Chapter 186: Flame of Obsession
"Ash...?"
As soon as Ash heard her voice, his knees slowly buckled beneath him, and he gently knelt beside Elysia’s bed. His hands were visibly trembling, not from fear, but from a storm of emotions that he had kept buried deep inside.
Yet despite the shaking, he reached forward and held her hand, his fingers wrapping around hers with a care so gentle, as if he feared even the slightest pressure might shatter her.
His lips moved slowly, and his voice, though quiet, carried the weight of everything he had been holding in.
"Y-Yeah... it’s me."
Elysia gave a faint smile when she heard him. It was soft and light, yet for Ash, it was like the world had just begun breathing again.
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Before she could say anything else, he lowered his head, resting his forehead against the back of her hand as if her touch was the only thing keeping him grounded at that moment.
A single tear escaped from the corner of his eye, trailing down his cheek without resistance.
I’m glad... I’m really glad you’re still here.
"I’m sorry... I really am. I shouldn’t have tried to keep my distance from you in the beginning. I thought staying away was the right choice, but..."
His voice shook slightly as he continued, and his hold on her hand became a little firmer, almost desperate.
"It’s always because of me that you get hurt. I’m sorry, Elysia... I’m truly sorry."
If something had happened to her, if she hadn’t woken up, I don’t know what I would have done. I would never have forgiven myself. Never.
"It was not your fault. It was my own selfishness, so please do not blame yourself."
Elysia’s voice came out louder than before, slightly shaky but clear enough to reach him.
Hearing those words, Ash’s body trembled as if something inside him cracked. He slowly looked up with eyes still red and damp, locking his gaze with hers as he muttered softly but firmly,
"So, at least you know it was your fault. I already warned you, I told you clearly to stay where you were, but you ignored that and went ahead to confront someone far beyond your current strength. What were you thinking?"
His voice carried a bitter tone, a mixture of anger, frustration, worry, and pain. Whether he was scolding her or simply letting his heart speak, even he didn’t know anymore.
"You never think about me, do you? Do you really think it was easy for me to live without you? You cannot imagine the kind of hell I went through every single day."
He exhaled deeply, his voice slightly trembling now.
"It felt like someone was stabbing my heart again and again, every moment, every breath. It was painful, it was cruel, and it pushed me so close to the edge that I almost ended it all. I was ready to take my own life, Elysia. The only thing that stopped me... was that one damn promise I made to you."
His eyes closed for a moment as he tried to hold back the flood of emotions.
"Do you think it is easy for me to live without you? Do you enjoy making me go through this pain again and again?"
Ash’s voice cracked slightly at the end, and although his expression didn’t show much, the weight behind every word made it impossible to miss how deeply he had suffered.
The World Tree, sensing the intensity of emotions in the air, quietly walked away with Serena, giving them space and choosing not to interrupt what was clearly a conversation that had waited far too long.
Elysia’s eyes trembled. Tears welled up rapidly, spilling down her cheeks in streams that would not stop. She looked like a child who had finally realized how deeply they had hurt someone they loved.
But Ash didn’t look away. He wanted her to feel it. He wanted her to understand just how much she meant to him, and how deeply her actions had affected him.
He wanted her to feel bad, not out of cruelty, but because if she felt the weight of her mistake now, then maybe—just maybe—she would never make the same mistake again.
Her voice cracked as she spoke, raw and full of regret.
"I-I am s-sorry, I swear I won’t do it again. I truly did not mean to hurt you like this. I didn’t want to cause you pain. I was just... I was just being selfish."
She was shaking now, both from weakness and emotion.
"I promise, I will never do something this stupid again. Please believe me, I will listen to you next time. I promise."
Ash watched her silently for a few seconds, then slowly moved closer and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. He could no longer bear to see her cry like this.
"It’s alright. Just rest for now. You still need to recover completely before we talk more."
He placed a hand softly over her forehead, making sure she was comfortable. By now, the only thing left was physical weakness, and with the kind of life-rich environment they were in, she would likely recover within half a day.
As Ash was about to get up to bring her some food, Elysia’s fingers tightened around his sleeve, stopping him. He paused and looked at her with concern, kneeling down again beside her.
"What is it? Do you need anything?"
Elysia bit her lower lip, her eyes hesitant, and then spoke with difficulty.
"I-It’s just... I never intended to fight that demon, Ash. I swear, I didn’t plan to go against your words. But something strange happened. My body... it moved on its own. As if someone else was controlling me. It wasn’t truly my decision."
Ash’s expression did not change much on the surface, but his heart grew slightly wary. However, he didn’t let it show. Instead, he gave her a gentle smile and nodded.
"I believe you. It’s okay. You don’t need to worry anymore. You’re safe now."
Then, without saying anything further, he stood up slowly and teleported away to bring food for her.
***
[Elysia’s POV]
As the faint shimmer of teleportation slowly disappeared, the warmth that Ash had left behind began to fade from the air, as if it had never existed.
Elysia’s fingers remained curled around the empty space where his sleeve had once been. For a long moment, she did not move at all. Her eyes remained open, unfocused, and quietly staring at the spot where Ash had stood just a few seconds ago.
But her mind was far away. It had drifted to the lingering feel of his voice in the air, the softness of his fingers that had gently held hers, and the tear that had fallen onto her hand, warm and trembling, full of pain he couldn’t say aloud.
She slowly brought her curled hand to her chest and held it there tightly. The echo of his words still rang through her ears, like whispers refusing to fade.
["Do you enjoy making me go through this pain again and again?"]
That one sentence, that one line, kept playing in her mind like a haunting melody that refused to stop. It repeated itself again and again, wrapping itself around her thoughts and sinking deeper into her heart.
I never wanted to hurt you... I never meant to be the reason behind your pain...
In her previous life, she had left him behind. Even though the choice had not been hers, the result had still caused him pain. Now in this life too, despite everything, she had taken a reckless risk.
She had put herself in danger again. Whether someone had truly taken control of her body or not, whether it was a spell or something else, it didn’t matter in the end.
She had hurt him again. She had made him cry. She had forced him to break down in front of her, and that was something she could never forgive herself for.
She had no idea what he had gone through to bring her back. She could not imagine what kind of nightmares he had faced or what kind of helplessness had weighed him down when he thought he was losing her again.
"I’m sorry... I’m really, really sorry," she whispered softly, her voice shaking as if her chest could no longer hold in the storm within her. Even though no one was there to hear, the words escaped from her lips in a cracked voice that broke like fragile glass.
Slowly, she pulled the soft blanket up to her chin. Her hands trembled slightly as she curled up, trying to calm the rising storm in her chest. But the more she tried to breathe, the heavier it felt.
Something felt strange. Something inside her was not sitting right.
The silence stretched on for what felt like forever. The ache in her chest refused to fade away. Her guilt did not soften with time. Instead, it slowly began to twist and change into something else.
I am sorry... I truly am sorry. But why... why did I make him suffer again?
Why did I act without thinking? He cried... because of me. He broke down, not because of anyone else, but because of what I did.
He suffered alone. And I was the cause. His eyes were so cold, filled with pain I had never seen before. I can’t even begin to understand what he went through when I wasn’t beside him.
Her heartbeat began to speed up, pounding harder in her chest like a machine with no pause.
Her breaths turned shallow, the air catching in her throat as her body began to tremble again. Her fingers clutched the sheets tightly as if they were the only thing grounding her.
He said he almost gave up on living. He said each day was like torture, because I wasn’t there. Because I left him alone when he needed me the most.
I should not have asked him to save that little girl. She should have died. I should have stayed with him, lived by his side, where I truly belonged.
Yes... it was my mistake.
A quiet flame stirred within her heart. At first, it was a gentle flicker, almost fragile, like a soft light in a dark room.
But that flame did not stay gentle for long.
It grew.
And with each breath she took, it burned brighter. Stronger. Fiercer.
It slowly consumed the weight of guilt she had carried, the deep well of sadness inside her, and the unbearable regret that had taken root in her chest.
All of it was swallowed by that growing flame.
And from that fire... something else was born.
I will never leave him alone gain.
Not because she wanted to protect him.
But because the thought of him breaking down again was something she would never allow.
Her sadness didn’t fade.
It twisted.
Her guilt didn’t vanish.
It turned into something darker.
Something terrifying.
I will leave behind my weak self and I will become stronger, strong enough that he will not have to worry about me, strong enough to protect him.
And at that moment, beneath the soft sheets of the world tree’s care—
Obsession was born.
***