Chapter 495 - 495 – Watching
Gravis kept close watch over his developing children as the years passed. In the beginning, these eggs didn’t feel any different to him than looking at any other beast. Yet, as time passed, Gravis slowly started building a connection with them.
In the beginning, his feelings hadn’t truly realized that these were his children, but Gravis kept telling himself, "these are my children," over and over again. He kept saying that to himself as he saw their slow development through the transparent eggs.
As time passed, he started feeling for them. A close feeling of kinship appeared as Gravis felt things he had never felt before. To him, it felt warm and soft. Just watching the growth of these small things felt enticing and interesting to him. It was like he couldn’t pay attention to anything else anymore.
In the fourth year, they slowly started developing traits that were similar to Gravis. Their scales hadn’t appeared yet, but their general body shape started reflecting Gravis’ body shape. Tiny arms, tiny legs, and tiny tails also started appearing on their bodies over time.
In the sixth year, these small things started moving a little bit from time to time. By now, Gravis’ had already realized that these small things were three fragile lives that existed only because of him and the Empress. He had created these small babies, just like his father and mother had created him.
"Am I truly ready to be a parent?" Gravis asked himself with uncertainty. As his connection with the tiny things strengthened, he started becoming nervous. What if he made a mistake? What if he wasn’t able to guide them correctly? What if he hurt them unknowingly?
These were his children, and children were nearly always more important than the lives of the parents. By now, Gravis started thinking that stopping to cultivate in order to have a family wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
Yes, Gravis still hadn’t achieved his goal, and he still wanted to have true freedom, but if he were put before a choice, he wouldn’t know what to choose anymore. Thinking about being before such a choice hurt him immensely, and he tried to distract himself whenever his head went to that place.
’I only need to stay with them until they can fully rely on themselves. When I tell them my problem in the future, I’m sure they can understand my viewpoint. I don’t need to choose between my children and cultivation. With enough time, I can have both,’ Gravis thought to himself.
By now, Gravis was no longer watching the development of his children with the intent to comprehend a Law of Life in mind. Right now, he only watched them because he felt close to them. He simply wanted to watch his children’s growth. Gravis even only partially paid attention to the CMO since his whole mind was occupied with watching his developing babies.
As Gravis realized his changing mindset, he sighed and looked at the sky. ’Father has told me that Heaven has only created these feelings of closeness so that it will drive us to power when we lose our close ones. Yet, am I not considering abandoning my path for this exact reason?’
’Maybe mother was right. Maybe, when Heaven initially created the highest world, it had a different reason. Maybe it felt alone in its world and betrayed. Maybe it only wanted to create beings that genuinely cared for each other,’ Gravis mused to himself.
The workings of the highest Heaven were a mystery, and not even his father managed to see through all of them. One could only discern things about Heaven based on what it had shown them. Unfortunately, the highest Heaven kept to itself most of the time, making it nearly impossible to learn things about it.
Not everyone was a nice person, and not everyone was a selfish person. Some humans genuinely were ready to sacrifice their lives for people in need that they didn’t even know, but some humans would also kill their closest relative for some gold. Humans came in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
Was Heaven similar to humans? Just because nearly everyone believed in Heaven’s fairness, did it automatically mean that it was fair? Just because his father believed Heaven to be an evil and selfish being, did it automatically mean that it was selfish and evil?
Humans often acted differently than they thought themselves to be. There were people in the world that believed themselves to be kind and good but would be willing to kill someone if they even looked in their direction.
Yet, some humans believed themselves to be evil, but as soon as they were confronted with an opportunity to kill someone for wealth, they would find a justification to not take the wealth. Maybe they said that they didn’t need the wealth of someone that weak? Maybe they said that it was beneath them to kill someone like that?
Was Heaven similar? Maybe Heaven truly believed that it only wanted as much Energy as possible and acted that way. Maybe Heaven truly had the power to kill his father but decided not to kill him due to his Energy attraction. At least, that’s what it maybe believed itself.
Maybe, Heaven actually didn’t want to kill his father since he was the only being that stood on its level. There was a realistic chance that Heaven simply didn’t want to be alone, just like many other humans. Maybe it had created humans like this because it felt alone?
Gravis sighed again as he shook his head. ’Thinking about this is useless. Maybe I am simply projecting my own way of thinking onto a being that I can’t understand.’
In the seventh year, Gravis only paid attention to his children. Right now, he didn’t care about his incoming breakthrough to the Nascent Nourishing Realm or about his progress in understanding more Laws. As long as his children’s path wasn’t steadfast and clear, Gravis wouldn’t care about anything else.
’Is it really bad to build attachments?’ Gravis asked himself. ’My progress has halted, but my days have been as colorful and joyful as never before. Every time I see them move, I have this urge to watch, hug, and protect them.’
Gravis kept looking at the eggs. By now, the three little lives inside looked almost identical to him. The only thing missing was their scales since they still hadn’t completely appeared. Yet, some small things started growing out all over their skin. Gravis was sure that these little things would become their scales in the future.
Gravis thought of himself as a human, and his children didn’t look like humans at all, but that didn’t stop Gravis’ love for them. By now, he had realized that his children were pure beasts. There was no inkling of a developed will or Spirit inside them.
Feeling a Spirit or will wasn’t anything difficult for someone as powerful as Gravis. This showed him that his children had nothing human in them. Yet, was that so bad? No, it wasn’t. In terms of personality, Gravis agreed with beasts more than with humans anyway. Did it matter that his children were beasts and not humans?
Gravis didn’t think that it mattered. No matter how they looked or how they acted, they would be his children. As he thought this, Gravis also realized why his father still kept in touch with his more pampered and arrogant siblings.
To Gravis, it didn’t matter if these siblings of his died or not, but that wasn’t true for his parents. Just like Gravis had watched his children, his parents had watched their children. In Gravis’ mind, even if his children turned out to be beasts that he wouldn’t like one bit, he would still love them and think of them as his own flesh and blood.
’Yet, is that good?’ Gravis thought with uncertainty. ’If one of them becomes someone that suppresses everyone else and relies on my love and goodwill to suppress good beasts, is it really right for me to support them then?’
Normally, Gravis would have immediately said that doing that would only be corrupting the children and that it would be hypocritical. Yet, right now, Gravis only wanted his children to be happy. Was it so wrong to play favorites when it was regarding the closest beings he had in his life?
BZZZZ!
His lightning didn’t like these thoughts one bit. Gravis felt himself becoming angrier at himself as his thoughts continued. Lightning wanted fairness and honesty, and these thoughts were not fair nor honest.
After some minutes, Gravis calmed down again and released another sigh. "Maybe it’s better this way. I think my love may have blinded me. If they are hellbent on becoming truly powerful, I will act according to my lightning. Pampering them would only hurt their future path anyway."
"But, if they want to live in peace, I will bring them to a place where they don’t have to worry about fighting," Gravis said to himself.
His lightning was fine with that answer.