He had attended college instead of joining the NPB to begin with, now he was talking about heading back to Japan?
"Okay… Well, if it comes to that then fine." Barry said, he also seemed a little surprised. "Perhaps you could join another overseas league that doesn't require you to play for an extended period of time instead…"
"How about we talk about that only if it comes to it." Mark interjected, seeing that Ken seemed to be a little out of sorts. "My contract was great from Detroit, so I doubt they will try and screw you over." He added.
"Let's hope so." Barry replied. "Well, I don't think there's anything left to speak about for now. I'll send over the details to the network and let you know if I hear any word from other teams interested in drafting you." He said, standing up from the desk.
He extended his hand and Ken shook it, this time it was a little firmer.
"Thank you Barry." Ken said respectfully. His grandfather was right, the little man was a little peculiar, but he certainly knew what he was doing.
Once they left the building, Ken and Mark returned back to the house. He was staying for another night before heading back to Texas. The draft was in 6 days and everything still felt rather surreal.
Ken felt like at any point he would wake up from a dream. In fact, he had been feeling like this for longer than he could remember.
He was still no closer to understanding where the system had come from, nor how he was able to regress back in time to when he was in middle school. The worst part was, Ken was unable to speak to anyone about it, at least not directly.
Ken and Mark were sitting in the lounge room in companionable silence for a while as they sipped their tea.
"What's on your mind?" Mark asked finally, seeing that Ken was acting a little off.
"Do you ever feel like you're living in a dream?" Ken asked, not expecting himself to ask such a question.
Mark did not answer right away. Some might laugh off the question, but not him. He could tell that his grandson was being serious.
"I can't say that I've felt that way, Ken. Though sometimes when I sleep, I still dream of my Yumi. Sometimes I wish that I could live in that dream world forever, even if it isn't real…" He replied seriously.
Ken felt his body shiver for a moment. He turned to his grandfather and gazed into his eyes, they were earnest.
It had been weighing on him for a while. But what would he do if this was all a dream? A trick of the mind while he was recovering from his overdose in his previous life.
A sense of pain and loss quickly drove into his heart like a dagger. The thought of losing everything that he'd worked hard for dawned on him. Ai, Daichi, his family, his friends… Even his Grandpa who had already died from the cancer in his previous life.
Ken's body began to shake and his breath hitched. Suddenly he was struggling to breathe, as if his airways were closing on him. His eyes went wide open and he grasped at his neck, panicking.
Mark shot to his feet with shock.
"C—Calm down Ken. Try and breathe slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth." The tea had been spilled onto the ground, but he didn't look to care. He grabbed Ken by the shoulders and held him firmly. "You're having a panic attack, you need to calm down."
Ken struggled, trying to control himself. It was so sudden that he had not been able to see the signs. He tried to follow his grandfather's instructions, but failed at first. Only after a few minutes was he able to calm down.
He laid back against the couch, exhausted.
"S—Sorry… I don't know what came over me." Ken said, not knowing what to say. He could see the concerned expression in his grandfather's face and felt bad for making him worry so much.
Mark was silent for a moment before nodding, "It's okay. Stay here while I clean this up."
As the man left, Ken's mind was elsewhere. He did not know what had overcome him in that moment, but he had been filled with despair.
'I should not think of such things in the future… I just need to live my life as normal.' He thought.
After Mark cleaned up the broken mug and the tea that had spilled, he returned to the lounge and gazed at Ken, some worry in his features.
"Tell me what you were thinking about before the panic attack." He said.
Ken didn't answer right away. He couldn't tell his grandfather about regressing, or the system. There was no way that the man would believe him and even if he did, there was nothing that he could say that would make Ken feel better.
So he had to lie, as much as it pained him.
"I was just thinking about what would happen if I did not get drafted… The thought of not being able to achieve my dream after all the hard work that I put in made my chest tense up…" He replied.
Mark frowned, suspicion in his gaze. However, he let out a sigh and answered, "It is normal to have fears Ken, but they rarely end up in a panic attack. I know you said that it feels like a dream, but you have sincerely worked hard to get where you are now."
"I saw it back in the U18 National Team, and even more so now while you were in college. You have improved by leaps and bounds, all off the back of your hard work. If anyone deserves to get into the Major League, it is you my boy." He said, placing a hand on Ken's leg reassuringly.
"Thank you Grandpa." Ken felt bad, but he still smiled.