Chapter 3: The ‘If It Were Me’ Skill
I kept silent in front of the turntable.
It wasn’t for any grand reason.
The protagonist had to be the music, not me.
I chose songs considering the weather that day, the audience’s mood, the gender ratio, and even social issues.
Even if it seemed like I only played EDM with similar beats, if you listened closely, each one was different.
No song under the sky was the same. Every track held the intention of its composer.
Finding that, showcasing it to the public, and remixing it with my own methods—that was why I stood at the turntable.
The moment a DJ spoke, all eyes turned to them.
Hearing was pure.
I could move the audience according to my intention.
I could make them dance or sway, intoxicated by melancholy.
Occasionally, a cheer slipped out when I got carried away, but I never indulged in small talk. That was my principle.
So yeah, this was utterly ridiculous.
“You know I’m right, which is why you’re speechless.”
Han Yujin.
How did she figure me out just from a cheer?
I was curious. Was she some kind of super-hearing agent?
“Right. But how did you know?”
“Oh, I like that straightforwardness. If you answer my question, I’ll answer yours too.”
“You want to hear it first?”
“Why do you wear a mask?”
“……Is it weird?”
“……?”
“……?”
Why, you ask?
……Because it’s embarrassing, that’s why.
There were tons of strangers. Show my face openly in a place like that?
For someone introverted, it was torture.
Besides, DJ Blackhole and Seo Taeyoon had to be different people.
To fully feel the atmosphere there, it had to be that way.
“Wouldn’t it be good if someone recognized you, cheered for you, and you became famous?”
“Doesn’t it depend on the person?”
Well. I could see how Han Yujin might find it odd.
Celebrities had to stand out even if it meant crying blood.
Like… the complete opposite of me?
“Not bad for identity branding… but it’s a shame. Not being able to show your face.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you look in the mirror?”
“I do?”
What was that? Did I just imagine a faint sigh?
Whatever.
I just had to accomplish my goal.
“You heard my answer, right? How did you recognize me by my voice?”
Han Yujin then cleared her throat and shouted confidently.
“Hold The Beat!”
“Ahhhhh! Stop!”
This time, I heard a stifled laugh over the receiver.
No, not that. Don’t do that.
“I go to Sierra to hear you shout ‘Holder Beat!’ and scratch—your tone came through the phone loud and clear.”
“…….”
“Hello? Teacher?”
So this was…
Hold the beat.
Something I’d shout when I got hyped.
Before a special performance, it was the cheer I often used to start.
You could call it a signature sound?
You know how famous composers add their voice to a track like “JYP~ Presents~” at the start?
Someday, for sure.
When I made my own real music, I definitely wanted to add a signature sound like that.
Of course, I added it at the start of Lunatic Beat too.
That “Holder Beat~” that made your body move the moment it played.
That “Holder Beat~” that made people go “Ah~” and think of me instantly.
That was the sound I wanted to create…
“Holder Beat Holder Beat, such a fun song. I’m singing it too.”
Ugh, that’s not how you do it.
Still, hearing it now made me feel a bit shy.
Han Yujin was really… unexpected.
When I saw her in front of the club, she seemed to carry a gloomy shadow, but talking to her like this, she had a playful side.
“Let’s hear it live.”
“What?”
“Holder Beat, I mean.”
“Huh?”
“The rhythm, your voice, all of it is great. That’s not all, right? The mixing, the song selection, your focus on the music. I’m glad you’re performing again. Am I your first fan? And… thanks for reaching out. Really.”
Ah…
My face turned hot.
She recognized me, said she liked my performance, and told me directly that she was a fan.
So this was how it felt.
I used to think hiding my face and staying anonymous was the only way.
But to be acknowledged by someone, to talk about music like this—who knew it could be this thrilling?
I guess I did secretly enjoy the attention too. I did.
Maybe Han Yujin felt the same.
If so, I couldn’t just sit still.
A heartwarming compliment relay—nothing wrong with that.
I decided to recognize Han Yujin too, just like she had done for me.
“I’ve been enjoying your music.”
“Do you like idols? You’re about that age, right?”
We’re barely a few years apart, though.
“No. Not the idol days. Your single album, Han Yujin.”
“Come on. That album totally flopped, and everyone knows it.”
“Just because the album didn’t do well doesn’t mean the creator’s sincerity disappears, does it?”
“Huh? What do you mean…?”
“I meant I enjoyed listening to ‘Fizz!’”
“……I only sang that…… you know?”
From her dragging response, I could tell she wasn’t being sincere.
She was bad at lying.
“You’re the one who composed it, right?”
“Uh…… yeah, I did. But……”
“Oh, I knew it. Why did you credit it under a pseudonym?”
“……Are you serious? No, more importantly—how did you know? Wait, hold on.”
What was this? Why was she rambling?
I could hear the fluster in her voice.
I guessed that could happen when something hit you hard.
I was pretty flustered too when Han Yujin recognized me.
“I just got the feeling as soon as I heard it.”
“What kind of feeling?”
“That the person who sang it also wrote it.”
“You’re lying.”
“Why would I lie?”
“How can you know that?”
“I can hear it.”
“You can hear it? Hear what?”
“The person singing keeps saying it, right? Like, ‘Please listen to me. I made this. I’m really enjoying it, okay? So you have to enjoy it with me too.’”
“……So, did you enjoy it?”
“Can I be honest?”
“Of course.”
What should I say?
I carefully chose my words. I knew how to be polite, after all.
After thinking it through, I finally said this.
“It didn’t sound fun at all.”
“……”
“It sounded kind of… forced happy, I guess.”
“……”
“Why does it have to be like that? Sometimes, shouldn’t we be allowed to do what we want? Isn’t that a creator’s privilege?”
“What I want……”
On the other end of the line, Han Yujin stayed silent for a while.
“Hello? Ah, mic test.”
No way she fell asleep during the call?
Or was she just that moved?
If we had talked any longer, I might have said the song wasn’t bubbly but chaotic.
Thinking I was lucky to have stopped there, I pressed the end call button.
Anyway, I kept my promise!
“It didn’t sound fun at all.”
Han Yujin short-circuited at Taeyoon’s words.
Because she was upset? No.
Because her secret was revealed? No.
Because he was blunt? No. All wrong.
“Really…… it sounded like that?”
It was the first time. She’d never been criticized this directly before.
“Fizz!”
Han Yujin’s debut single title.
It flopped. No matter how much she tried to sugarcoat it, that was the truth.
She thought she could get by on her existing fanbase, but the limit was clear.
She got a killer beat, the best lyricist joined, and Han Yujin herself wrote the melody.
She thought it would go well. She even tried a little masquerade by using a pseudonym.
If the song did well, she planned to go ta-da! and reveal the surprise.
“Everyone! I wrote the song too! What do you think! Surprised, right?”
But she never got to reveal she was the composer. It wouldn’t have been a twist—it would have been a backlash.
[ Han Yujin’s single is a total disappointment ;; ]
Is the agency even doing their job?
Heard the beat and went oh…… then heard the melody and went huh? Totally lost the vibe.
↳ What even is this song?
↳ Is ToMe Entertainment slacking?
↳↳ Their name fits lately. Totally “to me,” huh.
↳ How could they do this to Han Yujin?
↳ It’s definitely trendy, but something’s off, right?
↳ The composition is the problem.
↳↳ Why’d they use a rookie composer? Are they broke?
↳ How much money has Han Yujin made them, and they do this? Dang.
All she could do was sigh.
Why had she thought it would succeed so easily?
She had studied composition and MIDI for a long time.
She’d puffed herself up. Felt like a real singer-songwriter.
But composing wasn’t as easy as she thought.
She should’ve listened when people told her to stop.
If she had revealed herself as the composer Han Yujin……!
Her mind reeled. Yeah, better to keep it a secret forever.
She thought it would stay a permanent secret.
There hadn’t been any leaks.
Everyone had just tried to comfort her.
“It’s always like that the first time. But at least you tried what you wanted, right? No regrets.”
“Your next album will do better. For a first time, that was good.”
“You’ve got talent. No one gets it perfect on the first try.”
“We’ll find you a good song. Don’t worry.”
People who didn’t know blamed the composer or the company. That only made her feel worse.
She wanted to cling to someone, anyone, and vent.
What was the problem? She had done her best.
Since her idol days, she had worked hard to fit the image people wanted.
She always had to be energetic. Fresh and bright. That was the Han Yujin people expected to see.
Naturally, her single followed that vibe too.
Screaming “Fizz!” while looking fresh into the camera with a wink, running around the stage in uncomfortable heels, worrying whether her precarious top might slip down.
“What am I supposed to do now.”
Han Yujin let out a deep sigh.
A concept was strategy. It couldn’t be changed easily. It shouldn’t be.
It wasn’t just about image or style anymore. Music, visuals, performance… these days, it included even the overarching storyline—a complete identity.
Even though the style of the songs changed little by little, the direction always stayed the same.
She acted out a sweet and fragrant vibe, like fruit juice bursting.
A so-called “solidification” strategy.
But this could easily cause fatigue among the public.
A boring sense of stagnation.
A formulaic image that looked like something you’d seen somewhere before.
That’s how it could appear.
“Is it time for a change?”
Everyone dreams of change. But change is a risk.
She had seen countless seniors try to flip their image and get devoured by their new concept.
She would rather people say the song was bad than hear them say she was forcing herself with a concept.
Appealing with an original charm? Everyone wants that.
The problem is, that’s easier said than done.
Even so…
Today, her feelings were a little different.
“Why does this feel comforting?”
She felt a little at ease.
Thanks to Taeyoon.
It definitely wasn’t comfort. Technically, it was a blunt comment. Some might even call it rude.
Still, she kept replaying his words in her head.
It wasn’t that he saw through her heart.
It was that, for the first time, someone recognized it.
“I should’ve said goodbye properly before hanging up.”
There are days when you want to pour your heart out to someone. Today was one of those days.
Han Yujin picked up her phone again.
[Thank you for today. I’m looking forward to Lunatic Beat. And about what you said earlier, I thought about it… (skipped) …I really do have something I want to do… (skipped) …don’t you ever get that feeling? Like you really want to express something? I don’t even know how to describe it properly.]
Maybe it was because they had shared a secret.
But somehow, Taeyoon now felt like an old friend.
Without realizing it, she confessed her true feelings.
She wanted to be comforted. She wondered how warm Taeyoon’s comfort would be.
Not long after, a reply arrived.
[I know exactly what that feeling is.]
[Oh, what is it?]
Thump, thump.
She waited for his reply with anticipation.
[Art disease.]
“……!”
Was this… right?
I wasn’t exactly a fan of Han Yujin.
But I usually listened to most newly released music.
Genre or nationality of the artist didn’t matter to me.
I just listened to music a bit differently.
I focused on each instrument separately.
Sometimes, I asked questions that couldn’t be answered.
“Why did you make this part like this?”
That naturally led me to analyzing songs and eventually DJing.
“If it were me, I would’ve done it this way.”
That was the start.
That’s what arranging is. Tweaking something someone else already completed.
Taking apart a song to analyze the instruments, to figure out what the composer and arranger intended.
That was both study and a hobby for me.
In that sense, Han Yujin’s “Fizz” was a rather special song.
I felt it the moment I heard it.
The singer and composer were the same person.
I was absolutely sure. You just know when you hear it. The singer sounded too comfortable with the song. I figured it must’ve been Han Yujin herself.
So I was a little surprised when I looked at the credits.
[Composed by: Jeden]
There’s no way, right? There’s no way I was wrong?
I searched the internet.
Hoping to find even a small hint.
I found nothing, so I figured… maybe it’s just one of those things. Pseudonyms are common, after all.
But today, finally! The mystery had been solved!
It was electrifying. Like I’d scored a silent win no one else knew about.
Then suddenly, I grew curious about the girl in that song.
“Why did Han Yujin make that kind of song?”
It felt like ill-fitting clothes. That was the perfect expression.
She was such a great model that any outfit looked good, but it felt like she was uncomfortable in them.
Again today, I activated my “If it were me” skill and sat down in front of my computer.
It was the first time.
That a melody had popped into my head after thinking about someone.
That’s how, for the first time, I started creating a tailored outfit—just for someone.