[Lion Calendar Year 453 Month 10 Day 4]
It has been a long time since I last wrote a diary.
Strictly speaking, should I call this keeping a diary? I’m more like a black box in a car, recording everything around me while adding my thoughts along the way.
When was the last time I wrote one? Was it back in elementary school? I believe it was around that time. I seem to remember it being a vacation homework. Maybe.
We had to go up to the podium, one by one, and present how we spent our break.
My classmates proudly shared their dazzling memories—going on a trip somewhere with their parents, or buying new toys.
But my diary was filled with nothing but bleak and miserable entries. I couldn’t bring myself to read them aloud, so I simply lowered my head in silence.
After all, who would want to hear about the drunk man next door throwing up on the stair landing?
I think that’s when I started to dislike diaries.
fond memories to look back on, and even when I forced myself to recall and write something down, my diary only served as a reminder of my misery. So, I stopped. Even when it was assigned as homework, I refused to do it.But this time, I’ve picked up a pen again—because I think I need to. I once heard that writing a diary helps to organize your thoughts a lot.
And so, after decades—even after crossing dimensions—I’m writing a diary again.
That’s enough for today. I have to clean the hallway.
End of recording.
===============================================================
[Lion Calendar Year 453 Month 10 Day 5]
Maybe I should introduce myself first.
I am the Crazy Wizard’s module. And I am in the Grand Duke of the North’s mansion.
When the Goddess’s 『Forced Exile』 shattered me into countless fragments and flung them across the world, I was—either by fortune or coincidence—thrown in front of Daisy-kun’s mansion.
Of course, without a single coin to my name and with my mana and computational abilities as sluggish as a crawling snail, doing anything on my own was nearly impossible.
I thought I might freeze to death, swallowed by the endless northern frost.
“I have the authority to take in one maid. Wear this and start working from today.”
“⋯⋯I’ll work hard!”
And just like that, thanks to the kind-hearted Head Housemaid, I became a maid in the mansion.
The pay is low, but that doesn’t matter much.
My life isn’t in danger, I get three meals a day, and—most importantly—there’s a guaranteed way out of here. I just need to wait for Daisy-kun to return.
Once he’s back, I can ask him to contact the Purple Tower. Then, Yuna will come and take me away.
⋯⋯Still, it feels a little strange.
I—meaning this ‘I’—am not the main body. Because slightly different components make up the information.
The main body consists of two things: acting and living. But due to the 『Forced Exile』, I was separated from the main body and cast away—I am the ‘acting’ that was torn off.
Basically, the role that the actor played was detached and became its own entity.
The memories of the main body’s life feel distant and blurry to me. The slums under the moonlit sky, the fragments of modern life, Yuna’s smile and so on⋯⋯ I remember them all, but they seem like echoes from another existence.
On the other hand, the times when I was acting are vivid and sharp—the days when I called myself ‘Heart’ and spun stories, the times I spent talking and playing with Daisy-kun.
So, who am I?
Am I still the Crazy Wizard, merely acting as Heart?
Or am I Heart, playing the role of the Crazy Wizard?
⋯⋯⋯⋯.
I can still remember others’ names.
I feel that fact alone makes me separate from the main body.
End of recording.
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[Lion Calendar Year 453 Month 10 Day 7]
These motherfuckers really don’t take kindly to newcomers.
“There’s still dust on the window frame. Is this how you plan to work?”
Or—
“I can tell what kind of life you led outside. You must’ve gotten by slacking off and playing cute with that average face!”
These were the things they said.
They snap at me like a pack of rabid dogs, even though I’ve done nothing to provoke them.
I wouldn’t complain if I had actually been slacking off, but I’ve been putting my heart into cleaning—especially since this is the mansion where Daisy-kun lives.
And that one bitch—the one who said there was still dust on the window frame.
When she found no dust after running her finger across it, she took some from the broom she was holding and smeared it there just to prove a point. I had half a mind to rip her hair out on the spot.
At first, I let things slide. Whether they subtly shoved their work onto me or forced me to do laundry in the dead of winter, I endured it.
But when the insults became personal, it got harder to hold back.
The maids serving the first wife are particularly harsh on me.
You can judge a master’s character by the dignity of their servants, and judging by these maids, the first wife must be a real piece of work.
Still, I endured.
I’m new here. If I cause a scene and get kicked out of the mansion, I’ll have no way of meeting Daisy-kun naturally.
If I show up at the mansion’s gates and ask for him, the guards will likely turn me away. And if I’m reckless enough to jump in front of his carriage, there’s a good chance a soldier will draw his sword before Daisy-kun even realizes what’s happening.
That would leave me with one final option⋯⋯ crossing the North, all the way to the Purple Tower, with a nerfed body and completely penniless. I’d rather endure their insults than go through that kind of hardship.
“Look at the state of the garden’s flowerbed—it’s a complete mess. Is this how you plan to do your work? Slacking off while flaunting that vulgar body?”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
I thought this would’ve been tolera⋯⋯.
“You can’t even clean properly—it’s really hilarious. I don’t understand why the Head Housemaid allowed someone as incompetent as you inside. What, did you seduce him by shaking your ass?”
What the hell? Did she really just say that?
Even if my specs have been diminished, I still have my knowledge. I’m confident I could win in a fight against these maids. There’s even a picture frame right behind me.
If I grab it and swing, I could crack her skull in one hit. And while she’s dazed, a right hook to the chin would finish the job.
Then I could drag their unconscious bodies into an unused room and personally teach them why they should think twice before running their mouths──
“What do you all think you’re doing? Has the meal even been prepared yet.”
“S-Second Madam⋯⋯.”
That’s when she appeared—Nelliel Vergne, Daisy-kun’s second wife.
She was a beauty with nut-brown hair. The size of her breasts were above average and she had impeccable fashion sense. But above all, her eyes were clear.
With just a few words from her, the bullies scattered like dust in the wind. A wave of gratitude surged through me—I had been seconds away from committing an act of violence.
After some small talk, we exchanged names.
“I am Nelliel Vergne, the Grand Duke’s second wife. What is your name?”
“I’m Heart, Madam!”
From that brief introduction, I could tell—her first impression of me was positive. And I liked her too.
I was sure we could be friends.
And just like that, I made my first friend in the mansion.
End of recording.
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[Lion Calendar Year 453 Month 10 Day 12]
Nelliel was a diligent worker.
“Heart, what do you think about changing the mansion’s curtains? These are unnecessarily thick and dull. They’re an eyesore.”
“I agree, Nelliel. Wouldn’t a little neater design be better?”
“Then we’ll place an order with the merchant⋯⋯ is there anything else we need? Ah, have we run out of spices in the kitchen?”
“There’s half a container of sugar left and about a third of salt. It’s time to restock.”
With Daisy-kun away, it was Nelliel’s responsibility to manage the household’s daily affairs⋯⋯ overseeing necessities, restocking ingredients, handling finances. She spent her days running around tirelessly.
At times, she seemed even more diligent than the maids.
And she wasn’t doing it for personal gain. She genuinely believed it was her duty as a wife to contribute to the household after marrying into the Grand Duke’s family.
Yet, despite her efforts—
“Grand Duchess Nelliel Vergne, do not interfere with the Warriors of the North.”
“⋯⋯I merely asked if you had enough oil for maintaining your swords and armor. That’s not interference!”
“You have no authority to concern yourself with such matters, Grand Duchess.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
Nelliel held little power within the Grand Duke’s household. Even the warriors spoke to her with blatant disregard.
There were three reasons why the Grand Duke’s wife was treated with such contempt:
1. She came from a family that had once betrayed the Grand Duke’s lineage.
She lacked the influence and status as compared to the first wife. And most importantly—Daisy-kun himself treated her with indifference.
That third reason was the most devastating of all.
Nelliel vented her frustration by mercilessly pounding her pillow.
“⋯⋯Isn’t he being too much? He’s never replied to any of my letters. Not even once!”
“Really? That can’t be⋯⋯.”
“Not even an acknowledgment! It’s as if he never received them at all. The least he could do is say, ‘I got your letter.’ Is that so hard?!”
It didn’t make sense.
Daisy-kun was known for having a heart as cold as winter, but this level of neglect seemed excessive. Why?
From what I had gathered within the mansion, Nelliel had never caused trouble. If anything, it was the first wife who always stirred up issues.
So then—what the hell was going on?
I reassured Nelliel, telling her that things would work out. Daisy-kun wasn’t a cruel person at his core, and Nelliel wasn’t someone people naturally disliked.
I was convinced that if a clever cuckoo stepped in between them, things would dramatically improve. Right, I would be that cuckoo. I would set this couple back on track.
How sad would it be to get married without being lovey dovey at all? Even though there’s no love in the marriage of convenience, they could at least be friends.
That very day, I resolved to mend their relationship.
“Honey, you’re ba──”
“Heart⋯⋯ am I seeing this correctly? I can’t believe you’re here.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
The Grand Duke of the North, Daisy, walked right past Nelliel. He didn’t even spare her a glance.
Fuck.
I couldn’t bring myself to meet Nelliel’s gaze. The guilt was suffocating, clawing its way up to my skull before crashing back down.
Her icy husband—whose expression had never thawed for her—now softened for another woman.
This… this shouldn’t be happening. Something like this should never happen in this world.
“⋯⋯⋯heuk.”
Nelliel covered her mouth with a handkerchief and fled into the mansion while crying silently. The teardrops that fell to the ground formed a constellation of sorrow.
And as the initial shock of this unintentional NTR moment faded, a question took its place.
Daisy-kun wasn’t an idiot.
Anyone could tell at a glance that I was a maid from my uniform. He should have immediately realized that I had entered the mansion as a servant.
Which meant—
He knew exactly what he was doing when he acknowledged me first, out in the open. In other words⋯⋯
He did it on purpose.
Daisy-kun was deliberately crushing Nelliel’s dignity.
I needed to confront him.
⋯⋯Why, Daisy? Why would you do something like this?
End of recording.
=============================================================== The Grand Duke of the North, Elvillion Julius, was grateful for the unexpected stroke of luck that came to him. The person he had once thought he’d never see again—Heart—was now here, waiting inside his mansion.
What had happened? Elvillion was about to ask as Heart sat modestly at the table—
“Heart, if it’s alright, I’d like to hea⋯⋯.”
“No. There’s something we need to talk about first. Why did you do that, Daisy-kun?!”
—but, Heart was faster.
She was angry. It was a genuine and direct emotion. Why was Heart angry? The Grand Duke of the North thought for a moment before finding the answer.
Heart had likely grown close to Nelliel, thanks to her natural sociability. She was the type to stand up for her friends, to get angry on their behalf. It made sense that she’d be furious over the way Nelliel had been treated.
Yet, as Elvillion observed her, he couldn’t help but notice something different about Heart. The aura she exuded now felt slightly unfamiliar, almost making him wonder if she was an imposter in disguise.
But no. This was unmistakably Heart. Only she would react like this.
So, he answered honestly.
“I’m about to go to war. I will raise an army to unify the North. And in war, you either win—or you lose. Heart, do you know what happens to the wife of a defeated ruler?”
“⋯⋯nothing good.”
“Exactly. If I fail, she’ll either be executed alongside me or locked away in some dark, miserable prison. But⋯⋯ If it’s widely known throughout the North that she and I have always had a strained relationship, then her fate may be different.”
“Are you saying that⋯⋯ you’ve been deliberately distancing yourself from Nelliel to protect her from collective punishment, just in case Daisy failed?”
Elvillion nodded and added,
“That, and to prevent any power struggles. Because I die, the authority of the Grand Duke must go to my son without any dispersion.”
Heart nodded as if she understood, but soon after pressed him with her eyes wide open.
“I get your reasoning. But still⋯⋯ you could have faked a bad relationship without hurting each other.”
“That wouldn’t have been convincing enough. And besides, Nelliel Vergne doesn’t like me either. It wouldn’t have hurt her that much.”
“What are you even saying?! If she didn’t care about you, she wouldn’t have poured her heart into writing you a letter every week!”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
The Grand Duke of the North Elvillion’s eyes were full of questions.
“I’ve never received a single letter from Nelliel Vergne. Not once.”
“⋯⋯what?”
===============================================================
Crackle. Crackle.
Inside the fireplace, glowing embers spat tiny sparks into the air.
And within the flames—
An undelivered letter curled and blackened, reduced to ash.
***
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