And then Li Banfeng woke up.
Such a lovely dream, and it ended just like that.
He couldn’t remember most of what happened in the dream, but Li Banfeng knew it was a good one.
Seeing Li Banfeng’s fierce gaze, Meng De shivered ceaselessly inside the Month Plate. "Sir, you woke up laughing from your dream! It’s really not my fault. Madam, please say something!"
Li Banfeng wasn’t in the mood to deal with Meng De. He still had to go out and capture Lost Souls. But the Phonograph called out to him, "Husband, go ask the Judge’s Pen; he seems to have a way to deal with Foolish Cultivation."
Li Banfeng wondered.
Li Banfeng picked up the Judge’s Pen and earnestly sought its counsel. "Pen Bro, if you have a way out of the city, tell me. You surely don’t want to be trapped in this place either."
The Judge’s Pen took a long time to muster the will to express himself, yet he really didn’t feel like speaking.
Guessing that it probably couldn’t be explained in just a few words, Li Banfeng rephrased his question. "First, tell me, is the method I’m thinking of effective?"
"Too much," the Judge’s Pen uttered, just two words.
Li Banfeng wasn’t angry; he seriously pondered the meaning of these two words. "Are you saying I’m thinking too much, or doing too much?"
"Both."
"How is it too much?"
"A formidable person is watching."
"Do you have a simpler method?"
"Sigh," the Judge’s Pen sighed. After waiting for a good two and a half minutes, he uttered four words, "Fool’s Thousand Concerns..."
Li Banfeng had heard this idiom before: ’A fool’s thousand concerns may still yield one success.’
"But according to you, I’m still not thinking enough."
The Judge’s Pen showed an indescribable helplessness. After waiting another two minutes, he said four more words, "Fear of gains and losses."
"Pen Bro, I don’t understand," Li Banfeng said.
The Judge’s Pen said helplessly, "If you want to leave the city, just walk."
"I can’t get out! If I could, would I even bother with all this effort?"
The Phonograph grew impatient. "Husband, it’s Little Servant’s fault. Don’t ask him anymore. Let’s get on with our business."
Li Banfeng, pushing the Windmill Phonograph, had just reached the doorway when he suddenly heard the Judge’s Pen shout, "You dense fool, return my capital!"
Li Banfeng was taken aback that the Pen had suddenly said so much.
Back in Hundred Vine Valley, the Judge’s Pen had once moved Qiu Daxiang over a kilometer. He had always been too lazy to ask for his capital, but now he had suddenly spoken up. He had exerted a lot of effort back then. If he were to calculate the capital now, Li Banfeng would have to be lazy for a very long time.
"Pen Bro, let’s discuss this. Wait until after I leave Fool’s City, and then..."
It was too late. Li Banfeng was only halfway through speaking when he became too lazy to continue.
The Judge’s Pen had already taken his capital back.
He turned back to look at his bed.
The key was still outside. After yesterday’s fight with the fortune-teller, Li Banfeng had carelessly tossed it into the abandoned house. Leaving it in the abandoned house wasn’t a solution. Foolish Cultivation was so cunning; if he had an accomplice, they might just pick it up. No matter what, he had to go outside and check, or at the very least, switch the key’s hiding place.
Li Banfeng clenched his teeth and pushed the door open, turning back to glance at the Windmill Phonograph.
Li Banfeng left empty-handed, too lazy to bring a single Magical Treasure.
Once outside his room, Li Banfeng picked up the key and immediately wanted to go back and lie down again.
Once outside the house, Li Banfeng looked around. The area outside the abandoned house was open and empty—not a good spot to hide a key.
Turning to look back at the abandoned house behind him, Li Banfeng hesitated again.
...
Li Banfeng’s willpower was still somewhat strong. He resisted the urge to lie down on the spot and sleep, walking straight ahead along the alley.
After a brief walk, the alley took a turn.
Wandering aimlessly, Li Banfeng focused on combating his laziness, trying not to think about anything.
After passing through the alley and onto the main street, an old woman asked him, "Child, are you lost? Come have some water at auntie’s."
Li Banfeng walked on without uttering a word; he was too lazy to speak.
After a short walk, he saw that plaster seller again. "This is a secret family formula; it works with just one application. Friend, you’ve used my plasters before. Tell me, do they work or not?
"Friend, say something! If it doesn’t work, I’ll give you ten thousand. Let’s go to my place to get the money right now!"
Li Banfeng couldn’t be bothered with him.
Up ahead, a street performer took a piece of paper, rubbed it in his hands, and turned it into a dove. With a FLAP, FLAP, it flew away.
The magician shouted at Li Banfeng, "I’ve got two tricks here, friend. Do you want to learn them?
"If you want to learn, give me a couple of coins as a tip, just for fun. If not, give me a round of applause to liven things up."
Li Banfeng was too lazy to watch him.
Not much further along, a man looking like a doctor, carrying a medicine chest, approached, "Friend, you have a mole on your face that brings misfortune to your parents. Let me remove it for you. It’s just one dime."
Li Banfeng was too lazy to even curse at him.
...
Just like that, after more than two hours of walking, Li Banfeng looked up and found himself at the city gates.
Li Banfeng was too lazy to be happy.
He decided to sprint at full speed and leave this place immediately. However, after hesitating for a moment, Li Banfeng gave up.
His wife, the Phonograph, had said that there’s only one Taoist Sect in the world that can restrain Foolish Cultivation, yet it is unable to battle it.
Li Banfeng was too lazy to think about it.
After walking for several miles, a middle-aged man was standing ahead.
Li Banfeng was too lazy to look at him, yet he felt the man looked somewhat familiar.
"You..." Li Banfeng glared at Sun Tiecheng and then continued on his way.
Sun Tiecheng still wore that honest, simple look. He called out to Li Banfeng, "Sir, please come over and have a word."
"No." Li Banfeng was too lazy to talk.
"Li Qi, you’ve passed my test."
Li Banfeng was too lazy to ask.
"Li Qi, don’t rush off. I have something good for you!"
Li Banfeng was too lazy to want it.
"Li Qi, wait!" Sun Tiecheng had somehow procured a bed and placed it in front of Li Banfeng.
After struggling for a moment, Li Banfeng lay down on the bed, yawned, and said, "All right, speak."
PS: If you’re hungry, eat. If you’re sleepy, sleep. If you’re tired, rest. If you want to leave the city, just walk out!
Lazy Cultivation is just that pure.