Chapter 77 - 76: For Myself
Su Mei hadn’t expected events to end like this. Not only did her wilful actions cause several (alleged) innocents to meet untimely deaths, but the Waterfall Savage God was killed. She thought, she thought, she thought, but no matter what she thought would happen, none of it mattered in the end.
Now, Ming Li was curled up beneath an oak tree. Her hands wrapped around her ankles and her face buried between her soft thighs. From time to time, sounds of muffled crying would resound.
Su Mei calmly sat next to her. Bai Lin had already taken off, returning to Wei Wuyin. As for the corpse of Cai Jin, it had been incinerated into nothing. A conclusion was reached, but it was not satisfying.
After several hours, Ming Li’s sounds abruptly ended. Her head lifted to reveal a originally pretty face marred by devastating emotions and tears. Her make-up had already been completely ruined, creating dry black marks on her face.
When her eyes found Su Mei, her words were choked for a moment. It was only after a few attempts and calm breaths did she say, "Thank you."
Su Mei turned to her. She didn’t respond.
"If...if you didn’t interfere when you did, I would’ve ended up like my sister. I thought she was forced to be a maid or maybe a little worse, but I didn’t think they-he wanted our unique constitution. I wouldn’t have been able to escape and my life would’ve come to an end...just like hers." Her words were sullen and depressed, but revealed the truth of the situation.
In Cai Jin’s memories, her identity was known. Her attempts to get captured in the same manner as her sister would’ve backfired due to her ignorance. There would be no opportunity to escape after being caught in his clutches. After having everything stripped from her, only that blazing furnace remained in her fate.
So, she was thankful.
"..." Su Mei quietly nodded, accepting her thanks.
"Why did you save me?" Ming Li abruptly asked. The cultivation world was cruel, and atrocities occurred every day, with innumerable deaths and crimes. Su Mei saving her felt unbelievable to the feeling she received from her. A cold, valiant and emotionless beauty that killed without a blink of an eye.
This was what her instincts told her. And she was right.
Su Mei was a trained soldier. She killed and pillaged, captured and sold. She had committed all sorts of atrocities in her lifetime, and if there was an afterlife and a hell, then she would definitely end up in the latter. However, she had no regrets nor intentions to change
Su Mei looked to the half-moon that shone in the night sky. "I had a family. We lived in a small village with the strongest being our village elder, only at the first stage of the Qi Condensation Realm. I wasn’t the prettiest girl nor was my family very affluent in the village, but we made an honest living and had each other.
"I had two older brothers, a mother, a father, and a grandmother. I couldn’t have said to have it all, but I had enough. Unfortunately," she paused. Her eyes flashed with all sorts of complex emotions and thoughts.
Ming Li was paying rapt attention to every word, not daring to interrupt. To think such a strong woman belonged to such humble beginnings.
Su Mei finally continued, "One day, a cultivator arrived on a mission. He was an Outer Sect Disciple of a Sect. His status, wealth, horizon, and breadth of knowledge was far beyond mines. When he saw me, his eyes were filled with endless want. I was ignorant at the time, but not so much that I would give up my freedom of choice.
"But it mattered not. The man wanted me, and when I fought back, my everything had shattered." In her memories, she recalled that day.
"I don’t want to go! Mommy! Daddy!! Please!!!"
"I want to stay, I want to stay here!"
"Let her go! You basta-argh!"
"You have to leave, Mei’er. It’s the best for the village and yourself if you do. Don’t worry, just be a proper woman and we’ll see you again!"
"Sob. Sob."
Besides her oldest brother who was crippled, every other member of her family only sent her off with smiles. Even the Elder who doted on her merely watched and accepted her being taken away. They all said it was best for her, but she was kidnapped and no one could do a damn thing.
Su Mei returned to herself, "I wasn’t much older than you when I was taken away. While I know now that they were too weak and fearful to take action, I was still abandoned. Then, I was forced to accept my situation. I was introduced into a harem and forced to live with a new family.
"At first, they cared for me. Then, when I was given more attention and focus, focus I did not want, they turned on me. They beat me. They spat on me. They made me feel small, weak, and irrelevant. I thought: why live another day?
"Then, a man arrived. He offered me a chance. A chance to take my own fate in my hands, to satiate my desire, my hunger. I found a reason to live: Myself. I swore that I’ll live for myself, to do what I want. He never treated me like I’m weak or abandoned me, never restricted MY choice." More memories flashed, of all the missions and times Wei Wuyin and her acted together.
While it was merely three years, it was enough to change her everything.
"I helped you because I saw myself. I saw the young girl that wasn’t given a choice to live for herself. I didn’t know if you’d die, but I acted because I was selfish. I wanted to save you, but also the past me." She explained truthfully, holding nothing back.
Ming Li felt the stirring emotions in her story, her own heart quivered. She was taken away from her family, forced into a harem, and treated like trash with no value except to please. No wonder...
No wonder she’s so strong.
"Thank you," Su Mei stood up. She didn’t expect all of this to happen, but a part of her had been relieved as she acted to help. She had done all sorts of things, even captured the Violet Moon Sect members to be sold into slavery, so she was by no means a warm-hearted person, and she didn’t want to become a hypocrite.
She merely acted because she saw herself in Ming Li. That was all. And she would not consciously act to save every girl she came across that was in peril. Perhaps she needed to save Ming Li to help remove some ephemeral wish by proxy. Regardless, her heart felt a little lighter.
Humans were complex emotional creatures. But that’s the key, they had ’emotions’ and as such their actions can be spontaneous and illogical. Why did she send Wei Wuyin a message for permission to save a girl? In truth, Wei Wuyin had never restricted her freedom of choice, and she followed him with the utmost loyalty because of it. Yet, she still asked.
Why did Wei Wuyin approve? He wasn’t a saint by any means, and like her, he could ruin lives and kill without a blink.
It was because he knew she needed this.
That was it.
"Ming Li, goodbye." Su Mei said, turning to walk off.
Ming Li bit her lower lip, tightening her hold on her knees. She had spent the last few years trying to save her sister, and now she found out she was dead. She didn’t know what to do now. By the time she gained some glimpse of her future, Su Mei had already left.
Her journey had not ended prematurely, and she still had a long road ahead of her.