Chapter 138: Was It Really His Fault?
Su Xingyan raised his head with some surprise, but suddenly didn’t know what to say.
The Emperor continued, "Yan’er, you are still young, and inevitably there will be deviations in many matters. If I were to punish you heavily for this, you would surely be dissatisfied. Ever since you were young, I have taught you that as a person in this world, you must at least have a clear conscience to be at peace with yourself. I don’t know how much you have actually taken in from the things I have taught you over the years, but in any case, I do not wish that you would easily lose yourself because of certain matters. The marriage between you and Jing’er is a minor matter, yet look at yourself—it has turned into such an issue. Do you still think you did nothing wrong? Don’t be so quick to find reasons in others; if you don’t even know where you were wrong, you will never find the reason. You used to be the child I trusted the most—gentle, steady, kind to others, even the ministers praised you. You might think that your aunt asked me to arrange the marriage with Jing’er just because Jing’er likes you, but don’t forget how clever your aunt is. If you were as irritable and quick to anger as you are now, wanting to harm someone over trivial matters, your aunt would never let Jing’er act recklessly. And if you were still the way you used to be, even if Jing’er wanted to annul the engagement with you now, your aunt would reconsider carefully."
"I have said, if you truly resist this marriage, I won’t force you. Now that I have already agreed to annul this marriage, you have your wish. After returning to the capital, you should stay in the mansion and recuperate. In the meantime, think carefully about where the problem lies that led to this situation. Life is your own, I cannot control it, and how you will walk the path ahead is also your concern. Yan’er, I have always had high hopes for you, and I hope in the end, you won’t disappoint me." The Emperor waved his hand, "You may go, I have already said what needs to be said. Just a final reminder: there is no medicine for regret in this world. Some things, some people, once missed, can never be retrieved."
As a father, there is only so much the Emperor could do.
He was also weary at heart, managing state affairs all day was not enough to keep him busy, he also had to worry about the younger generation’s issues; each one being more troublesome than the last!
Su Xingyan didn’t know how he walked out; he never imagined that his father could speak to him so earnestly and at such length.
Regarding the arranged marriage, he deeply resented his father, once believing that, in his father’s heart, his own position as a son was insignificant, and even Han Jing was more important in his father’s eyes. But today, he suddenly realized that it might not be like that at all.
Could it be that he was truly in the wrong?
But where did he go wrong? Had he changed? Yet, it was all driven by Han Jing! If Han Jing hadn’t been so infuriating every time, how could he have lost control of his temper, from merely disliking her, to wanting to punish her severely, and finally, wishing she were dead! Wasn’t this progression all caused by Han Jing? Where did he go wrong?
But did he really want Han Jing to die? Now that Han Jing had truly annulled their engagement and had no connection to him anymore, was he happy? Satisfied?