196 The mask comes off (2)
Edgar noted how her mood had changed from excitement to nervousness but did not comment on it. He thought of any serious conversations they needed to have and came to the conclusion she either wanted to talk about the contract or her family. He sat down to the right of her and waited patiently for her to have the courage to say what was on her mind.
“No going back,” Alessandra took a deep breath. “I know I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the rest of this trip as much as I should if I did not get this off of my chest. Remember you are to only listen to what I have to say. ”
“I know.”
“Right. Where do I start? I have few memories of my life before my father married Katrina but I remember my mother’s face even after she ran away. I was only four and I had to deal with my mother leaving us alongside this new mother showing up. My mother ran away during the holidays while everyone was preparing for the festivities. By the new year, Katrina was moving in and I was getting a sister. I wanted my mother back but I liked having a sibling,” Alessandra smiled as she looked back at the memory.
If only her younger self would know how much hell it would bring to have a new mother and sibling.
“At first, everything was fine and I got used to my mother not being around. You might not believe this but Kate and I got along well for a couple of years when she was young which is why I pity her. Before Kate was our father’s pride and joy, I was. It was insufferable,” Alessandra clenched her fist. “He would parade me around to everyone to show off his perfect daughter.”
Alessandra enjoyed her father’s attention at first but then it started to suffocate her. Each time they spoke he would comment on her need to always look pretty in front of others and keep her mouth shut. He was trying to advertise her as the perfect daughter-in-law in the making.
“We had no financial problems then so Kate and I were signed up for dance lessons, learning to paint, sing, set tables, and worst of all embroidery. My talent in painting gave him something more to boast about. Kate was young so there was nothing she was good at yet. This unfortunately meant he ignored her. She started to drift away from me wishing to be in the spot I so desperately wanted to get out of,” said Alessandra.
She continued to say, “I noticed her feelings toward me but I ignored them. Katrina also started to dislike the attention that was on me and not Kate. Kate started to strive to be perfect enough for our father but she never was in his eyes. It’s his fault honestly. He should have never played favorites. Kate’s jealousy started from a young age because of it.”
.....
“The more my father paraded me around to show off his pretty talented daughter, the more I felt like a doll and hated my face. When I was twelve and Kate was eight, she came to my room and invited me down to the garden to play. It was night and it wasn’t allowed but it had been so long since she wanted to play with me so I followed her down. She had the biggest smile on her face,” said Alessandra.
It was the first time she ever had that funny feeling warning her to run away but as an older sister who just wanted to have fun, she followed Kate.
“She led me to the darkest part of the garden where the lanterns were the only thing to offer us light. I remember her staring at me with so much hatred. Kate started to tell me about how happy I must be to gloat in her face about being my father’s favorite. To have him shower me with pretty dresses and ribbons to add to my beauty. She smiled and said her mother told her that her time was only going to come if she took matters into her own hands.”
Edgar clenched his fists to control his anger. It was evident Katrina had never ben a good mother to both Alessandra and Kate.
“I wasn’t expecting her to attack ms so she was able to knock me off my feet and sit on top of me. The left side of my face was buried in the ground while she clawed away at the right side. I can still feel how much it burned as my skin ripped open. I’m starting to think Katrina plotted this entire thing as Kate used jewelry that Katrina wore on her fingers like claws. It was never easy to sneak into Katrina’s room to take something.”
“Alessandra-”
“You are meant to be quiet,” she quickly stopped him. “I managed to push her off of me before she could ruin my eye. I remember being so angry that she was doing this to me because she wanted my father’s attention. I wanted to let her know how much of a burden it was to help him look good in front of his friends. I cried not just because I was in pain but from how tired I was.”
“Even though I was in that state with half my face ruined, Kate was not satisfied. She grabbed a lantern and tried to throw it on me to catch fire but by some luck, father arrived in time. He was the last person I wanted to see as he caused this and I was so frustrated that I clawed at my face to finish what Kate started so I guess I can’t blame her for all the marks.”
Feeling like a weight was lifted off her shoulder now that someone knew what happened, Alessandra touched her mask. “I hated when my father saw me as pretty but then hated my face after he found me useless. I’ve been conflicted for many years as I did not know what I wanted and it was hard to love myself. Luckily, you have helped me step out of my shell so I am going to accept my scars and enjoy the person that I am.”
Alessandra removed the mask and showed Edgar the side of her face she kept hidden for nine years. “You are free to speak now and y-you have to be honest with me. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings,” she said as she gripped her dress and awaited his answer.
Alessandra flinched when Edgar moved her hair back to get a better look at her damaged face.
Edgar took in the sight of the faint marks on her face. Nothing about them changed what he felt. Her beauty was still clear as day as the wounds healed over the years but Alessandra must see her face differently. “You are beautiful-”
“I said to be honest. Do not say what you think I want to hear.”
Edgar gently rubbed his thumb along her right cheek, soothing the marks as he did so. “I have been honest with you from the moment I met you. Have I not?”