[Aaron Side Story Episode 37]
4. The one who longs for power (8)
“…”
Ridigion made the sword he was holding disappear.
It wasn’t the first sword the man used.
It was an unknown weapon with a translucent shape.
5 novelty.
I knew.
The strongest weapons given to the 1st party by the Master of Niflheim.
One of them was taken out by Lidigion.
“It is also difficult. accepting this.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“what?”
“How did you stop it?”
Ridigion opened his mouth.
How did you get that skill back?
The brief explanation is over.
“What is it?”
Aaron couldn’t help but smile.
“Doesn’t it make sense…”
Only then was defeat decided.
“It wasn’t a fair fight from the beginning. I know you and you don’t know me, but how can I win?”
It’s not the first time that Ridigion has fought the bearer of karma.
He knew every detail of how to fight and what techniques to use.
“Moreover, your last spear was the one your master used to defeat me.”
can’t forget
Ridigion has walked a tightrope, finding a way out in the endless dosan forest.
No matter how many attacks he had, there was no such thing as a blow that he could neither avoid nor stop.
In any case, after pulling out the ‘Sword in the Heart’, Ridigion was able to clearly read the opponent’s moves.
But only once in a lifetime.
There was a window that I knew but couldn’t do anything about.
There was a time when I had no choice but to stand still, knowing where to go and what to do.
This is the second time that Ridigion is facing a fall in business.
In order to prevent that blow, I have been training hard and repeatedly.
Aaron’s spear could not work.
“I lost.”
Aaron shook his head.
I’ve used up all the fuel to burn my dreams.
Right now Aaron couldn’t use any power.
“It wasn’t a win from the beginning, so where is the win or loss?”
“A loss is a loss.”
“If I didn’t know your strength, the process would have been different.”
“Didn’t Ridigion look after me too? Whatever you do, come. don’t wait is this the only thing Wasn’t it just provocation? Whoa. In addition, the fact that the process has changed means that you will lose anyway, right?”
“Um, that’s right.”
What is it?
It wasn’t even a win.
An adult playing with a child.
“It was great though.”
“….”
“Why but?”
“it’s nothing.”
“To be stronger, Aaron. Unless you want to disgrace your master’s name.”
Long-cloth sleeves flutter.
Lydigion turned his back.
‘Did he admit it…?’
called my name for the first time
Aaron stood there with his mouth shut.
“Your master will be in the graveyard. The direction is yes, north here. You can tell the direction by looking in the direction the sun sets.”
The Lidigion slowly began to drift away.
‘Master is waiting for me.’
It’s called a cemetery, but it’s the first place I’ve heard of.
north of here
Twilight always sets on this plain, so you can know the direction by pointing the land where the sun sets to the west.
Aaron walked.
just walked
‘I lost.’
In the end, I couldn’t beat the man.
Instead of winning, he was made fun of on the palm of his hand.
But…
after.
Aaron gave a refreshing smile.
Although the long time accumulated over the years has disappeared in a bubble.
The dream isn’t over yet.
* * *
The place called the cemetery appeared after walking for half a day.
I saw a boy and a woman in a robe.
The two seemed to be talking.
‘He was said to be a healer…’
An unidentified woman wearing a hood and a mask.
I can’t hear your voice.
Suddenly, the therapist’s gaze turned to Aaron.
“…”
The conversation was interrupted.
It must have been because of the sudden appearance of an uninvited guest.
The healer must have used magic and disappeared as a fog.
“Are you done?”
The boy grinned at Aaron.
“yes.”
“result?”
“I lost.”
“of course. How do you beat him?”
“Still, you worked hard!”
“What do you do when you work hard? I lost.”
“That’s true…”
The boy patted Aaron on the back.
“Where did you stick properly! Originally, a fool like you wasn’t even an opponent that could stand on the same line?”
“Same line…”
Aaron repeated.
It’s the same line.
“It doesn’t make sense to win. There is a difference in level and grade between you and him, and the difference in skills is too great. what about the experience Doesn’t it make sense to win with one karma?”
“That is correct.”
Today is the first time I’ve dealt with up properly.
If we won straight away, it would have been a no-brainer.
Aaron’s resentment was vain greed.
‘okay.’
Originally, I couldn’t even make eye contact with Ridigion.
The man lives in a world Aaron could never dream of.
But Aaron had at least one foot in the same world as that man.
“Of course, that’s all over.”
“It’s over.”
“You can’t use UP anymore?”
The master laughed evilly.
“What about this? What you’ve built up over a long period of hard work is lost in a single fight?”
“…Ugh.”
“Can I do that? can you build it again? Do you think you can go through that high school again? from scratch again. Start again!”
Thinking about
it makes me dizzy.
“The price is not right. It is not maintained once built. When you fight, it disappears. Are you going through all that hard work to enjoy a little of that?”
Aaron became sullen.
Then I saw it.
When fighting right away, it was excited, but each small shadow fragment contained a lot of effort and time.
If you practice close to a hundred years, you can categorize very few dreams.
Aron’s body disappears and his mind undergoes reconstruction as he types small dreams into shadows.
The one-time process of building up shadows in this way was called an allegory.
A hundred years rolled like that, very little.
Step by step, he builds up the material that will make his dream a reality.
Aaron had just used up all the spirits he had accumulated over the years.
‘It’s all gone after one fight.’
It can be so inefficient.
“Why didn’t you leave it like that! Who wants to spend it all up? When are you going to build it again huh?”
“If you can’t do it.”
Aaron responded with a smirk.
“It is better. As much as you try, you become stronger. Where can such a simple ability come from?”
“Even if all the effort shed blood and sweat is lost after a single fight?”
“You just have to build it up again.”
Others will be stunned and bored.
Aaron is different.
There is no other way for Aaron, who has no talent, to become stronger.
Above all, don’t you have a dream?
This kind of penalty is nothing.
It couldn’t even be called a penalty.
Beings with pure dreams have a different way of thinking than ordinary humans.
I could do anything.
If you put your mind to it, even until you pass out.
“That’s right. it will be possible for you So you can write karma.”
It was such a force from the start.
“So what have you been doing Master?”
“Don’t you see? Where would be the best place to put your tombstone? I was thinking.”
“yes? What is that…”
Aaron looked ahead.
What should I call this place?
A tombstone is embedded in a fenced-in area.
Only the number of tombstones reached dozens.
“Now there is not much free space. I’ll just have to put it in a corner.”
There are several tombstones leaning against the fence.
The boy moved one of them to an empty place.
“What is that Master…?”
“Your life is too short.”
Aaron widened his eyes.
“Have you realized karma? can’t stop now You cling to that power endlessly and become a ghost.”
“You become a ghost?”
“Well, if your dream of becoming strong is really pure, you don’t need to have a personality, right? It just gets in the way. Then your heart, which was Aaron, will disappear and the ghost will take its place.”
grunt.
The boy placed the nameless tombstone on the empty ground in the corner.
It’s as if Aaron’s place has been decided.
“Did you not speak? My second role is to kill the ghost. Only a few ghosts are sleeping in this graveyard.”
Aaron understood what the boy meant.
The real hardship starts now.
The fact that the power of karma will eventually eat away at Aaron’s heart.
In the place where the human heart used to be, only the eternal desire to become stronger remains and runs towards destruction.
“…”
Aaron stood still.
My back got cold.
“Are you still satisfied? Because I got the power I wanted. Aren’t you going to get beaten up outside?”
“Why are you… saying that?”
“Why? is to tell you the truth You will die soon.”
“Master… don’t you know how? A way to overcome that…”
The boy’s gaze turned to the gravestones.
There was nothing written on the tombstones erected here and there, but each one had an owner.
“You are not the first to write karma after me. It is not difficult if you understand the principle.”
said the boy.
“But no one has been able to keep the human heart in that state to the end.”
It is different from the teacher Aaron knew.
In his memory, the teacher was an eccentric but always warm-hearted person who valued the human heart and watched over the student’s growth.
“A ghost ghost.”
Aaron muttered.
If you don’t realize your karma, you become a ghost.
Even if you realize your karma, you become a ghost.
If that’s the case, you’re going to die anyway.
‘Master’s joke?’
no.
Aaron knows the nature of this power better than anyone else.
A pure desire to be strong without any purpose.
In order to fulfill such desires, dreams can be abandoned.
even the human mind.
In fact, from the point of view of a pure dream, Aaron’s personality was nothing more than an impurity.
“Teacher, please tell me. What should I do?”
“Okay. Knowing that, why do these tombstones exist?”
“Doesn’t Master even know?”
“okay.”
Aaron was silent for a moment, then spoke again.
“Isn’t Master different? You are staying sane.”
“I have a talent. Isn’t talent at the end of everything in the world?”
“Are you talented?”
“I have a very special talent.”
The boy did not make eye contact with Aaron.
Looking through the tombstones one by one.
“What kind of talent is that?”
“It’s a talent that doesn’t feel anything.”
“yes?”
A talent that can’t feel anything?
Aaron was dumbfounded by the unexpected answer.
“Do you know why the human heart is eaten away by time? It’s because I feel emotions and feelings.”
said the boy.
No color was revealed in that voice.
“But what if there was no heart from the start? What if there is no heart to gnaw? What if your heart was empty from birth?”
“…”
“It’s okay. There is no difference between here and outside. So you can stand it. No matter how much time passes.”
“What the hell is that…”
“So I told you? In the end, talent decides everything.”
have no heart
So even if you attain karma, it doesn’t matter.
It is intact despite the passage of time and can maintain its reason despite the karmic longing for purity.
‘Have you no heart?’
What do you mean?
“There are many people in the world who were born with the separation of stars. Even the temperature is the same. Because he has a special organ that others don’t have. so do i.”
Aaron tried to understand his master’s words.
have no heart
Does that mean you can’t feel emotions soon?
But it was strange.
The teacher he knew was more emotionally expressive than anyone else.
He was always a cheerful and laughing person.
“You say you were a merchant, but don’t you know that? tell the world There are many kids who are smiling on the outside and holding a knife on the inside.”
“Master, then Master…”
The boy looked back.
Finally, the eyes of the two met.
Aaron’s face hardened.
A look I’ve never seen before.
It had a face like a doll.
There must have been warm blood flowing under the skin, but the boy’s face did not show any vitality.
As if he died alive.
“Each person has a different talent.”
said the boy.
“Like you have a heart and I don’t have a heart. Just as Gion knew from the beginning the principle of nothingness that you hadn’t realized all your life. That’s their talent.”
Suddenly.
The boy’s expression changed.
Just like the teacher he always knew, the boy had a single smile.
“Now you know my talent, right? Then, calmly adapt to reality. I will die soon, but if I save it slowly…”
“Master.”
“why?”
“What is your dream, Master?”
The boy’s eyebrows went up.
“What nonsense are you talking about? suddenly.”
“Everyone who comes here has a mental illness. This is what Master said.”
“so?”
“It seems like Master did the same.”
“what?”
“Master said this. A sickness of the mind is a sickness after all. It should be treated properly.”
The boy clicked his tongue in amazement.
“Isn’t that what Master wanted? The feeling of not feeling it.”
“You believe what I just said? It might be a joke.”
“I don’t want to question anything Master said.”
Aaron said seriously.
Others say that Aaron’s personality is not funny, but they don’t know.
“Just as I came here because I wanted to be healed of my mental illness, Master must have done the same.”
Aaron’s words continued.
“Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Help me? you? me?”
“As Master opened the way for me, I also want to repay Master.”
“how?”
“I don’t know yet. You should think about it.”
“What are you thinking about? I have nowhere to write.”
“Master said he had no heart, but that is not true.”
The boy was silent.
Aaron continued.
“If Master did not have a human heart, he would not have saved me or erected a tombstone here. You probably didn’t even tell me your true intentions.”
“….”
“Teacher clearly has a heart. You just don’t feel it.”
“…”
“I don’t know what’s possible for me, but the human mind is built to help each other. I think so. Just as Master saved me, I may have something to do for Master.”
“so. How are you going to help me?”
Aaron scratched his head.
“Please give me some time to think about it.”
“Stupid child. You shouldn’t spit out words without any countermeasures. And who saved you? He said he didn’t have the slightest desire to help you. It’s just a whim.”
“Isn’t it up to the person who accepts it?”
Aaron smiled.
One thing was certain.
Just like himself, the teacher is also suffering from a mental illness.
the master had said
Mental illness is not something to watch.
is to treat
In this way, the teacher taught Aaron how to defeat the despair that slept deeply in his memory.
If you truly do not have a heart, you cannot heal the other person’s heart.
You may not feel it, but it definitely exists for the boy.
The graveyard was supposed to be to inform Aaron of the dangers of karma.
Don’t overdo it.
Don’t be greedy.
Then you can handle karma well.
The boy’s warning must have meant this.
I’ve been with a boy for a long time.
Aaron was able to understand the inner meaning of his teacher’s words.
Then what did he do to the boy?
there’s nothing.
I only received it.
couldn’t give
It was the same for others.
Nina taught us the purpose of life.
Brother and colleagues taught me how to survive.
Master suggested another way.
‘To be truly strong is…’
to share one’s strength.
Some might say no.
They might laugh at you, saying that such a thing is not power, but hypocrisy and lies.
Perhaps there is no right answer to this question.
Why did you want to become stronger?
What did Aaron want the power for?
Is it a longing for pure power, nothing else?
‘no.’
Now, Aaron wants to deny that answer again.
It is a direction that contradicts the power he realized, but he wants to present another answer even though he knows it.
‘Because I couldn’t help.’
Why did you hate yourself for being weak?
Because I couldn’t help Nina who was dying then.
Because I couldn’t fight until the end by my brother’s side and my comrade’s side.
And because I can’t cure Master’s illness right now.
So Aaron yearned.
Even while yearning for a purest dream.
I longed for the human heart to walk with fate.
Because I thought there was a way at the end of such a contradiction.