Translator: Penny
Chapter: 192
Chapter Title: The Peak Expert's Backer (4)
I was sitting on the street, passing time with the uncles.
Cheongwol and Dang Soran, who had been hovering around me, were nowhere to be seen today.
They had taken first and second place at the Dragon-Phoenix Assembly, after all. It was only natural.
I heard there would be a celebratory parade for them in a few days.
The uncles were already looking forward to it.
Meanwhile, I was savoring this rare peace on my own.
With the weird tension resolved with Cheongwol, my mind felt a bit lighter, and without Dang Soran nagging at my side, I could finally breathe easy.
It wasn't like I genuinely hated Dang Soran in any serious way, but sometimes her antics got on my nerves. There was no helping that.
The reason I couldn't hate her... well, it just wasn't that deep.
Maybe some affection had built up without me realizing it.
I'd received a ton of help from Dang Soran, too.
Come to think of it, the only reason I could help Namgung Yeon at all was because of her.
...And though I couldn't show it, the memory of losing control back then and forcing her to swallow was burned intensely into my mind.
I had my reasons, emotions, and excuses for it at the time... but a deed was a deed.
Like we were some true SM couple.
From that standpoint, pushing her away yesterday left a nagging discomfort.
I'd bought time by saying I'd prepare a gift, but my worries only deepened.
"...Sigh."
I let out another familiar sigh.
In the past, I'd sighed from sheer boredom, but now it was from a headache that felt like my skull might split open.
Like the monkey's paw had granted my wish.
This wasn't the kind of relief from boredom I'd asked for...
Then, out of nowhere, I spotted someone suspicious.
Shoulders hunched, unlike a few days ago.
Head bowed toward the ground.
Cautious footsteps.
Ragged clothes.
Neither dressed up nor holding her head high, she had zero presence.
No one passing by paid her any mind.
I'd only noticed her by chance myself, but my heart clenched with unease.
"Arghhh!!"
I threw a fit like a tantruming kid.
Scratching at the ground vented the sudden frustration boiling up, kicking up dust.
Gu Yeong and the others stared at me weirdly as they coughed from the dust.
"What's your problem now."
"This punk. When am I gonna get used to you? You were grinning like an idiot just a second ago!"
That was only because Namgung Yeon wasn't around!
"...Haa."
It was astonishing.
Even though she was now the Clan Leader of the Namgung Family, no one recognized her.
If I had to guess, it was because her face wasn't well-known in the Central Plains.
She'd never made a big splash to leave an impression, and she'd dropped out in the first round at this Dragon-Phoenix Assembly.
Dressed in shabby, ordinary clothes, no wonder people ignored her.
Like an unpopular celebrity wandering the streets—no one would notice.
Or like those stars where half the crowd misses them without glasses.
Who could spot the Namgung Family's Clan Leader slinking around in poor rags like that?
Even if they did, they'd probably dismiss it as not being her.
I wished she just wouldn't catch my eye.
I thought to myself.
But the moment I saw her, I was dragged back to yesterday's events.
She looked so strained and precarious.
I wasn't a prophet, but I could tell she'd already veered off her original path.
She'd never become the Namgung Yeon who crushed the Demonic Cult like a rat in a trap at this rate.
She clearly needed help somehow... but now, there was no one to help her.
Anyone inside the Namgung Family who might've supported her had likely been swept away and met their end.
And those outside who should've helped her... with news that she'd holed up in her room, withdrawn, they couldn't reach her.
They might've already given up on her situation from the start.
No one would be surprised if Namgung Yeon fell apart like this.
...But damn it, I'd sent her gold yesterday, too.
Do you have any idea how much shit I went through for that?
Why the hell are you still like this?
It was frustrating enough to die.
You gonna run off to hell with my money? When are you gonna pay me back, you bitch?
"...Haa."
But while my thoughts ran wild like that, my true feelings were a bit different.
I felt immensely sorry for her.
I'd always thought it, but all the twisted futures in this world were butterfly effects I'd caused.
That guilt probably amplified my frustration.
"- -"
In the end, I stood up.
Meeting as her patron Han Seojin was a no go, but bumping into her as the guy from the noodle shop felt less burdensome.
We could always drift apart again.
No forced meetings after today, so our paths wouldn't cross. I decided to approach one last time.
Step.
I stood in front of Namgung Yeon, channeling yesterday's frustration.
She flinched at my shadow, then tried to sidestep me.
Without even checking who I was.
Stop.
I blocked her path again.
Only then did Namgung Yeon look up at me.
Her listless eyes widened round.
I cleared my throat and spoke.
"We met at that noodle shop, right? What happened in just a few days—you look so worn out."
I tried to keep my tone as casual as possible.
Like I'd just spotted her passing by and grabbed her.
She seemed to recognize me, too.
I continued.
"Did you run out of money again?"
Namgung Yeon glanced at me briefly, then dropped her eyes again.
Even now, she deliberately lowered her voice to a forced growl.
"- If you're here to mock me -"
"- Mock you? Why would I?"
Namgung Yeon clenched her fists tightly.
I knew why.
When we'd parted at the noodle shop, she'd boldly told me to watch the tournament closely.
But the result was a crushing defeat. How could she not feel ashamed?
Namgung Yeon spoke.
"I entered the tournament and suffered that humiliation—"
Knowing it all, I cut in first.
"-Tournament? You entered?"
"-Pardon?"
"I missed chunks of it due to work. Were you a participant? You don't look it. So scrawny—how could you beat anyone?"
Namgung Yeon seemed relieved at the out I'd given her.
She didn't bother correcting me.
"- In any case, I failed to produce results. I'm not in the mood for banter, so step aside."
"Jeez. Can't produce a little result and you mope like this? Someone's think you'd lost a hand or something."
That seemed to ignite her anger.
"You...!"
Her voice cracked with thick fury, letting a brief, beautiful clear tone slip out.
It startled even me—like polished jade.
She cleared her throat awkwardly, then donned her mask again.
"- You can say that because you don't know what that tournament meant to me! For the people who believed in me and helped me, I had to deliver results no matter what!"
"Eh-hey. It's just a tournament—what's with getting so sensitive? It's all 'cause you're hungry."
"- Are you mocking me right now?"
"Whatever. You look like you'll collapse on the street if I leave you. Come on. Least let me buy you a bowl of noodles so I can feel better."
I said that, but suddenly remembered my wallet.
"- Damn, I'm broke.
The most I can afford is..."
"- -"
"- Rat."
We ended up back at that same noodle shop from before.
That cheap joint was the limit of what I could pay for.
After setting the noodles in front of her, I tried to console her.
"Forget that tournament crap. Everyone faces humiliation and crawls sometimes to survive."
Namgung Yeon stared at me blankly, then whispered in a crawling voice.
"- A man has his pride. How could I endure such humiliation?"
"Who cares about man or whatever? Everyone has moments like that. Does that mean everyone who lost at the Dragon-Phoenix Assembly starves? Dang Soran's the only winner—everyone else keels over?"
And why are you bringing up a man's pride... You're a woman...
You're the type who clings like a sparrow at a mill because a puppy's cute—why keep acting tough...
The more I looked, the more Namgung Yeon seemed draped in clothes that didn't fit.
Knowing and not knowing made a world of difference.
Namgung Yeon was a woman. A very delicate one at that.
Even in the original story, that was true.
She couldn't help gushing inside over beautiful things.
She wanted to bawl when friends died.
Loved flower scents, hated blood.
She cherished peace over battle—that was her.
But seeing her like this? It drove me nuts.
Wouldn't she grow by shedding those uncomfortable rags and embracing her femininity?
But if I suddenly called her out—"Why pretend to be a man? You've got no dick."—it'd just spark backlash.
Forcing off the mask wouldn't end well.
It might even push her to extremes.
For her, trying to hold up the Namgung family, being a woman was a massive flaw.
People might say a woman can't lead the clan and tear it all down.
So if I revealed I knew her secret, I couldn't predict how the crumbling Namgung Yeon would treat me.
Even polite Dang Soran turned out bratty once I knew—Namgung Yeon could surprise me too.
That's why this gentle approach was all I could do.
"Anyway. Eat first. Have you even checked how you look?"
"- Keep misunderstanding. I've told you, I'm not poor..."
Thud.
I finally smacked the table lightly.
The dejected Namgung Yeon flinched at the sound.
To get her eating, I had to poke her weak spot.
"- Quit yapping like some nagging man. Just eat already?"
"- -"
Namgung Yeon grimaced briefly, then finally grabbed her chopsticks roughly.
Slurp, slurp. She shoveled it down for a while.
Maybe her hunger kicked in midway—she ate well on her own.
Even as she did, she seemed indignant and whispered at me.
"Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not obeying out of fear of you."
"Jeez. Who said that?"
But she kept giving slightly off-target responses.
"And I disagree with what you said earlier. A true man shouldn't crawl the dirt to survive. He needs courage."
"What's the point if you're dead?"
"- Hmph."
She shrugged like she'd won. Like her snort said, That's your limit.
That subtle vibe, competing with me on manliness.
You lack the guts so you'd crawl, but I've got guts so I won't... that kind of feel.
It'd be baffling from a guy, but from a woman? Infuriating.
Was she counterattacking my "nagging man" jab?
It felt like ages ago, back in the capital, when I'd chicken-game Jegal Yong over Dang Soran's marriage with messengers.
"- -"
But I admit it.
Namgung Yeon had the spirit to press on even if her body shattered.
That became one reason she grew strong later.
She just hadn't realized yet she didn't need to tie it to manliness.
She was simply a better person than me, morally. Circumstances just didn't help.
Then I tossed out the question I'd truly been curious about.
"Why the bandages on your arm? Hurt in the matches? Wooden swords shouldn't cut."
She hadn't been hit by a wooden sword. I'd watched the tournament.
Namgung Yeon paused mid-slurp.
"- None of your business."
She said that and focused back on her noodles.
But I could tell.
A sigh escaped me.
...This really looked like self-harm scars.
I watched her finish the noodles roughly and stood up.
As I paid the shopkeep and headed out, Namgung Yeon called me back.
"Where are you going?"
"Gotta go now. You ate, right?"
"- Just like this?"
"I accomplished my goal."
Feeding her was one thing, but I'd also been probing her.
It sharpened my sense of what to put in the letter I'd send her.
Tell her to spend the money, sure—but also to drop the burdens, stop acting like tough grass.
As I left the noodle shop, Namgung Yeon called again.
"Hey...!"
"- Yeah?"
"What... was your name again?"
"- Why do you need to know? I'm heading home soon. We won't meet again."
Namgung Yeon mumbled, then whispered while looking at me.
"We won't meet anyway, so why's this man nagging..."
"- -"
...Damn, that actually stung.
Scratching my sadist male ego?
So I said.
"Han Seojin."
As I turned to leave, feeling a bit scratched and wanting to eat better, I added one last line.
"- If you're gonna provoke my masculinity, bulk up first. Skinny like a chopstick that snaps if touched—don't claim to be more than man me..."
"W-What?"
I strode right out.