Chapter 120: He’s Not My Man... Probably
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A few minutes after...ahem, reliving myself, I nudged the storeroom door open with my shoulder, stretching both arms up high until my back popped satisfyingly...probably alarming anyone nearby. The afternoon rush had finally calmed down, wrapping Joy’s Café in that peaceful lull that always settled between lunch and dinner.
For once, the espresso machine was quiet, soft music wafted through the speakers, and the rich aroma of coffee and pastries filled the air, as if it just wanted to stick around.
Honestly, after the week I’d had, these might just be the best five minutes of my life.
That was, if I hadn’t just had a wet dream of Damien out of nowhere. Damn, it’s like my brain, my soul and my heart were out to get me.
Help...
Joey and Maya were leaning against the counter, sipping from matching mugs while animatedly discussing something that clearly required a lot of hand gestures from Joey. He spotted me first, his face lighting up with that infectious golden retriever energy.
"There you are!" he exclaimed, and then, halfway through, something shifted in his expression as he really took in how I looked. The smile faded. "Uh...you good, man?"
I stiffened instinctively, defensive as I could be. "Y...yeah? What makes you t–think I’m not?"
For a moment I feared Joey had the strange ability to sense when someone just jerked off to the thought of their roommate.
Joey tilted his head. "I don’t know, you just seem..."
Maya glanced up from her coffee, studied me intently for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. "Probably because you look like a fire truck!"
My hand flew to my face. "I do not!"
"You totally do." She leaned in for a closer look. "Your ears are red too!"
"Oh my God."
I rubbed my hands over my face, wishing I could somehow erase the evidence. Spoiler fucking alert: it didn’t work. "I’m fine."
Joey narrowed his eyes like someone who knows me better than I care to admit. "You look like you just remembered every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done, all at once."
"I’ve done plenty of embarrassing things."
"Exactly."
"That doesn’t mean I’m dwelling on them right now."
Maya took another sip of her coffee. "So what are you thinking about?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"I’m not lying."
"You answered before I even finished asking."
With a heavy sigh, I admitted, "I have never regretted being friends with you two as much as I do right now."
"You love us," Joey said, cheerfully undeterred.
"I tolerate you."
"Same thing."
Rolling my eyes, I strolled behind the counter where one of Joey’s homemade blueberry muffins sat looking too good to resist. Without waiting for permission...and without even feeling guilty, I picked it up.
Joey gasped dramatically. "Did you just steal my muffin?"
"I prefer to think of it as ’borrowing without permission and with zero plans to return it.’"
"You...you monster!"
I took a big, deliberate bite just to make my stance clear.
And, infuriatingly, it was delicious. "Damn it," I muttered through a mouthful. "Why are you such a good baker, Maya?"
"Because, unlike some people, I have talent." Maya responded.
Maya chuckled softly as I leaned against the counter, munching on the stolen muffin and finally feeling a hint of peace after several chaotic days. For about thirty glorious seconds, no one mentioned Damien.
Then Joey, as he always did, ruined the moment. "So, this weekend..."
I swallowed my last bite. "What about it?"
"I’m collaborating with some of my bros, were throwing the biggest pool party Hawthorne University has ever seen."
I flinched, I know how this went... Joey would end up begging me to go, I wouldn’t be able to say no. I’m sure you can remember what happened the last time I dragged my ass to a party.
I sighed, "That’s a bold claim."
"It’s an accurate one. My buddy’s frat house has an insane backyard, a massive swimming pool, an outdoor bar, speakers everywhere, and enough space for at least two hundred people."
Maya’s eyes lit up. "Ooh!"
"We got music, drinks, barbecue, games, and all the hot people being hot as fuck in warm weather. Basically paradise!"
Maya nodded thoughtfully. "I’ve been feeling a bit down lately."
Joey looked concerned. "You have?"
"Nope!" She smiled innocently. "But seeing hot people in swimwear? That could totally boost my mood!"
"That’s the kind of enthusiasm I need, you’re finally speaking my language, Maya! What took you so long?" Joey exclaimed.
I finished the muffin. "Will there be free food?"
The café fell silent...Joey stared at me. Maya stared at me. Then they exchanged glances.
"What?" I asked, glancing between them.
Joey looked genuinely offended. "I just laid out what could be the greatest social event of our generation—"
"Mhm."
"—and the only detail you care about is free food?"
"I work two jobs!" I protested. "Groceries cost a fucking fortune!"
God, I sure wish I was billionaire so I could afford expensive shit without even knowing they’re expensive.
Maya burst out laughing. "I can’t believe that’s what sold you!"
"I’m practical," I defended myself.
"You’re just hungry!"
"Both can be true."
Joey covered his face with his hands and then dropped them. "Yes, Oliver. There will be food."
"What kind?"
"I don’t know. Chips? Burgers? Hot dogs?"
I pointed at him. "Now you’re speaking my language!"
He shook his head. "You are impossible."
"Been told that before!" I swiped one of his napkins too, just for good measure. "I’ll be there."
"Awesome!" He grinned. "I even invited Damien."
I blinked.
"You what?"
"Damien," he stated casually, as if it didn’t matter. "I invited him."
"Why?"
"Because he’s your roommate."
"That’s not a good enough reason—"
"And he’s actually pretty cool."
I scoffed. "He is not cool."
"You only say that because you’re hopelessly in lo—"
"Finish that sentence and I swear I’ll throw this coffee pot at your head."
Joey reconsidered quickly, wisely sensing I meant it. Unfortunately, Maya had no such instincts because, unlike most people...she didn’t fear my wrath. She rested her chin on her hand, grinning at me like someone with all the cards. "If I were you—"
"I already don’t like where this is going."
"—I’d make sure you actually show up."
"I was already planning to!"
"Good!" Her smile widened. "Otherwise some girl–man, whatever the fuck your precious Damien’s into...might take your man."
I nearly choked on my drink. The coughing fit was real, and Joey swiftly shoved a glass of water into my hands, as if he’d seen this happen before.
Fuck these two...
"Damien... is not my man—"
"Oh?"
"He isn’t—"
"So defensive," Maya pointed out.
"I am not defensive!"
"You sound defensive," Joey confirmed.
"I sound correct."
Maya raised an eyebrow, calm as ever. "So you wouldn’t care at all if some gorgeous girl flirted with Damien all night?"
I stiffened.