Chapter 822 - 822 – Future
Two days passed until Stella appeared in front of Gravis.
Gravis sat on the ground, just thinking about several things when he saw Stella appear in front of him.
Stella came alone, without Liam.
The two of them looked at each other for several seconds in silence, both of them having complex expressions on their faces.
Their entire dynamic had changed. There was now something horrible between them that couldn’t be ignored.
"Liam doesn’t want to see you right now," Stella said.
"Understandable," Gravis said.
More seconds of silence.
"How do you feel?" Gravis asked quietly.
"Hurt, betrayed," Stella said.
Gravis felt a sting in his being after hearing these words.
"It was the worst day of my life, and I still don’t know what I should feel right now," Stella said, keeping several meters of distance between the two of them.
"I’ve had several days to think about your actions, and I realize why you did them," Stella said with a sigh. "I understand freedom now, and I know that I wouldn’t have understood it otherwise."
"But I still feel immense pain whenever I think about that day," Stella said with a shaky voice. "You have hurt me deeply, Gravis, and no matter what reason you had, the pain won’t disappear."
"I can understand your reason, and a part of me is also thankful for that, but I can’t ignore the pain," Stella said quietly.
Gravis sighed. "I know. Something like this isn’t easy to resolve. There is no right choice," he said. "So, what are your plans?"
"That depends," Stella said as she sighed. Then, she looked at Gravis. "How far would you have gone?"
Gravis closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look at her while saying these words.
"I would have gone further, but I would have stopped before penetration," he said.
Stella’s body shook as she heard the word "penetration". It sounded so sterile, but the word shook her being.
"If you had still been unable to comprehend freedom before it, you obviously would never learn freedom," Gravis said. "The Law of Freedom isn’t easy to learn, and it would have been impossible for me to create a better circumstance. This was the full extent of what I can do to help you understand freedom."
"If you hadn’t comprehended freedom, I would have left. Obviously, I would have summoned Liam too."
"However, my shame would have been far too great, and I would have left. I would be unable to look into your eyes after what I have done. Our contact would have stopped."
Gravis opened his eyes and saw Stella looking to the side with discomfort. Hearing Gravis speak these words in such a neutral and dissociated tone reminded her of that day. He had spoken the same way back then.
Stella sighed.
"You know," she said as she looked back with a complex expression. "The only reason why I’m talking to you is that I have felt your pain. My Law of Empathy allows me to feel the feelings of others, and I felt your disgust, regret, and pain back then."
"I know that you genuinely didn’t want to do this."
"However, it still happened. Does it matter if you wanted to do it or not?"
Stella sighed again as she shook her head.
"I don’t know," she said. "I know that you have done all of these things to help me, but the pain is just too great."
"I know that you are a kind man. After all, we have talked for several years once."
"However," Stella said as she looked into Gravis’ eyes with apprehension. "Whenever I look at you, I can only see your cold and emotionless expression from that day."
"I also get reminded of the time when we fought, and I saw your burning and emotionless skull right in front of me."
"I know your personality, and I know you, but I can’t see the real you."
"Whenever I look at you, I only see a cold monster."
Stella’s words hurt Gravis deep inside, but he understood Stella. Going through something like this was horrible, and even if it was done for the right reasons, it still hurt Stella immensely.
Gravis got reminded of Joyce and her father. Back then, Joyce’s father had been willing to draw Joyce’s hatred towards him as long as it meant that she didn’t commit the error of recultivating. He had also known that she might never forgive him, but he had been willing to do it, even if it meant that he would lose her.
The only difference between that situation and Gravis’ current situation was that Gravis had been successful.
Something like this was hard to resolve since there was no correct answer.
On one hand, Stella wanted justified retribution for her pain, but on the other hand, Stella knew why Gravis had done these things, and she also knew that Gravis had also suffered.
There was no correct answer.
What if Stella decided to cut off all contact?
That would make her feel guilty since she knew that Gravis had basically sacrificed their relationship and went through emotional pain to help her. Stella would feel like she had betrayed him.
What if Stella decided to ignore the previous incident?
That was simply not possible. As long as Gravis appeared like a monster to her whenever she looked at him, she would never be happy and would dread the time they spent together. This would obviously be horrible for her and also for Gravis.
Every choice was horrible.
Every choice came with regrets.
Several more seconds of silence passed.
"I can’t make a decision right now," Stella said.
Gravis nodded. "I agree. Right now, everything is still fresh in our minds, and we are both still riled up," Gravis said.
"I would suggest that we cut off all contact for a while until we are sure of what we are feeling. I would suggest that you should return home with Liam while I continue comprehending Laws."
Gravis looked to the side with an evaluating expression. "I think I will be comprehending Laws for around 20,000 or 30,000 years. This should be plenty of time to digest our emotions."
Gravis looked back at Stella. "After that, I will go to the Core Regions most likely."
Stella sighed and nodded. "Sounds good. I think that’s the best course of action."
However, Gravis’ expression changed into a pained one as he remembered something. After some seconds, he made a decision.
"However, I will not come to see you then," Gravis said.
Stella was a bit surprised. "Why not?" she asked.
Gravis sighed. "There is a reason why I haven’t come closer to you back then," Gravis said slowly. "Obviously, we are attracted to each other, and I’m not a person that is too shy to confess when I feel something for someone."
Back then, Stella would have felt happy, but right now, she felt nothing when Gravis said these words.
The spark was not there anymore.
"I have an issue with something, and depending on how it gets resolved, different things might happen," Gravis explained as he didn’t look at her.
Stella was a bit confused. What issues?
"I can’t tell you what it is right now, but it’s uncertain how it will be resolved. In the end, I might either stay the same, die, or change into a completely different person."
"I am not afraid of dying, but I wouldn’t want you to go through enormous pain after I am no longer the person you got to know. If I make the wrong choice, I will no longer be myself, and I don’t want you to lose me like this."
"That’s why I haven’t taken the next step," Gravis said slowly.
"So, I will only come to search for you after this issue has been resolved. However, I don’t know when it will be resolved, and even if it is resolved, I don’t know if I will be the same person anymore."
"I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you the details," Gravis said with a sigh, "but when it is resolved, I will come back and talk to you."
"And if that happens, I will tell you everything about myself."
Stella wasn’t certain what she was feeling right now. On one hand, she felt like she was losing something important to her, but on the other hand, she only felt disgusted when she looked at Gravis. She didn’t want to feel disgusted since she knew Gravis, but it just happened.
It was an indescribable feeling.
"Okay," Stella said. "I don’t know what it is that you’re facing, but I wish you luck with that."
"I hope we can talk again in the future."
Gravis nodded and smiled weakly. "I hope so too."
"I’ll be going now. Goodbye, Gravis," Stella said.
"Goodbye, Stella," Gravis said.
Stella hesitated for some seconds but teleported away.
After some seconds, Gravis sighed.
’Normally, I don’t mind being alone, but right now, I feel lonely,’ Gravis thought.
’Right now, it feels like I’m alone in this world.’
Gravis looked at the sky.
’The issue with my lightning is now on the forefront of my thoughts. Its pressure suppresses me and my feelings. I feel like I am only waiting for the end of my existence.’
’What am I supposed to do with my lightning? Every solution I can come up with requires me to sacrifice something that I don’t want to sacrifice.’
’I don’t want to get rid of my lightning.’
’I don’t want to suppress my lightning.’
’I don’t want to suppress myself.’
’However, no matter what choice I make, I can only have two of these things, never three.’
Gravis lay down and looked at the sky.
’Everything hinges on my lightning.’
’My entire future and my entire happiness rest on the resolution of this issue.’
Gravis sighed.
’But I don’t know what to do.’