My consciousness stirred back to life. I opened my eyes, but all I saw was darkness. It stretched endlessly in every direction, thick and absolute. I felt weightless, as if my body were floating in a void.
"Where is this?"
I blinked several times, rubbed my eyes, but nothing changed. The darkness remained.
"Am I dreaming?"
I let out a slow breath and shrugged, assuming I was.
My thoughts drifted back to the fight with Guro.
No, calling it a fight was too generous, it was a brutal melee, raw and unforgiving. I never imagined my first kill would be a demon woman.
I stared at my hands, whole, uninjured but my mind refused to accept what I saw. The memory of pain still clung to me. The unbearable, flesh-melting agony of my own fire reducing my hand to bone. I had done that to myself. And for what?
To kill her.
A heavy breath left my lips, the weight of that truth pressing down on me.
I had killed someone.
Not just in battle. Not just for survival. I made the choice to end her life. And I did it with my own hands.
At first, I thought she was toying with me, testing me, playing with her prey. Then she spoke. Told me she was "training" me.
And I believed her. Or rather, I believed Arkas.
I convinced myself it was all part of my growth, that this was just another lesson. Her reason made sense, she wanted her prison sentence reduced, and I wanted to get stronger. A fair exchange.
But in the end, it wasn't training. It wasn't a test.
She was just insane.
She wanted me dead. Not for any grand purpose, not for survival, but because she enjoyed it. Hunting, torturing—she thrived on it.
And I was mentally weak.
Even when I had the chance to finish her, I held back. Because some part of me still felt innocent. Because I had never killed before. Because it felt wrong.
But she got up.
Even with her spine shattered, even when her body had no strength left, she still crawled toward me with that grin. She wasn't done. She was going to kill me.
So I made my choice.
I burned her alive.
The memory of her screams clawed at my mind. The way she thrashed, how she still tried to tear into my heart even as her flesh melted. I felt her blood spray onto my face, boiling from the heat. But she kept fighting. Even when her body failed, her will didn't.
I wasn't sure if she ever felt fear.
I clenched my fists, my breathing unsteady.
Was it supposed to feel like this?
It's easy to believe you can stand firm in your principles. But facing the reality of it is different.
I saw that determination in Guro. She wasn't fighting for anything noble. She fought because she wanted to. Until the very end, she never wavered.
I thought killing my first enemy would bring relief. Maybe even pride. But I felt none of that.
All I felt was doubt.
Was it right to crush someone's dream, even if that dream was burning me alive?
A dry chuckle escaped me.
Did I do the right thing?
Would I have survived if I hadn't gone that far?
Was there another way?
No. There wasn't.
She forced my hand. Pushed me into a corner. And I did what I had to do.
But still…
I killed her.
I wiped a hand down my face, only to remember this was all in my head. No blood. No sweat. No burn scars.
Just me. Alone in the dark. With my thoughts.
I had trusted her once. Believed, even if only for a moment, that this was just another test. And maybe, in some twisted way, it was. But not in the way I had imagined.
Guro fought with everything she had. Not out of desperation. Not out of necessity. But because she wanted to. That was the kind of person she was relentless and merciless. She would have come after me no matter what. Not because she had to. But because it was in her nature.
And I?
I hesitated.
Not because I lacked strength. Not because I was weak. But because some part of me still wanted to believe that it was just training.
But it wasn't.
She forced my hand. And when the moment came, I chose to survive.
That was the lesson.
It wasn't about right or wrong. It wasn't about feeling good or bad.
It was simple.
When the choice came down to me or her…..
I chose me.
Her dream might have been crazy but mine was not.
I exhaled. My thoughts settled and the burden of the situation reduced a lot.
I knew this won't be my last kill. This was just the beginning.
And I was ready.
"Now, how the fuck do I wake up from this dream?"
I willed my floating body or consciousness, or whatever it was to move forward. I kept going, waiting for myself to wake up.
I had no idea how much time passed as I floated aimlessly.
Then from nowhere a green gas flooded the darkness surrounding me.
"What is this?" I asked myself surprised.
The gas kept filling the space and eventually, a deep lethargy settled over me, dragging me into exhaustion. My eyes grew heavy, and before I knew it, the darkness swallowed me completely.
****
A sharp pain stabbed at me. I tried shifting, but the pain remained, relentless and piercing. Finally, I'd had enough. My eyes fluttered open.
Everything was blurry. My vision swam, and then the memories rushed back. My lips trembled as I tried to part them, but they refused to obey.
A voice reached me.
"Billion, can you hear me?"
I couldn't tilt my head, so I shifted my eyes toward the blurry figure hovering over me. Slowly, the image sharpened.
Vice Commander June.
"Ye… yeah," I whispered, my throat dry and scratchy.
She exhaled, tension visibly leaving her shoulders.
"Thank god you're okay. For a moment, I thought I lost you. Your heart even stopped beating. But then, suddenly, it started again."
I blinked.
'My heart stopped? Damn… how close was I to dying?'
My face refused to move, my body sluggish and unresponsive. I couldn't even show a reaction.
"Billion?"
I forced my eyes to blink a few times before managing another whisper.
"Okay."
She nodded.
"Alright, let me help with your injuries."
Reaching into her uniform, she pulled out a small green vial.
"This is concentrated vitality. Drink it, and your recovery will speed up."
She brought the vial to my lips and carefully poured its contents into my mouth. The thick, liquid slid down my throat, leaving behind a cooling sensation.
I waited.
A few seconds passed, and then warmth spread through me. A faint green glow pulsed around my body. The pain dulled, the aches started fading, and slowly, I felt control returning to my limbs.
June remained seated beside me, watching my face silently.
I turned my head slightly and smiled.
"Am I looking handsome, Vice Commander?"
Her eyes widened slightly, then she let out a soft chuckle.
"You're in no condition to joke around, soldier."
I grinned.
"What better time to joke than when you just escaped death? Wouldn't you agree?"
Her brows furrowed, and she shook her head.
"I apologize, Billion. It was my mistake."
My smile faded.
"What do you mean?"
"Commander assigned me to keep an eye on you and make sure the demon didn't pull anything crazy on us. And I failed. You came too close to death."
I shook my head.
"It's okay, Vice Commander. There's no need to blame yourself. These things happen. But where's Commander?"
"Outside, overseeing the final battle. Today's the last day, and everyone is giving it their all. We were both there, but then he released the demon and sent me here. He was going to check on you himself, but couple of unit members including your friend Steve lost it. Nearly fought themselves to death. Commander had to step in before someone got killed."
I blinked.
"Steve? Why?"
She smiled.
"Of course, for the best reward. He's ranked first right now—by a comfortable margin too."
She paused for a few seconds, then spoke again.
"I was going to stop her, Billion. When she pierced your chest, I was ready to intervene. But then you did something insane, and I couldn't help but wait to see how it would play out."
'Wow, so careless.'
But, I did not express my true thoughts.
"Yeah, I know. I was awesome back there." I let out a breath. "That bitch was crazy, by the way, Vice Commander."