Chapter 215. Dispatch (1)
Two chaotic days passed after the Sales Pee Guy incident. On the third day, they returned once more to the underground fortress.
“Min Yeo-Jin! The Sales Department’s observer has been raising hell all morning! What should I reply with?”
“Ugh... just one minute!” Yeo-Jin answered back. “Say anything and stall them!”
In the room arranged to look like a proper office, Yeo-Jin’s hurried voice, the fluttering of documents, and the constant clatter of keyboards echoed.
Even little Yul had joined in, drawing icons to be used for subscribers. “Daddy, Daddy! Yul drew this!”
“Oh wow, Yul! You drew a ‘signed and approved’ stamp?”
“Yeah!”
“You all look pretty busy,” Eun-Ho said.
Seeing everyone working so hard was nice. Not that he had much right to comment, considering he’d been gone all morning. At least he hadn’t been wasting his time.
“Of course we’re busy! What kind of question is th—oh, it’s you, our team leader!” the security guard said.
His teammates greeted him enthusiastically.
“You finally showed up!” said Yeo-Jin.
“Uuuuuncle!” said Yul.
Eun-Ho leaned into them.
At the center of it all, Min Yeo-Jin seemed close to tears. “Mister! Why are you only coming now?”
“Haha. Things just worked out that way. I even had lunch. Did you eat?” Eun-Ho asked.
“What? It’s already two p.m.? That’s insane...”
Min Yeo-Jin was usually meticulous about her meals. Seeing her lose track of time meant she had been completely absorbed in her work. Perhaps the saying was true, a position shaped the person who held it.
“Was it that hectic?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Yes! It’s nonstop checking tips and collecting signatures!” Yeo-Jin replied.
“Our section lead really has been working herself to the bone,” the security guard added.
“She sure has,” another agreed with a chuckle.
As the head of the Internal Client Support Section, Min Yeo-Jin was responsible for managing the team’s official channels and email.
“Tsk. You didn’t just dump a title on her and go off enjoying yourself alone, did you? Ate something delicious?” someone accused him.
“Enjoying myself? No way,” Eun-Ho replied.
He hadn’t been slacking off, though he had eaten well.
“Eun-Ho, did everything go smoothly?” Ji-Eun asked.
“Yes. It actually went better than I expected,” Eun-Ho answered with a smile.
“That’s a relief! You were suddenly taken away first thing this morning, so I was worried,” she said.
“Exactly, Hyungnim!” Jae-Hyuk chimed in. “I was afraid you were getting thrown back in a cell. I even wondered if I had to buy some tofu!”
Earlier that morning, someone from the Inspection Bureau had come again.
“The division chief of the Inspection Bureau is calling for you. Please come with us for a moment.”
The former division chief, who had been with Mo-Ho, had been fired long ago. Eun-Ho had been tense, wondering why the newly appointed division chief would summon him on their very first day.
“Oh! My precious! There you are!”
It turned out to be a familiar face.
“The manager of Team Three got promoted to division chief of the Inspection Bureau,” Eun-Ho explained.
“Team Three? you mean the manager from where you did your OJT?” Ji-Eun asked.
“Yes.”
Jeon Do, former head of Team Three of the Audit Bureau’s Field Audit Division, had become the new division chief.
Apparently, his hands-on approach had always produced strong results. It also helped that he’d been recognized early on for leading the corruption investigation. They also cited lofty reasons such as “implementing transparent investigations” and “ensuring strict punishment.”
The newly appointed division chief had even winked at Eun-Ho. He seemed to say, More like I read the room.
“I thought you were just some lunatic rookie, but you turned out to be the real deal.”
“I didn’t really do anything,” Eun-Ho replied.
“What do you mean, you didn’t? See, I told you, I picked the right side.”
In any case, the man had given him a small gift on top of thanking him.
“There might be more scuffles down the line... No, there’ll definitely be more. Save this for then.”
Whether it was encouragement or a curse was hard to say, but he had received a potion.
[Foam Mirage Energy Tonic]
- An energy tonic made by blending Sperm Whale Oil with Mermaid Foam.
- Upon consumption, physical stamina stats are doubled for thirty minutes, and the skill Taunt(Lv. 1) is activated, drawing enemies’ attention.
- Caution: It may attract unwanted attention as well.
Moreover, there was one more gift.
“This one’s for you, Ji-Eun,” Eun-Ho said.
“Me?” she asked, startled.
“They said your video editing was outstanding.”
“Ah...”
In truth, Ji-Eun had played a major role in the incident. The issue only blew up as much as it did because the Sales Pee Guy video she had painstakingly edited ended up in the Hall of Fame.
In the first place, Eun-Ho had been wondering if he should get her a gift. Who would’ve expected it to come from the Inspection Bureau instead?
[Concealed Microphone]
- A special ultra-small microphone developed by the Inspection Bureau.
- Its compact size allows it to be hidden almost anywhere. Also comes with a camouflage option that makes it extremely hard to detect.
- However, it requires recharging after a maximum of twelve hours of use, and is not waterproof.
“They told me to make sure we blow it up again if we catch another big case,” Eun-Ho said.
“Oh, thank goodness,” Ji-Eun replied. “I was worried we’d get scolded instead.”
Aside from the nice gifts, it was a win for the team as a whole.
[Congratulations!]
[Due to your achievements, the reputation of the Labor-Management Cooperation Team has increased.]
Their rise to the Hall of Fame had boosted their reputation.
[The existence of the Labor-Management Cooperation Team is now known company-wide.]
[You will no longer be treated as a suspicious peddler when approaching employees.]
[Revealing your affiliation slightly increases attention.]
[Revealing your affiliation slightly increases trust.]
Thanks to that, operating within the company had become much easier in many ways.
“Isn’t it kind of ridiculous, though?” Ye-Ji said.
“What is?” someone asked.
“That without any reputation, we would’ve been treated like shady vendors,” she replied.
“Shady vendors, my ass.” Swear-Master snorted. “You’d be lucky if they didn’t stab you in the back. What do you expect from this company?”
Yeah. He’s not wrong. That’s exactly why we had to prepare thoroughly.
“What about the tips?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Here’s the list,” Yeo-Jin replied, handing him neatly organized papers. “I categorized them by type, but nothing really stands out yet.”
The main categories were complaints and grievances. Subcategories included facilities, services, mission difficulty, conflicts with supervisors, and so on. She had even further processed the data by the informants’ departments, sorting them by where complaints appeared most frequently.
“Nice work. Giving you your own office wasn’t a waste,” Eun-Ho said.
“Hehe, right? All that eye-straining paid o—ow! Why’d you step on my foot?” Yeo-Jin yelped.
“I organized it too,” Sol-Ah said flatly.
“Right. You did good too, Sol-Ah,” Eun-Ho said after a pause.
That aside, the tips and trials themselves were complaints that were entirely mundane.
[Trial: Request for Additional Stalls in the Men’s Restroom]
[Reward: slight increase in male employees’ favorability]
Things like there was only one stall in the men’s restroom, or that the cafeteria’s set meals tasted terrible.
[Trial: The Trial Difficulty is Hell. Can it be Adjusted?]
[Reward: Increase in favorability from an anonymous informant]
The stuff about work objectives might still be usable, but anything truly important is anonymous, making it hard to track down the informants. The rewards are also underwhelming, Eun-Ho thought.
To put it simply, the cost-performance ratio was terrible.
“Are all of them like this?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Yes,” Min Yeo-Jin replied.
In the end, there were barely any reports worth personally tracking down and resolving.
“Damn it. The fuck is all this junk?” Swear-Master snapped. “This isn’t even funny.”
“Right? The rewards are all terrible too,” Yeo-Jin agreed.
“Seriously. Isn’t there some request where the reward’s huge and you actually get to fight hard?” he grumbled.
Min Yeo-Jin nodded along in agreement, glancing at Eun-Ho. “Hm. But Mister, can you even handle a request that involves a really intense fight?”
“What the hell? Are you looking down on me?” the Swear-Master shot back.
“It’s not looking down on you, it’s just a reasonable suspicion—ow! Why did you hit me?”
In any case, it seemed everyone was unhappy with the prank-call-level tips flooding in.
“It’s hard to talk openly before people reveal their identities,” Eun-Ho said, soothing them. “Let’s wait a bit longer.”
At that, the cleaning lady smiled and chimed in. “That’s right. No harm in waiting patiently, is there?”
“What do you mean, patiently?” Swear-Master retorted. “It’s not like we’re gonna be doing this for the rest of our lives.”
For once, Eun-Ho honestly felt like siding with him. They didn’t have that much time left to wait patiently.
Soeju: Division Chief made an additional order. The delivery deadline is in ten days.
The Personnel Division chief’s requested items had a delivery deadline. It would make sense to assume the attack would come ten days from now.
It’s a bit tight, but we can always create work ourselves.
Even after handling all the necessary preparations, they could probably squeeze out two extra days.
Having reached that conclusion, Eun-Ho said with a faint, reassuring smile, “Just accept things in moderation. If something feels big, like last time, report it right away.”
“Yes, sir!” Yeo-Jin answered brightly.
Ding!
Just as they were about to wrap things up and move on, a welcoming notification rang out in everyone’s ears.
[Team Trial, Obtain 1,000 Signatures, has been completed!]
“Didn’t we only pass a hundred a few days ago? That’s insane,” someone said.
“It’s the Hall of Fame effect, obviously,” another replied.
It was the speed that fame brought with it.
“That was faster than I expected,” Ji-Eun muttered.
“Yeah, I think so too,” Eun-Ho replied.
Yet despite the smiles, no one appeared entirely carefree.
“Ah, this popped up again!”
[Please choose your trial reward!]
[Everyone’s Defense Mechanism]
[My Defense Mechanism]
[Check effect details.]
Once again, the moment of choice had arrived.
[Defense Mechanism]
- When activated, it blocks all mental intrusion and mental abnormality effects.
- Remaining Duration: 100 minutes
Fortunately, this time the form of the choice was slightly different.
“What? Aren’t ‘everyone’s’ and ‘mine’ basically the same thing?”
“Feels like we’re choosing whether to split the hundred minutes or use it alone.”
“Team Leader... What should we do?”
***
Those who do not risk danger cannot drink champagne.
Dmitri quietly agreed as he recalled a certain proverb from his homeland.
Power should belong to the one worthy of having it.
His gaze was fixed on the man who had taken the greatest risks so far, and therefore the most deserving of champagne.
“Then this time too...” a strong woman began to say.
However, Eun-Ho cut her off immediately. “Let’s use it together.”
“Mm... I understand how you feel, Eun-Ho, but shouldn’t we discuss it first?” someone asked.
“No,” he replied.
As expected, compromise did not exist for such a strong man.
“This is the right choice this time.”
Eun-Ho only had unyielding resolve, uncharacteristically refusing a reward he could monopolize.
“Is our team leader not greedy?” someone murmured without thinking.
That couldn’t have been further from the truth. No one was greedier than him. In fact, that was precisely how he had grown so strong. That was who their team leader truly was.
Dmitri looked at him, eyes filled with questions, only to hear something utterly absurd next.
“Instead,” Eun-Ho continued, “we’ll split the hundred minutes down to the second. You don’t get a say in it.”
“What?” several people blurted out.
“Down to the second? How is that possible?”
“This is a team-wide skill, so the team leader can issue commands,” Eun-Ho explained.
Of course, coming from Lee Eun-Ho, the man faster than light, it made sense.
“Actually, we might even split it down to one-twentieth of a second,” he added calmly.
“That’s insane,” someone whispered.
Based on Eun-Ho’s expression, he had absolute conviction that this was the optimal choice. To him, every team member was his arms and legs. He had solid confidence that he could use them more efficiently than anyone else.
“There’s another reason,” he said. “In the worst-case scenario, if someone falls to a mental-type attack and spills our plans, everyone will be in danger. It’s better to have safeguards in place.”
Apparently, Eun-Ho had already anticipated that far ahead, which was why a contingency plan was necessary.
Just like Dmitri, the others began to nod one by one, faces showing agreement.
“Uh, that does make sense.”
“I think he’s right.”
A relaxed smile appeared on Eun-Ho’s face. “But well, honestly, when are we ever going to all suffer mental abnormalities at the same time again?”
It was the kind of smile only someone confident in their own ability could wear.
“Well that’s true.”
“Let’s use those hundred minutes sparingly.”
***
It happened though, a situation where they all suffered mental abnormalities at once.
[Caution!]
[You’ve developed the status effect, Mental Confusion.]
[You are hallucinating!]
They were very close.
“P-please! Please help me!” someone screamed.
“Hieeeek!” another shrieked.
The screams of his companions stabbed straight into Eun-Ho’s ears.
Scritch, scritch, scra-ka-kak, scra-ka-ka-ka-kak...
There were house centipedes, with at least fifty long, thin legs extending in every direction. They rippled like waves as they approached, writhing and rubbing their cockroach-like forms, as if trying to crawl straight into his ear canals.
Fuck...
Eun-Ho couldn’t even bring himself to look. He was sure the others looked just as bad, with dark brown centipedes crawling all over them.
“This is insane! Isn’t this too much for a first dispatch?!”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying! Why did you insist on picking this one, Swear-Master! Hieeek!”
Swear-Master snapped back. “Because the reward was the biggest one, dammit!”
[Trial: Exterminate the Monster in the Fir Forest and Satisfy the Client]
[Time Limit: 24 hours]
[Rewards: 100,000 Welfare Points and 10,000 Welfare Points for every hour saved]
They should have known. Just as great power demanded a great price, a massive reward always came with an equally massive trial. The only saving grace was that these bugs, burrowed so deeply into them that they couldn’t even be burned away, were nothing more than hallucinations.
“Activate Defense... mechanism!”
[Would you like to activate Defense Mechanism?]
[Please select a target!]
“Target is—blegh!”
[No target has been selected.]
[Please select a target!]
Dispelling the hallucinations was no easy task, not when hundreds of centipedes were swarming into his mouth.
“E-Eun-Ho! We can’t just give up on this on—khk!” Ji-Eun cried.
“Noonim! Don’t open your mouth—bwueegh!” Jae-Hyuk gagged violently.
Stay calm.
The urge to curse surged up his throat, but he forced himself to remain calm.
Scritch, scritch, scra-ka-kak, scra-ka-ka-ka-kak...
Fifty-legged centipedes crawled into his every orifices. They invaded his ears, his nose, his throat, sparing nothing.
Scritch, scritch, scra-ka-kak, scra-ka-ka-ka-kak...
One even wriggled into his pants and began gnawing at places no bug had any right to touch.
Stay calm...
“Activate Defense Mechanism!”
[Please select a target.]
“Kim... Ji-Eun, Choi Jae-Hyuk, Myung Tae-Pyeong fuck!”
Is this for real? Is this seriously the difficulty level for our first dispatch?