Chapter 172: Episode 33 – Reading Again (3)
Translator: Rainbow Turtle
My mother was silent for a moment. The silence cheered me up a bit. The fact that my mother expected me to love her and the idea that I could hurt her feelings excited me.
However, my mother spoke in a tone that sounded like she had expected it. “Hrmm, I see.”
“...”
“I still wanted to try it. It could’ve ended your fate. In any case, you still have a lot of lives left.”
“Don’t speak like you are doing this for me.”
“I love you.”
I got goosebumps. Why was she suddenly saying this? “What does this mean?”
“I am your mother.”
I looked at my smiling mother and one corner of my heart ached. Did she really believe that such words were acceptable? A decade’s worth of suffering alone couldn’t be denied because of these words.
I glared at my mother.
Mother, love...
I didn’t use Lie Detection on her. Sometimes there were such words in the world. Even if it was true, it was painful enough to be called false.
I sighed and said, “It’s too late.”
“I know.”
“Then why...”
“I just wanted to say it once. I don’t think I’ve ever told you before.”
We fell silent and didn’t say anything for a while. Only the second hand of the wall clock told me that time was passing by. It was like a page with nothing on it. Like a writer squeezing out my first sentence, I barely managed to open my mouth. “...How was your life in prison?”
“You often came to see me. Is there a need...”
“You didn’t tell me anything.”
“...”
“Why didn’t you say anything? I went to see you so many times...”
I didn’t hate my mother from the beginning.
Even when my mother killed my father.
Even when she went to jail.
Even when my relatives rushed to take our assets and I was treated like a leftover product.
I didn’t hate or blame my mother.
“How can a person be so shameless?” The reason why I hated my mother was simple. “Why did you remain silent? And why... did you write such a story?”
Someone might say this: You became rich. Isn’t it good that she sold the book? I didn’t know if the royalties from my mother helped my life. My relatives always treated me like I wasn’t a person.
“I had a really hard time. Whenever I went to school, walked on the streets or met someone, it seemed like everyone was talking about me. It was the same when I moved schools. Every time, I was the son of a murderer.”
Those who had never experienced it would never know. The world was tenacious. The reporters stood in front of my house and it felt like all eyes in the world were chasing me.
“Maybe, just maybe, I could’ve endured it.”
It might’ve been okay if my mother had said something to me. If she told me to endure it, I could’ve. If only my mother had told me she was on my side, even if she sold our story for money.
[The ‘Fourth Wall’ is shaking violently.]
[The stigma ‘Self-rationalization Lv. 2’ has been activated!]
I looked at my mother. I hadn’t misunderstood. My mother sold our lives to earn money.
Then my mother opened her mouth. “I wanted to know.”
“Know what?”
“The truth.”
“...What is the truth? Mother, didn’t you kill Father?”
“You don’t know the story.”
“I know it very well. Since separating from you, I looked over my memories again and again.”
In other words, I read it again. I became absorbed in the characters of the novel because of my mother.
-Dokja. -From now on, I will read all of this again.
-Your father, he did something wrong and died.
-This was self-defense. Understood?
I read it again hundreds, thousands and even tens of thousands of times. No, I replayed it so many times that I couldn’t even tell it was true anymore.
“It was enough for my father to die. He was a gambling addict and violent towards his family. Our family would’ve been in danger if he remained.”
The mother watched me and nodded. “Yes, I remember it well. So why are you angry?”
I tried to ask my mother several times.
Why didn’t you run away with me? Why did you leave the child alone? Why didn’t you come see me after you were released?
The questions piled up inside me and I got the answer on my own.
[The Fourth Wall’s shaking has subsided.]
This was a fear created by the answer. It was an answer that I tried to erase. I was afraid that once the answer was given, I wouldn’t be able to accept it.
In the meantime, my mother had been repeatedly opening and closing her mouth before finally being able to speak. “...It is too late to say anything.”
Yes, I knew.
[Many constellations have sponsored you 5,000 coins for your family history.]
This was sufficient for the damn drama.
[The constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is thirsty from your sweet potato.]
[The constellation ‘Demon-like Judge of Fire’ suggests that you think again.]
[The constellation ‘Poked Out His Eyes’ is smiling in an insidious manner.]
This role didn’t suit me in the first place.
“Why do you keep changing the original novel?” My mother changed the topic. “If you let it flow like the original and let people die, the scenarios wouldn’t have been so difficult.”
“I have to change it. Mother, you know that Yoo Jonghyuk can’t reach the ending in the third regression.”
[Many constellations are frustrated by the filtering.]
The story about the original novel was filtered by the constellations.
“The ending?”
“Yes. The ending.”
“...You are struggling just for that? You’re not crazy.”
“The ending of this story is important to me. It was this world that kept me alive while you were gone.” It was thanks to the novel that I could survive the last few years without my mother and father. “You can never understand.”
『 Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World. 』
I didn’t know what the author intended with this title. However, this title was reality to me, not a metaphor. It was because for me, this had become a ‘ruined world’ a long time ago.
I read this novel on a daily basis and survived. Thus, I couldn’t give up on this story.
My mother refuted, “This isn’t a novel. There is no ending like ‘Everyone lived happily ever after’ in reality.”
“I will see it through to the end. In addition, when did I say I wanted that ending?”
“Stop. This world is crazy. It isn’t something you can achieve because you know the future. Don’t you already know this? The next scenarios―”
“Stop.” It was pointless to keep arguing with my mother. “Just tell me what you want. Why did you call me here?”
“Stay here.”
Yes, I thought she would say this. It was just like my mother.
“Why would I do such a thing?”
“I can’t lose my son again. I will somehow do the following scenarios.”
“Save it.”
I raised my energy.
“Be honest. You think I will be a hindrance. I don’t know what your purpose is but I won’t ask you anything.”
For the first time, an unfamiliar emotion crossed my mother’s face. She looked sad. Sad? What qualifications did she have to feel like this?
“...Who do you really resemble?” A wave of magic power rose in my mother’s body as she spoke. “I dislike this method but it can’t be helped.
[Some constellations like this fighting in a family.]
[Some constellation’s who value filial piety dislike this situation.]
The furniture of the house was swept away by the magical storm, causing Han Sooyoung to notice and run inside.
“Kim Dokja!”
The incarnation of Jeon Woochi, Cho Youngran was also behind Han Sooyoung. The living room quickly changed into a confrontational situation. Cho Youngran was preparing a trick while my mother gazed at me with serene eyes. Jeon Woochi’s techniques were tricky but I could somehow defend against them.
The problem was my mother’s side. I didn’t yet know who my mother’s sponsor was. This was just before my mother’s ability was revealed.
[The exclusive skill ‘Bookmark’ is activated!]
“Selecting the fourth bookmark, ‘Lycaon Isparang.’”
[The exclusive skill ‘Way of the Wind Lv. 10 (+1) is activated!]
Way of the Wind reached its limit and the whole room was caught in a magical storm. I condensed the winds and destroyed the entire living room.
Then I escaped from the house with Han Sooyoung. As dark smoke covered my field of view, I told Han Sooyoung. “I will finish this right away so get ready.”
“Understood.” Han Sooyoung started to generate a powerful ‘black fire’ in her hand.
I immediately changed the bookmark. “I will choose the fifth bookmark, Kyrgios Rodgraim.”
The combo of Miniaturization and Electrification followed after Way of the Wind. The fastest and most efficient way to overpower my mother was to use the greatest skill I had.
However, the moment I was about to use the skill, dozens of people appeared through the smoke. They surrounded me and spoke in fervent voices. “You’ve misunderstood everything. Please. You have to stay here.”
They were my mother’s subordinates. Dozens of women wearing prison uniforms looked at me with sympathetic expressions. Han Sooyoung shouted, “What is this?”
The surprised Han Sooyoung poured the black flames towards them but they were scattered in all directions by Jeon Woochi’s defense. Cho Youngran shouted, “Kim Dokja! Stop! Sookyung is doing this for you!”
It was my mother who blocked their mouths. She raised a finger to her mouth, telling them not to say anything. Then a grand aura started to emerge from my mother’s body.
Sparks formed due to the excessive use of probability. It was a more intense synchronization than anything I had seen before. My mother was obviously overdoing it.
[The sponsor of incarnation ‘Lee Sookyung’ has revealed her modifier.]
[The constellation ‘Founder’s Mother’ feels deep sadness towards you.]
The Founder’s Mother? Oh my god. Don’t tell me?
[The constellation ‘Founder’s Mother’ says that your strength is a threat to the Korean Peninsula scenario.]
[The constellation ‘Founder’s Mother’ says that she won’t take your life if you don’t rebel.]
I hastily used Miniaturization and Electrification at the same time.
[The energy of the old land has sealed your skills.]
My vision became dim, as if I had entered a dark cave. Power was extinguished from my body and I became an ordinary human. The helplessness of a small animal captivated me.
[The energy of the old land seals your ‘value.’]
I knew this stigma. There was only one ‘story’ regarding sealing on the Korean Peninsula.
“...I never thought you could use this.”
Yes... it was strange I hadn’t thought about it This was the Korean Peninsula. Yet there was one nebula that hadn’t contacted me yet. I should’ve made contact with them first but I hadn’t got close to them at this point.
“I told you, I love you.” My mother smiled while waving a bronze bell in my hand.
The Founder’s Mother. One of the highest ranking constellations of Hongik and one of the most well-known stories on this land.
My mother’s sponsor was Ungnyeo, mother of Dangun Wangeom.
(TL: Legendary founder and god-king of Gojoseon, first kingdom of Korea. He was said to be the ‘grandson of heaven’ and ‘son of a bear.’
See the end of the chapter for more information on the bear woman).
I sighed and said. “...Okay. I surrender.”
“What? Hey! Kim Dokja!”
“Just wait here. You can’t win anyway.”
A sense of exhaustion filled my body. Now I was no different from an ordinary person.
“...Putting aside your sponsor, how did you get the Eight Beaded Bell?” (See link for an image:
https://namu.wiki/w/%ED%8C%94%EC%A3%BC%EB%A0%B9)
I stared at the bronze bell in my mother’s hand. The Eight Beaded Bell was one of the three ‘heavenly seals’ of Dangun’s myth. It was one of the greatest relics of the Korean Peninsula and had the ability to seal the ‘story’ of another person.
No matter how I thought about it, there was no way to get this star relic through normal methods at this point. My mother must’ve paid a price to get it.
“I will let you go once it is time. Just stay here for now.” Finally, my mother and the wanderers disappeared.
Han Sooyoung and I were trapped in the Mechanical Gateway Array Method. I was able to guess where my mother had gone.
Maybe she went to see Yoo Jonghyuk. I didn’t want to imagine the catastrophe that would happen if they met.
“Shit, what now? How are we going to get out of here?”
Han Sooyoung asked as she tried to break the Mechanical Gateway Array Method. My skills as a constellation were sealed so it was impossible to destroy straight away.
Well, this was with my own power. I thought it over. “There is one way.”
“What is it?”
“There is a presence that can break the Mechanical Gateway Array Method.”
“What? Who?”
If I called him, the seal would somehow be broken. Originally, it was a constellation I didn’t dare call but now it was unknown.
I pulled out Ganpyeongui. I saved it for an important time and now it was the only thing I could believe in.
[The special option of the ‘Ganpyeongui’, Echo of the Stars has been activated.]
[Echo of the Stars allows you to ask for help from an upper-grade constellation.]
“I will call the constellations.”
[In the flow of the stars, the upper-grade constellations hear your voice.]
I called out the modifier of the constellation.
[The status of this constellation is too high.]
[Five points on the Sky Disc are required for this constellation. Will you accept this?]
There were only five points left because I had used the rest on calling the Big Dipper and the Nation’s Independence Activist.
Now this constellation required all the remaining star points on the Ganpyeongui.
It was necessary because this being’s strength already surpassed the upper-grade rank.
[The operation of the stars has begun.]
In the darkness of the deep night sky, a solitary star was shining. I declared towards him. “Goryeo’s First Sword, I need your strength.”
[1] Ungnyeo: Korean for bear woman and was a bear who became a woman. In the myths, a tiger and a bear lived together and prayed in a cave to the divine king Hwanung to become a human. Hwanung gave them 20 cloves of garlic and a bundle of mugwort, ordering them to eat only this sacred food and remain out of the sunlight for 100 days. The tiger left out of hunger but the bear remained and became a woman after 21 days. Ungnyeo kept making offering to Hwanung but her lack of a husband made her depressed. She prayed to be blessed with a child. Hwanung heard her prayers and took her as a wife.
Wiki links: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangun
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ungnyeo)