243 [Bonus chapter] Gentle touch (1)
“Alessandra-”
“No! That was wrong and regardless of what emotion you are feeling right now, you should be able to admit that was wrong. I feel like an idiot for not pushing you away. I said I wouldn’t have feelings for him and then this happens. I cannot imagine what it was like for him to stand there,” Alessandra said, feeling ashamed of herself for taking part in Edgar making Mario jealous.
She tried to leave once more but Edgar grabbed her hand.
“Alessandra, was it right for him to mention what could have been to a woman who is married? What was the point of him bringing that up now? To make you consider him over me now that he has confirmed his feelings? I let him inside only for him to utter a bunch of bullshit,” Edgar argued.
Alessandra understood why Edgar was angry. He had been right about Mario liking her from the very beginning and after he pushed how he felt about Mario to the side, a confession was made when he was not around. She wouldn’t have been pleased with a woman from Edgar’s past coming into their home and mentioning what could have been. It was not something she found suitable to mention to a married person who gave their life and heart to someone else already.
Still, Alessandra didn’t like being used to make Mario jealous or hurt him. “I am not saying that what he chose to say at the moment was right but I do not like that you only kissed me to make him jealous.”
“I did both. I kissed you to make him jealous and because I wanted to,” Edgar replied.
“Jealous of what? I have told you that I don’t feel anything for Mario. He could say he likes me a million times or wonder what would have happened if he had taken me away from my father but my feelings would never change. Isn’t that enough for you to not need to do stupid tricks to mess with him? I don’t want to talk about this any further. Just leave me alone for now. I do not want to argue with you.”
Alessandra reached to remove Edgar’s hand that was holding her but before she could touch him, he let go.
.....
“I’m sorry for using you to play with his feelings,” Edgar apologized. The last thing he wanted to come from this was for him and Alessandra to be at odds. “I should have taken matters into my own hands and by matters I mean him. I should have thrown him out.”
“I wouldn’t have been pleased with that either,” Alessandra said.
“Before you get angry with me for the rest of the day, put yourself in my shoes, Alessandra. Would you be comfortable with me bringing around someone who has feelings for me into our home? Would you be okay if me and that woman were alone in a room and she confessed her feelings? Even if you trust me, wouldn’t you want to do something to remind her that your husband is taken?”
If Alessandra would not be honest with herself and her answer was a clear lie, Edgar would have no issue calling her out on it.
“I would not be happy with it but I do not feel good that he witnessed that. I would not like that done to me. I can’t help being angry with you. Perhaps I am misdirecting my anger because I am sorry for not being able to reciprocate his feelings or that fact he will have to move out of town because of me. I don’t want to fight with you so please let’s talk about this later or never,” Alessandra muttered as she desperately wanted the moment to pass.
The longer they stood here the more she kept feeling bad for Mario.
“Am I to find another bedroom to sleep in tonight?” Edgar asked.
“No. That would be a little bit dramatic and I wouldn’t want anyone to start gossiping or worry about us sleeping apart. Specifically Alfred. I can already picture him freaking out. I will see you for dinner,” Alessandra said, then walked up the stairs to find a room to be alone.
Edgar placed a hand in his pockets as he watched her walk upstairs alone. There was nothing that happened a moment ago that he regretted besides letting the cook inside his home. He would find a way to give the cook enough money to pay off his debts and get the hell out of town right away. Edgar didn’t trust that if Mario could stay in town, he wouldn’t do his best to make Alessandra think she made a mistake.
Lockwood had its fair share of people with one-sided feelings not knowing when to give up as the person they loved either shared no feelings or was taken. Edgar had watched at many parties where the drama unfolded when someone wanted to shout at the top of their lungs how someone else made a huge mistake and then confess their love. Edgar was not in the mood to have his marriage become a drama to be watched at the theater.
“Jealousy sure is a pain in the ass, isn’t it?” Caleb questioned. He had been on the sidelines since he arrived back home with Edgar and was surprised no one had noticed him. “I thought the Duchess was going to stay angry at you but you two were able to talk it out. Remember when you used to shake your head at people being jealous and now you find yourself in that position? Better yet, your wife almost made you have to sleep in another bedroom. She might think about it and become angrier.”
Edgar’s mood felt worse now that Caleb was rubbing in the fact Alessandra wanted space.
“I honestly understand you kissing her then and there. It’s a man thing. I would’ve done a whole lot more than that,” Caleb continued his rambling.
“Caleb,” Edgar said.
“Yes, Duke?”
“Shut the hell up,” Edgar ordered him. “I don’t need to hear from a man with a one-sided crush. You are no different from the cook.”
“Don’t be mad at me since you pissed your wife off,” Caleb grumbled but quickly regretted his words when he saw Edgar heading straight for him. “Oh shit.”