TL: looloo
Schedule: 4/Week Wed-Sat
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I had a date that was delightful yet left me with a hint of longing.
I went for a visit to move some belongings for my brother, who was soon to be discharged from the military. During that time, I chatted intermittently with Yeonho throughout the weekend.
"How are things with your boyfriend?"
"Really good."
"I see..."
Upon seeing my brother during the visit, he immediately asked with a hesitant look on his face. I replied casually.
I had started dating Yeonho before my brother's return, and we'd already discussed it. Recently, soldiers could chat from within the military, so I had sent my brother a few photos of me and Yeonho.
They really got along well.
Although there were times my brother's offhand remarks about Yeonho annoyed me, I still missed seeing them laugh and chat together.
To an extent, even more than I did, my brother had always been deeply thankful to Yeonho.
"Does Yeonho not have a laptop? Might he need one? Perhaps for his assignments during his rehab visits."
"You're buying him one?"
"Well, I already did."
After my accident, I came to realize not only the depth of Yeonho's love but also the warmth of my family.
From the moment I opened my eyes in the morning after the accident, through treatments, surgeries, meals, restroom breaks, to sleeping – not a moment was free from pain. My brother, witnessing all of this, always had a tearful expression.
His slight smiles began only after he observed Yeonho tirelessly trying to lift my spirits with his radiant energy every time he visited.
At some point, it felt as if my brother was more concerned about Yeonho than me.
"Hey, Heena."
"Yeah?"
"I noticed Yeonho was crying a bit earlier. In the bathroom."
"His eyes were red."
"Recovery will be tough, but let's hang in there a bit longer."
"Yes, we should."
Given the chance, I wished for them to reunite.
Like Dad, my brother seems a bit uncomfortable about Yeonho being 'my boyfriend' now. Still, I believe their relationship might change once they talk it out.
It wasn't so much certainty but a gut feeling.
"Hey! Heesung, you know this is kind of rogue-ish, right?"
"Why not ask Heena? Even she might agree on this."
"I'll bet fifty thousand won!"
I can still vividly recall their voices, laughing and jesting together.
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Raei Translations
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That evening, I was hit with news as unexpected as lightning from a clear sky: it would be hard to meet for a week because he was helping a friend.
My heart sank at the news.
And yet, I was taken aback by the intensity of my own feelings. There were moments when I felt hollow just from not being able to chat briefly. It wasn't about breaking up, but the mere fact of not seeing each other for a few days. I had never imagined it would sting this much.
I wished to be by his side, helping him, but I was told it was challenging because his friend was going through a tough time.
Jung Yoonsung. A name I recognized.
He had once visited the hospital with Yeonho, and I had met him before. I remembered him being rather reserved.
I didn't want to push my way in, fearing I might become bothersome.
While I desired to be close by, like a protective screen, if I were a disturbance, it wouldn't mean anything.
"Since we can't see each other next week, can I ask something in return?"
Despite the pain, I didn't want to show it. I yearned to mask these feelings quickly, creating a joyous moment.
I approached him, took a step forward, and planted a brief kiss on his cheek.
That kiss wasn't meant as a trade; I had planned on doing it before we parted that day.
Containing my burgeoning emotions was getting hard, especially since I never deemed myself that patient.
It felt like fleeing as I distanced myself from him and headed home.
I understood. In such situations, Yeonho prioritized helping a friend. That bond might naturally take precedence over our relationship.
Rationally, I got it, and the recent gesture of affection somewhat soothed my heart.
Yet, I couldn't help but be greedy, wishing above all else that I was Yeonho's top priority.
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Raei Translations
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Monday.
I wasn't in the mood to spend time just sending messages back and forth. I thought maybe it would be alright to watch from a distance.
I casually asked about the location of the store, and thinking that staying for too long might be tiring and could draw attention, I decided to visit around 8 pm.
Fortunately, the entrance of the store had clear glass, probably for the customers outside to check seating availability.
Having good eyesight, I took a spot between a streetlight and an alleyway, carefully observing the inside.
There he was, Yeonho, wearing an orange apron, diligently clearing tables. I instantly burst into laughter.
It seemed out of place, yet it suited him. Seeing him dressed like that was just too adorable.
I thought, if we were to live together someday, I'd love for Yeonho to cook for me while wearing that apron. Of course, I'd want to do most of it myself, but just once in a while would be nice.
Even something simple, even instant noodles would be fine.
I'd be incredibly happy.
Just by watching him.
Tuesday.
He seemed busy again today. While clearing a table, he paused, leaning heavily on his outstretched arms, looking exhausted.
Even in this state, he looked amazing. I warmed to the thought of him, after we get married, working so hard for our sake.
I’d do my best to comfort her when she comes home tired after a challenging day.
Wednesday.
I saw Yeonho laughing and chatting with some college students. It seemed like casual talk, but more about explaining the menu.
It wasn't the first time I saw him doing this over the past three days. But what unsettled me was one of the students – a pretty girl, quite my type.
I didn't like that at all.
Thursday.
Later in the evening, while watching Yeonho, I bumped into one of his friends who I faintly remembered.
Seeing him stammering, it brought back subtle memories of when we first met.
Though I was startled by this unexpected encounter, I pleaded with him not to tell Yeonho about seeing me. He made a curious face but agreed.
Looking at Yeonho, I'd guess he actively interacts with about 500 people on his messenger, but I remember he seldom kept in touch with high school friends.
Still, this friend, who had been close to Yeonho before we broke up, I hoped they remained on good terms.
Yet, I felt a twinge of jealousy.
I wished that I could become far more important to Yeonho than him. That even if he did him favors, he would value our moments together till the very end.
Friday.
Yeonho caught me. It must have been that friend who told him. He promised to keep it a secret...
After not seeing each other for five days, the joy of finally meeting face-to-face combined with the surprise of unexpectedly seeing him behind me made me hurriedly explain myself.
"Just today?"
"...Sorry. Actually, I’ve been coming every day."
I couldn't bring myself to lie in front of him.
Fortunately, he didn't seem annoyed by my actions, but I realized I should be more discreet in the future.
Still, the thrill of being together and conversing again made my heart race.
"Anyway, I wanted to quit because it was so tough, but I really gained strength just thinking about you."
"Like what, for example?"
"The last time we saw each other, what you did for me... ah."
He whispered these sweet words to me, stopping short when mentioning the cheek kiss I gave him, his cheeks turning a soft shade of red.
I was overwhelmed with happiness.
"I'll do it anytime you want."
Yes, anything at all, whatever it may be.
If you wish for it with a smile, I want to gladly do it for you.
"Do you want to come to my house tomorrow?"
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Raei Translations
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Although I regretted the missed opportunity, seeing Yeonho effortlessly get along with my parents lifted my spirits.
There would surely be other chances for us to kiss. We're still young, after all.
Pushing past the previous events, I sat quietly and observed. Initially, my father, who seemed a bit cold, gradually began to open up in conversation.
One of the reasons my father had taken a liking to Yeonho before was his innate politeness.
Compared to back then, Yeonho might still be young, but I believed such fundamental manners wouldn't change much.
For reasons unknown, my mother was very pleased and fond of Yeonho from the first time they met, both in the past and now.
Was she simply thrilled that her daughter brought home a boyfriend?
Regardless, it felt good.
As long as they blessed my relationship with Yeonho.
After the conversation with my parents, we were on our way home.
We printed some photos, and as Yeonho purchased a frame, we headed to the bus stop, sharing stories.
"You know, both my mom and dad are quite hands-off and have straightforward personalities. They're not usually this warm to people."
He also spoke about his parents, and his portrayal was notably different from my memory, which left me puzzled.
Despite seeing my disheveled state,
Despite me wasting Yeonho's time,
They had always expressed concern, asking if I had struggled or suffered. Maybe they had difficulty expressing themselves to their own family.
I wish we could see them more often and greet them more regularly.
While thinking about it, we glanced at the photos we had just taken, laughing at our silly faces. Before we knew it, we arrived at the bus stop.
Already feeling a sense of loneliness, I suggested to Yeonho that we study together starting next week.
I had been contemplating this for a while, but having lost touch with my high school studies, I spent time studying alone to refresh my memory.
It's been a while since I graduated, and I spent a lot of time in rehab.
Fortunately, I remembered the basics well enough to teach someone. Plus, Yeonho's grades weren't great.
For subjects that required memorization, not just Yeonho but I too would have to put in consistent effort.
However, when I expected Yeonho to readily agree, he said, "I'd be happy and grateful to study together, but can we skip about three days a week?"
Hearing this, my heart sank.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I bother him too much?
These worries clouded my mind, but I was soon relieved by his answer. He just wanted some time with his friends.
I was grateful.
Still, my feelings were mixed.
Because it meant that the time with me alone wasn't enough. I felt jealousy towards those faceless friends.
For a moment, I considered playing hard to get, but I quickly dismissed the idea.
Yeonho was my only dating experience. I had never played games before and didn't want to start now.
Though I knew a little teasing might be good in the long run, it was impossible for me.
I couldn't bear to distance Yeonho or make him feel bad. So I smiled and said I understood.
Yes, friends are essential too.
With that thought, I suppressed the burning desire in my heart.
How can I make Yeonho prioritize me more?
What can I say to make him happier?
How can I make myself his top priority?
Watching Yeonho board the bus, I unknowingly touched my lips. If we became more physically affectionate, showed each other more of ourselves, would Yeonho grow fonder of me?
My desire to just go ahead and do whatever I want, and my wish to start everything romantically, just as Yeonho wanted back then, are mixed together.
With such a contradictory heart, rather than acting vaguely,
Maybe I should prioritize my desires more.
What I want, surely Yeonho would like too.
If I reveal my feelings to him more than now, gradually yet surely, without making him feel burdened, and show my love,
With these lingering thoughts, I once again touched my lips.
Ah—
I really should have kissed him.
Author's Note:
I was planning to upload this in the evening, but suddenly after work, I had an unexpected appointment, so I'm hastily uploading it now ㅠㅠ
It might be refined a bit later, but there won’t be any major changes.
And! I woke up today to see the hit count for my story reached...
3,000!
I couldn't believe my eyes and was very surprised.
Thank you so much for all your love, and I love you too.
Comments! Recommendations! I love you so much!
Also, my work is only being serialized on Novelpia!
The reason it's not exclusive is simply because it didn’t meet the requirements for exclusivity.
It has to be serialized up to episode 30ㅠㅠ
Thank you.