I was once registered in the Guinness Book of Records. As the person who lived the dullest life on Earth.
Obviously, that was a lie — but that’s how boring my daily routine was. And even after getting possessed into this game world, that didn’t change.
I’d wake up, brew some coffee, read newspapers on domestic and global affairs, then move on to physical training, illusion research, a meal, and more training — either mana control or practice with the Giant Soldier’s Sword○. The unsummoned, unactivated hand movements.
Eventually, I even got to the point where I could flick someone’s forehead.
KA-BOOM!!
A violent shockwave exploded out.
It was a forehead flick at siege-weapon-level force.
Anyway. There wasn’t really a reason I lived like this. It was just my personality — I didn’t find much joy in anything.
In the past, I used to fake enjoyment by copying what others did... but after getting cancer, my thoughts changed. Rather than pretend to have fun, I decided I’d just live as someone who doesn’t enjoy things.
Maybe that’s why...
“Hey, hey. Did you see that?”
When I actually do feel entertained, I get the sensation of a pinwheel spinning in my chest.
“Oh, you mean that Dormant Dragon Cadet?”
Like now.
“......”
The setting was a park bench.
I had my fedora pulled down over my face, just enjoying the peace — when cadets nearby started chattering.
“You saw it too? That was insane.”
“I thought she was just some delinquent, but after the interview...”
“Gray? She’s actually kind of cool, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah. She speaks well when it matters, and didn’t back down in that staredown with the Kreutz girl...”
“Totally. Must’ve been nerve-wracking.”
“If it were me, I’d just start stuttering like ‘y-you bitch...!’ and cry.”
“Ahahaha! Freakin’ hilarious.”
“But she was totally composed — it felt so satisfying to watch.”
“Yo, the [Illusion] stuff? Even more mind-blowing.”
“For real?”
“I major in Assassination Illusions, right? So I was skeptical when a first-year got picked to represent the Academy. But after seeing the illusion? I had to admit it. It was on another level.”
“Oh, right. Earlier in our dorm, everyone was gathered watching the illusion match against Kreutz... we were all just stunned—”
The upperclassmen went on like that for quite a while.
And it made sense.
This wasn’t just some photoshoot for a younger cadet. It symbolized the emergence of a massive opportunity — one that involved everyone’s future and livelihood.
“Wait... so does that mean we could go to the Empire too?”
“You mean the rumors about new faculty openings? That would be amazing...”
“Right? I heard assassins get paid three or four times more in the Empire...”
It was a national event — the “Betting Table.”
And Gray had opened its gates beautifully.
By portraying a national image of Hiaka’s assassins.
“We’re actually... gonna make it, huh......”
⋮
The excitement didn’t stop.
Not even a week after publication, reactions to the Monthly Assassination Daily began exploding across the world.
“Professor, professor...!”
Mansion living room. Adele rushed in waving a copy of Assassin Town. I normally didn’t care about these things and avoided them — but today, I read it from cover to cover.
“All the top comments are about Gray!”
And she wasn’t lying.
< Gray Photoshoot Compilation >
< Comparing Gray to the Last 12 Months of Monthly Models >
< Update on the Kreutz Traitors Who Lost the Front Page LOL >
< Seriously, is Kreutz braindead? Why did they jump into a solo shoot and end up laying out the stage for Hiaka? >
< Damn tattoo freaks really like to overdo it — >
< ★Grand Illusion Prodigy★ Empire & Overseas Reactions Exploding Thanks to Gray >
< Is the Empire Scared of Hiaka’s Rise? >
< OMG they're already selling Habanero Necklaces Limited Edition in Zone 9 Department Store. [Proof of Purchase] >
< Someone’s already reselling it. Report this asshole >
< YO! Gray made a Starfield⧉ account in the Empire!!!! GO FOLLOW GOGOGOGO >
< Is there something going on between Gray and Elize? >
< Calm down, it’s just a passing trend >
< Gray’s Starfield⧉ Follower Count Hit 100K in One Day LMAOOOOOOOO >
< Isn’t This the Most Insane Highlight for Hiaka’s Assassins Yet? >
< [LIVE] Just Ran Into Gray Holy Shittttttttttt >
< Monthly Assassination Daily Circulation Predictions >
Whether praise or criticism—
It was all about Gray.
I skimmed through a few.
———
< Update on the Kreutz Traitors Who Lost the Front Page LOL >
Chief Hegen ← Deleted Starfield⧉ account LOL
Chief Chyeon ← Empire business got hit by a sewage truck bombing LOL
Chief Gloomy ← Ignoring court summons, gone MIA LOL Kreutz is saying she betrayed again and went back to Hiaka LOL
Chief Batalion ← This ultra son of a bitch got summoned out of nowhere for a Royal Treason Hearing LOLLLLLLLLL
———
Of course, who knows if any of it’s real. It was just trash gossip floating around the Empire’s web.
But even if half of it’s true—
It’s still so satisfying.
And then...
<Calm down, it’s just a passing trend>
What the hell is this clown?
———
< Calm down, it’s just a passing trend >
(Photo: Gray’s face photoshopped onto the sun)
———
...I'll let it slide.
———
< Is there something going on between Gray and Elize? >
Hello. I’m the Spine Fairy. Discount spinal surgery starting at 300K Hika. The process starts by slicing open your back with a scalpel, hooking the skin with two forceps, and hammering in a spike-sized stigmatic nail into the center of your spine—
———
I straightened my slouched back.
There were even juicier rumors underneath.
———
< Monthly Assassination Daily Circulation Predictions >
.......
———
It was a long analysis post.
Sales numbers.
They’re first tallied ten days after publication.
A circulation number represents the measure of mass interest — the buzz factor.
If your popularity is real, if your impact is tangible — it should make the Assassination Daily money.
If not, it’s all just noise.
For example, when Rebecca appeared as the cover model for the Weekly Assassination Daily — she had full backing from the royal family and the department, but even then, the circulation was meh for a weekly.
But this time... the Academy's response was different.
“How many copies is Gray selling?”
It’s not just about immediate results.
In the long term, this determines how big of a stage Gray will get in the “Betting ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ Table.”
We need it to sell big.
The all-time record for Assassination Daily is 2.9 million — by the youngest-ever †Cross Constellation† member. (That person also became a Saintess of the Holy Mother Church after uniting two rival sects, but was revealed to be male immediately after doing the first-ever bikini shoot in Assassination Daily...)
That’s way beyond our reach.
Within the last 3 years, the highest was 410,000. And even that beat second place by a mile.
“I wonder how many this one will sell...”
Gray — and everyone watching her — would be waiting on the number. Adults love their numbers, after all.
The prediction said 200K.
But I doubt we’ll reach that.
The benchmark for moderate success in the Monthly Assassination Daily is 50K. A massive hit is 100K.
I’m just hoping for 80K out of greed.
“Sales numbers get announced in two days... Still weird though. That faked timeline from ⏐Spy Star│sㅇ) actually ended up helping us.”
In the end, nothing thrives without marketing.
During that faked timeline, someone (probably Amulet) was posing as Gray — and the magazine blew up.
Now we’re reclaiming the benefits we missed back then.
“Thanks... even if you are a perverted star.”
You’re still irreplaceable.
So then — what’s the star of all this attention doing now?
Right on cue, a message arrived.
— Gray: Professor
I looked at the Crystal Orb with a smile.
— Gray: Please save me 😭
— Gray: 😭😭
Gray sent a cat emoji.
The cat was sobbing, hands together in a begging pose.
— Me: lol
— Me: Sounds like you’re busy
— Gray: At this rate, I’m gonna die 😭😭
— Me: What’s your schedule?
— Gray: It’s literally insane, the department’s lost its mind
— Gray: Five days ago I got summoned to the royal palace, then ran a full schedule, got back yesterday at dawn, went to sleep at 4AM, and got dragged into a department promo shoot at 8AM... and now I just got back... but in 3 minutes I have another gig — it’s for the Zone 9 Habanero necklace ad 😭
— Gray: I’m gonna die seriously fuuuuuck 😭😭
— Gray: Just give me a damn rope so I can hang myself
— Me: lol
— Me: Ask for a necklace instead
— Gray: Shut up hehe 🖕
Even I was appalled by that schedule.
What is she, a K-pop idol?
Given how lazy Gray usually is, this must be pure hell for her.
— Me: Figure it out
— Gray: Oh come on please save me don’t be like that😢
— Gray: Professor, you can pull me out of this, right? 😭
— Gray: We’re supposed to have our second class today... huuuh?
I thought it was another emoji, but this time it was a photo.
Gray, hands clasped in prayer, looking utterly miserable.
— Gray: Please... 😢
— Me: glhf
Then she sent messages calling me a traitor, said she renamed me "Dantalion" in her contacts, rambled about how “a professor is forever responsible for what they tame”... (where the hell did she even pick that up?)... until she finally stopped.
Meanwhile, someone might be wondering:
How can an assassin become famous?
Aren’t they supposed to be covert?
It’s a question I had before playing the game, too.
But once you play, you realize—
Assassins here are more like missiles.
And even when real assassinations occur, there’s no issue because:
1. Assassins can choose whether or not to reveal their kill records.
Take Elize, for example.
She’s likely killed a lot. But her portfolio is squeaky clean.
She’s never been caught, and she never disclosed her kills.
So if she fights well in the Empire, the title “Assassin Elize” can become famous.
However...
2. Employers want portfolios, not just rankings.
Here’s the dilemma.
Reveal your record? You get enemies.
Keep it secret? You’ve got no resume.
Take Professor Hakon, rumored to have died by my hand — he had a long assassination history and often made it public.
Among his targets was Professor Leo’s younger brother, which earned him lasting hatred.
But even assassins don’t want to die.
That’s why the split between White Saber and Black Abyss happened.
Even if you kill others, you want a fence to keep yourself safe.
...There are plenty more stories — like fabricating fake team assassination records just to pad your CV — but they’re not all that important.
— Gray: I’m dying
Another message came in.
Guess she’s suffering in Zone 9 again.
— Me: You’ll live
— Gray: Whaaat??😭😭Nooo I wanna diiiie
— Me: I’ll live happily
— Gray: Nooo😭😭😭don’t live happily after leaving meeeeee😭😭😭😭😭
I couldn’t help but laugh.
Anyway — I was enjoying peace and rest, and it felt good just watching my work succeed from a distance.
Whether Gray suffers or not... that’s none of my concern, is it?
As long as I’m relaxed.
...Or so I thought. Which meant I was about to get punished.
Hallway on the way to the pre-break faculty meeting. I had skipped every other meeting just to rest, but this one was mandatory.
And then:
“IT’S PROFESSOR DANTE!!” someone screamed.
Suddenly, the professors swarmed me.
Like a horde of zombies.
“Professor Dante, Senior Professor!! Could we have a moment of your time!?”
“Wait, hold on—! I was here first! White Saber Chief just asked if you had a moment—”
“P-Professor Dante! Will you have time after the meeting!? I have a great offer for you—!”
A flood of professors encircled me, trying to abduct me. What the hell is this?
It wasn’t just one or two. There were Black Abyss and White Saber professors mixed in. Even a Chief Professor was there. Wilhelm — what the hell is he doing here?
“Professor Dante...! Just one autograph, please—!”
An autograph!?
Putting it all together — I realized what had happened.
During another meeting, Wilhelm and some assistant professor must’ve talked around my contributions.
That I took the Princess to the Empire, redesigned Gray’s image, brokered the Assassination Daily deal, faced off against the Kreutz chief professor in an illusion duel—
Even the reason Gray got picked for the Assassination Daily may’ve stemmed from my illusions.
And now rumors were spreading through the department.
“If Professor Dante becomes your mentor, your cadet will become a megastar in the Empire!”
“The Assassination Team! I heard there are 2 slots left in Dante’s team... If we could just get Marina in there...!!”
Oh god.
With the Empire’s gates now opening, every professor was scrambling for opportunity. If they could entrust their cadet to me, and that cadet blew up like Gray did — it would be an immense honor.
There are three ways for a professor to raise their name value: combat strength, research, and student success. Gray had just exploded the third category beyond imagination.
And unfortunately for me — I was neutral, which made me easy to approach.
“He put a bell on Gray. Negotiated with the Princess. Made that Empire shoot go viral... Headmaster Ezekiel was right. Professor Dante was born with the Golden Hand...”
Golden what now?
Sounds like the Magic Department head gave me some weird nickname.
But sure enough — everyone’s eyes were fixated on my hand.
“I need that Golden Hand...”
“If only my student could be touched by that hand...”
Their gazes were filled with growing madness.
Their legs twitched like they were about to lunge.
Nono don’t come near me.
“Wait.”
I raised my hand quickly.
My stern voice calmed their bloodshot eyes.
They hesitated slightly.
“But what’s that over there?”
“What do you mean?”
“Hmm? I thought I saw something over—”
Everyone turned their heads, following my finger.
“HEY! DANTE’S RUNNING!!”
“YO, GET HIM!! GRAB HIM!!”
“SOMEBODY CATCH PROFESSOR DANTE—!!”