The pouring rain fell from the sky in sheets.
Cheongwol sat alone in one corner of the second-generation disciples' quarters, continuing her training.
She could have swung her sword in the rain, but her master Soun didn't approve of that.
It was because of the teaching that it was vulgar for Emei Sect's female disciples to get soaked in the rain and reveal their figures.
In the past, those words had seemed terribly old-fashioned... but after the incident in Han Seojin's basement, Cheongwol had come to understand them a little.
Anyway, that was why.
On rainy days, Cheongwol would follow her master's words and choose to refine her qi instead of practicing with her sword.
Like this, inside the quarters, quietly regulating her breathing and gathering qi in her dantian.
Circulating qi.
‘...’
Cheongwol's eyes, in the midst of her training, cracked open ever so slightly.
‘...the atmosphere... so she's alone. Who would go near her...’
‘...doing that... doesn't help anyway, it's just for show...’
‘...I acknowledge her skills... but honestly as a person...’
Was it because she was focused on her qi?
Even the faint whispers from the opposite corner came through crystal clear.
It was her senior sisters.
They were fellow second-generation disciples, and the ones who envied her.
They were the biggest reason Cheongwol could never fully immerse herself in circulating qi.
Rainy days weren't just for Cheongwol to rest under the eaves.
With more people around and limited space, they naturally ran into each other.
If she tried circulating qi amid them, this always happened.
External stimuli during circulating qi were dangerous.
If someone touched her while her qi flow was being properly aligned, her qi and blood could tangle, and in severe cases, she could fall into qi deviation.
Her senior sisters wouldn't do it on purpose, surely...
But Cheongwol didn't trust them. No, she didn't even want to.
...For Cheongwol, who had no desire to play dangerous games, she prioritized safety whenever these untrustworthy senior sisters were nearby.
So she always stopped at this level of concentration.
A half-hearted state like dozing off, just steadying her breath instead of true immersion.
‘...ha.’
And today, it was especially bad.
With her focus shattered, Cheongwol soon closed her eyes.
Immersion was hopeless anyway.
Better to at least pretend.
Then their voices came steadily.
‘On a day like this, is there any reason she has to do that?’
‘Exactly. Everyone else is resting, but she's making us feel awkward...’
‘That's why Master keeps comparing us to her and scolding us... She really lives like she's alone...’
Cheongwol was already grinding her teeth.
She knew.
What they wanted wasn't fair criticism—it was just forced belittling.
If it came to a verbal fight?
Cheongwol would definitely win.
Crushing them with logic would be easier than eating cold porridge.
But...
...it would be pointless.
Because it was a fight she would lose anyway.
Group living wasn't about right and wrong.
What good was winning with logic? She'd just end up more isolated.
She'd become even more of an odd one out.
It would give them more fodder to chew on, make them hate her more, and distance her further from them.
Fighting wouldn't change anything.
Cheongwol recited a silent prayer inwardly.
Just endure a little longer.
Hold on just a bit more.
This too was training.
‘She has to do it every day or two, it feels like acting. Is she even training?’
‘Isn't she doing it so her being alone stands out even more if she doesn't?’
‘Yeah, I think so? Even at the last sect evaluation, they said she'd regressed. No, if she put in that effort and regressed, she must've just been pretending...’
“...Ha.”
That last remark shattered Cheongwol's patience.
It was the cause of her recently shortened temper.
She no longer knew exactly why she was holding back...
The clear motivation of upholding Emei Sect's honor had been fading lately.
Cheongwol slowly rose from her seat.
And headed straight for the junior sisters whispering in the corner.
At the center was Baekhui.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
It was Baekhui who had said the words that snapped Cheongwol's last thread of patience.
Cheongwol's hand struck Baekhui's cheek.
The sound made everyone around hold their breath.
No one dared make a peep.
But once wasn't enough.
The second strike followed sharply.
In ten years at the sect, this was the first time Cheongwol had raised her hand.
Baekhui's cheek flushed red in an instant, and a thin line of crimson blood trickled from her lips.
“Ch-Cheongwol senior... why all of a sudden...!”
She protested in a pitiful voice, but Cheongwol's expression didn't change.
There was no regret.
“I heard everything, Baekhui.”
Cheongwol whispered.
“...Everything. Always.”
How long she had suppressed it, how many emotions...
No one, especially not Baekhui, could ever understand, even in death.
Ten years living with these senior sisters.
And Cheongwol knew better than anyone that she was the strongest among them.
She had just watched these crushable insects.
What had held her back until now was
Emei Sect's rules,
her master's gaze,
and the desire to somehow get along with her senior sisters...
Looking back now, what use were they?
Senior disciple Hye-yul, watching from afar, rose from her seat.
“Cheongwol!”
That shout acted like a signal.
Only then did Cheongwol feel all eyes on her.
A faint but clear hostility arose.
...As expected.
Just as she thought.
She'd become the public enemy again.
Cheongwol let out a bitter smile.
“...Ha.”
Even that short exhale made Hye-yul flinch.
Indeed...
Could she really ever laugh and get along with them someday?
Hadn't she already crossed an irreversible river, and wasn't pretending not to know just fooling herself?
Getting stronger wasn't the only answer.
In the end, she had to be with people to plan a future within the sect.
...Did her future even remain here?
Cheongwol looked around.
Amid all these people...
...Not a single one.
...Not one on her side.
She was slowly, deeply learning that loneliness could be felt even in a crowded space.
She turned her head without a word and walked away.
...One person suddenly came to mind.
She hadn't been able to bring herself to visit out of shame, but now despair outweighed the shame.
****
It rained heavily all day today.
What does that mean?
Business is dead.
Exhausted from moving the drying hides underground, and on days like this, everyone's body and mind slacked off.
Farmers might jump for joy in the rain, but to merchants, it was just a headache.
No one on the streets—what was there to sell?
Ah, inns are the exception.
Inns get packed on rainy days.
All the idle folks, trapped indoors, flock there.
Going to the inn on a rainy day is practically a custom.
Of course, for me, it's just adding one more loner to the mix.
Still, maybe I'll go after a long time.
Cheongwol's debt is cleared!
Feeling pretty good?
A while back, some of Emei Sect's third-generation disciples came down on an errand and even bought a bundle of straw ropes.
Thanks to that, my pockets are flush.
Of course, it was a bit chilling at the time.
Wondering if Cheongwol had come down too.
So I asked.
‘Uh... Is Young Lady Cheongwol doing well?’
What was that kid's name again.
The third-generation disciple, who looked about twelve, scowled and replied.
‘Ugh, mister. Don't get ideas about Cheongwol.’
‘...Why would I covet that crazy—no, Young Lady Cheongwol? And why am I 'mister'?’
‘If you're not coveting her, why ask about her whereabouts?’
‘...’
That kid could talk, really punchable.
‘Besides, our young lady's been super popular lately~? Not your league, mister~? Our young lady's Emei Sect's Thousand-Year Flower to begin with~? She doesn't go near men~?’
‘...Is that so?’
Please live like that forever.
The kid, who'd been snarky, suddenly changed tone.
‘...But she's doing well! Her expression's softened lately. It was totally fierce before?’
‘...That's a relief.’
No, seriously.
Really glad.
Means her rampage has calmed down.
After that, the girl turned as if I wasn't worth more questioning and went back to her senior sisters.
The three gathered girls side-eyed me and started whispering.
Then smirked mischievously and walked off with groans of disgust.
...Whatever it was, they were talking behind my back.
...Better that way.
Perfect, actually.
Murim folk hating me? Not bad at all.
But those kids were just messing around.
They talk like that but sometimes bring me a wild strawberry, remembering the lonely guy, then run off embarrassed.
Anyway.
I need to stay away from Murim folk.
Of course, I'm still close with the Beggars' Sect uncles who took care of orphan me...
Honestly, what can I do?
They saved my life.
No matter how much I want to distance from Murim. Even if most Beggars' Sect uncles get dragged into the Demonic Cult war.
I can't shake that bond.
I asked if they could quit begging and stay away from Murim, but they said they liked that life. I gave up persuading.
Those uncles have hot blood; even ordinary life, Demonic Cult shows up and they'd charge barefoot.
...Still, relief is Beggars' Sect isn't as much a Demonic Cult target.
Right, speaking of which.
Gonna drag some Beggars' Sect uncles to the inn.
I'll foot the bill, but so what.
Maybe uncles pass special info to the innkeeper, and I get free drinks with them.
Uncles must be getting soaked right now.
“Up we go.”
I got up from the bed and prepared to head out.
Whistling as I planned a good day.
Excited for a rare outing?
Heh, even grinning.
After escaping Cheongwol's clutches, life actually looked beautiful.
For real.
They say you gotta survive a near-death to appreciate life.
I opened the door and stepped out.
Rain still pouring.
Even so, headed out to find the uncles.
“Off I—"
“—Where to?”
The moment I took the first step, my movement froze.
From neck to toes, every joint stiffened.
I stood rigid, staring at the distant scenery.
The sound of rain filled my ears.
At the far left of my vision, at the edge... something in white robes stood.
I didn't want to confirm what it was.
Like when a ghost's behind you—you don't turn.
The pouring rain continued filling our silence.
“...”
...Ah, maybe just close the door and go back in.
Suddenly wanna rest.
“...Shopkeeper. Long time no see—look this way?”
I stiffly turned my head.
Life-Pursuing Ghost Cheongwol.
She was quietly sheltering under my eaves.
Expression not great either.
Wanna ask that third-gen kid.
...Cheongwol's expression improved? Liar?
Heading to meet beggar uncles and run into Cheongwol.
Gap too big, no?
“L-Long time, y-young lady.”
“...Taking the day off? Waited a while thinking you weren't in.”
The fact she waited for me was chillingly scary.
Coming on a rainy day when streets are empty—scary.
...Surely I'm not already marked?
“...W-Well...”
“...Isn't making that scared face every time you see a woman... rude?”
...You coming here like this is ruder, and you're not a woman to begin with.
Crazy murder ghost.
I painfully composed my face and clasped hands in greeting.
“My apologies, but we're closed today... Please head back, young lady.”
Need to escape.
“N-Now, if you'll excuse—”
“...You think I really came to buy something?”
...Never heard anything scarier in my life.
Last time was already terrifying...
No clue how to react, just gulped saliva.
I struggled to lift my bowed head.
“...”
The moment our eyes met, Cheongwol blushed at her ears and looked down first.
Suddenly 'I'm a girl' mode murder ghost.
This scares me more.
Like meeting a psychopath drinking milk at a booze party.
“Th-That... sh-shopkeeper.”
Cheongwol stammered as she spoke.
“...Yes?”
“...A-Actually.”
Leaning against my shop, tapping the ground with her foot.
Her sword at her waist swayed.
I kept glancing between her and the sword.
“...A-Actually, shopkeeper...”
Frustrated by her stuttering, I spoke first.
“I-I forgot, young lady.”
Cheongwol frowned slightly.
“...What?”
“I-If it's about that day bothering you, I really forgot.”
Cheongwol was silent for a long time, then whispered quietly.
“...Not that.”
“...Th-Then?”
Eyes squeezed shut, Cheongwol let out a long sigh.
“...I mean...”
“...”
“...The heart demon treatment...”
Ah, that lie?
Here to call me out now that it doesn't work?
Am I dying here?
In panic, I shouted.
“Sorry—!”
“—I-It... seemed to help a little.”
“?”
For a moment, thought I misheard.
I blankly stared at Cheongwol's lips.
Cheongwol continued, face red.
“...A-Afterward, Sect Leader praised my sword path improving... And for a while, the voices tormenting me vanished.”
Her head still down.
So low now even her forehead was hidden.
Neck and ears burning red visible.
Meanwhile, I questioned myself.
...How is that possible?
Why did it work?
What's heart demon got to do with SM?
SM just breeds disgust if inclinations don't match.
“...”
...No way.
...Nah?
...She's not a masochist, right?
Before judgment, Cheongwol spoke.
“...E-Everything about that situation was repulsive...!”
Ah, knew it.
“B-But... my skills improved.”
Whatever it was didn't matter.
Not particularly curious.
Just wanted distance.
“Glad it helped, young lady. Then I'll be—”
“—So!”
“...”
“...J-Just a little more... Do that kind of thing to me.”
“...Pardon?”
My brain keeps freezing in this mess.
Do what more.
...SM?
More of that?
I couldn't think anymore.
Just blurted out.
“M-Me...?”
She said very softly, but clearly.
“...Who else but you, shopkeeper? Just... help a bit more.”
That voice drilled into my bones.
So unwittingly, I answered honestly.
My fear popped out.
“........Wh-Why me?”