My resonance helped the staff to quickly change, but it would take a while, and so I used the opportunity for a brief reorientation of my mental state.
I smiled as I looked at the three small silver charms tied near the head. Mel had given me a small silver bell, my mum’s charm was a needle-hoop, and I had a small gold disc from my dad.
These charms were a tradition from my village given to the child that is about to leave home, it was to serve as a reminder of their roots and the love of their family.
Knowing my dad, he had given me this gold disk as a charm, knowing that if I were stranded, I could sell it for cash. I smiled at the thought.
"Hello," I said.
"I will come home."
Nothing but silence answered me.
By the time I stood, the grey of pre-dawn had given way to the pale early light that meant the first hour of the day was no longer beginning, it was now running.
I pushed open the tent flap, and the camp was further along than it should have been, and that told me how long I had sat inside my tent.
The cook fires were no longer small, and Bari’s voice was reaching me from our fire with the cadence of complaint that arrived only after he had eaten enough to have an opinion about what he had eaten.
Dara was already on her feet, satchel across her shoulder, and for a moment, I recalled the face of hatred she had shown me, and I hesitated before I turned away from them.
I looked around for Rex, but he was not at the fire. Where was he?
I scanned for him without turning my head, the way Observation at thirty-seven let me scan, and found him crossing the camp from the direction of the fire toward his own tent.
He must have finished eating while I had been sitting with the staff. The window where I would walk to the fire and sit down with him and my friends was gone.
Which I saw as a good thing, I did not want to sit with them this morning, not with memories of my past loop still on my mind.
I had been looking for the right moment to confront Rex, and I would rather do it away from my friends, as this could cause a clash I was not ready for at the moment.
I walked across the camp at an angle that would intercept him before he reached his tent.
I noticed that my breath was visible in the cold air, but only as breath, and I was reminded of the red steam that had been pouring out of my mouth a moment before as I burned my soul.
By all the lights in heaven, it would be a miracle if I walked out of this thing without going insane.
Rex saw me coming, and I waved at him, and his face sort of adjusted a bit, and I was learning how to interpret those small tics.
He did not slow his walk, and like the entitled brat he was, he let me come to him and did not slow down his pace, and so I hurried before he entered his tent, knowing that if he did, I would be forbidden from following him.
He stopped in front of his tent, and the way he angled his body, it was a declaration that I was not welcome inside.
"Voss," he said.
"Rex."
"You missed the porridge."
"I am not sure that is such a bad thing."
Rex frowned a bit, "You might be correct, Aldis needs to be changed, I can’t stomach that sludge any longer."
"Oh, but you seem to be eating it fine."
"And how would you know that Voss, were you spying on me through your tent like a little rat?"
Rex smiled, but the look in his eyes was anything but pleasant, as if I was a stain under his polished boots, outside the campfires, without my friends by my side, he was free to show his true colors.
However, I could not give a damn about his thoughts at the moment as I went directly to the point, hoping to shake him and see what fell out.
"What did Scholar Orath find?" I said, the question came out of nowhere.
Rex’s face did not change. "So you were listening to our conversation, you little freak."
I sighed, "Rex, I am three inches taller than you."
He snorted and tried to look at me down his nose, but seeing that I was just looking at him in a detached manner, he finally shrugged,
"I would not know," he said. "I am not in the scholar’s confidence."
"You told me you were."
"I beg your pardon?"
"You told me that you had overheard Orath and Commander Rel speaking the night before. That Orath had found something. That he did not say what."
Rex stopped breathing for a single beat, perhaps two. Then the breath returned, and something in his demeanor changed, and it was as if I was no longer looking at a noble brat but someone else. I would not have noticed it at all if I had not been watching for it.
"I do not recall saying that," he said, "especially not to you."
I smiled in the way Mel did when she wanted to piss me off, a bullshit grin that would make a saint want to punch me in the teeth, "You said it."
"To whom?"
"To me."
"Voss," he said, in a calm manner, and this surprised me at the degree of restraint that he had, "I do not have private conversations with you about Scholar Orath, or about anyone else. If you misheard a fragment of conversation in passing, I would suggest you take that up with the scholar himself. He is at the eastern face. He will be there for some time."
"Will he?"
Rex sighed, "He always is. He is a scholar. They do what scholars do."
"And Commander Rel?"
"What about her?"
"Why would she be talking to Orath at night?"
Rex began squeezing his hand, but he replied me, and I considered that to be quite interesting, "I would imagine because they were discussing the expedition. Which is what she was sent here to do. Voss." His voice sharpened, just slightly. "Is there a reason you are interrogating me, Voss?"
I grinned, "I was not aware that I was interrogating you."