For Cheongwol, the meaning of play had changed long ago.
Play was a realm of trust.
There was certainly an element of soothing her heart demon... but delving deeper, it was also the moment when she confirmed her bond with Han Seojin.
That humiliation felt during play.
Moments brought about solely by Han Seojin's demands.
To navigate through all of it, she had to trust Han Seojin completely.
She had to believe his words that it would be fine to walk among people with a collar on.
...And that even if she did it, he would affirm even that ugly tail end. That trust had to be the foundation.
Because it might not be okay. Cheongwol inwardly knew there was a chance he'd snort in disdain and mock her, asking if she really went that far.
As the Sect Leader's disciple of the Emei Sect, if she were seen in such a state by others... it would be an act of such utter devastation and shame that she'd have to bite her tongue.
Yet the reason she did it was singular.
In that moment of submission, she hoped he would embrace the weakness she offered.
Instead of trampling it, she yearned for him to gently stroke her like this.
And every time, Han Seojin never betrayed that trust.
On the contrary, he enveloped her most vulnerable core with the care of caressing tender flesh.
He was the one who called her beautiful, lovely, even in her pitiful state.
In those instants, Cheongwol felt profound relief alongside the exhilarating thrill of her trust being rewarded.
Believing his words, liberated from heavy pressure... she could affirm her own wretched, broken self.
Thus, for Cheongwol, the meaning of play had long since changed.
Play was the moment of confirming their affection.
Words were mere facades. Didn't countless people just pay lip service?
Only dialogue through actions served as true proof.
Cheongwol craved that proof.
Did she want to play now? No.
Cheongwol didn't want to.
The Sect Leader was outside. It was absolutely something she couldn't do.
But precisely because of that.
In this precarious moment, paradoxically, she wanted to confirm Han Seojin's feelings.
Didn't extreme situations reveal the authenticity of emotions even more vividly through reckless actions?
Play always gifted complex emotions that were hard to comprehend.
She hated it yet loved it, loved it yet hated it. Doing it was good, not doing it was good.
But her intent was clear.
Whether they played or stayed here.
Either way, it was a plea to show affection.
****
"Either relieve my heart demon here and risk getting caught by the Sect Leader, or stay on Mount Emei... choose one."
I couldn't say a word.
...What the hell was she saying?
"...Play?"
My mind wasn't working properly.
Anyone would be the same in front of Cheongwol's gaze.
Her abilities. How easily she could kill a person.
And having witnessed all of it up close with my own eyes, an instinctive reaction surged like a tattoo etched into my body.
Even now, her eyes were on the verge of turning murderous.
But the more it was like this, the more I had to suppress my fear and press forward.
"Talk sense, Wol. As you said, the Sect Leader is outside."
"If we can't play, then just stay on Mount Emei. Simple, right?"
"..."
I couldn't respond this time either.
Honestly, the best scenario for me... was just parting amicably with Cheongwol.
Without faking my death. Without running away.
Naturally drifting apart without major incident, severing ties—that was ideal.
Agreeing mutually and saying bye-bye.
Wishing each other well in pursuing our own lives.
That's why I'd been testing the waters just now... but Cheongwol's reaction made me feel bone-deep how reckless I'd been.
This relationship seemed far harder to escape than I'd thought.
But even so, I couldn't back down now.
Once you draw the sword, you have to swing it.
Was I going to be dragged around by Cheongwol forever? No.
If Cheongwol drew her sword, I had nothing to counter with, but I couldn't grovel every time.
I had to fight to protect my own territory.
"Why should I follow your choices?"
"What?"
"I don't really feel like playing now. And I don't need your permission for moving either..."
...Ah, fuck.
Eyes, please, tone it down.
"...No reason."
Cheongwol let out a deep sigh.
"It's been so long since we played. You know that, right?"
"...Yeah."
"But why don't you want to? Is it because you don't want to play with me anymore?"
"Not that, it's because outside..."
"...We walked around the city streets too. There were no people then?"
No comeback.
Then something caught my eye.
Cheongwol's hand was shaking.
I gathered my wits and looked up at her.
From the emotions blooming on her face, she didn't seem particularly eager for play either.
"..."
...Right. This woman who always whined about hating it and felt ashamed—there was no reason for her to suddenly muster courage.
The one most wary of the Sect Leader had no reason to take on this risk.
Maybe she was just bluffing.
Knowing I'd refuse play, she was threatening based on that premise.
Do this, or stay.
But even if so, no need to get lost in that thought.
It was blatant coercion.
I defended my territory once more.
"...I said it already, but I don't have to indulge your coercion, do I?"
"..."
I exchanged a long silence with Cheongwol through our gazes.
And in that silence, something writhed inside me.
A long-suppressed emotion slowly raised its head.
...No, fuck, these bastards for real.
Why do they all make my life hell one after another?
Even earthworms writhe when stepped on—I'm human, so of course I snap.
Huh? Why don't I get a peaceful daily life?
I just dream of quietly eating well and living well...!
Leather clothes are selling great, I'm trying to live a good life...!
What's this now!
Some old lady comes down lecturing me.
A killer ghost clings saying don't leave.
Even Muwol Satae has to see this mess.
Look. Am I the one insisting?
She's the one insisting!
Well, she seems reluctant too...
I just wanted to shove it in her face.
"...So no play?"
I nodded.
The Sect Leader's outside.
If she intended to, couldn't she easily figure out what we're doing?
"...And not staying on Mount Emei either."
"I haven't decided that."
"But you might not stay."
"Probably."
...Fine.
I'd held my ground for now.
This was the limit of my power.
I'd fought well enough—I wanted to pat myself on the back.
"Besides, your Sect Leader said it herself."
"...What..."
"Not to get too close. I have no intention of defying the Sect Leader's will."
"..."
Cheongwol's eyes quivered.
...Huh?
The atmosphere shifted strangely.
There's that sensation only the person facing it feels.
I'm no martial artist, so I don't know well... but having seen Cheongwol kill multiple times, I knew.
...Something like killing intent was palpable.
In the increasingly oppressive aura pressing down on me, tension instinctively filled my body.
"In the end, you won't listen to anything I say..."
With that, Cheongwol spoke. The weight in her words had grown far heavier.
"So, you'll do whatever you want...?"
I mustered courage once more.
"I don't need your permission for anything."
"...We're friends, right?"
"Don't change the subject."
Cheongwol slowly nodded.
"...You're right. Yes, Young Master is correct. No need for my permission."
"..."
She affirmed my words, but I felt even greater pressure.
And in that moment, I saw it.
Cheongwol's eyes reverting to those of a killer.
That dim gaze devoid of emotion.
The eyes she had when killing in front of me.
Soon, she whispered.
"Then, from now on, I'll do whatever I want too?"
"Huh?"
A chill raced up my spine.
With those words, Cheongwol resolutely turned her body.
Her hand had already returned to her sword hilt.
As if the blade might be drawn any second.
Ah.
My body reacted first.
I grabbed her wrist again.
Cold sweat began pouring from my entire body.
Fucking bitch...!
That was definitely an attempt to kill just now.
Not my paranoia.
She was about to snap for real.
"...Let go?"
Cheongwol asked coldly.
At that commanding tone, I nearly loosened my grip instinctively.
But no.
Now, Cheongwol becoming one of the Seven Heavens was bad for my safety too.
She was already a killer, but Demonic Cult Seven Heavens Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol was a different breed.
The current Cheongwol wasn't beyond saving to the point of harming civilians.
If she became Demonic Cult's Seven Heavens Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol... my life wouldn't be guaranteed.
She might swing her sword over a single breath that irked her.
I regained my senses.
Right. Since when did I have a choice?
You got complacent because Cheongwol loosened up a bit.
Huh? You must be dying to die.
I gritted my teeth, then exhaled long.
I gripped her wrist more roughly.
Drew close to her.
Cheongwol yielded slightly, ending up wedged between the wall and me.
"The conversation isn't over—why leave on your own?"
Strength drained from Cheongwol's hand; for now, she released the sword.
"...Let go, Young Master. I—"
"—Just because I won't indulge your coercion... you act like this on your own?"
"You act on your own too...!"
I slowly placed my hand on her face.
Gently grasped her chin. Her soft cheek yielded under my palm.
"Are you and I the same?"
Cheongwol opened her mouth, but soon turned her frustrated gaze aside and shut it.
"There's a limit to endurance, Cheongwol."
Honestly, I was scared her hand might slice mine off.
But in that instant, her expression changed.
The icy composure softened with faint emotion.
She spoke.
"...It's because it's you that I'm enduring this far. It's the limit."
"..."
"How hard can it be? Just promise lightly. That you'll stay on Mount Emei—"
"—Two choices, right?"
I couldn't yield.
Cheongwol's bravado shattered there.
As if she hadn't expected me to say that.
"In other words, if we play here, it's okay to leave Mount Emei?"
Cheongwol's eyes widened at my words, and she shook her head vehemently.
"No? I said relieve my heart demon or stay on Mount Emei. I never said you could leave after playing!"
"I'll relieve it."
This was a bluff too.
Relieve what? If the heart demon dissipates, it's not my merit—it's just Cheongwol being a masochist.
Either way, my goal was one.
I had to divert Cheongwol's mind. Keep her from falling.
Leaving Mount Emei or not was secondary.
"You must've forgotten after fifty days without play."
With even more shocking play.
Play that wouldn't allow a single stray thought.
"I'll remind you of our relationship. I've been wanting to too."
Muwol Satae outside? Not even on my mind.
What good is minding that old lady now.
Right now, ignoring this killer ghost means we all die.
I had clear priorities on who to appease.
No, if she's gonna watch, let her.
I can't hold back my own grievance.
I secretly swallowed, then slipped my hand under her monastic robe.
My heart pounded like it would burst.
"Eek!!"
Cheongwol startled and pushed my arm down, but I didn't budge.
"Wh-what are you doing...!"
She whispered in askance.
I teased her waist, that soft skin, with my fingertips.
Direct touch.
A nun lacked resistance to this.
I whispered.
"Why? Like you said, we're friends."
"...Ngh! Y-Young Master...!"
"...This much is fine, right?"