation of his, this choice, and Andar began to feel sorrow, for even with this choice, he was still too weak to succeed on his own, after all the advantages he had been given.
Rowan's action of adding Rage to the mental struggles in his mind did not lead to the outcome he expected.
Andar's rage was no longer just directed at the pain but at himself!
It was important to note that when Rowan awakened Andar's Spirit Matrix, he did it almost instantly after he possessed his body. He could do this because of his power and experience but this action also revealed the truth to Andar.
It would have been extremely difficult for Andar to awaken by himself but it was not impossible. He had always blamed his impossible talent when all along, he was the reason for his failure. He was too weak-minded.
He let his failures drive him to give up, it even led to his shameful death. Andar did not believe in himself and he lacked the resolve to push through suffering and setbacks.
He had to be rescued from death and become someone else. His master may have died and sacrificed just for him to have this opportunity, and now when he faced new challenges, he had failed and help was coming once more…
He refused to accept…
How many times do I have to be rescued even with all my gifts?
This is the start of his journey to power, what right would he have to stand before the universe and proclaim his strength if he could not go through this tribulation?
It was just pain, even if it was so much pain it could kill him… it was still pain and he needed to fight it, using the talents he had.
In that short period when Andar wallowed in suffering, he went through the details of his life, and he came across the one thing that might save him and he seized it.
Because he knew that when Rowan brought his body back to life, he gave him a precious choice and another chance at life, and if he could not stand on his feet he would soon perish and what was left would only be Rowan.
Rowan had made a perfect copy. Perhaps too perfect.
Andar in his own way was still alive, and he was fighting.