Chapter 8: Chapter 8 – Ape Tactics
DONK!
A hard stick hit the shell.
The turtle head slowly approached one of the holes but didn't fully leave it.
DONK!
Another stick hit the shell.
Kyle watched the turtle head.
Thanks to his darkness vision, he could see the turtle head slowly moving around inside the hole, but it still didn't come out.
By now, there were over five sticks around the turtle shell.
'Fucker's careful,' Kyle thought. 'Hasn't come out even once. Wonder if it knows that it's me throwing trash in its backyard.'
'I wanna put it to an actual test.'
Kyle took off the shitty helmet he had taken from the hill and hit it with the back of his drill.
It vibrated, and the sound of the impact reverberated through the surroundings.
The turtle seemed to notice the sound.
Kyle hit the helmet a couple more times.
The turtle head slowly moved out of the hole.
Kyle just kept hitting it.
And then, the turtle head exploded out of the hole, charging right towards Kyle.
BANG!
The head was stopped by a tree.
The next instant, the turtle tilted its head by 90° and bit the entire tree, hoping it could hit the annoying human who was sure to be beside it.
'Heh, dumbfuck,' Kyle thought from his branch on top of the turtle head.
The next moment, he let himself fall to the side while his legs were still curled around the branch.
As he fell, Kyle activated the drill and stabbed the turtle head.
A burst of blood exploded out of the head, and the turtle immediately retreated.
Hanging upside down from the branch, Kyle watched the turtle go back into its shell.
When he saw the chunks of turtle meat around him, he grinned happily.
'Man, that drill is AWESOME!' he thought as he slowly and quietly climbed down the tree.
Kyle quickly clambered to collect the chunks of meat and retreated back into his tree.
'Why didn't I think of this before?' Kyle thought. 'When that fucker was chasing me, I could've just... wait, I was actually trying to do that but then forgot after destroying its eye.'
'Note for the future: Do more monkey stuff. Seems to work against big things.'
A moment later, he began to eat all the chunks of turtle meat.
The taste still wasn't anything special, but it was like there was something in there that his body absolutely loved.
'Drugs ain't got nothing on this stuff... I think... never tried any. Don't do drugs, kids.'
'But drink lots of alcohol. It disinfects your body and keeps you free of germs!'
After eating all of the turtle chunks, Kyle felt like he just snorted a line of coke.
'Fuck, I want more! This shit is amazing!'
The next moment, Kyle flipped over again, hanging upside down from his branch.
He extended his arms lower so that the helmet and the drill in his hands was near ground level.
Finally, he started banging again.
Kyle watched as the turtle head "looked" out from inside the hole, but even after almost 30 seconds of banging, it didn't come out.
He could also see the damage his drill had caused on the head.
There was now a big hole in the turtle's "cheek", which was still dripping with valuable turtle juice.
'Ah, the guy's too scared,' Kyle thought as he jumped down from his tree.
A moment later, he looked at the branch, trying to remember its location as accurately as possible.
'We gotta be more ballsy now, and I need this branch to save my ass.'
Kyle continued banging the helmet as he walked around the small clearing with the turtle shell.
If he could, he would have climbed a tree to be on top of the turtle shell, but none of the branches extended that far.
'This is proper ape man tactics,' Kyle thought as he kept banging his helmet like a hunter from some kind of tribe.
He resisted the urge to grunt like a chimp while banging the helmet.
The head followed the noise, and Kyle became more nervous.
His hair stood on end, and his body was ready to jump away in an instant.
His heart raced, and his eyes widened as he expected the turtle to strike any second now.
"Come on," he whispered. "I'm right here!"
Suddenly, Kyle stepped on something unstable and stopped banging for a second as he looked down.
It was one of the sticks he threw earlier.
While he was distracted, Kyle suddenly heard a rapid shuffling from his front, and his body reacted by jumping to the side.
BANG!
The turtle head had charged out during that pause and clamped down.
This time, Kyle wasn't fast enough, and the jaws of the turtle clamped down on his right leg!
Everything from his knee downward was inside the turtle's mouth!
'Oh shit!' Kyle thought in panic as he immediately activated the drill, ramming it into the turtle head.
Blood exploded, but the turtle refused to let go!
An instant later, Kyle was rapidly being dragged towards the hole.
In panic, Kyle kept drilling deeply into the turtle head.
CRKSH!
Kyle hit something important with his drill, and the head stopped retreating.
But a moment later, the power of the turtle's jaws increased, and it rapidly shook its head back and forth.
Suddenly, Kyle went flying and hit one of the trees with his back.
His body flopped towards the ground, and he felt significantly difficulty breathing.
'Fucking idiot!' Kyle shouted at himself. 'I told you that was a stupid idea!'
He clambered to get behind a tree, but he fell down several times.
When he was safely behind the tree, he looked down and realized why it was so difficult to move.
'Huh,' Kyle thought as he looked at the bloody stump. 'My leg's gone...'
'That's bad.'
Sure enough, starting at the middle of his thigh, everything below was gone.
Without even thinking, Kyle started to eat the chunks on his drill.
It helped last time he was injured, so it didn't seem like a bad idea.
The pain of losing a leg quickly arrived, but before it could reach its crescendo, it weakened again.
Kyle hopefully looked at his stump, and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw the bloody tip of his stump wriggling.
He could see with his naked eye as the bone in his leg extended, followed by his muscles.
'Shit, I'm a lizard!' he thought, the image of a lizard regrowing its tail appearing in his mind.
Sadly, after a couple of minutes, his leg stopped growing about halfway down his shin.
And sure enough, Kyle was hungry again.
'I get how this works. As long as I have food, I can heal my injuries. Does that also work with brain injuries? Maybe I can cure the obvious fucking retardation I have. Who even thinks about luring a big turtle worm thing out of its shell?!'
However, Kyle was quickly distracted by the immense hunger he felt, and he looked at the clearing covered in turtle chunks.
After some seconds, Kyle sighed and went onto all threes to slowly approach them.
While he was doing so, he kept his eyes on the holes in the shell.
He had to get the turtle meat to regrow his legs!
Luckily, the turtle didn't seem to move, but Kyle could tell that it was still very much alive.
Unfortunately, as Kyle reached the first chunk, he heard some rustling from his left and looked over.
'That's one scary wolf,' he thought as he looked at the wolf that was almost as high as Kyle was tall.
The wolf had crimson-orange fur, and it looked at Kyle, who was in the middle of the clearing, close to the turtle shell.