Chapter 150. Sales, Sales, Sales (2)
The name “Customer Satisfaction Center” evoked images of a packed office with rows of headsets and nonstop ringing phones, or a department-store counter where people exchanged gift certificates.
“Is this really the Customer Satisfaction Center?” Ji-Eun asked.
“At this rate, even satisfied customers would run for their lives...” Jae-Hyuk muttered.
However, the room they entered was barely larger than a cheap, forty-thousand-won gosiwon[1]. Crammed together inside were a single office desk, a three-seater couch, and a small coffee table.
“Not only is this office tiny, but there’s only one desk,” Eun-Ho noted.
Jae-Hyuk eyed the windowless room suspiciously. “Office? You sure this isn’t a storage closet?”
Ji-Eun hesitantly stepped in after them. “Even storage rooms aren’t this filthy...”
“Ugh... It looks like a pigsty, Noona,” Jae-Hyuk said.
That was generous. Being compared to this would offend even pigs. Piles of trash, paper cups, cigarette butts, and who knew what else were all over the place. The floor was also littered with empty, half-finished, and unopened coffee cans.
“Pigsty, cowshed, whatever it is, the person who lives here is definitely addicted to coffee,” Eun-Ho said.
The lone desk wasn’t any better. Papers, utensils, and junk were piled high enough to collapse. Eun-Ho wondered how anyone could work here at all, especially when he compared it to the obsessively neat desk of the Audit Bureau’s supervisor.
“Hey, isn't it a bit much to call this place a pigsty and me a coffee addict?” Apparently, the room wasn’t empty. Behind the mountain of documents, a man who had been lying across two chairs pushed himself up. His hair was sticking out in every direction. “New hires? And a kid?”
“Yes. Are you the team manager?” Eun-Ho asked.
“The manager?" The man waved lazily, clearly just waking up. "No, no, nothing like that. Relax. I’m the only one here anyway.”
So he'll be our mentor from Sales...
He was nothing like the ambitious Cheong Jeong or the rigid blond mentor from the Audit Bureau.
“There’s a couch over there. Yeah, it’s messy, so just shove stuff aside and have a seat.”
“Um... Where should we put these jackets?” Ji-Eun asked.
“Wherever. Just tidy them up a bit.”
“Yes, sir.”
“By the way, Short Hair. What’s your name?”
“Oh, I’m Kim Ji-Eun.”
“Hmm. Pretty name.”
They hadn’t spoken much yet, but Eun-Ho already had a word for him: a slacker. The office was in shambles, yet the first thing the man did when he woke up was fix his collar and check his reflection. Rather than lazy, the man simply did whatever he wanted and ignored everything else.
“Anyway, just think of this as two days of rest. That’s what training is for, right?”
“I heard we’ll be ranked by sales performance. Do you know anything about that?” Eun-Ho asked.
If the mentor couldn’t even pretend to guide his juniors, then Eun-Ho had to take it upon himself to ask the right questions. Otherwise, the man really would do absolutely nothing throughout their entire OJT.
“Ranking?”
“They said department placement benefits depend on performance.”
“Oh, that?” The mentor stretched and yawned. “Don’t take it too seriously. You’ll all fail anyway.”
Fail? All of us?
“Have you tried this project during your OJT, too?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Yeah, a long, long time ago.”
“Can you give us any tips? I really want to get the placement benefits.”
“Hmm...”
Though Eun-Ho didn’t know what the benefits were, getting them was always better than not. He himself was free to choose his department, but the rest of his teammates weren't. It was better to secure an advantage than be forced into an unfamiliar department. He already had something in mind as well.
“Tips? I don't have any. If I had to say something, then just don’t expect much.”
“Sorry?”
“Our customers can be a bit picky. Some people end up crying and giving up altogether, but it’s all nonsense, so just grit your teeth and endure.”
People cry and give up?
These survivors had trampled on everything in their way to get this far. Eun-Ho wasn’t convinced, but he still waited for the man to continue.
The mentor gestured lazily with his chin toward the coffee table. “And... Oh, there’s a catalog on the table. Look at that if you’re bored.”
“A catalog?”
“Ah, I found it!” Jae-Hyuk pulled out a thin booklet.
Apparently losing interest, the mentor slumped back into his chair as he half-heartedly muttered, “Yeah, that one.”
The title on the cover read, Experience Content Catalog.
Puzzled, Jae-Hyuk repeated, “Experience content?”
“Remember the trial where we showed our memories?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Is it similar to the trial where we replayed our memory?”
Observing would mean watching saved memories or live transmissions, but this was different. They weren't just observing this time; they were reliving a memory.
“Experience fascinating memories firsthand? What is this supposed to mean?” Jae-Hyuk asked.
It wasn't anything new to Eun-Ho. After all, he had sold experience tickets in one of the trials he had passed.
“Then this catalog must be—”
“Other people’s memories,” Eun-Ho finished.
The memories had likely been gathered from who knew where.
Jae-Hyuk turned to the first page of the catalog. One of the listed memories was related to a cosmic-level artist and the concert they had created.
[Solo Concert for One Million Fans(New!)]
- A performance no one watches just once. The final live concert of Sector 11’s strongest performance group, Meteor!
- Experience Cost: 30,000 Welfare Points
There were also some memories so bizarre that he couldn’t even guess what kind of customer would ever want them.
[District 7 Deep-Sea Expedition(New!)]
- From the Luminous Kraken to the Fish Dragon, study the universe’s most repulsive deep-sea species!
- Experience Cost: 20,000 Welfare Points
Finally, she found a full-page advertisement labeled “Memory of the Month,” highlighting a horrifying memory that was on sale.
[Memory of Murder(Best!)]
- When it rains, the day resurfaces. Ranked #1 in “Memories People Want to Revisit.”
- Experience Cost: 100,000 Welfare Points
“This is insane.”
Eun-Ho had expected something sensational, but this surpassed anything he’d imagined. The fact that someone had packaged their real experiences like a movie and so many people wanted to relive them was even more shocking to him.
Ji-Eun frowned at the “Memory of Murder” listing. “They sell this? Seriously?”
Completely unfazed, the mentor replied, “Hm? Well, yeah.”
Ji-Eun was just about to reply when a cheerful chime accompanied a new prompt.
Ding!
[Common trial has been activated!]
[Trial: Complete the OJT’s Special Orders.]
[Progress: 0/5]
[Reward: 3 Points.]
“OJT’s special orders?” Jae-Hyuk read.
“That’s odd,” Ji-Eun murmured. “It just says to complete it, but doesn’t explain what it is.”
“We probably have to meet certain conditions to receive the orders,” Eun-Ho said.
While they all speculated, the mentor seemed to have received his own trial and muttered to himself,
“Huh? Take them out? Me?”
He slumped back in his chair, looking as though he'd rather die. “Tsk.”
Eun-Ho could feel his mentor’s annoyance from across the room.
Our special orders will probably be triggered once we go out and meet customers.
They first had to figure out how to convince this slacker to actually move. If all else failed, they could force themselves out and just make him tell them where to go.
As Eun-Ho considered how to coax him, the mentor gestured lazily. “Hey. You with the narrow eyes. What time is it?”
Guy with narrow eyes? Great.
“Yeah, you.”
“It’s ten o’clock,” Eun-Ho answered.
“Oh, then if we head out now... Okay!” He suddenly clapped his hands and sprang up from his chair. “All right, rookies. Follow me.”
“Where are we going?” Eun-Ho asked.
“To meet the customers, obviously.”
***
When he was younger, Eun-Ho assumed that the saying "walking on clouds" meant feeling weightless, like floating through the air. Now, he concluded it meant walking down a path of hard, white stones.
Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
“Careful!”
“Phew. This is tiring, but the view is incredible!” Jae-Hyuk said.
“Right? A building on clouds... It's amazing. Isn’t it, Wei?” said Ji-Eun.
“Yes. It looks like heaven,” Wei whispered.
The Customer Satisfaction Center was located atop blindingly white clouds that reflected so much light it was almost dazzling.
“It looks like we’re above the company buildings on the map,” Eun-Ho said.
“I had no idea anything was up here,” Ji-Eun said.
“Me neither, Noonim! There are also buildings and mountains beyond the clouds. What is this place?”
In the middle of the Sales Department stood a sharp mountain peak, so tall that he couldn't see the top no matter how far he craned his neck.
As the group marveled at their surroundings, the mentor smirked. “You all look like little chicks. How cute.”
He sounded oddly proud, as though he were their mother hen.
“This is actually my first time receiving new hires. For some reason, no one ever sends rookies to me.”
I think I know why, Eun-Ho thought.
“Where are we going exactly?” he asked.
“We’re going up, obviously.”
“You mean up that mountain?”
“It’s not a mountain. It’s a tower.”
The incline looked steep enough to kill someone. Eun-Ho frowned subconsciously, and the mentor shrugged.
Soon, boulders shifted, filling the air with heavy grinding.
Rrrrmmm—
Thud!
[Welcome to the Sky Tower!]
Fwoosh—!
A brilliant light flared, and what appeared like a mountain opened up.
***
Eun-Ho had sold many things over the years, including machine parts, medical devices, home appliances, fruit, vegetables, and coffee.
Whether he had worn a company badge or bounced between part-time gigs, the work had always been the same. The product would change—sometimes a physical item, sometimes an intangible asset or a service—but the essence never did. He had to meet customers and sell something. Rinse and repeat, more times than he could count.
But it’s my first time doing this kind of sales, Eun-Ho thought.
“So, the product we’re launching now—”
Thwack!
An elderly man smacked Jae-Hyuk’s forehead with his cane.
Jae-Hyuk let out a strangled scream. “Guh!”
Judging from the soft thump rather than a sharp crack, something definitely gave way.
“Why are there so many peddlers wandering around?!” the white-haired old man shouted as if nothing unusual had happened. “You’re here to rob me again, aren’t you? You thieves! Get out of my sight!”
Jae-Hyuk tried again. “No, sir, we’re not peddl—”
Whack!
He was hit again with the cane. “Ghak!”
“Does having a hard head mean you can just barge around?! Scram!”
Eun-Ho sighed. This was not going well.
Ji-Eun nervously asked, “At this rate, Jae-Hyuk's really going to get hurt, Eun-Ho. Should we stop him?”
“Yeah... He hasn’t even managed to greet the man yet...”
Jae-Hyuk had marched forward so confidently, claiming he was great with older customers, only to end up taking a beating. To make matters worse, they hadn’t even cleared step one: greeting.
[OJT’s Special Orders]
[1. Greet a customer: 0/20]
[2. Learn their hobby: 0/20]
[3. Get invited inside: 0/10]
[4. Become friends: 0/10]
[5. Make a sale: 0/10]
Their mentor just laughed, thoroughly entertained. “Pfft! Look at him! What a sturdy skull. That geezer’s cane has knocked down everyone else it's hit!”
“Instead of laughing, could you help us? Don’t you have any tips?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Tips? Nah. You’ll never succeed anyway. Just give up and chill.”
“How long did it take you, then?” Eun-Ho pressed.
“Me? Hmm...” The mentor thought for a moment, then replied casually, “Half a year, maybe?”
Half a year?
“OJTs only last two days, though. What about your sales results? Did you skip the special orders and just focus on performance?” Eun-Ho asked.
“How would that work? My performance was also zero. Think about it. Even full-time salespeople barely manage to fill their quotas. What makes you think two-day trainees can do it?”
The mentor was trying to say that the trial was impossible from the start. If that were true, Eun-Ho’s teammates would completely lose their placement benefits.
“What do we do, Eun-Ho? Should we all just go and politely explain our situation? If we tell the customers it’s for a trial, maybe they'll at least accept a greeting, ” Ji-Eun suggested.
“Ah, I’ve tried that. That doesn’t work.”
“Then maybe we can hand him the catalog and come back tomorrow? There might be something he wants.”
“Tried that too. Nope.”
The mentor shot down every idea Ji-Eun had offered.
“Why are you chicks so naïve? Let’s just write this off as a visit and wrap it up, yeah?”
“What about our trial?” Eun-Ho asked.
“Just give up. There’s no point wasting time on an impossible task.”
Judging from his attitude, the mentor seemed convinced that his only job was to escort them here. He seemed ready to clock out the moment they gave up.
“I’ll give it a try,” Eun-Ho stepped forward.
The mentor frowned, clearly annoyed that Eun-Ho wasn’t listening to him. “Didn’t I already tell you it’s impossible? You don’t believe me, do you?”
“If I succeed, what will you do?” Eun-Ho asked calmly.
“Tsk... Fine. If you finish the special orders, I’ll call you Hyungnim.”
Hmm. In that case, I’ll have to succeed.
Eun-Ho nodded. “I’ll be looking forward to that.”
“What the hell? Why is he so confident?”
Sales in Hell Joseon aren’t for anyone.
1. Gosiwon(Korean: 고시원) is a kind of single room occupancy class of building in South Korea. It was originally designed for students preparing to take exams. ☜