331 Opening up (2)
Less than an hour later, Alessandra returned home after her stop at the church. Peter’s words about letting change happen weighed her mind from the moment she entered the gates.
Alessandra spoke to Peter about the new people in her life and how she wished to be more open with them about her fears and insecurities. Peter was quite helpful in motivating her to let the people she cared for see her for who she truly was.
Alessandra requested to be left alone while she went to her room to decide to take another big step in continuing to change. At least it would be a big step for the people who were currently here.
Alessandra entered her room, going straight to sit at her table with the large mirror. She stared at herself in the mirror, something she rarely did in the past when she lived with her father. She gained enough courage thanks to Edgar to look at herself and not hate the mask she wore.
Alessandra slowly took off the black mask she wore today and leaned forward to inspect the scars on her face. Compared to when she showed Edgar her face on their trip, they were starting to become less apparent since she started to use the cream from the palace. If only she had the means to take better care of her face in the past, they might be completely gone by now.
“They are hardly visible up close,” she whispered. If someone only looked at her from a distance, they would see nothing wrong. There were only a few thin visible lines from where she had been scratched but it was better now than it was in the past. “I can stop hiding behind this mask at least around the people here,” she said, touching the mask on the desk.
The mask she wore daily burdened her with her past insecurities and troubles, not allowing her to be fully confident in herself. It wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be to open up to Edgar about her past so she knew it would also be easy with the others here.
Alessandra took a deep breath before starting to braid her hair back so it would not be in the way to cover her face. “The next party we attend, I shall not wear this mask,” she made a goal for herself.
Alessandra smiled at her reflection and for the first time in years, she liked the person who was staring back at her without the mask. Peter might be a weird priest but their conversation after she prayed for Alfred helped her as they talked about letting go of the past and starting fresh.
.....
“I will go to Alfred first,” she decided as the second person she wanted to show herself without the mask. After Alfred, it would be Sally and perhaps Caleb.
Feeling a ball of fur by her feet, Alessandra peaked under the table only to find the black kitten playing there. “Hello. Do you mind coming with me to visit Alfred? You can help calm my nerves. You didn’t bite me,” Alessandra said when she wasn’t bitten on her finger the moment she tried to pick up the kitten. “Are you being nice to me because I am not wearing a mask? Did it scare you?”
Alessandra stood up with the kitten in her arms to go back downstairs. She was calm when she sat before the mirror but as she left her bedroom, each step added weight to her shoulder. Determined, Alessandra never once gave in to the urge to turn around and go back for her mask.
“Duc-Ah!” A passing maid exclaimed. The shock was written all over her face as she looked right at Alessandra’s face without the mask. She quickly averted her eyes to avoid the curse the rumors spoke of. The maid wanted to explain herself before she could be scolded for her reaction. “D-Duchess-”
“Don’t,” Alessandra stopped right beside the maid. “You don’t have to look at me if it scares you. I will not explain anymore that I am not cursed. However, I will consider letting you go if you are going to continue believing in what is obviously a tale made up for gossip.”
Alessandra left the maids’ side, continuing to walk to where Alfred was resting. She ignored the shocked expressions of the other maids she passed. They were bound to react this way after she had come into this house wearing her mask and never taken it off before them.
Alessandra didn’t mind their stares. It was their words and what they would speak of her being cursed that she would not tolerate. Alessandra wasn’t going to let that rumor stay alive in her own home.
If the maids weren’t careful with the things they spoke after this moment, they would have to be less concerned about a nonexistent curse and more concerned about Edgar.
“Duchess!” Sally’s voice interrupted Alessandra’s thoughts. “You…I… What is happening?” Sally asked, completely surprised by the sight before her. “Am I dreaming or am I drunk?”
Alessandra was glad she walked into Sally to take her mind off the maids for now. “Why would you be drunk, Sally? We just returned home so it is too soon for you to be drunk already. Does it scare you like everyone else? I had a sudden urge to be without my mask after talking with Peter.”
“It does not scare me. It is just a bit strange to see you without your mask. You are a beautiful Duchess. Not that you weren’t before. The side you showed was always beautiful and I wondered why people would avoid you considering you are beautiful. Then again, I can’t say that because when I worked for your father, I denied how beautiful you were because of the cursed rumors,” Sally started to ramble.
Alessandra placed the kitten on top of Sally’s head to end her endless thoughts. “Take a deep breath before you choke on your words, Sally. I know what you meant from the very beginning,” she replied.
“First, I do not trust this cat,” Sally pointed to the kitten on her head. It won’t be long before it stops laying there and starts to scratch her head. Sally removed the kitten and the moment she touched it, she was scratched. “I am happy that you’ve finally taken off the mask. Now those horrible women won’t have something to take a jab at.”
“I think it won’t be hard for them to start talking about my face instead of my mask. Since you have not commented on the scars, I take it they are less evident than I presume them to be,” said Alessandra.
Sally was confused by the mention of scars. She took a step forward to inspect Alessandra’s face and after squinting her eyes, she found a mark. “I would not have noticed it if you had not mentioned it. Was that what you were hiding all along? Were they more prominent at one time?”
“Yes. Perhaps I imagine them to be more prominent when I looked in the mirror just now. They have healed over the years but at one point, you could see many lines of where Kate clawed at my face in the past. Edgar received a special cream from the palace which has helped me to take better care of my skin,” Alessandra explained. She continued to walk down the stairs to go to Alfred.
“I don’t know what you were seeing but there is hardly anything wrong with your face. I can only find a few faded lines if I compare the sides of your face. You are beautiful. I’m sorry for repeating it but I can’t help it. With the mask gone, your beauty truly comes out and there is a glow to you. It must be the cream you mentioned. I can see why your sister hates you,” Sally only now realized.
Alessandra was more beautiful now than in the past because she didn’t seem so gloomy all the time. She was happy here with the Duke and she smiled more often. Her personality also added to her beauty. Sally always thought the side Alessandra showed was pretty but she didn’t think it was solely what made Kate hate her own sister. Now, she knew she was wrong.
“You are a mask from a young age,” Sally softly spoke, trying to put the story together. “I can only imagine how pretty you must have been as a child. I thought Kate hated you because your rumors affected her at one point. She loves her reputation so much but it wasn’t the rumors. She must have felt second in comparison to you and that hatred never went away. I mean, you are far better looking,” she muttered what she considered the truth and it wasn’t just because she liked Alessandra more.
“You are not wrong. Our father pitted us against each other when we were younger and I was the one he paraded around before te accident. Kate’s hatred toward me started then. I don’t know why she continued to bother herself with me as we got older and I was still wearing the mask. Everyone spoke of her beauty all the time.”
“Well, you might not see your beauty but I think as you grew older Kate continued to see it even though you wore a mask. She has no other reason to hate you aside from being jealous. Oh! And the fact you stole Edgar,” Sally added since Kate used to be obsessed with Edgar