After finishing the fish, the director signaled the host to proceed with the next segment.
Host Liu Yishou: "Since this is a couples' variety show, there's one thing couples simply must do..."
He deliberately slowed his speech here.
[Is it what I'm thinking? Probably not.]Googlᴇ search ɴovᴇl(F)ɪre.ɴet
[They're filming a show, bro. Even if they dared, would the director dare to shoot it?]
[Even if the director dared to shoot it, would he live long enough to air it?]
Seeing the atmosphere sufficiently charged, Liu Yishou finally continued.
"That would be the 'Heartbeat Challenge'! Here are two heart rate monitors—please put them on."
"As the saying goes, the one who falls first in love is always at a disadvantage. So today, we'll test which of you can make the other's heart race first."
Honestly, Lin Ran was already planning his escape route.If he lost, he might get beaten. If he won, he might also get beaten.
What exactly was the production team trying to do? Had he somehow offended them?
Luo Yao put on the alien-looking helmet, her heart rate displaying a steady 68.
Seeing Lin Ran hesitate, she frowned—her heart rate instantly spiked.
Lin Ran sighed and put on the monitor. The moment he met Luo Yao's gaze, her yellow light flashed—her heart rate had already soared past 90.
Everyone froze, including Lin Ran himself.
Was his charm really that lethal?
Luo Yao asked, "What were you thinking about just now, A'Ran?"
Suddenly, Lin Ran understood her heart rate spike—she was angry.
So, he unleashed the ultimate textbook answer, ensuring the entire internet would remember it.
"I was wondering whether winning or losing would make you happier. But then I realized—it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you, and you love me too."
"Ding! Ding! Ding!" Her heart rate instantly breached 100, the red light flashing.
Liu Yishou was stunned. This experiment had been conducted many times, but never had a winner been decided so quickly.
Especially with long-married couples—the novelty usually fades, replaced by comfortable familiarity. Yet Lin Ran had obliterated Luo Yao’s defenses with just one sentence.
[Is Luo Yao really this much of a romantic?]
[I believe Luo Yao genuinely loves Lin Ran.]
Unbothered by the comments, Luo Yao shot Lin Ran a smoldering look—clearly signaling a reward.
Lin Ran’s heart rate jumped from 60 to 100, his own red light activating.
[Lin Ran’s lit up too! One flirtatious glance from Luo Yao did it.]
[Or maybe he’s just terrified?]
[You might be onto something…]
Lin Ran wasn’t scared—just flustered.
Host: "I declare Lin Ran the provisional winner!"
Lin Ran: "??? Provisional?"
The host gave him a sympathetic look. "It means you’ve won on-screen. What happens after the show ends… who knows?"
Lin Ran: "Oh, so that’s how you wanna play? Fine. Just wait till you see how my wife avenges me."
Ignoring the threat, the host moved to the final segment.
"Now, for today’s 'Heart-to-Heart' session—express your deepest feelings to each other."
This segment was new to Lin Ran and Luo Yao, but it wasn’t hard. After a pause, Luo Yao made her declaration.
Luo Yao: "A'Ran belongs only to me."
Lin Ran: "I love you. Even if Lin Tianba drops dead, I’ll keep loving you."
[LMAO Lin Ran’s playing 4D chess—taking digs while confessing.]
[World’s worst dad just got obliterated.]
[After reading Lin Ran’s backstory, ‘disgusting’ is the only word for Lin Tianba.]
[Anyone else think Luo Yao’s lowkey yandere?]
Watching the livestream, Lin Tianba hurled his phone in rage. "That ungrateful brat! I’ll kill him!"
The host grinned like a proud auntie. "And that concludes today’s episode of 'The Boss and His Wife'! For our final game—"
Lin Ran interrupted: "Hold up."
Host: "Yes, Mr. Lin? Any words for the audience?"
Lin Ran: "Nah. Their opinions don’t matter—I can’t crawl through the internet to argue with them anyway."
Host: "Then…?"
Lin Ran: "I just wanna perform a magic trick."
Host: "What trick?"
Lin Ran: "I bet your show’s about to end early."
The host smiled. "Mr. Lin, we’ve got time left. Even if I collapse, someone else can—"
Suddenly, she clutched her stomach. Why did it hurt so much?
The cameraman wobbled, nearly cutting the feed. The director was sweating bullets, struggling to keep filming.
The host frantically signaled the assistant director—only to find him squatting like a toddler, banging his head on the floor.
Then the director hurled his walkie-talkie and bellowed: "I AM LU BU OF BAOTOU! ALL DISOBEDIENT GUESTS SHALL CALL ME DADDY!"
The assistant director, barely conscious, lunged to cover the director’s mouth. "Sir! Stop spewing nonsense!"
The host, now hallucinating, mumbled: "Was… the food poisoned?"
Lin Ran blinked innocently. "No way! That fish was air-flown. And the mushroom soup? Special Yunnan imports—I shared my premium stash because you all work so hard."
Host: "Hehe! Thanks, Young Master Lin. How about… turning the director into soup next?"
The cameraman spat out his water. What kind of deranged script was this?!
With a final burst of clarity, he yelled, "SHOW’S OVER—DIRECTOR’S LOST IT!" before killing the feed.
The livestream ended in a storm of comments:
[Holy guacamole! Did the whole crew just go feral?!]
[My theory: Lin Ran got scammed with bad ingredients.]
[How hated IS this director? Even their delirium trashes him!]
[LMAO Lin Ran & Luo Yao—ditch the crew, go solo! Turn on donations; I’ll tip!]
[Lin Ran: Thanks for the pocket change, peasant. My dog eats better.]
[Luo Yao: Darling, they can’t afford our dog’s treats.]
As the broadcast cut, the entire crew collapsed.
And just like that, the hospital admitted a dozen new patients.