"What." I stared at her, not sure I'd heard her correctly.
"Kissing. Y'know, putting your lips on someone else's lips." She mimicked a kissing face. "It's a thing people do, supposedly."
"......"
I was speechless. This wasn't the type of conversation I thought I'd be having with someone who was practically my sister. "What kind of question is that?"
Like, seriously.
"Just curious." Mia shrugged. "I mean, we're at that age, you know? Some of my friends have started talking about it. So, I was wondering if you've ever thought about it." Her tone was casual, but her eyes were bright with curiosity. "For example, did you know that I secretly caught Su Ah kissing her pillow? Or that mom and dad used to be so gross in front of me when they thought I wasn't looking? It's like, they didn't care. But I was only five or six years old, y'know? It was so weird and gross. It still is. And I'm older now." She made an overly disgusted face.
"......" I merely blinked at those words. Jesus Christ. "Noona, I likely won't be thinking about that stuff until I'm a few years older." I finally said.
"Really?" She looked surprised. "I thought all boys were obsessed with that stuff, especially the cute ones." She said casually.
"Well, I'm not most boys." I said dryly.
"That's true." She conceded, nodding. "It always feels like I'm talking to someone way older. It's so creepy, but cool at the same time." She mused, a finger tapping her chin thoughtfully. "That's why I thought you might've had some thoughts about it. I know that's not something a sister and brother should be talking about, but I don't see it like that, you know? You're just the cool kid down the street. The one who teaches you how to swear and get away with it." Her eyes met mine, a genuine warmth in them. "You're not just a brother to me. You're a friend."
"......"
I looked back at her, my gaze steady. "And you're not just a sister to me." I responded, my voice even. "You're a pain in my ass."
"Hey!" She punched my shoulder playfully, but she was smiling. "Asshole."
She didn't look offended at all.
We sat there for a while longer, watching the sunset paint the sky in shades of orange and gold. The warmth of the day began to fade, a gentle coolness settling in. Soon, it would be time to head home. I was kind of looking fowards to it. Mia's choice of conversation had been... disconcerting, to say the least.
Maybe I was looking too much into it.
Maybe it was completely normal.
Maybe I was the weird one for thinking there was an ulterior motive. Perhaps, I was simply a creep. I didn't want to think about that.
As the light began to fade and the first stars appeared in the sky, Mia and I got up from the bench. "We should get going." I said. "Mom will be expecting us soon."
Mia nodded in agreement. "Yeah, let's head back." She paused, looking at me for a moment, her head tilted slightly to the side. "Hey, can I ask you something?" Her voice was soft, almost shy. "You don't have to say yes, of course."
"Go ahead." I said, preparing myself for whatever weird question she had in store.
"Can I, uh..." She hesitated, looking at me, then away, then back at me again. "Can I hold your hand? On the way back, I mean." She bit her lip. "It's just that it's getting a little dark, and, well, I feel safer when I'm holding your hand." She finished quickly, looking at me with those big, amber eyes of hers.
"......"
I didn't have a good reason to refuse her, so I extended my hand towards her. "Sure, Noona."
"Thanks!" She beamed at me, slipping her hand into mine. Her palm was warm and a little sweaty, her fingers intertwining with mine. "It feels nice, doesn't it?" She asked, looking down at our joined hands.
I didn't know about that. In fact, I was pretty sure this wasn't a good idea. But I couldn't bring myself to say that.
Her reasoning wasn't unfounded either, and considering the way my previous mother died, maybe it was a legitimate fear.
I didn't want to think about what I'd do to someone who'd try to harm her.
But this smelled a bit like emotional manipulation.
I'd have to be careful with that.
I squeezed her hand gently. "Let's go, Mia Noona." I said, and together, we started walking back home, her hand in mine, and a feeling of unease settling in the pit of my stomach.
I briefly looked back at her.
She grinned at me, eyes narrowed.
That wasn't the face of someone scared to walk alone at night.
xXx
The days passed by in a blur. Weeks. Then months.
Yeong Gu would always come back from a business trip, stay a couple of days, seldom a week, then leave again. I didn't envy him at all, despite knowing very well that going professional in any sport would entail such sacrifices. At least he made enough money to make it worth his while.
In this timelapse, I've also had my eighth birthday. It was a relatively simple affair. A cake, presents, and my family's love. I was getting used to this new life, as slow as it was.
"Jae-il." Eun Ha said softly. "Make a wish and blow the candles."
I nodded and closed my eyes. A wish... what to wish for?
World peace? Health and longevity for my current family? A Ballon D'or at ten years old?
In the end, I settled for something that I hoped would never come true: 'May I never see my loved ones die in front of me again.'
I blew out the candle.
"Yaaaay! Happy birthday, lil' bro!" Mia cheered, clapping her hands enthusiastically before getting me in a chokehold. Su Ah, sitting next to her, clapped along, a small smile on her lips. She'd gotten taller, and her features had begun to sharpen. Her hair was longer, reaching down to her shoulders.
Yeong Gu, on the other side of the table, was smiling. His eyes were warm, and he looked at me with pride. "Congratulations, son." He said, his deep voice filled with affection.
Eun Ha, next to him, was beaming. Her long hair was tied back in a ponytail, and she wore a simple blue dress. "Make sure you enjoy your presents later, sweetie." She said. There was a big pile; Yeong Gu hadn't held back at all.
"Thank you." I replied, my voice soft but sincere.
"Time to cut the cake!" Mia exclaimed, reaching for the knife.
"Ah, ah." Eun Ha admonished her, taking the knife from her hand. "Let's do this properly, shall we?" She began cutting the cake, serving each of us a slice.
The cake was a masterpiece, decorated with chocolate icing and topped with strawberries.
The merriment and cheering faded as night came. The leftovers were put in the refrigerator, the living room was cleaned, and we all went to our rooms.
I stared the ceiling of my room.
Time fast forwarded again.
I played a lot of football in this period. My mom, though she didn't fully understand the game, would sometimes watch and cheer me on. Su Ah occasionally joined in, usually preferring to sit on the sidelines and read her book.
Mia, well, she was always there. Her blonde dye seemed to have become a permanent fixture.
Meanwhile, my team, FC Seoul Academy, went on to win every single game—by a large margin. The results were always above 10 goals for our team, and only once did we allow a goal, though that was due to a fumble from our keeper and the defense.
We were dominating our category, and I was breaking all the scoring records. It was getting obvious to anyone who watched the games that I didn't belong there. Even if I hadn't recovered some of my previous life's skills, I still wouldn't have had any trouble.
It wasn't about individual prowess alone, but experience as well. I could see holes in their playstyles, their formations, their tactics, their weaknesses. I could read their movements, their habits, and their reactions.
They were children playing a man's game.
I was a man playing a child's game.
Coach Park's suggestion was starting to come to fruition.
After a match against a local team from Busan, in which we won 13-0, Coach Park approached me with a solemn expression. "Jae-il." He said, his voice low and serious. "I've been thinking about what I told you a few months ago."
I nodded, waiting for him to continue. My parents had been called to the club, and we were all now in the office of the Academy Director.
The Director, a tall, thin man with sharp features and a serious expression, was seated behind his desk, his hands steepled in front of him. Coach Park was standing next to him, straight as a javelin, his cap slightly lowered.
My parents were sitting across from him, their attention focused on him. I was standing beside them, my expression neutral, as if I wasn't aware of the topic of this meeting.
"Jae-il." Coach Park reiterated. "Your performances this season have been nothing short of sensational. You're not just the leading scorer in the U-10 league; you're a standout talent in our entire academy. It's evident to everyone that you require a higher level of competition to further your development."
Director Lee concurred with a nod. "We've deliberated on this extensively, and we are of the firm belief that the most beneficial step for your progression, Jae-il, is a promotion to the U-12 team."