Chapter 5: Chapter 5 – Fantasy Land
A shower of different human bones rolled down the hill.
"Fucking Beggar!" Kyle shouted after the bones.
Kyle watched as the bones rolled down the hill and snorted before looking back at the big hole he had dug.
For a while, he lamented the time he had invested in digging up valuables.
There was literally nothing else!
The metal stick was the only thing the skeleton owned.
Finally, Kyle looked back at the forest beneath the hill.
Then, he sighed. 'Well, can't postpone this adventure shit anymore. Guess I gotta enter the scary fantasy forest,' he thought.
Kyle put his survival knife back in its sheathe and carried the metal stick in his hand.
The metal stick seemed to be quite a bit stronger and sharper than the knife.
'You know, if I were still on Earth, I would be angry at the guy who sold me the knife. Fucking 200 bucks down the drain!'
Right now, Kyle wore the damaged helmet and walked down the hill at a brisk pace while carrying the metal stick in his hand.
After some minutes, Kyle reached the bottom of the hill and came into contact with the first fantasy tree in a fantasy world.
Kyle touched it.
"Treeeee," he said, slowly moving his hand over the bark.
It didn't feel strange.
It was just like any other tree.
Kyle pulled his hand away and looked at it.
'And just as dirty and grimy as any other tree,' he thought with a disgusted face.
'You would think that fantasy worlds are all clean and sparkly and nice, but no, it has to be just as shit as the real world.'
'At least the air feels nice.'
For a bit, Kyle looked at the branches.
"Should I get an actual stick? You gotta have a stick when you walk through the wilderness," he commented.
"Sure, why not?" he said after a shrug.
Kyle grabbed a big branch and pulled.
Yet, instead of the branch being pulled down, he was being pulled up.
"Huh," Kyle commented as he noticed that he had just accidentally performed a pullup with only a single arm.
"That's new," he said. "Preeeeetty sure I couldn't do that on Earth. Also, that branch is really hard. It barely even shook."
"Wait, I'm still in my body, right?" Kyle commented as he let go of the branch.
He touched his face.
'Doesn't feel different,' he thought.
Then, he looked at the ground.
'Ground also doesn't seem closer than usual. Still a six-foot giant! Would suck if I became a manlet. Imagine entering a fantasy world and becoming a non-dwarf dwarf. Couldn't be me.'
"However," he uttered as he pulled himself up again. "That's definitely different."
Kyle performed many slow pushups with one arm.
However, after about 20 of them, his arm started to hurt a bit, and he stopped.
'I ain't doing sports in a fucking forest.'
'Could really use a drink right about now.'
Kyle looked around and just saw trees everywhere.
'Whelp, no reason to stay here. Gotta get me some food and water. Water shouldn't be difficult. I mean, these trees are all leafy and shit. Rain is probably quite common here. Quite hard not to have water when it literally falls from the sky.'
A moment later, Kyle chose a random direction and just kept walking.
More trees.
Even more trees.
'The only fantastical thing I've seen so far is the stick and my newly acquired athleticism. Becoming this strong without any training is probably the most magical thing I've seen since magic lady dropped me off in bumfuck nowhere.'
Suddenly, Kyle heard some rustling to his right.
He looked over but didn't see anything moving.
And yet, for some reason, he heard very quiet rustling coming from there.
'Dangerous or not?' Kyle thought. 'Food or no food?'
He just kept looking at the bush with an evaluating, raised eyebrow.
Kyle took a step closer.
The rustling became a slight bit louder for a moment before becoming much quieter.
Kyle felt strange.
When he heard that rustling, his nose unconsciously sniffed the air, and he started to feel a bit excited.
Something inside of him was telling him that this was not danger but food.
'My predator senses are tingling,' Kyle thought.
Kyle slowly moved into a jumping position, and he could basically feel the nervous vibration coming from the bush.
He slowly took a step forward.
Nothing happened.
He took another step forward.
The rustling intensified, and Kyle jumped forward.
He fell through the bush but caught himself with his hands.
He couldn't see the prey or where it was moving to, but he could feel where the rapid rustling was coming from.
'You're not getting away!' Kyle thought as he sprinted after the fleeing prey.
He easily cleared three meters with just his first step, but he didn't notice since he was too preoccupied with chasing after his food.
A moment later, he tried to grab the fleeing animal again, but he flew over it.
The prey changed directions, and Kyle continued following it.
'Fucker's smaller than expected!'
Kyle became more careful as he followed his prey.
It wasn't very fast, and he didn't need to run.
His eyes almost perfectly followed the prey's path.
To him, it was completely obvious where it was, even though he couldn't see it at all.
It was no different from knowing where a fly was by hearing its annoying buzzing, except it was way finer.
Kyle grabbed the ground, but his target evaded to the left.
Next, he swooped his arm from side to side.
BANG!
And finally hit something!
The prey fell to the side, and Kyle's other arm immediately slammed down.
"Got it!" Kyle said with pride.
He could feel the prey wriggling in his hand, and he slowly pulled his hand up to look at it.
When he saw what he had in his hands, his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"A fucking hamster? Really?" he said.
Sure enough, he had an orange and white hamster in his hand.
'Can these useless shits even survive in the wild?' he thought.
'Fantasy land, my ass! First animal I see is a shitty-ass hamster.'
The next moment, Kyle heard something hard and massive, moving to his right.
He turned his head and looked over.
There was a big green boulder with plenty of rough plates.
Near the bottom of the boulder was a big black hole, and something was slowly coming out of it.
It was a massive green and scaly head with a terrifyingly thick and jagged jaw.
'Huh, it's a snapping turtle,' Kyle thought as he watched a head come out of the boulder that was wider than he was tall. 'A really big one.'
'Fantasy land... figures.'