The Iron Thread Worm writhed on the cheekbone, its head poking out from the inner corner of the eye.
Li Banfeng saw its head, very close to his eyeball.
The worm had a mouth, and though Li Banfeng couldn’t clearly see what was inside, he knew it was aiming for his eyeball, ready to bite.
Li Banfeng leaped to "shore," grabbed the Iron Thread Worm, and pulled with all his might.
The Iron Thread Worm’s skin was extremely tough and thick, with tiny barbs. A large patch of flesh and blood tore away as Li Banfeng forcefully ripped the worm from the corner of his eye.
He tossed the worm to the ground, wanting to stomp on it, but his legs had lost all sensation.
His leather shoes were riddled with holes; countless Iron Thread Worms had burrowed into his feet.
He used his key to open his Portable Residence, threw the key as far as he could, and staggered inside.
He collapsed, his body overcome by waves of itching and numbness as hundreds of worms wriggled within him.
WHOOSH~
A cloud of steam rushed toward him, enveloping Li Banfeng completely. It seeped into his wounds, killing the worms one by one.
Three phonograph needles extended towards Li Banfeng, first removing his shoes, then shredding his socks.
His feet were densely covered in incense-tip-sized holes, some with creatures still writhing inside.
"Goodness, they’re not all dead!" the Phonograph sighed. "What kind of terrible creatures are these? From the Iron Thread River? Worms from the Iron Thread River shouldn’t be this resilient."
Li Banfeng heard her but lacked the strength to reply.
He couldn’t answer anyway; he had no idea what was wrong with these worms.
The Phonograph stripped off Li Banfeng’s clothes. A cloud of steam swirled around him, and after a quarter of an hour, the worms writhing in the holes stopped moving.
Killing these worms was simple for the Phonograph, but she was worried she might harm Li Banfeng.
One phonograph needle pierced a hole on Li Banfeng’s ankle bone, prodding for a moment before hooking out an Iron Thread Worm over ten centimeters long.
Three phonograph needles worked in unison, picking out the dead Iron Thread Worms one by one.
Li Banfeng’s body spasmed. "My dear," he trembled, "please be gentler. Especially in the sensitive spots, please be very gentle."
There were plenty of worms in those sensitive spots too.
HISS HISS~
The Phonograph needles deliberately prodded a few times.
"Oh, my dear Husband~ When you were oiling the machine, why didn’t you ask me to be gentler? Now you know how it feels, don’t you? HO HO HO HO!"
「...」
Surrounded by a group of attendants, Lu Dongjun disembarked from the train. He had traveled from Greenwater City to Hai Chi Ridge.
As soon as he left the platform, reporters swarmed him.
"Mr. Lu, are you here for disaster relief?"
Lu Dongjun smiled faintly. "As I’ve said before, disaster relief is futile until the pests are eliminated. My purpose on this trip is to eradicate the Clan-Exterminating Mosquitoes of Hai Chi Ridge, leaving not a single one alive."
"Mr. Lu, the disaster is severe throughout Hai Chi Ridge. Where do you plan to begin?"
"I plan to start with First Ridge."
Hai Chi Ridge consisted of three mountain ridges. First Ridge was the most prosperous, a medium-sized city. Second Ridge comprised three towns, and Third Ridge was relatively remote, with dozens of villages of various sizes.
A reporter pressed, "Mr. Lu, the major families have exhausted all their methods, and the Outside Provinces have also deployed considerable forces, yet all have failed against the Clan-Exterminating Mosquitoes. Now that you’re taking action, how confident are you?"
Lu Dongjun looked at the reporter, his expression calm. "I am completely confident."
CLICK, CLICK, CLICK! The cameras flashed incessantly.
His words truly astounded the reporters.
Lu Dongjun continued, "This isn’t me boasting. I believe that in Puluo State, any major family, if they truly committed their full strength, could completely eradicate these pests. But have they? They’re afraid of exposing their family’s power, afraid of attracting unnecessary trouble. To this day, while the people of Hai Chi Ridge suffer from hunger and hardship, these families are still engrossed in their schemes. But the Lu Family is different, and I, Lu Dongjun, am different. Today, I make this vow: I will not leave Hai Chi Ridge until the Clan-Exterminating Mosquitoes are annihilated!"
The reporters were deeply impressed. One cautiously asked, "I heard there’s been some conflict between you and your family. Could you perhaps share some details?"
Lu Dongjun laughed. "The ’conflict’ you’re referring to involves Qiu Zhiheng, doesn’t it? Is his surname Lu? Is he a member of the Lu Family? What right does he have to meddle in the Lu Family’s affairs? Once matters in Hai Chi Ridge are settled, I will return to Greenwater Bay and clean house. I owe an explanation to my elder brother, to the Lu Family, and to Puluo State!"
These lines had been prepared in advance by Wan Jinxian, and Lu Dongjun had memorized them perfectly.
The reporters still wanted to press about the conflict between Lu Dongjun and Qiu Zhiheng, but Lu Dongjun gestured downwards with his hand. "The urgent priority now is not my family’s trivial matters. Ensuring the survival of the people of Hai Chi Ridge is paramount. I am prepared for a fight to the death against these pests. I hope the major families and various factions in Hai Chi Ridge can set aside their grievances and fight alongside me. I believe that if we unite, we can definitely..."
At the climax of his speech, a mosquito flew into Lu Dongjun’s mouth, making him cough twice.
Normally, such a comical incident wouldn’t befall an Eighth Layer Martial Cultivator.
However, Lu Dongjun was a bit agitated, and the mosquitoes in Hai Chi Ridge were indeed overwhelmingly numerous, practically omnipresent. Fortunately, these mosquitoes only consumed grain and didn’t bite humans, so they posed no direct threat to people.
The mosquitoes had gathered, drawn by the grain Lu Dongjun had brought.
This grain, specially treated by Wan Jinxian and sealed in glass containers, wasn’t for consumption but for exterminating mosquitoes.
Although Lu Dongjun had inadvertently swallowed a mosquito, it was but a minor flaw in an otherwise magnificent speech.
After leaving the train station, Wan Jinxian led Lu Dongjun to a residence.
He had prepared this place for Lu Dongjun in advance. While not as luxurious as his home in Greenwater Bay, it was fully equipped with all necessities.
Once settled, Lu Dongjun summoned Wan Jinxian. "In my opinion, we should act tomorrow and wipe out the mosquitoes in First Ridge!"
Wan Jinxian shook his head. "My lord, you’re too hasty. You must listen to me on this. We’ll wait a couple of days. Let the reporters build up the momentum, so everyone in Hai Chi Ridge knows who saved them!"
「...」
The campaign certainly created a stir. He Yuxiu looked at the newspaper, laughing with rage. "Damn it, this birdman Lu Dongjun, his words are so disgusting! As if he’s the only one doing anything while everyone else just watches. I’d like to see what he uses to exterminate the Clan-Exterminating Mosquitoes!"
He Haiqin, Head of the He Family, sat in silence for a long time before shaking his head slightly. "For Lu Dongjun to speak so boldly, he must have some trick up his sleeve."
He Yuxiu spat. "What tricks could he possibly have? That brain of his, if you dug it out, wouldn’t even weigh one tael. He’s far inferior to his brother. I think he couldn’t stand Greenwater City anymore and ran to Hai Chi Ridge to bluff and swindle his way through."
"We mustn’t be careless. If he truly manages to eliminate the mosquitoes, Hai Chi Ridge will become his domain. Haisheng!" He Haiqin summoned He Haisheng, the Third Young Master of the He Family, also He Jiaqing’s Third Uncle. "Go to Hai Chi Ridge. Keep a low profile and watch Lu Dongjun secretly. Find out exactly what he’s planning!"
「...」
HUFF, PUFF~
Having eliminated all the worms in Li Banfeng’s body, the Phonograph turned its attention to Pan Dehai’s piece of flesh.
The sound of a huqin arose, followed by an old song:
"The pipa’s melody, so lingering,
The song’s lyrics, heartbreakingly sing.
Worldly affairs, oh, how hard to tell, so hard to tell,
Lovely flowers lack admirers to compel.
How can a crow ever with a phoenix dwell?"
The song was titled "The Crow and the Phoenix." Its melody was mournful and plaintive, the lyrics filled with an unwilling resentment. Sung by his wife, it possessed a unique charm.
"Why are you singing that? Are you saying I’m not good enough for you?" Li Banfeng, covered in bandages, glared at the Phonograph.
"Oh, dear Husband, this Little Servant wasn’t referring to you, but to this piece of flesh. This flesh is a fine thing, but at your current cultivation level, you cannot consume it. If we just leave it here, its vitality will fade. Wouldn’t that be a waste?"
Her roundabout words all pointed to one thing.
"If you’re hungry, then eat it! Why call me a crow? Why not call me a toad!" Li Banfeng was still furious.
"Oh, dear Husband, this Little Servant truly wasn’t talking about you. How could you be a toad? Even if you were a toad, you’d be a golden one!"
"Alright, alright, just eat it!"
The Phonograph wasted no more time. Two needles pierced the flesh, greedily absorbing the Spiritual Energy within.
Red Lotus did not eat the living; the Phonograph did not eat the dead. These were their respective characteristics.
It took a full hour for his wife to drain all the Spirit Attribute from the flesh. The remainder was for Red Lotus.
Red Lotus was in the outer room. Li Banfeng couldn’t get out of bed, and the Phonograph was hesitant to directly contact Red Lotus—any contact would lead to a fight. So, she opened the door to the outer room and shouted, "Slut! There’s good food here! Come and get it yourself!"
Before Red Lotus could respond, someone rushed to the door and proclaimed loudly, "With a great laugh, I go out the door; how could I be a mere commoner!"
As the voice faded, the Tang Sword darted in and sliced off a small piece of the flesh.
"HO HAHAHA!" Delighted with its prize and fearing retaliation from the Phonograph and Red Lotus, the Tang Sword quickly retreated to the Third Room.
The Clock Pendulum seized the opportunity to suck a few mouthfuls of blood. The Phonograph didn’t stop it. "This wretched mare has certainly done a great service," she mused. "Let her drink."
The Earrings cried out, "Master~"
Li Banfeng placed the Earrings on the edge of the table, saying, "Go eat by yourselves!"
Eat by themselves? How could that be easy? The Earrings couldn’t move, and they didn’t dare act improperly in front of the Phonograph.
"Lady..." The Earrings respectfully greeted the Phonograph.
The Phonograph snorted coldly. A cloud of steam lifted the Earrings and carried them to the flesh, dousing them in copious amounts of rich essence.
The Earrings were overjoyed, thanking her repeatedly. The Phonograph responded coldly, "No need for thanks. Today, all you wretched mares will eat your fill."
From the Third Room, the Tang Sword laughed boisterously. "We are sons of men, not wretched mares!"
The Phonograph snapped, "One more word out of you, and I’ll melt you down for scrap iron!"
The Copper Lotus Flower, waiting no longer, conjured a whirlwind that swept up the remaining flesh. Closing its petals, it began Alchemy.
Was there anyone else? There was!
An aged voice cried out, "I’m so cold. Won’t someone warm me?"
It was the Teapot.
The Teapot gifted to Li Banfeng by Zhong Desong, the Bitter Cultivator.
Because this Magical Treasure was of too high a level and its cost too great, it had remained sealed. It was a surprise that it could speak today.
Actually, his wife had let it speak on purpose.
"Well, well, you old ghost. So now you feel the cold, eh? HUHAHAHA! Want some? Have you learned your manners? If not, you’ll only get to watch from now on."
"I’ve learned my manners, Lady. Please be magnanimous and spare me."
This Teapot was indeed very useful. Li Banfeng glanced at his wife, who responded, "Don’t worry, Husband. Once this Little Servant adds another room for you later, this Teapot won’t dare to act up."
HUFF~ HISS HISS HISS~
His wife yawned. "Oh, dear Husband, you stay in the room and heal properly. This Little Servant is sleepy and needs some rest."
This meal was a bit hard to digest, and his wife fell into a deep sleep.
PS: Li Banfeng is still lost. How should he find his way back?
Isn’t that obvious? Just follow the Iron Thread River and walk against the current!
Is it really that simple?
Christmas Eve is here, and the New Year is almost upon us, dear readers. Please accept a blessing from Shala.