I desperately needed relationship advice from a veteran dating expert.
I had to figure out how to console Yuna, who was sulking somewhere out of sight. At the same time, I also needed to get closer to Yuri and finalize the details of our dating itinerary in advance so we could have a doki-doki picnic in the Holy City.
To be honest, my understanding of dating was starting to unravel into a Gestaltzerfall. The entire concept felt vague and elusive. All I really knew was that, during a date, boyfriends were supposed to act as their girlfriend’s personal porter⋯⋯.
But Bennett would know better than that, wouldn’t he?
I had written my letter in a slightly cryptic manner to avoid any chance of interception, but I didn’t think Bennett would miss the underlying meaning. After all, he had the razor-sharp insight of Niolle by his side.
The clues went beyond the letter’s contents. From the design of the wax seal to the style of my handwriting⋯⋯ I knew Noelle’s eyes wouldn’t miss the signals. I trusted my intentions would reach him. I believed in that.
Just then, Tara and Niolle walked into the room.
“We came as soon as we got your message, Bennett. The professor⋯⋯ is here too. By the way, it’s kind of noisy outside for some reason. It’s because of him, isn’t it?”
[He was talking about something called the Ship of Theseus. It sounded like a philosophical concept aimed at curbing the Cardinal Faction’s growing influence. Maybe Priest Takiten was fanning the flames to create an even bigger uproar?]
“Both assumptions are correct. The Ship of Theseus was originally proposed by Wizard, and Priest Takiten has been using it as a spark to amplify the concept.”Pink-Haired Lesbian, who had gone out to fetch milk, returned.
“Where did you disappear to, leaving the kid behind?”
“I had an urgent matter to attend to. Apparently, the Second Prince⋯⋯ is visiting this city. I’ll explain more later. But first, shouldn’t we be blaming the one who failed to stay quietly in the corner as instructed?”
“Fair enough.”
I could already imagine Evil God-chan wandering off somewhere, thinking, What are the odds I’ll bump into Bennett in a city this huge? Lately, she had been letting her immature side show more and more.
Even as more people gathered and the atmosphere grew increasingly serious, I wasn’t particularly concerned.
I had no intention of letting this escalate into Hostage Situation Season 2 in front of Tara and Niolle, so I had already taken preventive measures. Specifically, I applied a chat ban and enabled manual avatar hiding.
“⋯⋯What’s that on the professor’s lap? The thing covered in cloth? Is it supposed to be a cloth ghost?”
“Tara, it will only complicate things right now, so just leave it. Niolle, you too. We’ll discuss it later.”
In my letter, I had proposed a deal to Bennett.
I’ll solve your problem; in return, help me with mine. Even if Bennett didn’t understand anything else, I had made sure that part of the message was impossible to miss.
So once things were settled, I trusted that he would hear me out and offer me some solid advice.
And if, by some chance, the letter’s true intent didn’t get through, it wouldn’t matter. I could always bring it up subtly when Bennett and I were alone.
So I relaxed. Leaning back in my chair, I switched to spectator mode.
But soon, things started to go a little differently than the way I had expected.
===============================================================
We were at the secret hideout of the 『Reformist Faction』. From the outside, it looked like a run-down inn, but inside, it gave off some kind of a gritty atmosphere of a resistance movement.
The interior radiated the spirit of the underdog. All it needed was the sound of clinking beer mugs to complete the picture.
The attendees included:
Three members from the 『Reformist Faction』affiliated with Bennett’s party and a War Priest.
Three from the Crazy Wizard Party (minus Yuna) and the Young Lady from the North.
“Now that everyone’s here, let’s officially begin the meeting. First, we’ll go over the challenges the 『Reformist Faction』 is currently facing. You might already know, but⋯⋯.”
“You’re explaining this for Mr. Wizard’s sake, aren’t you? From what I observed earlier, his peculiar insights and ideas⋯⋯ is he going to join the Reformists as their strategist?”
Bennett was trying to steer the meeting, but the War Priest seemed more interested—or suspicious—of me. He then asked Bennett.
While Bennett’s party and I already shared a certain degree of trust and understanding, the War Priest didn’t. He was probably curious.
Bennett drew a clear line between me and the 『Reformist Faction』.
“No. He likely has plans of his own. He’s not someone who works under others. Think of him as someone whose goals align with ours⋯⋯ or better yet, the wind that propels the sails.”
“What a strange metaphor. Are you saying this is a loose alliance? Or are you saying that he is some kind of assistant from the shadows?”
“It’s better not to overthink when it comes to him. Whatever he’s planning will likely play out exactly as he wants it to. Treat him as a force of nature.”
“Heueum⋯⋯.”
The War Priest looked at me with curiosity, masking his suspicion. Bennet was the same as him⋯⋯ so, he was probably thinking my main role was to plan schemes and engage in political maneuvering.
I considered clarifying Bennett’s overly flattering depiction of me but decided against it. Instead, I just smiled and let it slide. From his perspective, it made sense to think that way.
Besides, outright saying, “ I didn’t really have any thoughts,” would be kind of lame.
I was a professor, wasn’t I? Professors had to look cool to students as much as possible. So, I always put thought into how I presented myself during lectures.
So if Bennett wanted to present me as a cool badass tactician, who was I to object?
“Based on the announcement from the Cardinal Faction, the Hero Selection Tournament will consist of two phases: the selection of Hero candidates and the drawing of the Holy Sword.”
“The Hero candidates will be determined through a series of matches. Those who succeed in the preliminary rounds will continue competing until a set number of candidates is chosen. These individuals will then be given the chance to attempt to draw the Holy Sword.”
“And among them, the one chosen by the Holy Sword will be declared the Hero of this era. Any questions?”
How many candidates would they select during the “Hero candidate” phase of the tournament? And if they were aiming for a specific number, would matches continue until that quota was met?
“They said it would be divided into four brackets, with two candidates selected from each.”
“Each bracket is based on one of the core values of the Goddess Church── 『Courage』, 『Faithfulness』, 『Immutability』, and 『Submissiveness』
Now I understood.
They would select a total of eight candidates, who would then attempt to draw the Holy Sword⋯⋯ it was clear that not just anyone could pull out the sword.
“Ever since the last Hero passed away a century ago, the Holy Sword hasn’t chosen anyone. It remains embedded in the stone beneath the Goddess’s statue, as though in a deep sleep. No one has been able to remove it since then.”
“I had the chance to touch it once after becoming a Saintess. I swear, it felt like it had merged with the rock itself. It didn’t budge, not even an inch.”
An Excalibur of sorts.
[So, could this entire Hero Selection Tournament be about finding someone⋯⋯ worthy of being chosen by the Holy Sword?]
“No way. It couldn’t be that straightforward. There must be some kind of ulterior motive behind it, there has to be.”
Tara clenched her teeth. She was certain the Cardinal Faction—the upper echelon of the Church of the Goddess—had a calculated agenda behind organizing such an event.
And naturally, any ‘Hero’ chosen by the Holy Sword would gain authority over Saintess Tara. That was the reality.
But there was something peculiar about the situation.
The Cardinal Faction had all the hallmarks of a classic corrupt religious group. For them to host a tournament and offer an opportunity to draw the Holy Sword freely, it didn’t make sense.
Because if Bennett won the tournament and became the Hero, his newfound authority could dismantle the Cardinal Faction entirely.
It would also be problematic if someone other than Bennett won—especially if it was a knight loyal to the Imperial Family. That would threaten the Church’s stranglehold on religious power.
So, logically, this meant the Cardinal Faction had to be absolutely certain their chosen candidate would secure the title of Hero.
“There have to be traps in the tournament. Maybe they’ve bribed the participants!”
[That’s not a practical method. It would cost an astronomical amount of money, and there would be a lot of people who can’t be bribed as well. After all, this is a competition for the title of Hero we’re talking about.]
“If their candidate, Benjamin, has reached the Sublimation level, then it would all make sense. But it’s hard to imagine that he has reached that kind of power.”
They believed that the real manipulation would take place during the Hero candidate selection phase.
It was a reasonable assumption. The one choosing the Hero via the Holy Sword was said to be the great Goddess herself. Who would dare believe humans could interfere with divine judgment?
However, I already knew the truth. The Goddess was closer to being a vast machine, one whose systems were steadily deteriorating—and there was a very real chance of her being exploited by a faction.
If the Cardinal Faction was tampering with the Goddess, then everything fell into place.
They could maintain the illusion of a fair competition, selecting eight candidates as they pleased. If they had the ability to ensure their chosen champion would win, then a bigger stage only amplified the effectiveness of their plan.
In fact, they needed to make the stage bigger. A Hero crowned before the eyes of the entire world, in a ceremony blessed by countless people, would wield unquestionable authority—even if the Hero did not have a single notable achievement.
I opened my mouth.
“Just one question, Mr. Priest.”
“⋯⋯Yes. If it’s within my knowledge, I will answer to the best of my ability. What would you like to know?”
“You said you were once a Cardinal, right? Within the ruling class of the Church of the Goddess, is there by any chance some sort of valuable sacred relic that has been passed down? Perhaps with an inscription along the lines of『This allows one to communicate with the Goddess』?”
“⋯⋯How do you know about that?”
The War Priest’s eyes flared with a mix of shock and suspicion. Knowing about such an artifact meant knowing far too much, and his instinctive reaction was to assume I might be a spy from the Cardinal Faction.
Bennett placed a reassuring hand on the Priest’s shoulder, as if saying that he could understand him.
“I told you, Priest Dakiten. Just think of him as a force of nature.”
“But this knowledge is something no outsider should poss──.”
“Wizard, may I?”
“Didn’t I already say, Father Dakiten? Just think of him as a natural phenomenon.”
“But this is a truth that absolutely cannot be allowed to spread—“
“Dimensional magic and a Hero from⋯⋯ another dimension?”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
Pink-Haired Lesbian, who knew the entire truth, subtly twitched her facial muscles. To most, her expression might appear neutral, but I could tell. She was holding back her laughter.
Meanwhile, Evil God-chan, perched on my lap and covered by a cloth, suddenly entered a peculiar “mannered mode.” I could feel her vibrating faintly.
Slipping my hand beneath the cover, I poked her here and there. While I couldn’t say much for Pink-Haired Lesbian, it wasn’t the same with Evil God-chan. Her ‘manner’ mode promptly deactivated after my prodding.
“I see. In that case, Bennett, your unusual trust in this wizard⋯⋯ even your seemingly blind optimism toward him makes more sense now. Since you already seem to know, I’ll share this with you.”
“Mmm.”
“In the Church of Goddess, there exists a sacred artifact called the 『Glass Obelisk』. It’s said to have been carved by the Goddess herself and allows direct communication with the heavens. It has been said that only the Pope, the Saintess, or the Hero can wield its power.”
“⋯⋯Wait, it had that kind of function?! Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?”
The cheeky Saintess widened her eyes in genuine surprise in the middle of the conversation.
So, it was that.
It sounded like some kind of control panel that allowed one to control the Goddess.
The access privileges were restricted to the Pope, the Saintess, and the Hero. In other words they were⋯⋯ administrators. Tara was already here, and the Hero had yet to be chosen. That left only the Pope.
If that were true, then the individual behind the Goddess’s 24% corruption rate was the Pope. We had found our culprit.
As the puzzle pieces fell into place in my mind, I smiled in satisfaction. The others in Bennett’s party began murmuring.
“As expected, he came in knowing everything from the start.”
“See, Niolle? He arrived fully prepared. How could it have possibly been a love letter? Bennett, I told you. This so-called classified knowledge that required central access to the Church of the Goddess—he already knew about it.”
[Eueum, did I misinterpret it⋯⋯? I really thought it was that kind of letter.]
Uh.
“So, what’s your next move? What’s the grand scheme this time, Wizard?”
“Stop beating around the bush, Professor. What exactly did the Goddess-related stuff in the letter mean?!”
Uh uh⋯⋯
“The Hero’s schemes⋯⋯ I’m quite curious. The 『Reformist Faction』 might seem to oppose the Cardinals, but in reality, they’re on the defensive, barely holding on. Could they have some⋯⋯ game-changing move to turn the tide?”
“Does that mean the reason you saved me on that remote forest path and dealt with that strange Paladin was⋯⋯.”
Uh⋯⋯?
It felt like the expectations surrounding me were spiraling out of control.
Sure, I wasn’t short on abilities or information, but this was starting to feel overwhelming. My initial plan had been simple—help Bennett out a bit, then spend most of my time fooling around with Yuna and Yuri.
Now, while this situation could easily be misunderstood, I was more afraid that I might end up buried under a mountain of work, leaving no time for dating. Besides, things had gotten too awkward to ask Bennett for love advice at this point, so⋯⋯?
I had been planning to take a more laid-back role—watching the tournament from the sidelines and chiming in with a comment here and there.
Maybe it was time to clarify my intentions. Something like*, I’m here on vacation. Please don’t send me work-related tasks while I’m on break*.
I glanced at Pink-Haired Lesbian, silently begging for her help in defusing the situation and tempering their overblown expectations.
She leaned in close and whispered in my ear.
“⋯⋯Mr. Wizard, I’m a little disappointed. I thought we were here for a vacation—I was really looking forward to it. But now I see you came fully intending to work. Losing your arm, sending that letter… you planned this from the start, didn’t you?”
“⋯⋯Huh? N-no. Uh, that’s.”
“But it’s fine. Seeing you work this hard is⋯⋯ really attractive. Just promise me some time for myself later. And for the Tower Master too.”
No, no. Absolutely no!
We came here to have fun⋯⋯!
As for losing my arm—well, you know. I thought it was a unique opportunity.
And the letter I sent to Bennett⋯⋯ it really was to ask for love advice⋯⋯!
BANG──!!
The sound of Pink-Haired Lesbian slamming her hand on the table silenced the room instantly, drawing everyone’s attention.
Yuri Lanster, channeling the charisma from her Extermination Squad days, spoke sharply and clearly.
“Silence.”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
“Mr. Mima, go ahead. Share the plan you’ve been working on.”
My head practically exploded after Pinkvalez dropped that Hey, Mima has something important to say! bomb
What should I do? In this situation, I couldn’t⋯⋯ just admit, Actually, I don’t have a plan. I was just saying random stuff ⋯⋯ .That would be so uncool, right⋯⋯?
There was no turning back now. I forced myself to think fast. I needed to come up with something plausible⋯⋯ a reasonable plan that could fit all the information I had gathered so far.
“So, we…”
“⋯⋯⋯⋯.”
The coveted position of Hero was what everyone was vying for. The Holy City was overflowing with people, including the Grand Duke of the North, Irid, and even the Red Flavor Duke was coming.
The tournament was a bracket-style competition. Eight selected candidates would get the chance to attempt drawing the Holy Sword. The Cardinals had their own candidate to back as well as the Goddess controller.
In the end── while the Cardinal Faction had the authority to decide who could even attempt to draw the Holy Sword, they wouldn’t be able to interfere if their candidate failed to pass the tournament.
That meant…
“We’ll unite all factions except the Cardinal Faction, work together, and eliminate every Hero candidate they’re supporting.”
“⋯⋯Do you really think such an idealistic plan would work? The factions’ interests are deeply entangled, and the allure of the Hero title is irresistible. Cooperation is highly improbable⋯⋯?”
But it would work. Surprisingly, it would. Why? Because every major faction gathered here⋯⋯ had some form of direct or indirect connection to me.
⋯⋯Screw it, I’ll bring out Heart right in front of the Grand Duke of the North again if I have to!
***
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