I looked at myself in the mirror, and what stared back at me was the visage of a young man in the throes of puberty. I'd just turned fifteen, and I could see the changes in my body—the broadening of my shoulders, the muscle definition, the all too frequent morning woods.
It was a strange feeling, to be on the cusp of manhood again, but also... it was a feeling of strength, of potential, of a future that seemed limitless.
I ran a hand through my hair, noting the way it had grown longer, falling just below my ears. I'd have to get it cut soon. I exhaled. Shit, I was slowly forgetting what I used to look like. I could recall the broad strokes, but the details, they were fading. It felt like I'd always been this way.
In the back of my mind, there was a weakening nudge of the life I had once lived, the one where I'd lived in Europe, where I'd played for some of the biggest teams in the world. That life, it felt like a dream now, a dream that was getting harder and harder to remember.
I wasn't sad; it was where life took me. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little melancholic.
Perhaps I was merely getting too old.
I scoffed, shaking my head. "You're only fifteen. Don't be dramatic." I mumbled to my reflection. Hard to feel like an old man in this body, but it is what it is.
I finished toweling myself off and walked out.
The bathroom door opened to reveal a cross-armed rebel Noona, standing there with an impatient tapping of her foot. She wore her usual uniform of ripped jeans, a tank top, and free flowing hair. "You done admiring yourself in the mirror?" She muttered, shouldering past me and into the bathroom.
Mia.
Now nineteen, she was still as fiery as ever—now more than ever, in fact. Her hair had grown even longer, almost reaching the small of her back. It was a silky cascade of butter yellow, and it suited her, somehow. Everything suited her, I'd begrudgingly admit. A chameleon of beauty. Any color or outfit. It didn't matter. In the right light, she was a goddess. In every light, she was a stunner.
I watched as she slammed the door shut, the sound reverberating through the hallway. I couldn't help but chuckle. I knew I'd taken my sweet time in the bathroom, but she could've at least asked me to hurry up instead of just barging in and giving me attitude. Then again, I grew used to this attitude, as of late.
Mia wasn't always like this.
For some reason, she grew aloof, and oftentimes, distant. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought she hated me. But I knew her well enough to know that there was something else beneath the surface, something she wasn't telling anyone.
Maybe she was dealing with her own demons, whatever they may be.
I walked down the hall to the kitchen, the smell of breakfast greeting me as I entered. My stomach rumbled in anticipation.
Eun Ha, my mother, was busy at the stove, her back to me. I watched her for a moment, noticing the way her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, the way her apron was slightly crooked, the way she hummed a tune under her breath.
My mind slowly drifted back to the other day, where I'd caught her in a particularly vulnerable moment. She was still acting a bit strange, and I didn't like it one bit. But what could I do? She didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't like forcing things, especially considering that I was fifteen, and she probably didn't take me as mature and experienced enough to understand whatever she was going through.
She turned around, a smile spreading across her face as she spotted me. "Morning, honey." She said, her voice warm and soothing. "Breakfast is almost ready." She gestured to the table, which was already set.
"Thanks, mother." I replied, taking a seat. I glanced around the empty room. "Where's everyone else?"
"Your father's at work; he won't be coming back for a while. Mia should be here soon, and Su Ah... well, you know Su Ah." Eun Ha laughed softly, bringing over a plate of eggs. She set it down in front of me, her hand brushing against my cheek as she did.
"Hah, she's probably still sleeping."
She must've been writing or something. Hard not to when she typed so loud.
Eun Ha nodded, her eyes twinkling.
We sat in silence for a while, the only sounds coming from the clinking of utensils and the occasional sigh. It was comfortable, familiar.
And then, the sound of footsteps. Mia walked into the room, her eyes locked on her phone. "Morning." She mumbled, barely glancing up as she took a seat next to me. She continued to tap away at her screen, her expression one of boredom.
"Good morning, dear." Eun Ha said, placing a cup of coffee in front of Mia. "Breakfast is ready when you are."
Mia grunted in response. She didn't look up, didn't even acknowledge me. What was going on with her? It was like she was trying to ignore me, but... why? I'd done nothing to offend her, at least not that I could remember.
I glanced at Eun Ha, who gave me a sympathetic smile and shrugged. She didn't seem to know either.
"Hey." I nudged her with my elbow. "Everything okay?"
She looked up at me, her eyes narrowed. "Why wouldn't it be?" She snapped.
"Well, you just seem... a little off." I replied, keeping my tone light.
"I'm fine." She said sharply, turning her attention back to her phone. Then, bothered by the pangs of guilt, she sighed. "Sorry. I just... a lot on my mind." She mumbled.
"Anything you want to talk about?"
"No, I don't." She snapped again, this time with more venom. "Just leave me alone, please."
"Okay, fine." I held up my hands in surrender. "I was just trying to be nice."
Her eyes softened, but only slightly. "I know, and I appreciate it." She paused, her lips pursed in thought. "Just not in the mood right now."
I shrugged, turning back to my breakfast. Whatever. Maybe she was on her period? In that case, it was better if I kept myself at large.
The rest of the meal passed in silence, save for the occasional sound of a fork scraping against a plate.
And then, the sound of more footsteps. Su Ah walked into the room, her hair a mess, her eyes half-closed. She looked at me, blinked, then shuffled over to the table, taking a seat. "Morning." She mumbled, her voice hoarse.
"Good morning, sweetheart." Eun Ha said, placing a cup of tea in front of her. "Breakfast is ready."
Su Ah nodded, her head lolling back as she yawned. "Thanks, mom." She reached for the plate of eggs, scooping a spoonful onto her plate. "So, what's going on?" She asked, her voice still thick with sleep.
"Jae-il is getting ready to go out, and Mia... well, Mia is just being Mia." Eun Ha replied with a small laugh.
"Hey!" Mia protested, looking up from her phone. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know what it means." I said, trying not to let the amusement bleed through.
Mia glared at me, but there was no real anger behind it. "Hmph." She turned back to her phone, but not without lightly kicking me underneath the table.
Well, at least she wasn't ignoring me anymore.
The rest of the meal was relatively uneventful. Su Ah ate in silence, her eyes still half-closed, while Mia continued to tap away at her phone, occasionally glancing up at me with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. It was a strange look, but I decided not to question it.
"So." Eun Ha started as she stared at me, chopsticks still in her hand. "The tournament you're in. The finals are coming up, aren't they?"
I nodded. "Yes, we're playing against Jeonbuk Hyundai."
The K League Youth Championship. Compared to Copa São Paulo de Futebol Júnior, this tournament wasn't much of a challenge. The only reason I wouldn't outright call it 'easy' was because my teammates weren't quite on my level.
Were they good? Yes, for a localized, domestic tournament, but nothing worldwide 'outstanding'.
"Ooh, scary. You're up against the big dogs, then."
Big dogs. Yes. slightly bigger Chihuahuas.
I looked at her with slight amusement. "You're starting to sound like father."
She laughed, waving a dismissive hand. "Your dad can't stop talking about it." She said. "He's so excited for you, you know. He's always bragging about his famous footballer son." Her voice was light, teasing, and yet, it made me smile nonetheless.
"He's just happy to have a conversation starter." I joked.
She nodded, a knowing look in her eyes. "He does like to talk a lot, doesn't he?"
"That's an understatement." I snorted. "He never shuts up."
She chuckled. "Well, that's your father for you." Then her smile fell slightly. She must've thought of something unpleasant.
I cleared my throat, taking liberty to add more food to her plate. "Don't forget to eat, mother. You've been looking a bit thin, lately."
She stared at me. "Oh, I... I didn't realize." She said, her voice soft. "Don't worry, Jae-il."
Didn't realize, huh?
I couldn't smile, not when subtle signs like this kept popping up. But I gave her a brief nod. If she continued down this path, I’d confront her about it, whether she liked it or not. This self-destructive behavior was something that could affect everyone—not just her.
"You think you can win?" It was Su Ah who'd spoken, her words coming out in a slow, sleepy drawl. "Against Jeonbuk, I mean. They're pretty good, aren't they?"
I shrugged. What was I supposed to say? The U-18 team I was recently promoted to was actually really good, compared to our peers in the same category. And unlike the U-12s, I wasn't treated as an outcast. In fact, everyone seemed to highly respect me—even the seniors. Our defense was solid, our midfield was tight, and our offense, well, it was me. Overall, I was pretty satisfied.
"We'll see." I said. I was confident, but not cocky. Anything could happen at this level. Jeonbuk was a balanced team, with only one outlier being a top-tier midfielder. "But yeah, I do think we can win. We've been doing well so far."
Su Ah hummed, her eyes drooping. She yawned again, stretching her arms over her head. Her breasts pushed against her top, straining the fabric. "Well, I hope you do." She said, her voice trailing off. "It would be nice to see you lift that trophy." Then she leaned forward, her chin resting on her hand. "When's the match, again?"
"Next Saturday." I said.
She nodded slowly, her eyelids fluttering. "Right. Next Saturday."
"Are you coming to watch?" I asked.
She closed her eyes. "Who knows?"
I rolled my eyes. I was used to her lethargic indifference by now. She was the most laid-back person I knew, and she didn't care what anyone else thought of her. She was just... Su Ah.
"Well, it's up to you." I said, pushing back my chair. "I'm gonna get ready." I stood up, grabbing my dishes and bringing them to the sink.
Mia was still staring at her phone, but her fingers had stopped moving. She was watching me out of the corner of her eye, a strange expression on her face. I couldn't quite place it, but it made me feel... uneasy.
xXx
The U-18 team was an entirely different beast than the U-12s.
Everyone was bigger, stronger, faster. They were all talented, and they all had a hunger for victory. It was a far cry from the immature kids who would rather bully the new guy, but that didn't bother me.
Of course, the word 'talented' was used generously here. If you were to give them the FIFA ratings, the average would probably be around 50.
"Jae-il!" A familiar voice called out.
I turned to see Park Jong-su jogging towards me, a big grin on his face. He was one of the defenders, and a quite good one as well. Honestly, I couldn't ask for more. "Hey, man." He said, reaching out to bump fists with me. "Ready for the big game?"
I smiled, returning the fist bump.
"Reborn ready."