Chapter 19: Chapter 19: We Are Professionally Trained, No Matter How Funny, We Just Laugh Out Loud
"Just joking, Uncle, I’m just trying to lighten the mood," Lin Li said, thinking that saying ’hire a lawyer’ sounded cool.
If it weren’t for the fact that adding curse words wouldn’t be appropriate, Lin Li really wanted to emulate Carl from "Shameless."
"Do you know my blood pressure has been constantly high because of your ’livening up’? Are all kids of your generation this abstract?" Yangliang was genuinely frustrated.
He was now more eager to meet Lin Li’s parents, to ask for parenting tips so he can completely avoid pitfalls.
"Not really, I’m quite exceptional, and there are few like me." Lin Li shook his head.
Among those around him who could clearly outshine him, maybe only Bai Bufan could, which is why they are best friends.
"Great, there’s still hope for the country," Yangliang heaved a sigh of relief.
Lin Li: "?"
A truly vulgar comment.
"I’ll ask, you answer," Yangliang waved his hand, realizing that if he left the initiative to Lin Li, things might go unexpectedly haywire.
"First, how did you know that Light Noble Health Club secretly offers erotic services?"
"A friend told me," when in doubt, involve a friend. "As for the friend’s name, I don’t think it’s necessary to mention it, right?"
"Actually, even if you mentioned it, we wouldn’t investigate him, but we understand if you choose not to; it’s your freedom." Yangliang nodded, this was only natural, then he asked the real question he was curious about:
"So, Xiaolin, why didn’t you report directly to us initially but instead went to... experience it firsthand before informing us?"
Ask me? Ask the system!
You think I wanted to sacrifice myself for the greater good?
I didn’t want to be personally involved either.
But I obviously couldn’t put it like that: "Firstly, my friend also heard this as a rumor and hadn’t actually been there, so to avoid reporting a false alarm, I had to verify the authenticity of the information and gather evidence.
So I went for a field investigation, and by the time I called you, I had already gathered the evidence.
Secondly, I must clarify that I truly remain pure and untainted despite being surrounded by troubles, my chastity is intact...
Uncle, what does that expression mean? You’re laughing, aren’t you? I’m being serious here."
"We’ve received professional training; no matter how funny the situation, we won’t laugh," Yangliang said earnestly, pressing his hand against his mouth.
"Unless you can’t help it?" Lin Li said, grinding his teeth.
"It’s not that, Xiaolin, I don’t want to believe you; it’s just that when I entered your room, none of you were wearing clothes," Yangliang recalled the scene, finding it hard to keep a straight face.
"No, speaking of that really gets me upset. First of all, it wasn’t ’none of us,’ it was only Xiaojing who wasn’t dressed, and only the top wasn’t clothed," Lin Li said more loudly this time, "And secondly, thankfully I have a recording to prove my innocence."
Lin Li took out his phone, played the latter half of two long recordings on fast forward, occasionally dragging the progress bar.
"..."
"Miss, please behave yourself!"
"..."
"Listen, listen, Uncle, I’m really innocent; I even said something silly like ’Miss, please behave yourself!’"
"Forty minutes, it’s forty hours! I’ve waited for you guys a whole forty days! Do you know how I’ve suffered pain and endured torture in these forty years of solitude, Officer!!"
Lin Li stood up, shouting hoarsely, his eyes slightly red, a bit too lost in the act.
Yangliang didn’t speak, took the phone from Lin Li, pulled the progress bar back a little, releasing Lin Li’s own voice:
".... A little to the left, yes, just press the calf muscle there, a bit more force, oh yes, yes, yes~~~ oh yeah~~~"
"In these forty years, were you suffering? Were you tortured? I didn’t hear that," Yangliang looked at Lin Li seriously and asked earnestly.
Listening to one’s own moans is quite embarrassing, knowing now that he was so loud, the years of undercover rage going to waste Lin Li scratched his head, sat down again, a bit sheepishly saying:
"Putting that aside, though my body felt comfortable, my mind was constantly tortured and tormented..."
Yangliang: "..."
Did you finish saying everything?
But he indeed believed now that Lin Li didn’t accept the shady services; it made sense. Even abstract thinking wouldn’t lead him to knowingly jump into a pit when they were about to arrive.
Pulling the recording to the end, when Xiaojing was about to force services on him, Lin Li said:
"You heard it, right? I didn’t know she undressed; if you guys had arrived a bit later, I would have been forced! Forty minutes, where is the delay? When I get back, I’ll report your negligence!"
Lin Li’s tone was grieved.
Clearly, Yangliang’s training on restraint wasn’t enough, he laughed heartily.
Lin Li looked over with even more grievance: "No explanation?"
Yangliang explained: "My teeth got too warm, I need to cool them."
"Not that explanation!"
Yangliang finally addressed Lin Li’s previous question: "Cough, cough, as for your point, we need to clarify that we received the notice immediately, and didn’t waste any time, but these places are cautious enough to have lookouts several street corners away to warn them.
To ensure the success of the operation, as you saw, we went in plain clothes, drove our own vehicles, additionally assembling the personnel, which took time. In fact, getting there in forty minutes was quick; you can’t blame us for this.
Furthermore, in your case, even if something did happen, after due consideration, we wouldn’t hold you responsible."
"What? You didn’t say so earlier? You’ve misled me!"
Yangliang: "?"
Seeing Lin Li’s remorse, Yangliang chuckled and shook his head, this kid really takes every chance he’s given.
"How is this brat so arrogant after being caught? You even wanted to sit handcuffed in a police car. Was it because you knew you’d be fine, and you wanted to experience it all?" Yangliang amusedly confirmed.
It’s clear to him now.
"Kind of, besides I couldn’t acknowledge myself to you guys right away; those caught were still there. What if there was retaliation afterward?" Lin Li nodded.
"You were indeed right to be cautious there, it should be so. Well, I have enough information for my report now; you’re free to go. I can give you a ride home.
If you want to take a picture at the door now, you can go directly to shoot, and I can drive you home in a police car to fulfill your last wish." Yangliang put away his notebook and pen, then said.
"Alright, but Uncle, I have one more thing."
"What is it, speak."
"It’s... for this undercover operation, I spent 399, which is an exceedingly expensive cost, you know, I’m still a student and it’s significant for me. There’s no need for you to reimburse it, but giving it back to me shouldn’t be a problem?"
Lin Li cautiously said.
This is 399! 798 packets of spicy sticks! 133 bottles of iced Lao Da tea! 1 Spring Breeze Elf (Zhang Fei edition)!
You could ride the rocking chair all day with that money.
If this money isn’t returned, Lin Li would be upset to death.
"But you got a massage, didn’t you?" Now it was Yangliang’s turn to tease Lin Li.
"That was at most a 99 service! I categorically refused the parts with extra charges! Uncle, can you return me 200, and the rest counts as your commission?" Lin Li argued.
"Commission my foot!" Yangliang laughed and cursed, "The money can certainly be refunded to you, and if there’s no mistake, as the informant, you should also be able to apply for a certain reward.
But right now, directly transferring money with her phone is illegal; I can’t do it like this, there needs to be procedure and steps to follow. If you’re short on money, I can transfer my own money to you, and once you get the refund, you return it to me."
"No hurry, I can wait."
Lin Li waved his hand indifferently; he still had plenty of living expenses, as long as the money came back, it’s all good.
"Is there anything else?" Yangliang asked.
"Yes," Lin Li thought for a moment, then nodded.
"What is it?"
"Can Xiaojing and I go out alone for 20 minutes? Ten minutes would do... Five minutes... no, five minutes is too short."
Seeing Lin Li eager, Yangliang: "?"
"I have important things to ask her, oh and prepare me a 1.8 by 2-meter bed with a Sealy mattress, also jelly, popping candy, ice cream——"
"Shut up, go home."
"Okay, Uncle!"